Curiouser and Curiouser

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

Hey folks, this is Jasper. Welcome to Dungeons and Randomness. We are deep into Ark 6 Frostborn now. And if you need to catch up, we've got you. There's a one-hour recap of the first 20 episodes in the feed already. So go back and check it out. 40-plus hours boiled down into fast-forward chaos. Share it around. It helps us an absolute ton. Before we get started today, listen, DragonConn 2025 was incredible. We packed the room for the live show, laughed way too hard and probably gave away more ribbons, stickers, postcards, campaign supplements, everything, then we probably should have.

And yes, we're already planning for DragonCon 2026. No spoilers yet, but the goal is to go even bigger with more cast and more of you in Atlanta next Labor Day weekend. So stay tuned. As always, quick thanks to EN publishing, creators of Level Up Advance 5th edition, the system that puts all that danger in detail into a single dice roll for us. Use code D-A-N-D-R for a discount. Also, a quick shout-out to Enclave, a diceless TTRP. We tried and had way too much fun with. It's fast to learn, 10 pages to start, 15 minutes to make a character, and you're instantly in the action.

Veterans can sink their teeth into endless builds and crunchy depth, but newcomers can jump right in without feeling lost. Best of all, it's built around one-shots, so you can drop in, play hard, and get out committing to a full campaign from the get-go. Their Kickstarter launches this October, and if you sign up with our link, it helps us out, and you'll get a special D-N-R class for the game. The links in the show notes, so check it out. Lastly, if you haven't already, please join our Discord. It's where the community comes together to share theories, art work, plenty of chaos with the cast.

And if you want even more, check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash D-A-N-D-R. Backers get behind-the-scenes content. limited run quest and more. At higher tiers, you two can join a Patreon group game run by Jason himself and carve out your own piece of Theria. All right, previously on Frostborn. The crew hit the streets of Esther Holt for a shopping spree that spun completely out of control. Ruby and Chimera signed up for a magical loyalty tattoo at the apothecary, walked out loaded with potions, and even managed to turn a sack of soggy harpy throats into hard gold.

Meanwhile, Nitheras contacts led us to Austin and Jesse Quickbolt, two card-sharking brothers with shady reputations. After a tense round of cards, a deal was struck. The Quickbolts will guide us into the Black Rock Mountains, where we hope to be introduced safely to the Durgar who control the region. That'll help us secure the mountain of Adamantyne we desperately need for Logranes. plan. And that's where we pick up things today. Something tells me Jason is about to say, let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. Take it away, Massey.

Oh, let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the dungeon master. Going around the table. Starting with Ian. Hi, I'm Ian. My pronouns are he, him, any, and I am playing a chimera, the Tefling Warlock. And Susan. Hi, my name is Susan Spanator. My pronouns are she her, and I will be playing Nythera, Rihilith, the Elven Rogue. And Jameson. Hi, I am Jameson. I play Logger and Cragborn. He's a Dwarven Marshall. And that was all the information. Yeah, there you go. That's what I did last time. I'm hoping we got like a fun fact of something.

Like a little. A little bit of a good. I don't want to get on my chest. I'm running for president. And this morning I stubbed my toe. Aww. And the guy I thought was going to do the thing that just happened, Jasper. I did that last time. I remember, like at my brain, I was going to do the thing that just happened, Jasper. just fried in the middle of me talking. I don't know what happened. I'll try again. But I am Jasper. He him. I play Ruby Pedigrew the half-org gear slinger adept. There we go. There we do. There. There is. There was one time in all the years doing this.

I got half we did the intro. I'm just in the nudgement. And like, it all just went away. And I'm just like it all just went away. And I'm just like, it all just went away. And I'm just like, Like, I just in the middle of the ocean, like I have no fucking idea what's happening or what's going on. And I look real scared because they thought I had a stroke. Like it's just, I mean, and that's how I'd like to go. Yeah. As long as it's content. Playing the D&D session. That's it. That's. Well, guys, it is just about time to leave Estherholt. You have, you met with the Quick Bolt brothers.

You made a deal with them. You'll be meeting them on the trail in the Black Rock Mountains so that they can escort you and set up a little meat. And you have a plan for the kids while you're gone. Uh, we did some shopping. Yeah. I can't think of anything else. Like, what? What? I feel like, so, we're gone. Ruby and Kamera last time went shopping. And it was just like it's not a disaster. It was not a disaster. However, it was like saying, oh, kids, you want to go into this cool store? It takes some cash. Just be responsible about it. And that didn't happen. Like, not at all.

However, we did end up selling a bunch of stuff and getting some gold out of it. Which in a meta way, I know, turns out to sort of be exactly what Logrin and Nithera needed. Like money for these guides, or at least part of it. We did buy a bunch of scratchers, though, too. So we might get some gold that way once we go through them. I don't know. I don't know how. I feel like that's such a bright port thing. By now, they have scratchers. They definitely. Definitely do. And dollar generals everywhere. Like I just gotta. That's going to be my next hyperfixation is the history of scratch-offs.

Like when have you been all? I thought you were going to say scratch-offs like just that's the end. Yeah. Oh, just scurgyz. Yeah. Just go bankrupt from. Yeah. Just got a roll of them. In between. Just scratch-scratch-scrack. No. I go bankrupt. from buying like old vintage one so they're like you know you can't redeem anything from them but there's a monopoly themed one from 1998 guys guys can i crash with one of you John left me and you can touch the dogs you can crash with me but you might see my penis I'm I can't help I mean oh yeah it comes with everything the penis it comes with everything that's terrible can help it fully loaded is on a menu can we okay this is already we we all three we all three what is where are we I'm a good question what day is it is it it it's still the fourth It's the fourth of Doolin.

We're still there. So, okay. Serious question. Is there anything you want to do before? Do you want to say goodbye to the kids? Do you want to, uh, do you know, like, what's, what's your last thing that you need to do before you get out of here? I don't think it has to be on camera or whatever. But, um, Nythera would want to ensure that the kids have a place to stay. And just like a... a quick, like, who you said you had people to watch them or like getting contact with them? It's like, I don't want to just like leave them on the streets and be like, bye.

Yeah. And we make sure to give them like 20 bucks for pizza and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I think the plan was to a little bit set them up. Like we told them what we wanted them to do in looking up on these other items for us. But we also wanted to, I think, spend the day with. them. Because by the time we finish talking to the chuckle brothers, I think it's pretty early than days still. So I think what we wanted to do was spend the rest of the day sort of walking these kids around being like, here's how we case potential marks in a city. You know, because like they wanted to be a thieves guild and immediately screwed it up.

We at least to have some experience at doing that. So we, you know, and Ruby's got the Urchin Network. And Night Thayer's got the criminal network. So just sort of like, here's your orientation. While we're away, this is all stuff you can use to your advantage or don't as you see fit. I think that's kind of where we left off with them. We were going to do a tour of the city. When in doing so at the end of all of that, you would end up seeing each of these kids with strangely a bag of caramels. Each of them with ones. Like, this is the way to make it happen. whatever else you're hearing from anybody of Lagerin.

That's where it's at. By the end of the day, Lagerin's turning to talk and all you can hear is all these kids smacking on candy. It's crazy. We're going to get these from. I told you to not do that until after we left. You sure did. Here's what I figure. We don't need to like, you know, allay the point anymore. But after you, after you talked about setting them up, I imagine that this is probably just someone who owns a business, like a front. And then probably does some illegal activity on the side, but like light stuff. Like, you know, uh, you know, uh, you know, mile.

Yeah, mild fencing, a little money laundering, something like that. Nothing, not a thief, not an assassin, nothing like that. I'm trying to get him into wet work necessarily. Yeah. Right. Exactly. So they're mostly probably going to be hanging out at that shop. And then, you know, yeah, checking in. So they'll have a place to stay. Everything's fine. And then, yeah, I'll leave you guys with instructions on like where to pick them up. And what, you know, where they'll be working or hanging out. Yeah. Yeah, we include feeding instructions for all four of them.

Yeah. Here's the school bus schedule. That needs his food wet twice a day. Yeah. And if Laura finds that, we find that. anyone to, uh, you know, maybe get a little contract with. Put a little contract together. True. True. Yeah. And I think we, of course, we would have talked about again off camera, but we would have excitedly explained we've got all these greater healing potions. Like we got all this stuff. We've got a new contact. And then of course, Ruby would at some point have just been like, Logrin, look, and just pull down her, her shirt to see her shoulder and she's got that tattoo.

She could be like loyalty. Like as if he gets it. Did you join a gang? Better. Yes, actually. It's 20% off. Like constantly, ever, forever, anywhere we go that has this stuff in it. It's the best financial decision I've ever made and I thought you'd be proud. 20. Where is this? I mean, it's in Esther Holt, but they've got him everywhere. That's what he said. Bruhaha. I believe. That was the store, right? Yes. Yes. Also, I told them that they might have a little competition with incoming Fort Frostborn. So they might even lower their prices a little bit more if they think that there's someone who's trying to snatch up their business.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds good to me. I like that. Good stuff. He goes to like pat her on the shoulder and then stops. Right on the tattoo. Yeah. Ow. Dumps a little healing potion on it and then smacks it. And smacks it. I have no comment. Right. I mean, it's not the coolest tattoo I've ever seen. No, it. No, it moves. Look. Oh, it's flashing. Yeah, she can't see it. I know it's doing something. I assume it's cool. Oh, they have a special. That's very cool. On gorge potions? Is that what it's us? Yeah, we've got to go back. I don't know. We've got to go back. Tracks. You got a class to install the, you know, not safe for work, etching.

That comes with that message. You just, there's no filters on it. Ian's penis comes up every once in a while. Like it just, it's just. Oh, no. That was one I didn't. Oh, look. Nightthe ear covers it up. What are they even selling there? I don't know. So, yeah, we would generally have just swap notes, basically, about this whole thing. So I think we're, I mean, what else will we do except for make sure we've got all our gear, you know, pull all the straps and make sure everything's locked down and whatever we needed to be able to do. But this is, I imagine, kind of normal in a way.

Like we're not like, oh gosh, we're better we go to the mountains. It's like, oh, yeah, we're going back out in the cold. Like, no big deal. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. So as you guys. are, you know, you're kind of traveling back toward the gate. And this is, this is daytime. So you're really just kind of, you're just drinking in the city and, and, kind of earmarking some things for when you get back. Because if you're coming back in with this or, if you get it, whatever you don't need is exceedingly valuable. So, you know, that could get you money and money gets you goods and services.

Everyone give me a perception check, please. All right. My favorite. Perception, let's go. All right. It's coming up, chimera. I think we need to get nighte there back in the field. I think ever since you got to the city, you are out of your element, and you need to get back to. to stab him. I need to get back to killing. Here I go. She's saying that under her breath and we just came to make it over to a real nervous. Yeah. I can't see. Ninthier at 12, chimera 20, Logrin 6, and Ruby 13. So, chimera and Ruby are going to notice something. And they're probably going to notice different things. things about this, but I'm going to describe the scene.

So every city has some form of city guard. And in some cases, some sort of active military, right? And a lot of cities now have ditched any mayoral structure and they may have a lord or even someone calling themselves a king or queen. Esther Holt is, from a guard's perspective, a city divided. A long, long time ago, there was a very famous sect of paladins, paladins of cord. And the problem is, Cord went away. And once the new gods became something that couldn't be debated anymore, and it really rocked them to their foundation. And there was a disagreement. within that sect of how to go forward.

So, Cord, essentially, if you boil it down to brass text, was about, you know, strength and honor within that, right? And you can interpret that a few different ways. But it's usually a good offense is the best defense. The problem is, the management within disagreed about which. which God they should transfer to, like which God best represented the paladins of cord. So half of them went with Sarad, which is the god of balance and order. And the other half went with Tur, the god of violence and conflict. And I probably don't need to tell you who sided with who.

Uh, pretty, pretty simple. But the problem is, it divided. the entire the entire church there in half. There was essentially a war fault over this eventually. So you almost have a crypts and blood situation within Estherhole. They had to divide up the city. There was a point where the palatins of terror were going to go in and slay every single vampire because they just saw them as future abominations. Why not just take care of it? Also, they were just itching to fight something. The paladins of Srod swept in. They bartered some kind of peace, but it's all very tenuous.

You get the feeling. So you'll see on different sides of the street, like these paladins marching. And they'll look at each other and just like just kind of reach to the hill of their sword. Or kind of like pretend to stretch, but they're gripping the the hilt of their hammer on their bed. Like, they're ready to fight. So you're going to notice that tension a few different times. As the closer you get to the front gates of the city and the city square, like you're going to see more of these little, you know, just a visual dispute. Got a little Montague and Capulet situation kind of going on here.

I don't get that reference. From Romeo and Julia. Two houses. Oh. Oh. I don't read. So I just I'm not moving. I'm not really. I watched Elvis. That was good enough. I'm not watching this next back catalog. I'm not. I've seen enough of your work, sir. Watching Elvis felt like downing a bottle of NyQuil and forcing myself to stay up and watch it. What's the best way I could describe it? It doesn't sound real great. Doesn't sound like you had a good time. No, I didn't say it was. I should do pro doing reviews for Rotten Tomatoes. That was pretty good. So are we noticing anything specific happening? or just feeling that tension.

It'll be a little specific act. No one's fighting. No one's. They're not even crossing the street. There's a pretty wide gap. And they have strict orders not to engage each other, but you just, just for, I'd say, you're noticing the tension and chimera will notice is like, oh, man, that is only a matter of time. Like it is, yeah. This is a bit of a powder keg. So wait, here's a question. Have we been, is this the first time that we would have noticed anything about this? Or is this something while we've been at Esterhold for the past several days? We kind of would catch wind on it or anything like that.

It would be a thing. You just weren't in this part of town. Yeah. So the further you get out, the less of them there are. They're really centered around the town square and guarding leadership and the front gates. But you'll, you probably saw them marching around. but just didn't pick up. And it's like, oh, these are two clearly different. Like, they're dressed very differently. So like, it's like, okay. Okay. Like, they clearly hate each other. Like, if you guys look at each other, it's like, they fucking hate each other. Like, I'm not making that up. Right.

Wow, you said it. It's going to blow. Like, honestly, I feel like I've been watching this happen in like slow motion. And it didn't just dawn on me until just right now. Right. We're kind of like in the middle of a war that's, not really a war. You know what I mean? I feel like we're watching a pot that's about to... Right. Then, you know, at this whole vampire-blowing quarter and all that. And then, I mean, this place is about to blow. Yeah. Maybe not the safest place for the kids to be here. Or maybe the safest place for them. Lots of chaos. I mean, they could lay low.

That's the thing. It's going to be... Honestly, though, I really like this place. I really like this place. like it. It's actually kind of warm, kind of nice. The food has been so good. You like it because there's two bonzos. I know the food has been so good. Not just bonzos, but mostly bonzos. It is really good. I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of going to miss it when we're in the mountains. I'm kind of ready to get out here, though. I feel like we need to let it cool off in here a little bit. Maybe we could open up the doors and let some cold air in. Right, right.

And don't tell them, but it feels kind of good to not have the kids around. I just really happy they're not going to be dying on our watch. Right now, at least. Yeah, right. Someone else's watch. Not my watch. As you guys approach these front gates, they're going to enter the same kind of airlock situation that most of these cities have now. And you are going to wait patiently for those big front gates. to open. And they're, they're going to open it, you know, enough for you guys to get out. But it's not like you got carts or horses or anything. So, you know, they're not cranking it all the way open.

And, you know, guards will, guards will just feel like, good luck. See you soon. I need a volunteer for a travel day. Man. Travel dies. just don't work for us. I'll do it. That's 47 D12's right? I was going to say, I got it. Just for me, it's going to have to be 12. How about a 63? 63. 603. All right. I need more monitors. Just hurt your neck more. I disconnected the one up there. That was dumb. I don't know what I was thinking. I really liked that one. I liked when you just looked at the ceiling once in a while. I tried to make it work. Everyone just thought I got real religious.

Well, talking about Jesus all the time and how we'll save us. sold. That was that kind of is what tipped us up. I think. And you have like 10 rosaries on. You would call me a whole night. I just wanted to earn a cool hat. That's all I want. I just going to unlock the achievement. Then you can move on, you know. You just have to convert four of your friends and then you're done. Yeah. It didn't work for Warhammer, but I think I could, I think I could, I think I could People who are listening to the podcast, you can't see this, but Jason has put up his knuckles in front of the camera and it does say Faith saves spelled out on them.

Pretty incredible. It's a nice font. Yeah. It is a good. It's wrong, well. Yeah. Because it is on four knuckles. I think it's F-A-T-H-A-H- It's not, it's whatever. It's fine. But it looks pretty. The idea is a cross. It's got more fast than all of it. of you guys. That's the problem. Really take strong fath. For a long time, he was no fath, but now he's all. Fath, Fath, no more. Fath no more. Oh, man. Okay. Well. What fuck are we doing? Oh, yeah, 63. Oh. We haven't played in a while. Yeah. On the map. Oh, let me ask you guys a question. Are we still going by the rule that we're just going by like three days of travel, then another one, three days of travel, that's like a thing?

I mean, I feel like that's a day by day. I feel like that's a new question, you know? No. If a roll on the travel, that gets us three days, wouldn't we be there? Like, I don't know how long it's going to take us to get there. That's true. And I think you would want to play out meeting Austin and Jesse first, right? Well, obviously, yes, to all that. Okay. It's going to take, it's going to take at least a few days. But my question was more, do you want to roll for every day or do you want to just? Because the only difference is that the risk goes up a tiny bit if we're skipping days.

That's all. Any bit. Are you trying to warn us away from whatever until the 63 right now? No, I would never. I'll cry. No, it's because something positive came up and he doesn't want to give it to us. That sounds like me. That does try. You guys should have more faff. I don't mind skipping. I don't mind skipping a few days if it. Yeah, I think one rule for three days is fine. That's good to me. How hard was that? It's pretty difficult for me. Yeah. Awful. I never want to do it again. Don't ever. Give me a choice. It's the first one in a month. It's the end of the day.

I'm decision fatigued. I can't do it. Make it for us. My VP, amnesia or whatever. I said one day at a time. Never said three days. You're talking about one day again. We said three days. No, uh. I guess that's acceptable. Yeah, I'm the boss, so you got to listen. I mean, I do seek your approval in all things, usually. Yeah, we got to talk you out of that. That's bad. That's not good for you. I'm going to have a car. conversation. Ah. Yeah. Okay, we're going one day. Yes. Had your chance. Fuck you. Oh, no. I hate this. No, no. So we're going to get two days in. And you're getting into the foothills now.

And another day you'll be at the mountains proper, and that's where you're going to meet. Austin, Jesse. I need to know. an arcana check from anyone trained in it. And I'm guessing that's chimera. That is true. That is me. We're gonna need your spidey senses. It's not... I'm not... Funny enough, I'm not great at Arcana, but how's that? 16. 16. Can I get a wisdom saving throw from you, please? Hmm. Yeah. It's the hag. Oh, no doubt. We have the hag stuff. Go on. Yeah, Ruby's been spraying out on everybody. No! Oh, no! Well, that's a crit one. That's an eight total, but a crit one.

So, okay. Okay. Good. Okay. This will be interesting. You guys are taking it slow because these are, these are, these are foothills. And there will be a little bit of flat land and then you're going up 20 or 30 degrees, then a little bit of flatland, you know, and you're looking for a place to get ready and rest for the night. Night has descended and it's just been, it's just been a day. Like, just, there's, this entire place has been coated in in essentially like white ice. So it blends in with the snow. And you're, you're walking up an incline and then all of a sudden you'll, you'll slip or fall or something like that.

So it's happened several times. And chimera's going to slip. And you're just not going to hear him hit the ground. And he's just going to be out of sight, gone. Will we immediately notice that? I think. Like we're not far away from one another. No, no, no. You guys are within speaking distance, you know, you're, you're, stand by me distance. That's how I like to. with a four-person party. You know what I'm saying? Yep. Mm-hmm. You're all on the train tracks. So. Safe. You're used to hearing sounds, the crunching of snow, the weather's not too bad, it's a little windy, but like, I imagine Kimeri makes some noise as he's falling.

So like, ugh, but like the sound is like, and just, it's kind of echoey and it's gone. Like he fell into a deep hole, but like no sound after the initial slip and fall. Immediately look around. Yeah, stop. Nobody move. Take out daggers. Come here. Good screw around. Guys, what the hell? He's like, go to where his last footprint was and, like, feel around. Pat the snow. Yeah. Yeah. Can I get, can I get an arcana check from you? Yeah. It's going to be great. 12. 12. Yeah, that's not bad. So you're, you're feeling around. And there's no imprint of his body falling, right?

It's, you can see where he slipped and then just gone. So he didn't fall into like a crevasse. He didn't slide down the mountain. I love Ian's face right now. He didn't, like, he's just gone. And as you feel around, you're going to get this tingle in your fingertips. Like you're wearing gloves, you're wet, and there's just like a, hmm, like, um, like, um, like there's a light current running through something. Like you can, like, it's so mild. It's not, it's not, it's not shocking you or anything, but it just feels like, like, oh, I don't like that. Oh, that feels weird. like your hands fell asleep.

And you wave away and you're kind of Geiger countering it, like a metal detector or something. And you're like in this area. So where his body should be, there's there's some kind of like, you're just kind of feeling it out. And with that archa check, you're you're almost going to see like a shimmer in the air. Like some sort of like it. It almost looks like. if you're staring down a road on a hot summer day, that, that, that, that, a wacesey kind of like distortion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like that. Which doesn't make any sense because it is no.

All right. Do that again. Do that again. He's just like waves his hands. He's like looking at Ruby, but he's waving his hands at the, at the shimmer. Like that. Yeah, like that. What is that? What is that? She's going to sort of get down. to the ground, not on top of that. Like, wherever she is, she's going to just go down, kind of like trying to look just to see whatever else she can see about this thing. Without touching it, without getting close to it, but between, putting wherever chimera was between her and log run, and she's just eye in it. Pretty sure he's just a ghost now.

I mean, it's a hell of what it happens, right? Yeah. I mean, we can't just accept that. We have to find him. I mean, that would be two ghosts for me. That would be really cool, but that's not what I'm looking for right now. I'd like to talk him about it first. Yeah, you should have checked with us. 100%. Come here. Get back here. All right. We can figure this out. Loggerin's actually going to get out a torch and light it. Okay. I want to see it. I want to see, first of all, if the smoke interacts with this area in any way, but also the heat of the fire itself.

He's got a good heat resistance. I'm not too worried about burning him with the torch if it comes to it. We jump way down the road, but okay. That's good. I mean, just say, like if he's playing hide-and-seek and I suddenly poke him with the hot end of the torch. If his face is there or something, it's not like burning Ruby. I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So this torch isn't going to react with it at all. The only time it seems to is while you're you're kind of trying to find where the borders of this are. So it's like an invisible wall in a video game, though it's not stopping you at any point.

You can only see that shimmer. There's clearly some shape to it. And the only time you're going to get a glimpse of it is when you move the torch quickly. Like you're just kind of like flicking back and forth and that seems to work better. Can Ruby and I try Arcana? I know that's not our thing. But we're all trying to figure it out. So this Arcana check isn't necessarily. And Archana check doesn't always, we usually use it as like a magical spidey sense or, but it's also just Arcane knowledge. Have you ever heard of something like this? Have you ever, you know, because you guys have been around?

I mean. Yeah, you do that. Go ahead. Nythera is going to get a plus three. For reasons. Well, should I roll again? That doesn't. That's no. Just for flavor to. 14. Just for flavor two. So Ruby has out of one of her little mini pouches and pockets on her vest, She's going to pull out one of those metal pens that you can pull and it will telescopically come out like a professor, kind of a pointy thing. So she'll use that sort of to poke around in that area as she's kind of doing her thing. And I'll roll Arcana. I'm going to add. Am I going to add? No, I'm not going to roll.

I'm not going to add an expertise. Ah. That's a 10. Yeah. Yeah. So. We have a 14 for an Ith era. I'm going to let you roll a history check. And that's going to decide how much I give you. This is going to go hand in hand. Now, this is elf shit in a way. There's some elf shit in here and you're old enough to have been with these elves and get some of this knowledge. So like, I just need to know how much to give you. Okay. If it's elf shit, do I get extra... Extra. That was the worst argument I've ever heard. It's just, give me. You get a plus one. Yay! Bad arguments for the win.

It's for the win. Okay, 16. All right. So. Obviously, everything went wonky a century ago, right? The long roar, that magic leaching into the ground. And ever since then, there have been very clear differences with nature itself. You could see the animals have, you know, they've mutated, they've changed, they've adapted. And there's a ripple that came out from that. And it's done something very interesting. It has created little tears in reality. And the way you access these tears are always different. Sometimes it might be by throwing something at it. Sometimes it might be by setting it on fire or, you know, a poison mist or something.

There's always some different way to access it. but from what you've heard, people who fall into something like that very rarely come back out. But there have been a couple. And they've described like a, like, it was like a parallel reality or something. It was just so absolutely exotically different that they have. had trouble describing the shapes, sounds, colors. So, yeah. Oh. I've heard of this. Oh, oh no. Since the long roar, that, that, that magnitude of magic just seeped into the land itself, and my people have studied it, and this is a rip. A rip of reality.

He fell into another dimension, I think. Well, the elves, the elves had to give it some kind of name, and they've taken it to call on it, the Faywilds. We gave it a name because we've extensively studied it as well as we can, and we call it the Faywilds. Like, he's just gone into some other place now? Like, he's just gone? We could try to follow. But because we could see the rib. But it's very rare to make it back. We can't just leave him there. So Logrin is, while you two are talking, he gets a length of rope off his pack. He ties one end of it around his waist.

And he tosses the other end to Nithera. Says, go back to his footprints and just run along and see if you go. And I'll just hold on to this end. Okay, I was worried that you were going to expect me to drag you back. Okay, no. No, no, I'm staying here. That'd be crazy. I would never go. I don't think all three of us would be able to. Okay. Is that supposed to mean? I'm already walking away. It's your armor, dude. It's real heavy. And you're dense. Bye. She disappeared. tears and do that it bench and she can still hear and yelling about it. Let's... I want to cut their rope.

Let's put a pin in this for just a second. Ian. Mm-hmm. You do fall, but only a few inches. And you fall into this plush, tuft of grass. This... This warm... meadow as a matter of fact. And obviously, this is odd. From your perspective, you started to slip, you fell and just like, and there's going to be like a light pollen in the air after you, after you land. And if you, you kind of start looking around, there are these massive trees. And the canopy above you is so dense with this bright, foliage. And we're talking this pastel collection of hues that looks nothing like trees from where you are.

The top of grass you're resting in is bright purple. Like, everything seems to have the saturation turned way up, right? And you're going to see your friends. but just kind of like ghostly faint representations of them. But you're going to see them looking for you. You're going to see them poking around. You're going to see them doing everything that they were doing. But they're just not corporeal. They're not. They're not solid. Well, the first thing I'm going to do is take out like a bottle that has like three Xs on it and look at it and then like throw that away.

Be like never again. Um. And can I try and interact with them in any way? I get. I mean, the first thing that that I would probably do is be like, um, hello, how? Hello? Can you hear me? Can you see me? Can you feel me? go up to them and like touch them. Is there any kind of interacting with them? A couple of interesting things first. As you move around, the arrow almost has a different density. You're going to, you're going to feel that there's a mild resistance. Almost like you're in water, but not nearly as as much pushback. Like you're just, you just feel like as you can see the air current around your body.

When you speak, you can see the sound come out of your mouth. So it's very, it's very odd. And you're going to watch that sound just kind of like bounce off trees around you and fade away. And if you try to, if you try to reach out to your friends, it's like the transparency's been turned down to like 5%. Give me an Arcona check, please. Okay. Let's do this one more again. How about a natural 20? I should have really hit both sides of the die here. Yeah. Guys, I've tamed to Faywilds. It's mine. So. Holy shit. Oh, this is pretty good. What? Holy shit. Oh, my God.

I was muted. I was like, oh, my. God. What do you read that out to everybody? Yeah, so just, I mean, sometimes the dice tell a story. And what I rolled was plainer knowledge. You've spent many an hour pouring over tomes related to the planes beyond your own. You accurately determine one special trait of a plane mention such as time distortion, unusual weather patterns or any other characteristic that would impact travel. Now, does that travel? me traveling through here? Is that me travel, me traveling through planes? Through planes, I would say. Because like, come on, right?

So I think after after the shock of it wears off, you're like, oh, just, you know, right. It's one of those things you read about and like, there's a party that's like, that sounds like bullshit. Or it's so fantastical that you're probably embellishing this much. You know, it's the scientific discovery thing. Like, you know what I mean? There's no Lancet to publish this in. It's a weird analogy. But imagine somebody describing to you the way a skunk smells, but you've never smelled it before. And then the first of you smell it. Like you're not necessarily going to go skunk, but then you go, oh, okay.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I get it. Okay. Yeah. This is the fair wild. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to give you a couple of bits of knowledge. Life. in the Fay Wild is more malleable than it is on the area. So, like, trees and grass are alive. But there's also a certain amount of sentience that comes with that, so trees can move sometimes, and grass can, you know, paw at your feet as you as you trample it. And, you know, there's also something, you know, there's also something, You've heard people and creatures from the Fayewell are not to be trusted. Not everyone's bad, but it's almost impossible to tell which ones are and are not.

And you've just heard enough stories. Like, imagine flipping through like these, these, you know, these extra-dimensional tales. And it's like a tales from the crypt episode every time someone interact. with it. It's like, oh, no, that's monkey ball wish. That's what you got right there. So like, it's, it's, it's kind of that. You're also going to know one more thing. So the way this works, normally, it is widely, it is widely believed by real outgoing, uh, you know, a planar knowledge like, like weirdos that have stared into the abyss. And, you know, they said there are many planes that we just could not ever get access to.

It's theoretical science, so to speak. The way this seems to be set up is that there's Theria as a plane. And then there's the Fay Wild right here. And one of these rifts is almost like, like something tearing right through, which accidentally joins these two planes. That's why you can see your friends. That's why it's, it's, it's like someone has tried to blend the object in that very space, but it just didn't take all the way. Okay. Well, it looks and sounds like a place that. I would have made up. But here we are. And now I'm talking to myself, apparently.

And that's something that's happening. That's wonderful. I want to... So, this is really cool, by the way. So, like... Oh, thank you. Yeah, I mean, I think it's really cool. But I think Kimira also thinks it's really cool. Because, like, this is, like, incredible. You know? Like, no one gets to go to the Baywild. What am I going to get back? Right. It's like shit. Yeah. So I think like, do. I think he's like, there's a thing in the back of his mind that's like, well, I do have to get out of here. Like that's something that needs to happen. And it can say my friends are working on that.

So that's good. Something will happen with that. Um, you're seeing them like pull out rope and like kind of yell at each other. And it's like, it looks like someone called Lager and fat. And then like you're just. You know, good your stuff. But I kind of want to like take it in a little bit. I know it's a kind of a dangerous place for the reasons that you described, but I sort of want to like, I sort of want to take it in and I kind of want to look around and see if there's anything that I could maybe bring back. You know, like a cool rock or a cool flower or something or, you know, like.

Sure. If there's something that is eye-catching that looks like it would, that doesn't come from our world. Oh, drugs would be perfect. Yeah. A big mushroom. That's just... Who can't have to be around. Exactly. So, everywhere you look. I would say there's not a single. thing that you can point to. And it's like, oh, we got those. Those are in Detroit. Like, you just like, none of that shit. Like, it's, the mushrooms all look weird and kind of like growing into gnarled hooks. And like, there are, there are low hanging fruit on these trees that are shaped like stars and, and shit.

Like, it's all very like, huh. Like, okay, it's like if Nickelodeon made a world, you know what I mean in the early 90s. Like, Yeah, yeah. The agro-crack is there. Like, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, Yeah. Rivers of green slime. Yeah. Yeah, I think, I think, yeah, he'll, he'll probably like, go up and pick some fruit and take some mushroom. Now, I feel like he's, I think he'll, like, I'll, like, I'll inspect it, like, give it a sniff or something, he's not going to eat it. He's not going to taste it. But from later, scientific study. Yeah. What if these make new potions that couldn't have been made with ingredients in the area?

That's what I'm thinking. Like, Nathira might have some use for this, but I, Khimer doesn't think about you. There's a lot of poison in the Thawahua. There's tons of stuff. Like, he's not super concerned about the utility of it. But I mean, those thoughts across his mind. But he's like, this is pretty. I want to take this, you know. So, yeah, he'll collect a few things, like some mushrooms, some fruit. Maybe, yeah, pick a flower or something like that. And, yeah, then I think he'll call out too. He'll just be like, hello? Is anyone there? Was it just me? Is it me talking to myself?

Or can anyone hear me? You're gonna feel that familiar chill run up your spine. And those, those hands are going to curl around your shoulders and kind of dig in this time. Like, he's, he's using the nails, like a little bit. Oh. I'm here and I think you and I need to talk. Uh-oh. Oh. I'm always open for a chat. If you like what you're hearing, don't forget to go check us out over at patreon.com slash d-a-n-d-r. It keeps the lights on, keeps everything moving for dungeons and randomness, and make sure that the epic story keeps flowing. Patreon.com slash d-A-N-D-R.

It's very rare you and I get to speak without any. Extra parties. True, we bleed busy lives. How may I listen to you, my patron? That I think is our problem. You aren't listening to me anymore. Hmm. What do you mean? Could you be more specific? A little bit with those nails, just like a, like... Uh-huh. You owe me. You've owed me for quite some time, and you have racked up a debt with interest. I am working on it. I'm having one of the kids help me out even. There should be a few people I can sign up for you. No problem. We just need to get out of here and get up the mountains and get back to Asterohold.

Maybe you can help with that. I mean, if that's what you want. There's this long pause, right? And he's gonna, like, another thought occurs. What if I kept you here, and we experienced an entire new plane of existence and all of what it has to offer? Well, I do like the sound of that. But... I have some obligations that I have to fulfill. And I know that a being like you... You know, the obligations of a mere mortal like me that doesn't concern you, it doesn't bother you. It's difficult for you to even care. But for, you know, those of us that live mortal lives, those things are important.

And they make it easier for us to get the things done that we want to do. And we know where this place is. And we know how to get here, kind of. So it's not like we're leaving forever. Again, like, stark silence. You know he's there, but like, you know. It's like that silence that's just like, it's heavy. You know. You can't see a face. So like it's just, it's like, it's a good, that bad, that like, he stopped digging in. So like it's just neutral. Like it's odd. Give me a perception check, please. Okay. I think my luck has run out with rolls. Let's see. Oh, maybe not.

Woo, 24. Damn. You're gonna hear this fluttering noise. Almost like, almost like the beating of wings, but it's very slow. Like, oh, woo. And the foliage in the trees above you are just kind of kind of shimmy a little bit as if something's hovering above them. And that's silence, that pregnant pause. If you and I were square. I would have told you that it was a terrible idea to harvest everything in this glade. There are these little tendrils that are going to start peeking out, kind of like exploring and hovering through the foliage itself. And as they wrap around branches and grab bunches of they're going to part this, this canopy.

And it sounds like breaking glass almost. Like it sounds horrific. And there is some sort of gigantic plant creature above you. It doesn't seem to have a face or eyes or anything, but it's got tentacles. And it's unhappy, I would say. Like, it's pretty obvious. That is unhappy. Usually I'm into the tentacles, but not this time. Okay, we've got to go. I'm looking for, I'm looking for the place that I fell. And I got to poking around it. Yeah, well, here's my thinking. I don't know if this is going to work, but I'm like, okay, this is the fate of wild. Things act differently here, but I know that these places are connected somehow, and I fell into here.

So all I have to do is fall up. Backwards. That's how that should work. And so I am going to try and do that. Describe that to me exactly. Yeah. That's a fair question. Let's see. You know, sometimes Jason, I just talk and things fall out of my mouth. And I don't actually think any of them through. It's gotten you this far. Okay. Here's what I'm going to, here's what I'm going to try. You let me know if this is coaxetic. Sure. I'm going to. I'm going to try and fall backwards. and fall up a little bit. So in order to do that, I'm going to fire an Eldridge blast into the ground to try and propel myself.

Kind of like do a little bit of a rocket jump almost. Yeah, are you quick three are reading? Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly so. I don't imagine it'll get me far, but maybe it'll get me just enough to like get through this, get through a rift. Look, you just need a few inches. That's it. You know, that's generous. Thank you. And I'll take it. Never mind. So yeah, that's what I'm going to do. So, okay. Are you, like, laying on the ground and like, do... Describe this. What's your post? So you can see that little shimmer. And I said you only fell like a few inches. So like you...

I mean, you just... Yeah, describe it. Shit. So I think it's like... So it's sort of like... He sort of like bends down a little bit, sort of like, not supine on the ground, but, uh, you know, like closer to the ground. And then he is going to, uh, maybe like on his knees or something like that, like close to the ground. And then he's going to try and like hop as much as he can, like off his knees and then shoot, shoot into the ground. And try. And also at the same time, like, fling himself backwards just a little bit, like, just by, um, yeah. Bending is, you know, you know, like bending your spine backwards.

I don't see how this could fail. So, okay, I need, so okay, so okay, you're not attacking the ground, right? Like you're, you're gonna hit it. What? We're trying to see. If we could just spit in the eyes of physics. And, just have you blessed. So give me an Arcana check, please. Okay. Let's go. Oh, that was almost a 20. How about 10? Well, that was a 10. That was a 10. So you're going to kind of like, it's almost like you're squatting over yourself, kind of hunched over. like a goblin, because you gotta arc your back in such a way. So like, you're gonna fire. And it's going to hit the ground and that that blast back is gonna hit you square in the chest.

And you're going to, you're gonna pop up a few inches. And on the other side, everyone's gonna see Chimera's ass just for a second. Blink into existence and then fall away again. Like, it's gonna be very. very cold and then warm again. So while you're, you guys are getting this rope ready and it's like, okay, how we? And just back in. Like, was that his ass. That was definitely his ass. That was his ass, right? I would recognize that ass anywhere. Yeah, I thought so too. All right. Get in there. So when you land. I'm trying to hold that in. Did you mean get into the ass?

Okay. As soon as you land, things are going to get dark. And you're going to realize that Colgoth has spread his fucking wings out and plunged into the ground. He's making sure you can't leave. And you're going to see these tentacles just kind of like slither. We're not leaving until we're not leaving until we're. square. You promise me within 48 hours you make this right, or you stay here. I might need more than 48 hours, remember, the thing about mortals, time is a really big deal to us. Forty-eight hours. If I stay here, I mean, you could lose out on a lot.

We could lose out on a lot. Those tentacles look like fun, but I think it's only a one-time thing. I think you're forgetting. I can leave you at any time. What do you need to be square? I need specifics and quick. Yeah, these things, they're not moving fast. They're just kind of like they're feeling outwards. So like you're, you know, the only thing you could do, you're anchored to the ground. So you're just kind of like looking like this. You got Batman neck. So like you're just kind of like, oh God, like you're just looking around and shit. Specifically 89 Keaton neck.

So. Right. What was that? It was accurate. So. There's the slightest pauls, but his tone's going to soften just a little bit. That's fair enough. I want a life, one life that you need to take in some way, and it needs to take in some way, and it needs to be sentient. No elk, no rats. I want a person. And when you say life, do you mean death? Or do you mean, you know, servitude? Because I can get you that. Either. Okay. 48 hours. Either one. Okay. Okay. And you promise. Of course I do. But it's not going to matter if I can't leave. Those wings are just going to like let go of the ground.

And instead of, instead of, like, anchoring to your shoulders, his arms are going to stretch and kind of wrap around your chest, almost like he's seat belting you in. and his wings are going to flap just incredibly fast a few times, and you're going to fly right back out of that portal. And as you do, you just had to do something, speed, run in, fall in, it doesn't matter. And like, boom, you're just going to just back out into the cold night, ass first, and... Can we do it like a symbolic thing real quick where he the arms of Colgoth pull him out and he's like made this dark deal but then Nythera and Ruby are waiting right there for him and instead of Colgoth's arms he falls into Nythira and Ruby's arms.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you were right there like you're yeah. I do like that. I love that. Also, when you do come out, you would hear the words. No, we can't come back for him later. Why would you even say that, Logrin? It's just taking too long. That's all, oh, hey, he's back. No need, no need. I'm good, I'm good. We got you. We got you. We got you. Where did you go? You would never believe it. I was in a parallel reality. It was exotically different. I have trouble describing the shapes, the sounds, the colors. Yes, it was the Fay Wild, yes. Yeah. Take a closer look at the potions you guys got.

I brought some cool stuff back, though. I pull out like the fruits and toe stools that I have. Does it come through? Does it? Oh, that's a good question. Everything you were carrying on you definitely comes through. In fact, there's, it's going to drop right next to you, but there's a, there's a couple of large clumps of that purple grass. And as soon as it hits the cold winter air, it's going to dry up into these little, these little puff balls. And as he's receding back in the wings go away, the wings never come out. Like that's like he doesn't like to be seen.

So like he's he's receding in and just almost like as a gesture of goodwill, you can smoke those. I do smile. Yeah. It's that. Camir is in a bit of a rough spot, but he does, he does smile. That's good. Nighteara is going to go into like mom mode and like turn, hold you by your shoulders. Like look at your face. Are you okay? Is everything? Did anything get you? Are you infected? Do you feel different? Do you see redness in his eyes, Ruby? Yeah, but that's pretty much always there. I'm not wrong. Listen, I know he's here, she will say. But then she kind of comes back to you.

I've never seen that happen before. I feel like something's not right. Yeah. And she's kind of pointing to the wings, you know, like... The wings are kind of a big deal. We should talk. maybe not now. We've got a little while to go. Or camp to set up. I guess it is getting dark. But soon. I appreciate you trying to come and get me. It's no small feat to getting in and out of the faywild. Did you do it or did the ground do it? In other words, was it something that you did to make it happen? Or was it that anybody just... It's speed. It's velocity. Well, damn. Like at any point, if one of you guys just ran towards the thing, break, right through.

Speedy thing goes in. He was moving fast enough when he fell, that just... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a longer to see. Yeah. Physically can't get in there. I'm trying. I'm trying. The whole time you guys are talking in the background, trying to get in. Can't do it. Honestly, if you fell, you'd rip clean through to the next plane, whatever that would be. Punch straight through to hell. Meet cold off face to face. Yeah. Oh, there's good. Nobody's expecting you either. There's just, oh. Hey. But I don't recommend going in there right now. There was something very large with a lot of tentacles as I was leaving.

But we should mark this place on a map. A thousand percent. She's already got it. Her book, out, her notebook, where she sketches everything out of maps and all of that. So she's marking it all. We should set a physical marker as well because in some random plane might be hard to do. find. That's a good point. Put two logs next to it or something. Two log rinse. Even. Stop that. Well. Actually, you know what, for that, could you give me a dexterity saving check there, Ian? Me? Oh, damn. Okay. Shit, all right. Dex is not good. Oh, no. One! She fall right back in. Yeah, critical.

One of these tentacles is just going to shoot out and wrap around one of your wrists and start pulling at you. So somebody, Nithyra, knife! I try to chop. Yeah. Knitero is right there. She'd chop it. So, you're, like, this thing slices pretty easily, almost as if like it, like, we're a cucumber or something like that. There's a lot of liquid in it. And it's just going to, like an artery, like, it's going to chop off. And you're going to feel it go slack around your wrist. You're like, eh, like just kind of get it off. And that thing's just going to like a hose spurt everywhere.

And there's this. There's this. There's this yellow. liquid that's coming out of it. And it is just, just, it's warm and kind of vaguely sticky, like watered down honey. And just going to go everywhere and... Let's go somewhere. Yeah, let's go somewhere. It's got out of here. Don't want to stay in here anymore. I guess it's March. And the last little bit of it as it kind of like shrivels up and it's just going to like pop. and there's going to be this like arcane. Like this, this puff of, of, of energy you're going to be able to see. And all that yellow liquid is just kind of kind of sparkle on you.

And you can, it has a smell about it. Like, it's obviously some sort of pheromone or something, maybe something to call to others like it. But like, there's nothing on this plane. So like, that's fine. But it does something. Like, you could do an arcane check if you want. But like, yeah, it's mostly just gross. Yeah. Okay, please. This gross, sticky pheromones. All right. Okay, better. That's great. So you remember how there's nothing in between tonight. Yeah. Nothing. In the 21. That's a 21. That's a 21. So 19. So, do you remember how I said life in the Fay Wild is very malleable?

Well, this liquid is going to take a little bit of that into Theria. And around you, you're going to hear like a... Like, kind of cracking, like breaking. And you're going to see a few fists plunge up from the snow. And slowly, these corpses are going to stand up. Just mountaineers that have died in the past adventures that have met their end. And there are three of them. I'm gonna get you guys a nice battle map. Oh my god. It's a weird night, guys. Hey, anything with the Faye Wild means weird, that's for sure. Yeah. Maybe they're not here for us. Just keep walking.

Yeah. Just don't make eye contact. Yeah. I don't have any change. I mean, how fast can they unburied themselves? Let's just walk away while they're getting out. They're still getting up. It's just disrespect. It's rude. You'll hike for another couple hours. We'll lose him. Being ableist. Shit, am I the bad guy? Well, we did have these hats with school and crossbone on them. Oh, that's true. I thought about that. Maybe not doing that. But it looks so cool. So, who's got, who's got. Who's got? got a good nature check for me. Nature's not this group's thing. Yeah. I've got a one.

Yeah. Because that's intelligence, right? You know what? Yeah, that's yeah. It's not a strong thing. What's okay? You know what? I'll let you do one survival in place of four. Intellect. Yeah. I've got two on survival. I've got three. Hey, Ruby. Okay, it's good. It all hinges on you. All right. Well, then in that case, I'm gonna add my expertise on this. What's the expertise in? I get, oh, it's just expertise die. Oh, well. Oh, man. Never mind. Oh, my God, forget it. So you rolled a two on the D20 and a one on the expertise dies. So that's a six in total. So you're gonna- you're all gonna, you're all gonna, you're all gonna, You're all going to notice something.

That these things are moving much faster than what you... You've seen zombies before. Like, every adventure where there's salt eventually runs into zombies. These are something different. These look pumped up by whatever this piss yellow liquid is. So these are almost... They almost look alive, but like definitely not. Like, they are very, very dead. But, yeah, there's something very interesting about it. Can I walk them. If everyone would do me, if ever right click on yourselves and toggle your combat state. So these have become whites. Oh god. Whites. Whites.

Whites. Whites. You can have to fight the whites. Why? I want to... Oh my God. What are these rolls? Holy shit. Hopefully I have Ian's night. My next roll will be a 20. Oh, well, they even. Okay. All right. So, white, Ruby, Augren, white, chimera, uh, night there. What? What? Don't you have like quick shot or something? I was about to say, I've got quick draw. So this is a reaction. Okay. When initiative is rolled is the action. So whenever it's rolled, my reaction is, I tear my weapon from it sheath in this case. It's just on her on her wrist and let fly a reckless attack.

Range to attack. Basically, that's it. Okay. So she's just, She's going to be eyeing chimera and, you know, cracking jokes and everything because it's terrible and all of this is weird. And seeing these things punch out of the snow, all of this is insane. Absolutely. And she's just going to instinctively just lift up her wrist bolissa and just let it fly at the first one that she can see, which is over chimera's shoulder. So we're going to look over here at that one right there. All right. So there are three on the field. Yep. And... She's upgraded her wrist ballista.

So it's going to be a cross-bow-y type thing here. And here we go. Oh, my God. Is that 17 damage? Well, you know... Yes. Well, you know. Yes. Fuck. So you're going to hit. this thing, right where the neck and the armor meet. So it's gonna kind of hit it at an angle and pin its neck in a way where it can't turn. So Batman neck. It's gonna force itself to look at you. Break the bolt off and it's just gonna rip the throat meat off of this thing. Terrible. Ugh. So it doesn't even care. Well, I mean, it's dead. It has different. It has different priorities. Yeah. This one white, it's so the one white next to Logrin, it's about 20 feet away.

It's going to, it's going to kind of like do a like a breakdown thing where it's, it's, it gets itself ready. And it is going to full bore sprint. And it's got these gnarled blue hands. And he's going to attempt to just grab. Like, just, just choke the shit out of them. Like, there's no... It's not like a, like a thought-out plan or anything like that. There's a sword, but it's almost not being used. Like, it is just in one of its hands. I feel like, I choke this guy better, but I have the stupid sword in my hand. That's a crit. Oh, my God, and that's max damage on every. everything.

No. Yeah. It's one above my armor class. Okay. It's one. One is one. Okay. Well, putting aside how absurd that is. Shit. We're going to build. We're not rolling on the crit table. That's good news. So it is going to It's the sword is going to dig into you, but it's almost going to drop the sword and wrap its icy fingers around you. And you're going to feel your skin begin to like freezer burn. Like it is, it is spreading out as it's doing that. And that's another, that's 20 slashing damage and 12 cold damage and it has you wrapped. I don't like that. I don't like that.

I'm fine. You don't look fine. Yeah, the other ones, I'm fine. So Ruby's scrambling. So she did that first shot to that other white and then all of a sudden this one comes up to Logren and plows into him. She's going to just again scrambling. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she's going to once again, um, aim over at this one though, this new one, or the first, I guess, well, the one, the one that went to Logren. and is going to I'm going to go ahead and use a combat maneuver called Double Shot, which just basically means I've got, I get two ranged attacks for the price of one.

And she's just going to go straight for it right over a logger and shoulder here. So here we go. You're targeting the other one too. Oh, I didn't realize I could do that. Yeah, it's an 11, so it misses. That was a 3 on the dice. No problem. But I get to. to do the second one. So let me try that. Oh, that does hit. Minimum damage, seven. But yeah. That's still damage. So I've turned everybody's health on and you can't really see Loggins anymore. He's down to six health. That's, that was a nasty one. Uh, shoot. And she's going to move over next to Lagrin. And that's it.

I guess. Shoot, I don't like this. So you can. Actively being choked. He's like, I said, go get the other ones. I'm fine. No one listens. Who are you, chat? So this thing's got its malls. It's got its mitts around your big thick neck. Yeah. Muscular, like, you know, and I didn't want to It's a fat neck. Like it's it's a perfectly proportionate neck. Um, the heck. I've dug myself too deep. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I can't get out. No, I can't get out. Point is. Anyway. So I got a couple things I want to do here. One of them is try to regain my pride. You don't get hit too often.

This is just true. That's true. I'm going to use Dwarven Toughness. We're going to use Dwarven. which is going to get me some temporary hit points. That's the first thing we're going to do. That's seven temporary hit points. And I guess I wasn't targeting myself, so it didn't give them to me. Oh. Oh, it gave it to the creature. It should work that way. That's ridiculous. Yeah, nope. That's okay. That's fine. That's fine. Okay. So that's my bonus action. And then as a action-action, I'm going to hit this with my hammer. So the target is grappled. Escape DC-12 until the grapple ends.

The target is restrained and the only attack the white can make. Well, don't worry about that. That's later. But yeah, you are restrained. So if I... Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, if I... Here's the thing, you could still attack, but it's, you know. It's a... He can use strength. I can use strength or decks. I'm obviously using strength. Or is it athletics? It's a... I think it's a save. Hold on. Strength or decks against D.C. Strength or strength? Okay. So it's safe. Okay. It's a safe or a check? Against the maneuver D.C. And you said 12 before? Yes. Yes. Okay. But is it a check or a save?

A saving throw, sorry. Got it. Totally. Makes sense. Just make it sure. All right. So Loggering goes to try to hit it with his hammer and realizes he's still being choked. So he will instead try to wrestle. If I win this throw, if I win this save, can I be grappling it? If you roll. twice as much as you need. If you roll a 24. Yes. Okay. So I need to, I need him at 20 then. That's not it. But that is 12. That's 12. So yeah, you're just going to like pry this thing's hands off. And yeah, they're pretty brittle. But it's got a surprising amount. He's got a good grip strength.

Yeah, a couple of those fingers I toss into the snow. Don't let him touch you. It's really cold. What else do I have? I think that's an action. Yeah. What, throwing his fingers into the snow? No, no, no, no. The escape of the grapple, I believe is. I think that's my action. Yeah, I'm just trying to see. I already use the bonus action to Dwarven Toughness. So I think. You can't put your shield down. I can. It's a free action. Is it? I'll do that. Yeah. So I shove it off of me and I plant the shield. And that's my turn. I like the one time you didn't get to do that. I'm not a shit.

Yeah. I even got a good initiative too. Yeah. He just got lucky. This other white. Uh, well, it's going to run right up here to Kymir. Oh, hell. To do the same damn thing. Let's go. Oof, way worse. Nine. Nine. I know that's surprisingly that that doesn't hit oh that's good good you deserve to break after after everything uh wait hang on the I want I want to do I want to do something uh as a reaction sure I'm going to do arcane repost which you can take with it when a creature makes a melee attack against you okay so it doesn't need to hit it just needs to be an attack.

So yeah, it comes like shambling over and chimera just kind of like goes, ugh. These, uh, the shadowy claws sort of come out and just sort of like swipe out at it. Let's see. Uh, 20 hits. 20 hits. All right. That is 10 damage. You have bloodied it. Oh, good. This is the one with its throat torn out. Oh, right. Well, it tears out some more throat. Cool. And the white next to that. Yeah, that's just a reaction. The white next to that's going to run right up to night there. Same thing. They have a, uh, they have a game plan. Ah, just hits. Uh, 14. Well, that's not too bad.

So 10 slashing damage, and it's going to do the same thing, but it's just kind of barely got you. So that cold is just, it's just starting. You can feel it. So that's just going to be one cold damage. Okay. So I'm grappled, though. You are grappled. Yes. Kimmer, you are up. Oh, shit. Okay. Uh, blah, blah. I am going to cast a spell. Camira claps his hands together and brings them apart. And as he does so, a large sphere of flame licks and bursts like the birth of a birth of a son in front of him between him and this white. And he sort of flicks his arms around and pushes it in between. pushes it at this white.

And it sort of like lands in between the two of them. But it's going to crash into this white that's in front of him first. So we can't. Oh, that's not great. Okay, so he's got to make a dexterity saving throw for that. See? Fuck for one. Nice. Does that do it? This is. Yeah, that does it. Four damage. And then I don't know if you can see this, but that sphere ends its movement right there. So that's where it's going to be. And then as a bonus action, I am going to use a little feature called rapid escape. And Kamera is going to run away. Run, run, run, run away.

Get behind me. Yeah, behind Nethera. whoop. I've got your back. I see you're getting a hug, but we'll take care of that. And that's my turn. Oh, cool. I love it. Perfect. Yay. There's a little bit for listeners, Jason put a little fireball in on the map. It looks really cool. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Theory, you are up. Okay. So I am going to use. maneuver plexing flurry. I have black blade on my assassin's gauntlet as I she does every day. She gets ready. She eats breakfast. She poisons her blades. I thought there's no TSA in theory. Like that, that would be real slow travel for you.

And with chimera at her back, I get to get sneak attack. So yay, come here. Thanks. Oh, wow. So I'm going to do lots of things, hopefully. So it is with disadvantage. Okay. Okay. Okay. Unless you have some sort of escape or anything like that. You are a rogue. I don't know. I don't think I have a disengaged, but that I want to get me out of the grapple. Yeah. Sure. I don't want to waste my action not. attacking it. Sure. Sounds absurd. Oh. Shit, shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry. Roll one more. You're fine. I'm so sorry. I let you down, Jason. Not really. Both hit even though that's so, that's 12 piercing damage.

And I believe you said you have sneak attack. Yes. That's added in there. Oh. And Carver. Thank you. Okay. And that's the first attack. So perplexing Fleury gives me another attack. I'll do this one with disadvantage. Oh my God. Okay, 19 still hits. So while this thing, while this thing is choking you, you are just going underneath with this blade like just stabbing up into him. There's a black blade damage. Oh my God. So okay, 12 piercing damage, 14 piercing damage, and another 12 piercing damage. Yes. And then Nighteira is going to use her offhand attack. Oh my God.

Okay. Just don't stop. Just don't stop. So love rogues. It had full health. Now it's beyond bloodied and barely you can feel its grip like. Yeah. Yeah. because I and it would usually be a bonus action to activate the mind blade but I already had it activated because I was going to run and grab nice here or grab nice here grab chimera with both blades out so they were both already activated activate the mind blade was my third favorite nine inch nails album I mean yeah it's not as good as a first dude no no no it's got a good tracks but they're real deep in there yeah The guest spot by 311 was a little weird though.

The other end thing where crazy town just jumped on a track. It was real weird. I mean, I like an experimental album as much as anybody. Sometimes you get the Johnny Cash collaboration. Sometimes you get crazy town. Yeah, sometimes you get the rock rock rap era that happened. Oh, yeah. Like 99. And we can just all collectively forget that as a culture, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God damn it! Jesus Christ! So even though you're rolling with disadvantage every time, we needed to get you out of the city. So 15 still hits this thing, and that is 32 psychic damage. It, its head is going to burst right in front of you.

Like it is... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no. Tell me. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Okay. So purple flames engulf it. And then whatever was in animating it before, these purple flames take place of it. And it lets go of Nigeria because now it's animated all dead and it's under her control. Oh, what? Wait, for long. Do you have a pet? You made that power, Jason. You made it. I know. But like, it's been a pet. It's been a look. So we're covering from Cove. It's been a long month. Look. That's fucking awesome. Okay. I forgot that that was a thing. Oh. So it's engulfed in these purple flames that then vacuum into its eyes and like are light up its own eyes and it slowly lets go of Nizzeris neck and then starts to turn on its other white buddy.

It's got the Cain Hodder Jason Vorhe's like acting like very like very vascular, very like moving with its body. No voice or anything. Can we title this episode, White on White Crime? Can we just can we do that? I think it's essential for the growth of the show. Jasper's the only one who's like, yeah, it's like, I can. I can't. I got a That would type that in. Yeah. It's totally different. Let me roll. Could be the subtitle at least. Yes. Let me roll the 1d4 plus two. And that's how many days, night the error controls this thing. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. How we got a week in that Bernie's going on.

Yeah. Oh, it's only three. Three days. It's three days. Wait a minute. Does this count as a life? Yeah. I don't know either, but we got an experiment. Can a white take a level in? It's dead. It's very dead. Guys, like, it plunges this way of the snow. It's a dead thing. Like, it's moving, but dead. I mean, just technicality. Uh, now, let's say logger went down. Technically, like, you know. I'll finish it. Like, if you got the last, will me to take care of him? Yeah. Just like, just like, just with a pen. Yeah. I'm sorry. I should have thought. about the team. Lodd. Anything else you want to do then?

I just have to do this real quick. I'm very sorry. I'll bring you back. Yeah. I've got to plant, right? I think I'm done. Well, lovely. Jesus Christ. Okay. Round two. Logrid, you're up. Oh my god. You just need a shield. Yeah. Just do 32 damage that's psychic and then control one of these zombies. As my third offhand attack. With disadvantage. Yeah. No, logging. You ever go to like Chuck Echee cheese and there's always the kid with like the ream of tickets. And you're like, how did you do that? Like, that's, yeah. Every combat is that. I'd like the drone. Like, it's just like, like, like, wait, you're gonna give me a drone?

Shit, I should do more damage. Should put knives on it. Don't give her a drone. Yeah, don't poison the drone. Yeah. Poison the drone. All right. Um, so, yeah, Lagerin's just like grumbling the whole time. He's like, these guys fucking suck. They've died here. This is barely a hike for Master Holt. And they're all here giving us a hard time now. Shitty-ass hikers. Just mad at them. So we're going to, first, I'm going to mark foe for the other one, the one that attacked Camara. Yeah, I marked it. Then I'm going to go back. Because he's going to reach back while he's fighting this thing off of him with like with his shield.

He's going to reach back and point at that one and be like, get that one. I got this one. And he's going to hit it with his hammer this time. Oh, okay. So we're going to, well, last time I had to get it stupid. Oh, you're right. Hands off my neck. So we're going to. That was crucial because it did a lot of damage with us. That is crucial. I'm going to get a 23. 11 bludgeoning. Hooray. And we're going to use that to also inspiring leader. Once per round, when you make a successful melee attack roll, you can choose a number of creatures equal to half your charisma modifier.

With you into your commanding presence, that's Ruby. Chosen creatures gain an expertise die on their first attack until the start your next turn. You do not have to attack this one, you just get an expertise die. If you attack the other one, you get two expertise dies. That one's a threat. Okay. So. He got no throat. Yeah. We just sold a bunch of those. He could have used one. Oh, these are dry. These are dry. No good. No good. Dry, dry throats. No good. Like sand bigger, like cat tongues. That's my time, please. Please. He's up. Hey, no throats up. Let's see. He's going to, he's going to, yeah, he's going to move up here and try to attack Uh, logrin.

Same thing. Longsword, I get a D4, but I don't think it's gonna matter. I can't hit you. No, he's- If he had double that, he might not have hit me. That's not true, but close. But it could be, you don't know. Kimer! You're up! Effectively infinite. I said with eight hit points. All right, I'm gonna move this sphere as a bonus act. action and I'm gonna ram it into our good friend no throat. So he's gonna have to make a Dex saving throw one mo again. Oh shit. That might do it. Yeah, that do it. 20. Nice. Yeah. Okay. Well. Good for him. You know. Good for him. Proud of him.

Good job, no throat. Fucking proud. Um, Fuck you. All right, well, uh, so, so, like, this sphere moves in. Aha, but that was just a distraction. He moves out of the way, but Kimer puts his hands together and a doubt of flame. Just explodes out. going where the white was moving to because that's how you do it is you push something there and then you shoot where they're going to move and that's yes space invaders them yeah space invaders yeah so we're going to do a little burning hands at a level one I think he's gonna do another decks saving throw oh oh my god damage not three ones Damage not good.

But, uh... Well... And he's to see a throw with a 20 again. God, so dexterous, so dexterous. What is going on? He's so light now. He doesn't have a throat weighing him down. Don't you understand? He's basically a ninja. Keep on aiming for where his throat used to be. Keep him missing. Damn it! Anything else? No, that's it. I think I'll take a I'll take some movement over here by by Nithera. Okay, that'll be my turn. So you and Nitha are back to back here. Yeah. Ruby, you're up. All right. She's gonna go for no throat just to try to get rid of this thing if she possibly can.

I have tried. Okay, so she is Where she is right now, if she moves away, she's not going to do an opportunity. Yeah, from the one that was strangling, uh, log run. Oh. Hmm. All, fine. She is going to, because your shield is planted, right? You can just do a thumbs up. Yeah. Um, fine. She's just going to spring up onto the shield and come down with a, with a, with a, A strike with her A big old fists on no throat. Which means though, because for that sec, for this one, for no throat, I get two expertise dies, right? Yep. Jameson. Plus coming down from above, which is the shield maneuver, she gets a third.

So you just got a hit now. Here we go. Yeah. It's not going to be a whole lot because it's just an arm strike. Oh, unless I'm tired. It's teeth. No, I'm going to wait. I'm just going to wait. All right. Here we go. That'll hit. 31. That'll hit. She's just going to plow down. It's not much damage, but it's a bit. So it's seven bludging. Whoa. Okay. Shit. Seven though. It's, you rocked it. Like, it's getting to the point now where it's, it's slowing down a little. Yeah, and I think that's going to end her turn. There's nothing. She's going to stay right there. She's going to be with Lager and, you know, with him being fine.

Okay. The one right in front of Nithera is going to swing again. Isn't that the one that one possessed? Oh, that's right. It is. Never mind. I'm so sorry. Drop that. Make me sound like a professional. That one is going to give you a back massage. It reaches out and it's like, you look tense and it's just going to like. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Okay. I'll take one. Attack that other way. Okay. And it is going to choke out his brother. Yay! Oh, yeah, that'll... He... Okay. So he's just kind of like standing there. Kind of like you can see it's body moving. And it is going to like listen to your commitment, just run right over and choke the other one until like this is the one with no throat.

It's just going to collapse in into the spinal column and just pull the rest of it out and kill it. That'll be it. That'll be it. 10 damage. I think it's re-deadding it. Yeah, it's extra dead. Well, shit. Okay. Other white is still going to try to hit. Hang on, I have something. I have something kind of fun, a good news, bad news situation. Yes, please. Please. When the white ends its turn next to the flaming sphere, it does have to make a dexterity saving to work or take damage. So it may not be around. for the full, the full days. 15 save. 15, also very dexterous.

Yeah. Okay. So, this one is going to just try and choke. Logron again. Max. God damn. Oh, 18's not going to do it. 18 would hit a mortal man. But yeah. Nice there. Okay. Nighteara's gonna pat her new buddy on the shoulder. She runs by him. Good job. Killing your brother, crowd of you. Don't be friends with them. One, two, three. I like the idea of this guy just being like, don't I get a hug guy? Like, it's like, back rope. Like every person. Where's my hug? I'm like. Can't we keep him? I've already named him. The worst hiker ever, why? Uh, I'm about to get hit a lot. Oh, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, 16 does hit, but that was a lot of ones. You only did 10 piercing damage. I still have. my off hand. I know. You have that mind blade. Which is pretty awesome. I don't use it more often. You say that every time and then we all forget. It's like, oh yeah, holy shit. Okay. So Nyther runs by Logrin, or pats the white on the shoulder. Good job. And then stabs the other white and then takes out the mind blade. and tries to stop it again. Damn. One, two, one, two, three. So never mind. You know, okay, everyone at home. Sometimes you give a player a thing.

And sometimes, even you aren't expecting. Like, the object may not be crazy. But when it's in the hands of a sociopath, like it does. So 18 does hit. You roll damage. You roll two ones, a two and a three, and did 27 damage. I'm not even sure that works out correctly, but that will kill this thing dead. Hey, Jason. So it engulfs in purple flames and then the flames get sucked into its eyes. And now... You can only have one at a time. No way. I have four charges. Four charges. Well, yeah, you have four charges, but you can only have one at a time. So you could better deal it.

Actually, hold on. Let me read it. Hold on. Let me read it to make sure I may be wrong. Oh, mine made. It regains 1d4 each day. That's insane. Yeah. I thought it was like 1d4. He had four charges ever. No. That's crazy. Casting the spell in this way, reasserts control over up to 4. four of your previously animated undead instead of animating a new one. Yeah, no. You can just have hired goons, I guess. I have to kill them first. Yes. And you're about to go into a meeting and this could be a a poor first impression. No, because Loggerne is going to be like, "We're those your clients.

You're fired. So you're going to stab this one the same way. Purple flames just going to, you know, it's, it's, it's, so it's just, these two things standing here and the fight is going to be over and in the distance, you're going to see, and it's night time, but you are going to see a torch. And you're going to see two very tall horned individuals. I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. And... Isn't that what these dudes who killed the caravan look like? Hmm? Hmm? Isn't that what the guys who killed the caravan that destroyed him? We're looking for the math?

Lots of things have horns. Who knows? Yep, but very tall horned being. We'll find out on Wednesday. What? What? I think that there are a couple of minotores that sound like Canadians. Oh, okay. That's what I'm going to manifest over the next couple days. Okay, you got yourself some dead white there, okay. All right, all right. He just sounds like what are okay. You guys are right. You guys are right.