Let's Get Sticky
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That kind of thing means the world, and it helps us keep the lights on. Of course, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, subscribe, comment, and share. Do all that good algorithm stuff. And without further ado, let's get on with the day's episode. (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) - Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table, starting with Alex. - Hello, I'm Alex. I play K'Nan, Human Warlock. - And Brianna. - Hello, I'm Brianna Marie, and I play Runez, the Thedan Monk and Barbarian.
Mostly Monk. - And Jasper. - Hey everybody, I'm Jasper. I play, excuse me. Oh my gosh, must be that bullet old fashioned cocktail that I've been drinking. (laughing) Start that one over. - Hey everybody, I'm Jasper. - I mean, maybe in the future we'll have that as a sponsor. Like I'll write a letter. (laughing) - Did I just say write a letter? (laughing) - Let's see how that's referencing. (laughing) - All right guys, thanks. - Oh no, no, get back here, get back here. We did this right. We set everything up correctly this time. No, you're not allowed to leave that chair.
- Yeah, you have to stay. - I have to write a letter. (laughing) - Well. - I feel my body dying all around me. - In any case, I am Jasper and I do play a petrichor mulch, the Vanali shaman druid. It's druid, druid. Yeah. - And last and certainly not least Susan. - Hi, I'm Susan. I'll be playing Tamika Fildeham, the shifter sorcerer, well, mage, but that's old, whatever. (laughing) - Good news, bad news. Let's start with all the good news. Okay, now let's move on to bad news. Now the bad news is you guys are very injured in this watery cave. Some of you have many broken appendages, no arms, like no arms, our friend Alex has.
Terry's missing an eye, crushed orbital bone. - We should clarify the arm is still attached to Alex. - No, gone there. Gone, ripped off. - He's floating in the water. - Yeah, no. I said broken, I didn't say broken off. I should have clarified. Yeah, oh yeah. - No, please. - No, no, no. - Professor, my arms, professor. (laughing) - Nah, he's just got jiggle bones right now. So it's pretty rough. You guys are marching basically. You've pulled yourself out of the water thanks to dog and Terry and everybody kind of pulling together here and no one died, no one drowned.
But now begins this arduous march through this wet claustrophobic cave. This reservoir that it looks like they were dumping garbage into or something. They were just, you know, they were kind of like dumping stuff that they weren't using into this hole, including you guys, kind of channels out into this, this thin, almost a corridor. And it's just big enough that you guys could march two by two, but you'd kind of be rubbing shoulders the entire way. - I'm just looking at my notes. I think like right after we fell in, we're like, okay, we can't move. So we bedded down.
- Yeah, that's where you left off as like, you will describe it as like on shore, but where this empties out, you're right next to a corridor that's like thin. So this was like, Terry's hunkered against the wall and like you guys are just getting your bearings. Now, I don't want to be presumptuous, but maybe a short rest is in order? - For sure. - You guys want to take a short- - Maybe a long rest. (laughs) - Let's not be, let's not jump to conclusions. I mean- - Yeah, I think we all were stabilizing the two people who clearly needed stabilizing. - Yeah.
- Which was Kanan and Terry. - Let's kick off by taking a short rest. If you go to the top of your character sheet there, you'll see S rest and L rest. We're going to S rest. - So for the listeners, I rolled an eight. Petra called, rolled a six. Kanan rolled a 12 plus four. So- (laughs) - 16. - I rolled three, I rolled three of my dice. Sorry, I rolled three. - Oh, okay. - 16 total. - And runes rolled a nine. - Nine so far, good. - I'm going to roll a couple here myself. - Oh, I mean, I might as well. - Yeah, I'm going to roll more because Petra rolled a five. - It does a one at a time, so.
- The only problem is we don't get them back till long rests. - Yeah. - Yeah, but- - Yeah, but if it lets me live for now, I'll take all 20 of those points. - All right, so we got, we're back in action at least. - Yeah, I'm a little bit over half. - Let me roll for Terry. One, okay. - Nice, Terry, okay. - And one more. That's a six so far because he has a plus one. - Nice. - And one more. - Oof, that's a one. - Aw. - You know what, that's Terry in a nutshell, that's him. - He's up, he's down, it's yeah, so. - A little bitty sauce, lotta bitty cheese, yeah. - How's dog doing?
- I'm about to roll for dog next and then you guys have a decision to make. - Roll for dog. - 'Cause dog's leveled up and there's a new system I wanted to implement in fucking May, but now we get to do it. - Oh yeah, the hirelings or the buddies or whatever, I forgot what you called them, not hirelings, you called them something like that. - Not hirelings. - That's for munchkin. - So let's talk about dog. Let's talk about dog real quick here. So as you guys level up, dog is also going to get stronger and get more skilled and stuff. And as we level up, you're gonna be offered sometimes two, three, four different options.
So your dog is going to be different than everyone else's dog out there if they continue to level her up. Now the first choice is just binary. It's super simple and it is totally up to you. Obviously, dog is going to level up and get some more hit points here. But dog is subject to roll for hit points just like any of you are. You have two options. We can add an extra die to the damage of dog's bite attack, or dog can have advantage when rolling for their hit points. - Cool. - Advantage, advantage. - Yeah, advantage. - I let Jasper pick. - Tank, dog, tank, dog.
It's still your choice. - I feel like the advantage is fun. And also I don't think of dog as an attack dog. - Mm-hmm. - So I feel like- - Dog's a big fucking tank. - Yeah, but just that's not dog's personality. - And less likely to die. - Yeah. - Yes. - Yeah, just do that. - It's just by nature of being out there, right? I'm not a mean dog, not an attack dog, but if she needs to help defend, the world is showing her, oh, not everyone's cool. - Mm-hmm. - Kids kick me sometimes. - Yeah, they're fucking assholes. So here's what we're gonna do. It's a D6 for dog. So Jasper, I think it's only right that you roll two D6 and we'll take the higher one.
- Oh, sorry, two D6 you said? - Yeah, just roll another one 'cause it's advantage. - There you go. - What was the first one? Well, there are both. Great. There you go. But that's plus one. So that's 13, baby. 13 total hit points now for dog. - Yay. - Dog is almost as strong as I am. (laughing) - What? - Dog's been kicked a lot. - I'm at 31 max. So dog's at half my head. Basically dog's at, it's like half as strong as a human being right now. - And doesn't have broken arms. - And has all their limbs. - If you spent the money, you can get custom armor and stuff for dog.
(gasping) - Jasper nods like he's already thought of that. He's like, oh yeah, he's been saving. - Look, Terry. Terry's gonna hook dog up. (laughing) - Oh, yes he is. - Oh, we have coupons, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, apparently he owes us for this. - We have like a platinum card. (laughing) - Hey, the bank desk for your caved in skull. How about some custom armor? - Speaking of which, you guys are bandaging and just trying to basically just stop the bleeding. There are two people I really want to check in because their injuries are grievous. Terry is one of them just because like his entire eye has just been caved in.
Like he's been holding it the entire time and like until he got healing, it was just wet blood, right? 'Cause it's, you guys are fresh out of the water. So it's that runny, like watered down paint almost. So like the entire time, and now it's healed, but getting healing isn't going to fix his eye. It's gone. Like that's it. So like, it's just, it's painful. It's all scar tissue and messed up now. Like he's like in shock for lack of a better term. And obviously Kanan, like Kanan has two broken arms. What do you do about that? Like, I'm asking, what do you do about that?
(laughing) - Are you asking Kanan? - I'm asking Kanan. - What would you give? - I think Kanan would think back to the, whatever training they got from the White Ravens. Like, "Hey, field dressing, lesson one, how to make a splint or whatever the, whatever the tactic is for when you are injured, like a broken limb, how to keep it steady temporarily." 'Cause he knows he can't fix this. Or he might have been the only one who can fix it because I do have healing magic, but I can't use my magic 'cause my hands is broke. So I think he would try to instruct someone to help him make splints for his arms. 'Cause they are, you know, I can't do it myself.
- Petrichor's got, you know, he's a, roughly a healer. He's got cure wounds and healing word and all sorts of things going on. So he would jump in on whatever. - Okay. - I think all of us have had similar training at least. - Yeah, I think it's something, it's probably something we all took, I would assume in the training course. So he would instruct the petrichor, like, "Please, please help." - I got you, I got you. Just lay back. - So I didn't want to get into this at the end of the last session because so much had happened and it was a feel-good moment.
And I, you know, I'm not one to take one of those away. So I don't appreciate those faces. So what we're going to have to do is set these bones. - Oh no, we've done this before. - Yes. Now, if we check the "Adventures Guide to Theria" volume one, we actually do make a little money on if people buy it. - Whoa, whoa, what? - What's in this book, Jason? - Oh, lots of stuff. Considering we're probably going to touch on a lot of stuff, but we'll let that thing right there. We're going to have to set these bones. And that means a medicine check with a DC of 16 to properly set an arm.
We're going to have to do that twice. And if you properly set it, those arms will be usable again in seven days. - Hooray. - Well, at the very least, you can get it set up, get back to town and hopefully find somebody with some, you know, like we're talking generation up in terms of magic. So usually there's there's some church high level cleric in town, something like that. You can usually purchase there. - Even in the sin free streets of Durinhollow? - Well, it's harder. Don't get me wrong. Aubrey's a better bet. - Sin free now than it used to be. - It's a hell of a lot better bet than in this cave.
- Yes. - Fair. - So I'm going to go ahead and guess someone's assisting petrichor with the with the setting of these bones. OK, so how about we do this? Let's let's let's let's let's do it the fun way. Petrichor, pick an arm right or left. What's your favorite? - Uh. - Actually, so he's going to say. All right, boss, you right or left? He'd remind me. - I'm right handed. - And as he's saying, I'm right handed. He's going to do whatever he's supposed to do to the other one. Right. - So, yeah, it's not. Oh, God, it's not it's not it's basically like right now. It would be worse if more time had passed and the bone had started to set and you've got to break it again.
Nothing like that. But just moving it around is super painful. So basically he's got splints, so he's going to he's kind of mummied up or he looks like he's very cross, like he's just you know what I mean? So can I get a medicine check with advantage? - Sure can. - Oh, OK, that's a 14. OK. That's just that we're just shy. It's not the end of the world. It's still it's good enough right now. It's like, hey, we have to. Oh, boy, I hope we're not down here a week. Let's let's maybe, you know, get get get the other one set up. And for that, we're going to turn to runes to do the other one.
Runes, please. Medicine check. OK, with advantage. Oh, it automatically rolled it instead of asking me if I want to do advantage. So I'm going to roll it again. Oh, it vanishes. Good. No, it was good. OK, sorry. Well, that's fine. That arms in way better shape. That arms, you know, like it's it's maybe he coughed or something during the it's like, oh, like he just he pulled when he shouldn't have. But everything's fine. The one arm's a little a little janky, but the other one set. But the problem is with two set arms, you're not going to be able to use those arms very much now.
I you can use stuff like weapons and things like that, but everything's with a disadvantage. Anything involving your arms is disadvantage. And it is obviously going to make your journey a bit more difficult. So there is one spell that I can do without arms. And it's an old trusted, old trusted friend of mine. It's obviously not Thunderclap. This is the one I can pick up. I can still mock creatures. That sounds perfect. Yeah. We're all fighting. You're just in the background just yelling curses at people. Hell yeah. Bitch, my arms hurt. Can I get a perception check from everyone, please?
The roles are not good tonight to. We're not even we haven't even gotten started. It's fine. You're warming up. You're all. Hey, look at that. Hey, so most of you here specifically. Oh, God. Tamika and Kanan and Dog are going to hear this. Kind of a wet, slappy skitter. Just kind of like it's like something. It almost sounds like a like a flat tire, almost like a big, wet, hairy, flat tire. Like it's a tough it's a weird amalgamation of sounds. But you're going to hear that way down this corridor because everything's kind of got an echo to it. And you're like, OK, I don't like it doesn't necessarily sound intimidating.
It just sounds it's like, OK, there's definitely stuff alive down here. And who wrote the oh, both 16. OK. In the deep water where you guys were. Just out of the corner of your eye, you're going to see something kind of like break the water for just a second. You're going to see like something like and then like those rings radiate like from out and then nothing. I don't think we're going down here. You guys are on dry land for the most part. Like this little corridor has like that the ground kind of slopes down. So there's this thin channel of sludge water that's kind of run off.
But yeah, you're you're pretty much on dry land now. Is it coming from the direction we need to go down or is it coming from deeper in the cab? Well, I can't actually I can't really tell, can I? Because we're deep in the cavern itself. There's no I don't see. There's only one way out of here out of this particular you're in a dead end. So like that there's only one way out and that's this thin corridor. You may get more options later. So for Tamika, you're going to see one of her ears like twitched with the source of the noise. And then you're going to see like she's going to see the ripple and then she'll point her head that way.
And she's never the perceptive one ever. So this is like her time to shine. And then you're going to make eye contact with Kanan. He'll look back and he'll he'll mouth like, what the fuck? Like and make it very unsure face. Well, he's made this face all the time because he's very unsure about everything. Honestly, this day has just been unsure. Yeah. Dog's fur is going to kind of like bristle and like they're going to like going to like hunch down a little bit. She's are not intimidating creatures. You know, you're not like if it's them or a Doberman like it's, you know, you know, so like but but like just kind of this with this poor wet dog who's been through a bunch and it's just kind of like, you know, so definitely knows it's coming from that direction the way you need to leave.
And if this was a cinematic moment, I'd just like to point out that both the dog and Tamika's eyes probably have that shine that dogs have in the darkness. Just like looking straight at this thing. Terry's going to lean back against like the the cavern wall, and this is kind of like like a half pipe ramp the way that the cavern this passageway is, and he's going to use it to kind of like stand up, but very much still holding his eye. And he's gonna he's gonna start to try and like tug bits and pieces of this heavy armor off. Because it's been more of a burden than a help.
And he's just, I think the best way to put it is like he's just kind of done. Like, it's like okay I've had enough today like this is fucked. Like I this. This is not normal, Terry. This is not how adventurers life successful adventure. Don't live this way. Disturb the career path, please. So the poor guy's got a broken arm, a caved in eye socket. And like, he's kind of alternating between like just trying to like shrug pieces of, you know, so it'll be like a few minutes of him like taking bits and pieces of this heavy armor off but he'll get down to like, you know, just like cloth, basically, he's done.
And then runes would kind of like approach and reach out like he wants to help but also like he's kind of nervous to even touch Terry because he's so fucked up. But he'll be there to like help if Terry needs it while he's taking off the armor, because, yeah, he definitely wouldn't like shaking anyone away or anything like that like you guys didn't do anything it's more just like look we got to get out of here. Sitting, sitting in this wet ass cave it's like okay, you don't need to be a seasoned adventure or a skilled traveler to know it's like this is not an advantageous position, this this whole thing.
This, this is pretty much as bad as it can get in terms of being left in the middle of nowhere. So yeah, he's just trying to it's like okay what will help me travel faster. These are tight corridors. This is heavy armor by so just chunk bits and pieces of this just being tossed in, you know, on the ground. I guess, if we're all in a condition to walk I think in on with, even with his broken arms would step forward and say, we have to get out of here we can't sit in here. And he's going to look towards Tamika, and then back towards the water and say, I didn't really catch how big it was but do you think it's large enough to stop us from getting out of here.
I, I don't know. I just saw a glimpse of it, probably just the same Mount you saw. They'll not. Okay. And like you'll try to rub his chin, but then he'll remember he can't move his hands, they can't move his arms. And I look to petrichor. I say, I think we need to make it break for it. And then back to ruins. And I think we could really use your help for this one ruins. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I think we could really use your help for this one ruins. I mean, I think we could really use your help for this one ruins. I mean, I think we could really use your help for this one ruins.
I mean, he doesn't know what else to tell the guy. He doesn't want to ruin his dream, but at the same time, he wants to be realistic. And again, he's not mad at anybody in the party. It's more just like, yeah, it's just like he's just kind of like, let's just get going. Let's like, he's almost in denial about like, it's like, oh, if we get out of this cave, my eye will be all right. Like, he's not thinking clearly like he's just it's like, we got to get out of here. We got to get it. So he's just kind of like sort of repeating that off and on every once in a while.
So he's just kind of like nodding. But like, he'll have a he'll like his his. His, you know, fractured like the broken arm, like he'll kind of put on your shoulder to kind of like guide him again. The sad thing is you have two broken arms. Yeah. I like that. I mean, I mean that weird like straw man kind of get up the arms akimbo like, yeah, they have the support. And you can see one is like made from like an untrimmed large sticks that have not been shaved or anything like large, just like thick tree branches that maybe petrichor grew to put under there.
And the other one is like runes using fine like wood. They managed to snap some wood and pieces and make it look a little bit more presentable. So it's two different styles of supports doing this. They're both doing the same thing, essentially. But it's just like they don't match. They're just way off. So he's just with these weird supports under his arms. So, yeah, I look to ruins and say, OK, I it's a lot to ask, but I need you to cover us on the part that's facing the water, if you don't mind. And runes will nod and kind of move to the side like. The vibe of like, you know, when a parent is like walking their kid to the bus stop and they're like, you go on the inside path like that's kind of the vibe is like, yeah, OK.
That's if that's where I need to be. Yeah, so that's why we envision it. It sounds like we kind of got a little Mines of Moria entrance thing here where, like some people are are facing the path forward and then some people are like, like kind of watching the rear in case tentacles show up. Yeah. And then he'll look to look to the rest of the party and basically say, if you guys have anything left, I think now would be the time to use it if we get into some dangerous situations. And he'll like he'll try and point himself. I don't have I don't have anything left myself.
And as an aside, just as runes is pushing everyone like towards the center to me, go grab burns his hand and like, don't worry, I got your back and just like squeeze his hand and then just like look towards the water with runes. And he'll squeeze back and let her be like he still kind of wants to be a little bit in front of her, too. But yeah, only because she's not because people do we have dark vision, everybody? I mean, I know you do petrichor. Do you have it? I don't believe so. No, I don't give creatures. They didn't have it. Then either you don't have it either.
No, only the googly eyes have dark vision. Am I the only one with dark vision? That is not the usual party makeup. Most people usually it's like, yeah, everyone's got dark vision. Dogs got dark vision. So not to take not to play too much tactics here, but runes is on the side facing the water with Tamika, right? Or at least close by. That means petrichor, if you don't mind shepherding us through this place. I was about to ask, who's our point man? I mean, you have Dog with you, too. And I think Dog has a better sense of direction in these situations than we would.
So yeah, petrichor would just make sense to lead the charge going down wherever we need to go. Dog is going to stay close as much as petrichor can, you know, command Dog. Like, you know, go on a little bit or something like that, you know, scout ahead. But not much. It's not like Dog go check down the corridor and come back and tell us what's going on. But more like, I imagine if we were to be walking that Dog would be doing that sort of zigzag back and forth and sniffing and sniffing and sniffing and sniffing and sniffing, but not too far away. But yeah, I got you.
All right, let's make our way. Can Anuil say, do you want me to give you a little light? Because that's one of the only things I can do. I sure wouldn't complain about that. Okay, and you have like a staff, right? Yeah. Okay, then with my voice and the little bit of material that I'm going to ask petrichor to get out of my little utility pouch. I'm going to ask him to put in one of my hands and we'll put it in my hand and I'll cast my spell for light on the end of his staff. I just pictures like, ow. We have a dim light. We have a bright light for 20 feet radius and dim light 20 feet after that.
Oh, that's going to be invaluable. Okay, let's talk about travel die. Now, in a situation like this, the overworld map doesn't concern us. Travel die rules are still pretty much the same, though. For every value value you go up, it's a half hour of travel. So right now you roll a D4 and you know, that's 30 minutes. Every die value you go up. I can't tell you in a situation like this how much time you have down here, but I will be giving you options. Those options, you know, routes to take and stuff like that. Those options are going to either add or take away time.
I know, I love it too. I'd say it seems mechanically I love it, but as a player, it's like, fuck. That's evil, evil. I love it. Let's go. All right. I like these mind games you're playing. That's fun. You didn't think you were just going to walk? Karen would take the highest. She's right away. Oh, yeah. We'll do the D20. D100, let's go. Let me cut you a deal, Karen. Then I'd own her house. That's how it usually works. Karen's lost like six characters. Let's not go off what she does. Yeah, but she broke the record with Captain Grey. She's playing one in hell right now because of how dead her character is.
Jasper, how are you feeling about the situation? Of course, you can feel free to talk to the group about it. Now, the way this works, let's say you pick a higher die value, right? You get all that time simulated. So I'll be asking you guys, oh, right or left, something like that in case if it's something small. If there's a bunch of different options, I'll give you a chance to kind of suss things out. And then I'll tell you, oh, we're adding this much time. We're taking away this much time because of this. So, you know, we've been through a lot. You have.
And it's really bad. The situation has not been this bad probably since before we started the White Ravens in our training. However, high roles are really fun. You know, high risk, high reward. I'm leaning towards. Going up there, but I don't know what everybody else thinks here. Here's the thing. I think it sounded like a joke earlier. When we're not on the overworld map in situations like this, D100s are an option. I'm not that I don't think I'm that. No, no, no, I'm just letting you know what your options are. I think everyone should know, you know. I'm on the D12 side of things.
Okay. No, I was on the D10. Yeah. Okay, wait. That's fine. I get it. As we size up. The rewards also increase, correct? They do. Yeah. So imagine like rolling like a 65 on a D100. That's pretty good, right? What if we buy 50 lotto tickets? Yeah, you're right. I'm over here like, yeah, all Karen's characters are dead, but also what if we got like a 75? That'd be really good, right? True. What's the threshold for bad on a D100? Oh, it's 50/50, baby. 50/50, yeah. Yeah. Wow, you hear that noise? All right. I feel like, you know, the average between a D10 and D100 is a D12.
Mathematically. Yeah. Logically. Uh-huh. Yes. We use science for this. Couple numbers missing in there, but yeah, I'll go with it. I feel like I'm D12. Okay. But I also don't want to make that decision. I know if anybody's absolutely object. No, no, I'm really glad you're making the decision. I trust in you fully. You are, this is all up to you, Jasper. Yeah, you're the trailblazer right now. Plus, I already broke my arms. I only got two legs and a neck left, so. That's true. I've had some bad rolls tonight, though. But that means you're due for a good roll. Exactly.
All right, let me get, all right. I'm just going to do it. Do it. D12. Start second passing. I'm really sorry, everybody, when this turns out bad. No, it's going to be great. Fucking amazing. Let's go. Nine. That's above average. Yay. That is above a six. So the trek begins. This is a sad trudge, as you can imagine. Like you're, you know, these wet boots clomping down this rocky passageway. And you got people kind of hanging onto each other. You know for a fact, like you could see this light kind of bobbing and stuff. So like every once in a while, you're just like, you know, someone's like watching the corridors behind the passageway behind you, coming up just to make sure that there's nothing to jump at you along the way.
You're going to start to see some stuff. There is a kind of a phosphorus and algae that's built up. It's like a pale green, but it is definitely glowing like it is like if you cover the light from your staff for just a second, it's like, oh, you know, there's like 80s glow in the dark T-shirts. Like you got a Thundercats fucking like T-shirt thing. Yeah, like that, like that strong. Like it's not very bright. It's just like, oh, cool. You know, like but there's probably like it's like, oh, is that like radioactive? Is that what's right? But it's, you know, I feel like petrichor would have a decent chance to kind of like suss it out.
I think. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Please. I was going to say I was going to actually ask it would petrichor be able to know more about it or be interested in it? Please give me please give me a nature with advantage, sir. Do do do do. Oh, wow. Six. I am bad rolls tonight. Oh, no, no, no. Hold on. No, no, no. You did the nine when it counted like that's like that one in three. Well, that's a that's a one. We'll drop the one to take a three. So six total. I'll take it as look. He probably would. But right now he's his he's been rattled. So like as you're you're kind of checking this out and like it doesn't it doesn't seem to like.
Like it by itself doesn't seem to be dangerous or anything, but like it also it hasn't appeared naturally anywhere, you know, of like you haven't seen it. So like it's kind of like it's like that's huh. So you might even take like a little sample of it or something that just kind of like, oh, man, let me let me study this. Who knows what's in there? You're going to see rats. And it'll probably be two or three off and on. But the thing about these rats are their skulls are completely exposed. So it's just brain like you're you're seeing them. Yeah. Skull or brain?
No, no, no. So like this portion of their skull. It's it's concave so you can see their brain and their skull is cradling of the brain. So there's like a couple of like bony tendrils holding the brain in. But what would that happen? This is God's mistake here. We all die. And man was not involved. So so you're going to see them run by and you've seen rats before. Obviously, if you've done any city living or something like that, these rats are probably about one and a half times the size of a good like that. This is like a good six or seven pound rat like it looks like.
And they're going to stop and like look at you like and kind of like and then wander by like they're not running from you. Yes. Bree, please. OK, so first question and a very important question. Do these rats look like, oh, this is just how their species evolved to become or does it look like, oh, there's something horrible in here that's doing body horror experiments on creatures? Because. Oh, like the second one says the character with a mouth in its chest. That was part of God's plan. You might not like it. Can I get a nature check? Just a just a regular old nature check.
OK. Oh, 17. I know a lot about rats. I have a friend who's really into rats. It's true. Yeah, you do. I do. He's a cool guy. These do not appear to be natural. Like it's not like you don't know of anything like that. It's like you don't. It's like that's that's really that's really fucking weird. Like, I don't know. So this looks like something that was done to these rats, not not maybe not purposefully, but like maybe something. You know what I mean? Like that would be your guess if you had to like if the conspiracy theory portion of your brain went off and you're just like that a natural man game over like you.
You know what I mean? Like, you're just like that's most of Brianna's brain. This is supposed to be calmer, but like Brianna's immediately panicking and she hates this and wants to leave now. You guys are going to travel for an hour and a half, basically like this. And you're going to see stuff like I got cast light again then. Yeah. And you're going to see stuff like off and on. That's just it's like, OK, that's fucking weird. You're going to see like big, thick spider webs. When I say thick, I mean, they look, you know, believe. It's like you making this hand move.
It was involuntary. God stop it. Fucking New York. No, it's so like it looks like yarn, like it's thick, like it look like and all your yarn heads out there. I don't know what grade of yarn standard yarn like yarn. You know what I mean? Like, you know, that's I think a lot of yarn people are really upset with you right now. Because you're going to get so much so many emails. Start apologize. A lot about or not at all. Yeah, no. OK, well, I'll start apologizing to Lisa and work my way down. Get to Natasha next and then. Your priorities are in order. Yeah, you don't want her mad.
I mean, the people who could yell at me are the first ones I apologize to. That's after about an hour and a half, you guys are going to reach a point where the path kind of splits up into three different directions. And there's there's kind of a there's a bit to the right where it just kind of it looks like the corridor just kind of breaks off and it's pretty much more of the same. You're going to it's wet and kind of clumpy and it's about like not quite ankle deep water, like it's right around the soles of your boots, but every once in a while it gets higher or lower.
And that pretty much continues on. And the left path appears to go down like probably like like 40 degrees, something like that. It slopes down and then there's a passage near the middle that isn't so much a passage, but like. It looks like a hole you can climb up into and it looks like there's like you shine a light and it's like. OK, it does go somewhere and it looks like it's big enough for us to fit inside. Now, I will say before you choose anything. Dog stops near that left hand side, the one that's sloping down and just freezes like locks in place and it's like just like gurring down that left.
Go the other way. Yeah, not that one. Not that one. Not that one. I trust dog more than I trust myself. Same same same same. Dog's a better leader than me, so we listen to dog. That's right. And dog we trust. Because I was just about to say left looks good. It looks downhill, it looks easy. We can slide without a walk. Our legs are rest. Like a dog like grabs your sleeve. It's like. All right. I have really bad perception, but I have dark vision. So should I look down the other two? Oh. No one else can say what they see. It's just dog and I. You're right. That's all broken arms and bad communication here.
I'm going to look down the other two and I'm probably not going to shake because. Oh, wait, Jason. Hey, I've been in the last two things. It's true. She's been in the live shows and we said that she was going to plus one. I've been in last two. Yep. I think if you're ever going to use it, I think now would be the time. Right. Plus one for attendance for coming to our live shows, which are at Saturday 4 p.m. EST. Oh, petrichor is going to say you won't take a look. Take a look. Just be careful. He's going to put his hand on your shoulder when he has he says it.
He's going to cast guidance. Because, you know, I suck at looking at things like I know you're really bad at this somehow. I don't know how, but you're bad at looking. I like to think it's because she's shorter. So like, yeah, yeah, I mean, like he picks her up a little bit. Yeah. Also, maybe he makes a hair out of her eyes because she has like a lot of hair and she just keeps it all in her face all the time. Do you want to try and climb up into the weird like that or just look up? OK, so many is one of my plus ones for each of them to look down like up and then look through the other tunnel, the right tunnel and up the middle one.
That sounds exceedingly fair. Please give me a perception check. But I've guidance to what's my guidance. You roll a d4 and then add it to your ability score at roll to your roll. Three for the four to both. I don't know how to add that, but I think we could do the math. We could do that math. We can do plus four in our minds. OK, so up the tunnel. The first one. OK, so you're crawling up into that kind of crawl space area. Nice. Ooh, 16. So you're you're going to look. So what it looks like. Is it's really tight to get in there at first, like you don't really have too much of a problem, but like you're you're kind of like you're kind of like shimmying in there.
And then it starts to like snake its way up a bit, like 30, 35 degrees, something like that. But it's what I would harken it to is like crawling through ductwork. Something like a diehard or something like that, where you're watching a character climb through ductwork. It is tight. It is hands and knees and it goes on for a while. Like you can like from what you can see, it's like, yeah, it goes on for like, I don't know, at least several dozen feet because I can't see the end of it quite. But yeah, that you don't see anything lethal in there. I don't think Boss or or Terry, you'll be able to get through here because it definitely requires arms.
Sorry. It is a hindrance. Those damn arms. Yeah. And then the other one. Oh, shit. 22. The other one again just looks like more of the same. There's nothing there that strikes you as particularly easier or harder. You see some more of that phosphorescent like that algae type stuff. You can see it kind of skimming along the top of the water. You can see it. If anything, it looks like maybe it's if like you were in Photoshop and you were messing around with one of the brushes, like you're going a little hog wild on some of it. Like it's like, OK, that's a little more like you too much.
Let's undo. But like whoever did that, you just kind of like let it go. So like it's a little brighter in some spots. You didn't see any of it in the in the tighter crawlspace one. And you have no idea what's on the left hand side sloping down. This this tunnel is just a lot of what we've been doing. So a dog dog seems to be opposed to the left one. And we can't get through the one going straight up because arms and this one's the same. So I don't see anything out of place on this one. It's it may be a little brighter, actually. We're not going left. Good.
Good girl. He's going to pet dog. Some tells me we got hang on. Do we have any rope? He's going to look at Terry and Canan. I mean, there's right. Yeah, I have. I have rope. I have 50 feet of hempen rope. Say same. I mean, maybe the tinderbox one of us could climb up this one. I mean, it's it's a tight fit. I'm just thinking, you know, we could keep going that way and he's going to be kind of putting his hand out like. Straight or he's going to put his hand up or we may be just able to go right on up. That's what I wish we could do because I want out of here.
I don't know if you all notice, but it doesn't doesn't smell too good down here. So I want out as soon as we can. But it's going to be tough for everybody. I mean, it's not a tight fit for me. So maybe I should I mean, for you all, it's it's small, but I could do it. Yeah, but it doesn't like that idea. He's going to shake his head. Canan nuts. Yeah. Separating isn't a good idea. I would agree. I mean, I have this I have the spell that I think I think I could do. And then. I'm just going to do it. And then and then it goes invisible. I'm just going to do it. I mean, then no one could see me.
You hear her saying this, but you can't see her. I mean, can you get. Oh, my God, it worked right. A lot. If you meant to turn invisible than you. I don't know what you meant to do. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm just going to reach out. I'm trying to find where she was. If you looked at all so. Like crawling up there, immediately relieved to when you're not gone. OK, so I could do that now. Cool. I'm going to go check what's up there and then no one can see me. Right. You guys can't see me. So no one else can steps in front of the hole, the middle hole and says, well, before you go running off.
Things in this cave don't rely on sight, I don't think. Right. Oh, I got something else for that. And then and then present a notation. I'm going to make all my smell disappear. Oh, my smells. Just go. I smell my smells. Well, Tamika, look, I don't want to burst your bubble, but and and he looks at petrichor. Correct me if I'm wrong. Petrichor. This algae stuff doesn't smell like anything weird, right? He's going to shrug. Oh, sorry. I always every time someone talks to petrichor for a second, I think it's ruined. I don't know why I do that. And I apologize. It's happened multiple times.
You can play petrichor if you prefer. I can't do a southern accent. No one wants to hear that. I would like to hear that. Do it. Look, this doesn't smell like much of anything and I don't even know what it is, to be honest. Look, we don't have a whole lot of options. No, we just don't have a lot of options here. Right. Tamika, if you if you want to do this, obviously, I can't stop you. And like he looks at his arms and I wouldn't try to stop you anyways. But it's safe to say things in here. Probably look for vibrations. And I'm just basing that off what we've seen so far.
Sight. I mean, the only thing that makes light is these little this algae mold stuff around here. But, you know, gods, I'm hoping to gods that this stuff isn't getting into our lungs or affecting our brain or something. So it only those rats. But just be very careful up there. We can't really do much for you if you get stranded up there or something grabs you. Hey, uh, ruins. Give me that rope yours. He will do so. And he'll he'll he'll make like a little loop, like a and he'll he'll. Hand it over to wherever he thinks to make a might be, which is probably completely in the wrong direction.
And then just wear this tournament the right way and like, just put this around your waist, just in case. Sure thing. And then she'll like salute towards Canaan, but he won't see it. Yeah, we don't see it. Anyways, so everybody just sees this rope start moving. It's like those those old like fake invisible dog things that you'd see. Oh, yeah. And then and then everyone's going to see for a moment the rope move towards ruins and then ruins is going to feel arms wrap around him for a second. And then she's going to scurry towards the whole. I was going to ask how realistic it would be that ruins could follow her, but like, because he's very thin, but he's also very long.
You know, I don't think you could do it. I'm not sure. I feel like you'd fit, but then it'd end up being like those weird, scary cave diving. Yeah, it would be like a descent. I don't want to. So Tamika is going to crawl up in here and you're just kind of like you're just trying to get to a point where you can maybe see an end or see like what's. Yeah. So you're going to get like 10, 20, 30, 40 feet. And then you're just kind of like just just like crawling around in here and the one really noticeable thing again, you know that algae, but you are going to feel like a like a slimy substance kind of like it's kind of wet.
And what it may just be is like trapped moisture over like just kind of over there like it's constantly kind of mildewy and just, you know, but it definitely does feel a little viscous. And since you're crawling upward. As you place your hands down like you can almost feel a current like it's running through your fingers a little bit like you can feel it. And as you're crawling up. It's a it's get it gets a little sticky here and there. So like while you're crawling and you lift your hands up it's you hear that like, like kind of a suction he like a little, you know, and then it'll kind of dissipate.
And then like I imagined, it's like, you just kind of like wipe that off. And you're going to notice a lot of it's bunched up by your knees like very, like very kind of sloshy and stuff. And you're, you're like a media hundred feet. So like the rope has to have been either let go of or, you know, like just probably a holler back. It's like, okay, nothing yet. But you're getting to the point now where you're gonna have to make a judgment call. Right. Can I get a perception check from you? I still have plus three. How long does it last? I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news.
No, it's just one ability check. Okay. Oh, this whole one. 12. 12 is good. 12 is good. So it's real dark in here, but you have dark vision. So that's not a big deal. The sliminess you could definitely do without. And you're going to smell like a. It's kind of a tangy, like a, like a tangy smell, kind of like a man kind of like spicy mustard, like mixed with like a very earthy, like mud kind of smell. And you're going to catch like a whiff of it, like every third breath. It's just like, like that. That's a little weird. And along the sides, you're the you're going to see where some of this liquid's coming from.
And there are these little pustules. And it looks like they're almost breathing on the side of. I'm going to turn around. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So just kind of like shimmying back after that. Yeah, because here's my thought process on it. And if we're the listeners, we are taught to be a group, we are a unit. And if my rope is running out and then I am encountering something I'm unfamiliar with, we are like we were taught to reconfigure, like get back together and then figure out how to go forward. Okay. Which is why I'm going to go back down. That's how we were taught for eight weeks.
That was drove into us. Sure. They lost too many ravens before. I cannot stress this enough. Trash goes in a trash can. So the good news is like it's a little sticky going back until you get to the slick part of it. And then you just you just pop right out of that thing. Just so you are coded like the front of you is just coded in this like big kind of like sticky strands of this. And when you actually get to see like light again, you're going to see that it has like a like a like a kind of like a pinkish greenish swirl to it. It looks like a really off color mucus type of thing.
I would like to point out that she's invisible so they just see this pinkish thing. It's like a little gooey invisible Tamika. Yeah. Prestidigitation. It's gone. Wait before it before like it if Petrichor saw you coming out of there, would he have recognized could he could he nature check? I mean, this is his domain in a way. I'd love to see if he understood if this is something that he'd never seen before and just simply doesn't exist. He's like this is not natural. Normal advantage. Just normal. Give me normal. There we go. 13. Petrichor actually does know a bit about this.
So in exceedingly damp areas, you'll have really aggressive fungi. Build up kind of kind of a poisonous gas. So not only will they burst clean in your face, but they also cover you with that sticky goo, which has been known to attract much larger critters that. Yeah. Prestidigitation for real. So if he told you that, it's like, hey, guess what? So, yeah, that that's that's. Yeah. Hey, clean your clothes right now. Get it off. Go, go, go, go, go. And then he'll explain whatever the name of it would be or whatever, probably whatever they called it back in the Silver Glade.
They probably have a name for it or something like that. So Tomiko will turn back visible and then like, oh, gosh, and then like do a snap and then get this off and then because it's voice and somatic and then it disappears. Abracadabra, get the fuck off me. And on looks on jealously as he tries to snap his fingers in his hand. All right. Well, looks like that may not have been the right way to go, but thank you for trying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't I think maybe we should stick to the one that looks like the one we've been going down. Onward. Kanan, you got you got a little light for me.
Yeah. And then he'll say, I need you to get more of that material out of my pocket, please. Yep. By now he knows the drill and I put it in my hand, I crunch it up. And then as we're walking, I cannot say to the group, well, I guess now we know how things eat in here based off of the the spore essay we got a little earlier. So that's good to know. Nobody touch whatever that thing look like to me. I think you're going to have to point it out for us if we see it down here. Well, in the dark, it just looked like clear, sticky stuff. So just don't touch anything.
OK, ever. The last day is the same. Got it. So it sounds like we're picking the path to the right. Yeah. OK. For fun, when you guys make a decision like this, let's lock it in. And then I'll tell you about one of the other paths you can tell me which one. It's like, hey, out of curiosity, and I'll tell you all about it. Do we want to find out about dog or the weird fun guy? I vote my vote is dog because the fungus. I feel like we got it. We got enough. We got a bead on that. Yeah. I want a dog. So the path to the left was going to add three hours to your journey.
And it was straight up Cronenbergian. You don't want it like, oh, thank God we missed it. Oh, yeah. You don't want it. Dog is like, fuck that. Like, no, dude. Whatever standards got way more legs than it should. Thank you, dog. And I don't want to go down there. Yeah, I was gonna say that's more of it's like a sounds like a more of Bree's fear right now. Yeah. Well, I think it's time for someone else. To give me a travel die. And it can go up to D100 or down to a D2. It's such a distracting flip a coin. Yeah. What are we thinking? First of all, I think it's Bree's turn.
No. Wasn't a question happily sitting in the background. I know which is why you've been called upon. This is bullshit. Your time is now, Bree. Look, here's the thing. Jasper just went. Both Alex's arms are broken. Susan got sticky. Like, it's your turn. Ew. I'm sorry. I don't know. How would you describe that? You did. That's my personal business. Let's talk about. Pippin looked sad, so I'm gonna pick him up. Our HR manager. What do you think I should roll? W.W.P.D. What would Pippin do? T4! How high can Pippin count? Let's see. He was scared of a tiny inflatable snowman earlier.
He was. He was so frightened. He barked at it and ran away. Rudy's been afraid of those. The inflatable ones or something about them? It's like they're breathing. Yeah, it's terrifying. And then they kind of move a little bit. I kind of get that. The unpredictability of their movements, I think, is a big one, too. Because it's just like it was laying there. It didn't move. It didn't move at all. No. OK. So. We got nine last time. And that ate up like three and a half hours, you said, right? No, about an hour and a half. Yeah. And a half. Yeah, that was wishful thinking.
OK, so, Brie, I am thinking for you because you want to play it a little more cautious. Thinking D6. How do you feel about it? Well, you're right, D6. All right, let's go. OK. Wow. I was just thinking really quickly if you could send me a hundred dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. All right. Seriously, I don't want to be down here for much longer is the thing, because every time we have to roll, there's a chance we'll roll low. True. At least if we roll a D12. We might get out of here faster. Same for D20 or even D100. You know, Alex wanted a D10 earlier, so maybe you should follow what Alex wants.
As a leader. I'm just trying to blame every I'm trying to help everybody. I don't know, Brie, you seem to really like the idea of a D100. What if you're the hero that gets everybody out of here? What if I'm the one who kills Terry? That is another possibility. I'll make a deal on your behalf, Brie, if you'd like. Doesn't Jason offer me a deal? I'm offering him a deal. No, it's not. I can't do it. I can only offer you the good side of it. I can't over the bad side. The good side was going to be D100. If it's a hundred, we make our way to Esther Holt. That's true.
We actually come out in Esther Holt. Like Mario, Mario or Piper. It's too much. It's too much. On a D100. Yeah, I could fast track you guys. I'll let you skip a majority of the divide. And then heal all the injuries. No matter what I roll on the D100. No. Okay, roll the 100. All right. I thought that was a deal, maybe. All right. Okay. Let's do this. Let's say you do a D100 on a 90 through 100. I'm going to do something incredibly advantageous. Like, like we're talking the rare break of sunshine through the clouds that your group so desperately needs. Can. Susan. I was going to say, can I have a addendum?
Please. Bree has been in the last two live episodes and I know that's a plus one, but this is, if she does a D100, it could be plus five. I I'll, I'll do this. If you roll a plus one. Okay. If you roll, let's say a D100. You can't add anything to the travel diet itself, but I will let you roll advantage on one roll of, you know, not, not the D100, but anything after that. Okay. However, if you roll a one through 10, I'm going to throw the most nightmarish skin crawling, body rejecting shit I can at this party. All right. So I just like to point out what you just told me is the rules for the D100, but you made it worse for me specifically.
That's the new deal. It's like, oh, it's going to be really Cronin-Borgian if it's between one and 10, that thing you were upset about. Yes. That's got a penalty, but you also get advantage and you know, you. Yeah. Right. But like all like D100 is already going to be a disastrously horrible thing or really awesome thing. That's what the D100 is for. Right. But that's part of the, this is tailored to you because it's your deal. Okay. I'm going to just roll it. I'm going to do it. I think. Okay. Let's do it. I love it. I'm here for it. I'm crossing all my fingers for you.
One second. I need. You know what? How about we grab a drink? Hit the bathroom. Come on back. Like we'll fucking like get a drink of water. Grab a little bit of that bullet. Old fashioned cocktail. Pre-mixed. Already made? Pre-mixed for you. I can't go to the bathroom because I'm too nervous. Neither can I. I lit some incense for good luck. Okay. All right. We didn't really take a break. We were all just like. I can't. All right. Here we go. Let's do it. Break. Come on. Okay. It rolled with advantage. No, it didn't. It didn't. Holy shit. That's a 90. Ladies and gentlemen. What was your promise, Jason?
I'm going to give you guys something incredibly advantageous. Chocolate. Because that's what you get. I'm going to give it to dog. No. Monkey. Motherfucker. I know. No, no, no. Fucking congratulations. So here's. So here's what's going to happen. I didn't ruin everything. This is great. I believed in you the entire time. No, no, no. This is good. So you guys were all like, I'm going to give you a little bit of chocolate. I'm going to give you a little bit of chocolate. You guys are going to see a lot of messed up stuff down here as you travel. And you're starting to link up.
It's like, okay, the thicker this algae stuff gets the worse. The worse these creatures have been kind of messed with. And you're going to see a lot of dead ones. You're going to see a couple of that. They they look like they they were rats at one point, but they seem to have like spider legs kind of like sticking out of their mouths and like they're two feet long and like like they're they're very malformed, like everything's messed up. So looking at that, it's like, oh, okay, let's kick that away from me or something like you just kind of. And there are two paths up ahead.
Now, one, you can hear running water like a lot of running water, like like a waterfall or something like that. And that's going to be to your left. To your right. It's eerily silent, except everyone's one of your you're going to hear like a bloop. Something like that. And just kind of like craning your head back there. It's it's you're going to see light. And it seems to be coming from above. It's kind of like shining down, but it looks like moonlight. I want everyone to do me a favor and give me a perception check, please. And this will be to judge both both both ways here.
Jason, you put us an alien resurrection, essentially, is what you did. Thirteen, nine, eleven, twelve, thirteen. What about Terry? What about dog? Terry, you do have to roll for Terry and dog. Hi. I'll get. Yeah, let's see. Dog, you get. Let's see. Dogs got keen senses. Yeah. I do, too, but it didn't help me. I literally have a feature that's keen. Yo, dog is the oh, my God. Nineteen. I heard you like dog. I don't know if I don't know if Terry's perception is is so keen right this minute. Yeah, probably have to be fair. Yeah. Dogs got a 19 with advantage there. So again, kind of like kind of eyeballing the darker like that.
Not the darker one, but the one with the moonlight coming down just a little bit. But also advancing forward, like not like not afraid, just wary. And Terry's going to like grab like just not grab dog, but just kind of like reach out and he's going to kind of miss the first two times. And then just like because he's still like he's still doing this stuff the entire time. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got something that might help. I can only use it one time. But like if if we really need it, then we can use it. And he's kind of like motion like, you know, someone get my backpack, please.
Can I look? Nose goes. I can't reach my nose. Oh, no. Oh, I didn't have to help you go potty. I just, you know, he's been having to go for a while. He's he's like, no, no, no, no. Think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. And then the rushing water sounds. That was the sound. That was what it was. Sorry, everybody. To me, it's helping. Yeah. To me, grab this bag. There's some little box, probably probably towards the bottom. It's heavy like it's it's this little thing like like maybe the size of like something you'd keep like a Zippo lighter in something like that kind of kind of ornate.
And if you open this like there is a faint glow coming off of this, it is locked tight. But like it's not padlocked or anything like you can just like open it like there's a little like a little kind of wrench like key thing. Okay. Don't touch it, but like you can open it like just don't don't touch it with your skin. So if if we really need to. That is an active teleportation room, but I've never used it before my dad gave it to me just in case something got real bad and I can only use it once. So I don't have a way of charging it again. So if we really want to use it, we can.
Wait, wait a second. You're telling me you've got a way to just pop everybody out and put it somewhere else? Yeah, but it's not exact. I'm not. Look, I'm not as good as my sisters with that kind of stuff. So like I'm I can get us out, but I don't. I don't know exactly where we'll go. I've got like 14000 questions right now. Can on what's up? Can I look at Terry? So if we open it, it turns on. Is that how it works? You just got to hold it and it takes a couple of seconds to activate. But yeah. But can I open it and read it before it turns on? Oh, yeah, there's nothing to read.
Where does it where is it supposed to take you just wherever you want to go or to a special place? No, no, no, no. This is it's a low level room. It's only going to take us so many miles, but it's it's not here. And he's kind of like, again, like holding, you know, he's still holding the side of his head. He's got some hurt real bad. And I don't think. I don't know if we're in any shape to fight here. I think we should use it. Holding it in one hand. I mean, it I don't know if things are going to get worse. And if they do, we might we might want to save it.
But we know something's down here. Right. And the I could see light over on that side, but. I don't know, dogs acting up real bad. I don't know. It's up to you guys. You're the adventurers. He's going to come. I was going to stop him. No, Terry. We're all adventurers. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You are without a doubt an adventurer, whether you like it or not. And he'll look back to the group specifically to petrichor. And then kind of like motion like he come in basically like given look like petrichor. Yeah, petrichor. Right. So, Terry, what you're saying here is that you have something that could save yourself.
And all your friends. And you're willing to use it while you've got effectively a broken body, half a face, and everything's been just about as bad as it can be. Pretty much since you were born. Is that right? Mostly recently, but yeah. I would say you've pretty much got the badge of adventure in you right now. Let me tell you one more thing here. And he's going to just sort of point, not touch, but point towards his face wound, his eye. He's going to say, I'll tell you one thing. You take the bravery that you're talking about right this second that I'm seeing here.
You take that wound right there. You make yourself a paladin out of it. You start coming down towards me with like some sort of war hammer or some other paladin shit. I see that scar on your face when you just got one eye and you're coming about to attack me. Right there I pee my pants. You're just about, I'm kind of jealous. I'll be honest with you. So look, I think Tamika's right. I think we should do this. I ain't seen things this bad in a long time. Kanan nods. So everyone cuddle, I guess. Oh, yay! Kanan walks over, like touches runes with his elbow. Come on, big guy.
Runes loves a group hug. Let's do this. He's got real long arms. He can get around everybody. So, okay. Basically, I just got to hold this thing and squeeze it. And the longer I squeeze it, the more of a charge it's going to have. It's got a max of 100 miles. But again, I'm not totally sure how to direct it. I just know it won't be here. So you guys are sure about this? I don't know how these things work, but just think real hard to where we want to be. Where do we want to be? Dawnhurst seems ideal, I think, if we can make it that far. Sorry, go ahead, runes.
Okay, do you say that out loud? I would look at the group first. I'd be like, Dawnhurst sounds reasonable for 100 miles. Terry's actually going to say, didn't you say there were a bunch of vampires there? That's right. That was probably not great. Can you give me a few days? Just a few days? Yeah, boss. Don't you want to be healed? I do. I just don't know if everyone in Durn Hollow is on the same page as us anymore. They said, we're probably going to get some better help in Dawnhurst and in Durn Hollow. I'll be honest with you. He's going to just be looking around at everybody's broken, scarred, bloody bodies.
The blood is probably not a good thing for vampires. But anyway, I don't know. Seems like we should just make our way. Kinon stops again. Also, no offense, but Terry says he's never done this before and he's got more of an approximation than a direct hit. And I haven't really messed with teleportation that much outside of, you know, experiences with my darker side, like I mentioned before. But I think we've taken too many chances recently, so maybe I changed my mind a little. You're saying don't do this? I'm saying Durn Hollow seems like a reasonable substitute for trying to aim for Dawnhurst.
If he misses, we're in the divide. Well, if he misses, we could be in the side of a mountain. So, I mean... Good point. How far away are we from Esterholt? Quite. Okay, so by like the crow flies? You're a good 130, 140 miles away. That's over. It's over 100. Terry would speak up. So I guess it's a good time to mention it won't teleport us into anything. Like no mountains, no nothing. It's going to be... I was going to mention that would be a Cronenberg move and you promised me none of that nonsense. Well, it's also... So Terry's dad set this up for Terry. Is Terry proof?
Well, it looks like we're about 100 miles away from Dawnhurst. Oh, even more tempting. But like, what would we do once we were there? We go to the church and we tell them we scream like Quasimodo, "Sanctuary, please sanctuary." Yeah, but they're all vampires there. The whole place is vampires? The whole town is vampires. Ehhhh... Yeah. Are you thinking of Aubrey? Because Aubrey's the one with some vampires. Yeah, I'm thinking of Aubrey. Yeah, no, Aubrey has some vampires. Dawnhurst is all vampires. They're the boys, the fang. Oh, Jesus Christ. So, like, okay, if you guys are talking, Terry's like, he's got a beat up map and like he's got to kind of like fold it up near like the the rune.
So like it's it's kind of like, okay, in case of emergency type of thing. It's like it's all it's kind of like wet at this point. Like it's all everything's kind of damp. Guys, we're almost 100 miles away from anything except for except for Durn Hollow. And I mean, I mean, Durn Hollow seemed fine. It was the people outside of Durn Hollow that were stinky. Yeah. I hate to backtrack, but at the same time, we we do need some help. There's no vampires that we know of. And frankly, we did have a couple of people said we could stay at their place, if I remember correctly.
That's true. The blossoming blossom. That's a good name for a bar. We have a free date. Wait, what's blossoming? I know there's... Cherry blossom heaven. No, we're not going to stay there. It's just my weeb brain making it cherry blossom. You doubted yourself. Don't do that. I did. Fine, fine, fine, fine. I get it. Let's go back to what we're familiar with, even if it's not comfortable, because at least it won't be... Well, look, we got to rest. All right. Let's go upstairs. So we're using this or not? I'm sorry. I'm using it. And don't and don't don't don't hold it for too long because we're not going too far.
That was to me. We're talking to Terry. OK, OK. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to roll two D12s. The first D12 is to see how long it's held. Right. Because it's like just like the like you don't want to undershoot it, but you don't want to overshoot it because you're one, you know what I mean? So like this is so I need a volunteer for that. I haven't rolled anything tonight. Oh, my God. There you go. Yeah. So two D12s? No, no, no. Just one D12. OK. Twelve being the maximum, like four. What's a four? What's a four get me? Just about like, I don't know, 40 miles, a little less somewhere, a little less than that.
Now, the other D12. Imagine the face of a clock. Do you see the circle where you guys are right now? You're going to roll one more D12 and and I'm going to draw a line because that's going to be how far you're going to go. And you're going to you're going to be able to see it before we ever do it. OK. Cone. I don't want to cone. I want to ray. Come on, buddy. Work with me. I'm trying. Hold on. No, Brie and I are just we're manifesting. Just wow. Oh, that's bigger than I'd like. Oh, no, that's way more than I thought. Just about that. So, OK, now we're going to move this down here, but that's we're going to find out the direction.
Right. So a 12 is north. Right. Like imagine the face of a clock and then one, two, three, four. So go ahead and give me a D12, sir. We're looking for something in the sweet spot of both ends of this number. Well, I have this line essentially, I'm assuming. So like let me give you an idea. Directly north, 12 is going to stick you in orc territory. My favorite. Two, three and four are going to stick you right into the deadwood or the divide proper. Awesome. My favorite. Anything other than that. So five on. There's portions of the divide you'll be into, but it's a much less traveled, like much less ambush country.
And then, of course, six would be south. You'd be, you know, in the hills and stuff like that. There's lots of options here. I'd say 75 percent of your options are hunker down and get some rest somewhere. That sounds good. OK. OK. So basically, we're not looking for a twelve, one, two or three at least. OK. Such a weird range. It's so weird, right? OK, baby. Give me D12. Two. OK. Can I let's see. No, I need it. So we're going to. Oh, oh, no, we lost Jasper. No. So for some reason, we all decided to change clothes, lighting and time of day. But what I was in the middle of telling you guys was you're going to be.
Teleported. Just beyond the deadwood, you're you're you're just north. It's right here. It's right here on the map. I know what it is. I'm all too familiar with this location. You know what? So here's the thing. This 90. Yes, you did. But then we rolled for. You're out of the cave. You're ground level. And you're going to be teleported into a clearing. It's clear because you're just north of the woods themselves. This is orc country. Now, the good news is you're nowhere near the brookall camp. So you're you're a good 60 or 70 miles away from the brookall camp. So thumbs up to you guys.
Now you are alone. It is nighttime. Middle of the night. Two a.m. You're going to start to hear noises, obviously, like there's a there's a big sensory overload, big flash of light. Bam. Teleported. There's this essentially almost Terminator style, this big sphere that has eaten up shrubbery grass, that type of thing. You guys are fine. You're you're well, I mean, relatively, you're all a bunch. You're broken, but. You've all made it out of that cave. Nothing's going to hurt you from the cave. You are going to hear. Lots of of it sounds like like like tons and tons of twigs snapping at once.
Just tons of tons of them, like like like a lot. And I think it's a great time for us to stop for the night and we'll pick up next time. I do. Yeah, I am. You're not even on my mic anymore. So I'm mad. Why don't you why don't you mute yourself? Tell me all about it and then I'll catch on the recording and we'll listen to it later. What we're going to leave you guys with today in the credits is a lonely Jasper being recorded without his knowledge for the entirety of our credits with funny music. So thank you guys so much. We'll see you next time. Don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, all that good stuff.
And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode of Dungeons and Randomness. I'm so excited. And. And. And. And.