Somewhere to Belong

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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You can find us anywhere you look. On Twitter. On T-Public if you want some good merch. And we got a website that's basically all those links in one place. And that's dandrpodcast.com Thanks for joining us. I hope you have a good time. Because I'm sure we will. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the game master. I got to get used to saying that. Going around the table starting with Ryan. This is the fun part. Hey everyone, I'm Ryan. It's interesting. Ryan Garner. It's interesting. So we have our alpha. Now, now, now. [Laughter] I was waiting to see which one would pull ahead.

And Ryan. Hello, I'm also Ryan. And Ryan. No, and Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier. And last and certainly not least, Mandy. I want to be Ryan too. But I guess I'm Mandy. But I also want to be Ryan. No, you'll be Ryan three. Application accepted. You guys want hiring? We're not looking for any new Ryans right now. We may do some seasonal hiring. But right now we're full up. Wouldn't that be a thing for like a Christmas episode with four Ryans? Oh jeez. So Ryan. Just gives you the living shit out of it. It's like hey whoever gets to it first, that's who gets to. [Laughter] Guys.

I want to start things out. In the city of Orash. And allow me to share with you a wonderful map. Oh, that's beautiful. Yes. There'll be a credit in the bottom of the screen. If you would like some sort of custom map made by this person. But oh my God. Brother Henny did such a good job. That's gorgeous. It's amazing. It's so good. So wrong way. But Orash, as you can see, is a mountaintop city. It's where the Dragonborn live. It's where most of you guys live or, you know, have come from at some point. And for the most part, the Dragonborn are pretty much by themselves.

No one comes to disturb them. They're way up in the Hazon Mountains. They are... It's not like there's natural predators up there to bother them. But the problem is they've found themselves having to interact more and more with the outside world. It used to be a little different. It used to be they would be able to enter negotiations very strongly. Because they had this wonderful magic horn that summoned a huge red dragon. That was... It's like carrying around, you know, like a nuke. Right? So they had a lot of leverage in cities around here. And the problem is that's gone now.

They sort of used that card and that dragon's dead. So recently they've found themselves kind of struggling to find their place in the world. What do they do now? They're tacticians in that they're very combat oriented. They're bred, the red Dragonborn are bred to be the strongest, fastest, the hardiest. And they don't really have a lot of other marketable skills with no war to fight. And missing half of their force, dying fighting in a war that they really didn't get much out of. They're a little rudderless right now. And that is where I'd like to pick up with some of you.

Ryan Garner, Ryan G. Tell me a little bit about yourself, your character. Paint a picture. So for starting. I have to get in character. OK. So I'm playing Kriv. He's a taller than average, kind of middle aged, slightly on the heavy side, right. Dragonborn with his fair share of scars. The most noticeable kind of thing that's going on is he has a plate male pauldron that's fused into his shoulder, along with several other scales that are kind of fused together. And he has two horns that kind of twist back and hair that's kind of pulled back into the ponytail with patchwork armor, kind of donning different leathers and cloths to make up kind of a loose robe that kind of mostly that is on the bottom half.

He has a hatchet strapped to his hip and he uses a fairly straight six foot long route as a staff or walking cane that has one of his grandfather's horns as a centerpiece on top and around his neck. He has a string that is holding a crude totem carving that shows four dragon born faces. And he's kind of a retired from the adventuring side and he's more so on the, I guess, more like the holistic. He's kind of helping people out. He's helping train. He's using his knowledge for herbs to make medicines. Where did he get the cool glasses from? Oh, that's just a Garner special.

I would say that's part of holistic medicine. Everyone knows that. So you've been you've been one of a couple people pulled aside recently. And there's a bit of a task that you've been tapped to go out on. OK. And it's it's been kept pretty hush hush, right? Because. Leadership in Orash is very much it's almost prison rules. It's very much whoever's the strongest survives. So to admit that the dragonborn aren't in a great spot right now is to sort of admit two things. It's it's admitting current leadership hasn't done a great job to make Orash great again.

And I. And. To. It's they don't want to. The current leadership doesn't want to sound the alarms, right? So they're like, OK, here's what we want to do. We want to send a few dragonborn out. And we want you to go to Strahd's old cave because Strahd was the the massive red dragon that they had a pact with for for decades and decades. And with Strahd being dead, the only other dragon of any note in Alara is Aruthimar, which is what it was. Strahd's mate, this huge black dragon. And sadly, there was some sort of corruption, some sort of spell placed upon Aruthimar.

And she's last you heard it under the influence of some lady in Brightport. So your job would be to head to this this cave with a small group. And a find Aruthimar. B break the control that is held over her right now. C establish some new working relationship. And D recover something from the cave itself. One of the one of the interesting things about Strahd was it was basically treated like a deity to the dragonborn. They would they would bring offerings, you know, food, weapons, armor, treasures, all kinds of stuff. And there's one specific thing that you're being tasked to go pick up, but it's it's it's being kept hush hush.

OK, so Bausch, who is the current leader of Orash, is basically like, yeah, you don't tell your group this, but don't tell them about this crown. I want you to pick up the specific crown. Here's a sketch of what it looks like. Bring it back to me. OK, that's it. That's after you do everything else. And after you're dismissed. You're going to run into a dragonborn that was basically tapped alongside you. They just didn't get to the briefing in time. Mr. Heywood, hello. Paint me a picture. Well, I'm so glad you asked me to. The thing about our good friend Umo Sartak or Omo, as he is called among his friends, is that he is if you were to gaze upon him at first glance is the the very image of what you would think.

Now, that guy right there, that that's a dragonborn. He's he's big. He's beefy. He's strong. And why doesn't he have sleeves on his armor and good. OK, that's fine. He's wearing like a no. He's wearing like a no fear T-shirt underneath his chest. It's he is scales despite repeated attempts appear to have settled in on getting a brand on there. I'm sure we'll get into what the brand is at some point. He has a couple of different hammers on him. He seems to really like hammers. And but if one thing that's probably the most unusual, it's is his demeanor is a very relaxed demeanor.

Just this definitely a sloucher and until he has to not be a sloucher, but no, everything's fine. He's just a big guy and looking very confident. Yep. Nothing to be unconfident about. There's nothing to be unconfident about, is there? I'm not I'm not too sure. What was your name again? Oh, sorry. I'm Omo. And I mean, you're you're you're you couldn't be on time. I mean, I was I was going to be on time. But, oh, you put the bridge was blocked off. There was like every time I started to get ready to cross it, somebody was crossing the other. There's only so much room on those bridges.

That's I meant I went to go around and then somebody was on that bridge. The nightmare I'm telling you. OK. Should be noted. These bridges are huge. It's a whole wagon. Oh, like a whole wagon. It's like they got these double wide wagon. We know. OK, that's wagon nuts. OK, well, next time, just try to get there on time. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'll be five minutes early next time so that I'm not late. Good. The name's Crib. Oh, Crib, I've I've heard your name before. You're the guy who did the thing. But anyway, what's what I miss? We have to go to a cave and fix something.

OK. All right. I'll give more details once everybody's here. Oh, sure. No, let's let's gather everyone. There's one or two small hitches now. Obviously, this is a mission that they want to kept on the on the DL, as it were, and the problem with that is it's it's not like he was going to pair you up with the best and brightest. They need their best and brightest there because the city is largely undefended. More than half of their people are dead now and they're super selective. They will kill children at birth if they if they have a chronic cough or if they, you know, very spartan, very, very 300 in their their child rearing tactics.

You are raised from birth to be tough. A very walk it off mentality. So they don't have a lot of people. And as such, there's not a ton of people there who have trained in other things like finding someone who's decent at medicinal like anything, honestly, is rare. And it's probably earned because you've done something pretty, I don't want to say awe inspiring, but pretty admirable. But you are definitely not seen as peak dragon porn. Oh, yeah. So you're being sent out with pretty much a hey, you can assemble a team, keep it under like five. We don't want a bunch of people, but just get out there, find somebody.

Here's a list of people you can't have, which is pretty much the city. Yeah. Lots, lots. Yeah. It's like, but look, do it. Whatever. OK, it's kind of seen as a suicide mission, but it's also seen as like this long shot get out of jail free card. Like, let's say you're not looked at as someone who's very useful in Dragonborn society. You may not be getting drummed out right now, but you're not looked at as real Dragonborn. Yeah. So we were told about the shaman elsewhere, right? Like that was before. That's the other hitch. You were told about some Dragonborn that have either left or been drummed out.

It's like, look, you can't really have anybody from the city, but here's a list of people. And if one of them is kind of stands out above the rest, it's like, oh, they they sound useful. Why aren't they here? It's like, oh, they can't swing an axe very hard. Like they're, you know, that type of thing. It's now being looked at. It's like everybody who went to trade school now, now they need people to fix engines. And they're like, well, shit, you know. OK, so Chris is going to take a few steps forward. As if like he knows where he's going to go. Then he stops and kind of puts his hand on his chin.

Turns back over to Omo. Do you have any loved ones here? Yeah, I've got my aunt lives right over right over the bridge over there. You may want to go tell her goodbye. It'll be a while. I'll meet you at the gate. Oh, and Cribs starts walking off. Oh, all right. Oh, God, there's another cart on the bridge. Here we go. Makes his way over to his auntie's house and Cribs is going to go to his house or quick. Say goodbyes. So is there anything you're taking with you? Any mementos, any like it's going to be it's going to be a trek. The problem is you're not being sent out with the team.

So if you were making a straight shot, you'd basically be descending the side of the mountains, which is dangerous, you know, in and of itself. But now you have to descend to the bottom of the mountains, travel the roads for a while and go to a town called White Edge. And that's a trek. But it does give you a chance to to to stock up on things you might need. And then make your way back and climb that mountain. Yeah. So he's going to grab his pack, put furs, ropes, rations. I'm sure there's stuff like, you know, some jerky and whatnot, like he's kind of throwing in a pack.

He's basically going to gather his wife and kids there, tell them that he'll be back. Trying to sound a little bit more confident than that. Just, you know, I got to go out on our mission, give everyone hugs. And he's going to go make his way over to the gate. Before we before we leave that, how are you pitching that? Like to your wife? Like it's like they're very. Yeah. They still care for each other and everything. Like they're very it's like, well, you know that. But how do you pitch that? It's like, why are you taking this mission? So I well, I think initially with the kids there, it's like, you know, well, dad's got to go do something.

He's got a mission. You know, I'll be I'll be back. And, you know, and, you know, if it's a couple months. Right. You know, I'll be back in a few months trying to keep it very positive. But then as soon as he gives them their hugs and then they go, it he's probably going to look over to Arush, his wife. And it's one of those moments of this mission sounds complicated. Like more of that moment of, OK, I'm trying to level with you here. I'm not supposed to give you all the details, but it's going to be a difficult one. Not even talking about the fact that I have this band of misfits that I'm being sent with.

But also in a sense of like, well, I can't say no. Right. Like if I turn this down, I'm banned or I'm executed like it. It's not one of those things that you could just sit there and turn down and miss it. You know, a big mission from the person that's in charge. Yeah. When Bousk taps, it taps you to do something. It's not so much a request like, yeah, you can say no. But yeah, and it's it's not pitched as get out there and do it necessarily. It's like, hey, if you do this, this will be a better life for you. Basically, it's like you'll be able to. This is a skip to the top of the line type of thing.

If you pull this off. And that's yes, there's probably going to be a few like quick tears shed and whatnot. But it's one of those things of, you know, this is what I got to do. You know, I'm being sent out. He'll grab the little totem necklace thing that he has. He'll grab that and kiss it, because that's supposed to be that's basically his picture of his family and his wallet. Essentially, is that carving around his neck and like without trying to miss a beat because he knows what the urgency is. Yeah, he'll leave and head to the gate. He's got the glasses because he doesn't want to see him cry.

I imagine you kiss your wife, but I don't know how dragons are. So I imagine it's just you open your mouth like this and then like, oh, I like that. It's just stick your tongue out and just. Yeah, like it's like. But but you're dragonborn. So it's like a duel. It's like, no. Yes. It's like it's very. Yeah. Hours have been wasted. Tongue dueling. And it's not. Yeah, it's sexy. I'm making it hotter. It's like Eskimo kisses, but wet. Yeah. Moist, wet Eskimo kisses. Fan art, everybody fan art. Send it to show at the D.A. and D.R. podcast. Send them to Mandy directly. Just on Twitter.

Just imagine what I'm going to do. I'm going to I'm going to talk to Christine's like, can you just make these her desktop backgrounds? Just just for now. Just have them on the wall. Put a child block on them so that she can't change. Christy would know more graphic. The battery. I'll give her instructions. I haven't jumped into a call with her yet. This would be great. This would be a wonderful getting to know you. Oh, my God. I'm leaving. Oh, actually, go back to Alma. What's almost experience like saying goodbye? Well, he's going to his auntie's house is his favorite auntie and his only auntie, really.

And he's like, just saying, hey, Auntie, I'm being sent on a on a active. I don't actually know what I have to do, but I'm balls because got me and Krip Krip. You've heard of Krip Krip? He's a he was a fighting guy. And I'm not so much these days, but he's he's taken us on a mission and I would remember my travel pack that I dropped off here when I got back into town. Is that is that still in the other room? Because I still have it here. OK, let's operate on the Spider-Man scale of Antis. OK. Are we dealing with original trilogy Spider-Man, older woman? Are we dealing with a Sally Field, amazing Spider-Man?

Are we dealing with a hot Marissa Tomei Spider-Man, anti paint a picture? Help me out. Here's the thing about this particular anti. This actually isn't entirely my decision right here for reasons. Oh, really? Whose decision is it? I do we want to get into that yet? We want to make it. We can wait. We can wait. We can come back to it. You know what? That'll be that'll be the question of the day. How hot is your ants? I need to know. Are we supposed to roll for it? Everybody make your guesses now and you will find out at some point in the episode. You will be great.

We need to leave a comment. Give us a like. Subscribe. Put in the comments. Do you think our ants are hot? Oh, man. Right there. Right there in the chat right now, guys. If you're if you're on Twitch with us, scale of one to ten, how hot is Olmo's ant? How Marissa Tomei is she? And will Jayus play her? I just need to know how sexy I am. That's all I want to know. Give me a motivation. In one picture her moist tongue kissing. OK, goodbye nephew. But personality wise, very warm. You know that that very much have the extended family over for meals kind of anti. So I believe that was OK.

OK. That is canon now, by the way, I've decided that's how Dragonborn kiss. It's about time that I influence something. This city can't stay here too long. It's going to make a lot of scaley. Can you get going? Give me a kiss. Oh, no, we've been trying to expand the show. I think it's time that we've tapped the furries and scaleys. Guys, I contributed. We also have we also have a book coming out that is. Well, there are some very attractive lion folk in there. I'm just going to say that I've seen some of the art. They're kitties. How are you doing? So we're leaving the city, we're leaving our rash.

And again, like this is a very unique city in that it's very low tech, very low fi. Not a lot of magic here. It's not looked upon super, you know, they'll use it if they need it. But like so very, very, very against Spartan in that regard. So these huge rope bridges that can support thousands and thousands of pounds of weight. You mentioned being a slightly heavier set, like you got a little bit of a dad bod going on for Dragonborn. So that puts you in excess of well over three, three hundred fifty pounds. Like easy. Like they are big, thick boys. Man, we are just baiting.

You are. We're just baiting like it's, you know, whatever. Just roll with it. Embrace it. You don't need to acknowledge it. This is who we are. So you're leaving this place and you're there's this long rope bridge that that is over this huge expanse. And then you're going to start to descend the mountain. There's this wonderful winding trail and you're going to get several hundred feet outside of the city. Like you're like you're well, you're well across the bridge, you're you're starting to descend. And there's there's a little there's a little person kind of like like you see him down the path and they're kind of like poking out of like some rocks, just like like they clearly hear somebody coming.

Xavier, could you paint me a picture here? I can paint a picture. Oh, look at that brush. Oh, that's good. Oh, keep hitting the mic. So this scrawny looking black scale dragonborn shows up from the side of a rock and he's kind of hunched over just naturally. And as soon as he sees the duo come closer, he will straighten his posture, kind of grow almost a foot doing so. But even so, he's like a foot shorter than the two of them. If I put the two of you at seven feet, he'd be at six at his highest. And he crosses his arms, kind of looks to the side and eyes you from the corner and waits for you to get to him.

And this guy is so cool. He looks so cool. You don't understand how cool he looks. You don't even know. Nobody knows how cool he is. He's got this very light, but very spiky, like sharp angles, armor, like all black leathers and like piecemeal kind of like pauldrons. They've got sharp edges and yellow accents. He's got this long snout and like two really cool, short horns just shooting out of his skull. And I mean, you've seen the picture, but you get it. If I know anything in life, it's that the cooler someone tells me they are, the cooler I see them. I just need to make sure everybody everybody knows how cool this guy is.

Yes. That's why I talk about him like people every time I introduce myself, like I want to make a good impression. It's like I got such a full head of hair. It's so full. It's so full. And I just keep saying that. And then Jason, he's kind of he's kind of mysterious to you. Like you want to know him more. Oh, I didn't. Did I mention he's got a like billowing neckerchief scarf to mention that? No, you see always walking away from an explosion because they're constantly just like he's just throwing dynamite behind him all the time. No, that's the wrong kind of cool.

Oh, oh, this is a little like a loop. Yes, a loop. Exactly. Got it. This is the guy at the party you want to talk to, but he's just too cool. And I guess if the two of you keep walking towards him, he will address you. And you'll simply say. So am I allowed in now? Did you talk to your did you talk to your chief? You can use it. OK. Did he tell you? Oh, I got this. OK. OK. Zozo, if I may put this lightly, you're coming with me on a mission. All right. Oh, I need to make sure I don't fall into Chapman territory. Is this. Give me one second to my name is those. OK, there is there.

My name is those. OK. Yeah, that's my that's my my phrase. I guess I can. Is this about Arutham are like we discussed? Wait, what? Yes. Well, that's good. Then then follow me. Wait, what? No, hold on. No, you're following me. I'm sorry, what is your name again? OK, we've gone over this. My name is Kriv Kriv. I was the one given all the instructions. We are missing one more person and we've got to go find them first. Wait, OK. Arutham are. Yes. So, Zozo. Yes. Are you coming along with us? If you can't keep up and he turns around and starts walking. Oh, boy. Is those the other way we're going to Whitehead?

He fluidly turns around to his Whitehead. And yes, almost we're going to Whitehead. We've got to find someone else there. And we're going to a cave where Arutham are is Whitehead. Yes. Oh, I know someone in Whitehead. But Arutham are. Yes. Well. We can explain on the way Arutham are Arutham are can't wait. Let's go, gentlemen. Oh, it's very, very cool. Who is this guy? Later, find the one that they didn't want inside. So he's been camping out here hoping that one day he'll be let in. But he's not a. Oh, yeah, I mean, it's mean he's kind of little. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's that is that is one aspect which the leadership would point out.

Yeah. But he's nimble. So those are like already 100 foot down the hill and he's kind of like jumping from from a jagged rock to another. And we're just slow walking. Yeah. It's too long a walk to jump. I hope you guys just dance around the color thing so hard for the rest of it. It's like, look, some of my best friend or black dragonborn. It's not. I mean, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Get it up now. I love the bit, guys, but it might be time to take off the masks now. It might be a little easier to see each other. There we go. This is right. Oh, hello, old man McGinty.

And I would have got it if it wasn't for you kids and your dog. You guys are going to be spending some time on the road here now. Cortex is a wonderful system for telling a story. And here's what we're going to do. I'm going to have each of you guys roll a die. And basically what we're doing is we're going to be surmising a third of your journey each time we roll a die. So here's the thing. Travel die work a little bit differently. This arc we used to just say, hey, roll me a flat D 20 and we'll let luck sort it out. Right. And it's a system that, well, it did good by us for many, many years.

But it's 2022 and it's been 10 years. I think it's time to switch some stuff up. So here's what we're going to do. There's a bit of a risk reward aspect now. No longer will we be using a D 20 for travel. You're going to pick a die. A D4, D6, D8, D10 or D12. The larger the die you pick, the greater the rewards or consequences we may have. Let's say you pick a D4 and I'm just going to say, hey, you're going to be traveling for the next couple of days. Pick a die and you say, look, I don't want any trouble. Just give me a D4. And that means you roll that die on a one or two.

Something bad happens, but it won't be too bad. It's a D4. It's it's like, oh, the weather's really crappy or oh, but these things will be scaled to your level and they will be scaled to the area you're in. Obviously, something bad happening in the Silver Glade is way worse than something bad happening in, say, the streets of a major city. But as you go up and die and you roll on the good half again, let's go back to the D4 scenario. You roll a three or four. Something good's going to happen, but it's going to be like, oh, man, the weather's really nice or oh, look, free sandwiches, something like that.

If you pick D12s, oh, baby, that basically means something huge. That means treasure. That means, you know, some sort of signature asset you can use. Signature assets, by the way, people are basically like your your plus two hammer of the gods, something like that. It's what we use in Cortex. And every time you swing it, you basically get an extra die. So I need a volunteer to be our first travel die roller. Oh, Mr. Hey, what? Which die will you be selecting? Well, I think that the first official role. Yeah. Yeah. So I was thinking that I should be very cautious and roll the smallest dice possible.

And I thought, that's boring. Let's go huge. I like it. So this would be setting a tone one way or another. So looking at the table, give me give me a D12, I guess. Here we go. So one through six, something bad happens. Seven through twelve, something great happens. All right. Spinning, it's spinning, it's spinning and go. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh, oh, there you go. You didn't pull a varis. You know what? Begin that is like excellent. That is an excellent way to start off this adventure. Good stuff. Thank you. Thank you. Good stuff. OK, I retire. It's not getting any better than this.

It's time to go. No, trust me, it doesn't. Look, I've been on the show for a while. Saying you're dead, kid. Dead. One out of dead. One out of one. And you've created it. So, oh, man, wouldn't it be great if this Ryan gets all the good luck? There you go. Right. You didn't like to hear Yang. The nemesis only works if we get equal roles. Yes. So that means there's logic in our 12. Yeah. Yeah. I have to roll. I think we need to test this theory. If you roll a D12 and you get a one, then I think the science is in. Oh, man. This is how clinical studies are done. I mean, it kind of looks like a one seven.

So I need one more role here. Sample size is too small. It's so OK. Hold on to that role for just a moment so that the first couple of days you guys are on the road, it's going to take you almost a week to get to Whitehead. It's it's pretty far down south and you guys got mountains to trek through and then forests. So those first couple of days couldn't be better. They're beautiful. There's there's essentially nothing in your way. There's areas that are normally fraught with danger. We're talking cyclops or, you know, Knowles, something like that, where you'd have to fight your way through.

And it's it's just kind of dead or you see them in the distance. It's like, oh, we'll just duck on through. We have a small party. Boom. We're in and out of here. I can hear typing, by the way. It's not a huge deal because I can mute it, but just just just let you know. At the end of your second day. I need a D for Mr. Haywood, please. You're rolling on a little table for me, basically. Shocking. Yeah, I know. It's unlike me. A four. So all I do is credit Jason that I'm. Yeah, you're that you're you're he's getting cocky. He's got another lesson I've ever had. So I guess I have to step down from being alpha.

It's the comfort of the lack of leadership that enables that. Oh, yeah. So you get to the base of these mountains on the second day here and you're about to cross over here into bandits rest territory. It's a nasty bit of forest, but you're probably going to cut over and get to the main road. And you're going to see a dead guy. Oh, he's been dead now for a little bit. If you put if you give it a little guess, it's probably been a week. So a gross dead guy. Most of the meat's been picked off the bone and stuff. It's you know, but the dead guy is not important.

That guy is just a dead guy. Diamond is important. It's he has a huge sack. A burlap sack near his body. It was resting here. That's that makes more sense. God, I wish we had just an on staff artist all the time to just drop things. That's when you know, we made it where I'm just going to put the I'm just going to fill the screen later on in the stream. It's like I want I want a corpse, but hear me out. Shoot and then just keep the massive sack. Yeah. So this this this this large bag has kind of like fallen over a bit. And you're going to see some some glassware, some bottles piled up in here.

Would you like to do? Oh, when I tell my fans, you know, it's a good some gloves on first. Who's going in, who's grabbing that sack? OK, I guess I. Yeah. Hold on. You said put on gloves. So I'm doing that. All right. Let's let's get in that sack real good and deep. Good. What am I holding? So you it's good that you're cradling. That's good. So it's it's a it's a it basically these these circular bottles. Right. I think real real Diablo style, not the little test tubes, but the like it's it's got some weight to it. So these are a bright red liquid with flecks of of something.

It's what it looks like is sparks like this is the kind of thing like you give it a little like a little shake. And like you can see, like think Star Trek transporter sparkles like inside of it, like it kind of catches the light. Do any of you have any training in, let's say, I don't know, alchemy? I think one of us does. No, not alchemy. No, not alchemy. No, not for alchemy. I have I mean, basically the plants and like medicine side I do, but not quite into alchemy yet. Well, then, you know, I'd be might be out of an alchemist. I almost do me a favor. Yeah.

Give me an alchemy role. All right. So that would be. Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. So we'll start with the D4 that I actually have in that. Right. And then let's see. It's always three days. Right. So there's the just the D8 that you just kind of get. Yep. That's your class. All right. I will click on that. And so I have the D4 in my alchemy, my D8 for class. And what do I be savvy? No, it's the other one. Intellect. All right. That's a D6. That's OK. Let's see what happens. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, well, you need a difficulty. So here's your difficulty. It's going to be it's 2D. It's 2D tense.

So it's it's fairly difficult. This is a rarer, a rarer thing here. So here we go. Oh, Jesus. 15. Nope. OK, so not that none of your dice equal. Even if you took all three of them and you can't. It's only two of them. You get to add together. So this eludes you. It's all right. There's a note inside the bag, too. Let me just reach a little deeper. No. Oh, well. The rest of this is like folded underwear, stuff like that. Just stuff. But these you do notice that these are just kind of like clumped together. The tops of them were tied together at one point with like twine.

And there's five of them. And they were just kind of placed on the top of the sack and then dude died and they're here for the taking. I found some sparkly red juice. Do you want some I mean, and underwear? I'm going to I don't want his underwear, but do you want a sparkly red juice? Yes. Yeah, I could take a look at that. Yeah. There's like five of them. So I'm not thirsty. Yeah. These may not just just give them here. OK. Yeah. Here you go. Hold on. I've only got two hands, so give me a second. All right. Here's to her. Here's to. OK. And one more. There you go. OK.

Cribs, so why exactly did your leader send two of us on this mission? What do you bring to this group of three that we are? Honestly, I find it a little insulting. It's a think that experience. Right. Right. And what do you don't have? Oh, at least not yet. Oh, you don't know my life. You're right, I don't. But I don't care. Oh, fine. Are you done? He turns around and walks away. Jesus, I didn't ask to be born. I really thought I thought there was gonna be a fight for a second there. Now, he won't attack me. Oh, he's better than that. Oh, I thought you were going to go the other way with that.

That's OK. Yeah. What are we doing with these sparkles? Sparkle liquids. Leave them on Ryan's body. Hope he doesn't shake too much. I mean, I can try, but it's probably not going to be much better. I mean, but then again, it coming from all low. He has no confidence in it, almost being able to identify these at all. OK, I was about to say, if you're double checking someone's work, it very much comes off like, give me this, you idiot. Like it kind of comes off like I mean, I mean, harsh, but fair. Yeah, he's out of line, but he's right there. OK, real quick.

How do we take that off or like away? Oh, it rolled out anyway. Right. Click on the die that's at the bottom of the screen. Yeah. Oh, did not know that. OK. All right. All right. So I got my D10 for an intellect. Alchemy is going to be a D4 and then class D8. Yep. All right. Let's hope so. Shot across the screen. It's been not meeting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you're one shy. Damn. Well, he's going to look just as confused with them. Put them in a sack and start walking. So I have five sparkly red vials of mystery juice, mystery juice, mystery juice. You guys done staring at bottles?

We can go now. Yes, we can go. Wow. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors. Please don't go anywhere. So that second that second die roll, let's jump back to that real quick. Next two days on the road is a seven. It's just this side of good. You're, you know, one weather still on your side. That's fantastic. Nothing's really slowing you down. You're not getting spotted by anybody. For the most part, you're going to be saving on stuff like food. You're in an area that is just rife with stuff to eat. Hunting's great. I'm assuming this isn't an intellect driven group so far that I can see.

But no, no, no. I'm just saying maybe that fourth table leg will be the one we need for these types of. I have some intellect. I just don't have. I'm yeah, I'm not calling it dumb. I'm just saying like there's a lot of you know, you look kind of dumb so far. Like just wow. Wow. They're bringing down the average. So what can I say? I need one more die roll to take you guys into White Hedge. Now, this die roll is important because this is what you'll be walking into once you reach that town. Oh, what's the situation like and wait? And we only got Xavier. Yeah, everybody's rolled.

You could totally play it safe, sir. No one would. No one would. I mean, everyone else rolled a twelve and you'd be rolling something else. But like, no one's going to judge you. That's true. I'm going to go middle of the road here. Going to roll a d8. Oh, sorry. Oh, you know, you know, on a d12 it would have been a one. Fair. So no, they back rubs. Everyone gets a thorough back rub the second you cross the threshold of the gates. They're just like, let me take your bags. Let me let me just work these knots out like instantly. Jeez. For real, though, when you reach White Edge, it is it's a lovely little place.

I mean, it's probably a bit strange for Dragonborn to go to other cities and stuff like that. Right. Because you're almost Amish in a lot of ways. Like you're you're very it's not that you don't get, you know, magic and technology and stuff like it. You just don't use it. You look at it as a crutch. So while you'd be using like it's like, OK, this needs fixing. It's like, all right, well, I'll take it to the Smith or I'll just hammer at it for a while, while someone who actually knows magic could probably cut the job down in half. It's not a Harry Potter.

Let me fix your glasses with the glasses fixing spell. But it's it's you know, it'd be faster. So when you guys walk into a town and you see that it's why you just kind of a hub to you got people from Watford, that side, you got people from Brightport. You got people from, you know, Fair Bay to the south. So it it's like Atlanta. It's it's bustling. There's stuff going on. It's hot. What like what's your experience been in towns before? Like how often do you guys do you guys ever leave Orish? Oh, man, I just got back not all that long ago from lots of travel and a ton of it.

There is a it was because I was doing my journeyman for blacksmithing. You got to you got to your apprenticeship, little journeyman, and you get to be a master and open up your and I was totally doing my journeyman face. And so I've been to all these towns. I said it's actually when we get done doing what we're what we're doing here. I have someone I want to visit real quick. If that's OK. And this story has nothing to do with that tattoo. What? Oh, that that brand. Oh, no, dude. OK, so like that's OK. Hey, man, the bottomless joy will change your life, man.

All right. There it is, dude. It's they're awesome. Totally. It's. Can you describe it? Well, imagine that real like in the 80s, every band had like a logo of like and it was all like sharp edges or what have you. And it was like this was what the band logo looked like. And it was every album that's like, boom. You know, it's you know, it was Iron Maiden from the shape of the of the letters as much as anything. It's that kind of thing. It's got a very specific bottomless joy fun. It's very stylized. You could tell they hired somebody to make up this bottomless joy logo.

And he got that branded right into his arm. By the time this episode comes out, I will make one of those logos. I love you. And it will be you know what? Fuck it. We'll do a front back concert like a grand tour. Oh, yeah. Ten years in the making. Oh, my God. Yeah. The second area that they visited. I want one. I'm buying. Oh, yeah. No, we're doing it already. I already own it. Yeah. Cut the sleeves off. Yeah. This is past Jason speaking. Future Jason's already done that. It's actually right now, guys, if you're watching this stream, there's a little button. You click on it.

It'll take you right to that T-shirt. I'm not fucking around. Let's go. Awesome. All right. We're live. So good. Hi, Chad. Hi, Chad. Buy that merch. Yeah. So I can buy three million dollars in fake Pokemon cards. So that's my goal. Nice call back. Thank you. Walking into White Hitch, White Hitch, walking into White Hitch. It is a gorgeous little town. Again, lots of hustle and bustle. There's there's street vendors kind of hawking wares and stuff. You guys are getting there a little like it's it's around dusk. So you got some people packing up and stuff, but you got bars opening up like they're they're kind of prop indoors, open to let air in because it's that after work crowd.

People coming in from the fields, people coming in from hunting and stuff like that. So they're they're opening up. Where's your first stop? Where are you going? I guess that's up to Crib. Crib's the boss. I love when we get a group leader. This was fast. This is fast. Probably even without probably sharing the information, just start walking over towards wherever there's probably like the most amount of people, like whether that's going to be like in like a market area, whether that's going to be in like a tavern or some sort of restaurant or something.

He's he's walking over. He wants to get next to some people to ask a question. He doesn't even tell the other two. He just walks. So snarls, what are we doing? I told you we had to find one more. I'll make it quick. Just make this place makes me want to barf acid my own mouth. I hate it. Come on. This place is great. Well, if if nothing else, keep your eye out for another red dragonborn. Easy enough. You know, really? Oh, I just. The only thing I have to go off of is a red female dragonborn. That's a shaman. Oh, never mind. Must be someone else. OK. OK. I'm of the people standing around right now.

There's there's someone a very large someone, Goliath, actually, who would be eyeing you guys up. You're a weird you're a bit of a weird bunch to come walking into town. Like it's honestly it's not that weird to see dragonborn. It's a little odd to see them this far away from the mountain. But it's weird seeing two different colors of dragonborn mingling, mostly just because of how well one black dragonborn are endangered. Kind of swamp dwellers. You know, blue dragonborn are nowhere near here. They're they're off at another continent. And so are the white dragonborn.

So it's a little odd. So this this this large muscular guy kind of lean in against this this fence post where you can lash your horse to just kind of like just kind of taking you guys in eyeballing. You know. So so does a thing where he puts his kind of pucks up on their hop. Yeah, kind of returns the the glare. Kind of like you see something you like. Oh, oh, it's like, OK, are you are you are you mad dog and I'm a little bit tough guy in them. You from from I'm not walking up to them, but from within the group, I clearly saw him. I'm making it known that I saw him.

You know what? Let's do a little scare check. Let's see what let's see what like how like like what message are we sending you? You're walking into town. You're kind of it's like, look, I'm slapping it on the table. Here we go. Cool. Scare. That's a D for. OK, my class. That's a D eight. And my presence. That's a D for this is going to go wonder. Perfect. Let's rule. You're so cool. I don't know. Six and the D for effect, please. OK. Do you for effect? Yeah. OK, well, you know what? You make me feel easily frightened. Yeah. Like maybe he's maybe he's easily frightened.

Let's see. So let's let you know what? I'm going to assemble his little dice roll here. Oh, boy. Yeah. Huh. OK, so the good news is he rolled a one, so we ditch that dice. The bad news is that's still an eight. So I. OK, he also looks at the ground. He's not looks like he looks away. I it's not like he's mad dogging back. He's just kind of like he's not just kind of like it perplexes him more than anything. It makes him more curious. And he's going to wander over. And he's going to offer his hand for like one of those big manly forearm shakes. Viking. Yes, those will go in.

Even if he's extending it to someone else, he'll go in and stuff raises, raises. No, like this dude is taller than all of us. So I like he has to go for it and he'll. Yeah, he'll do the strongest. He's not unfit. Like he's crony or by default, but he's still for a black dragon more and he's still very apt, like apt physically. So he'll go for it. He's so this is a pretty well endowed dude in the muscular department. Goliath are cheating, essentially. They're there. It's not fair. So the dude's like six, nine, three hundred and eighty pounds. Solid muscle, big fucking hammer, big two handed hammer on his back.

And he's kind of like he, you know, he walks up, it's like greetings. And he's kind of he he might be lying if he wasn't kind of eyeballing your hammer. Oh, no. Just kind of like checking it out, you know, just like, all right, what models that? It's custom, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. I got the medal for this. The mountain straight to the west. You know, the ones. What do you got there? I got this made in bright for a few years back. Little dude, bro. A little like they're kind of like just comparing. You know, it's it's I'm saving up for something nice. But, you know, it's like two it's like two white guys who know how to play guitar at a party.

And they're fucking it's the worst. It's the worst. I imagine like they started this conversation while Zozo and the Goliath are still shaking hands. And he kind of like, let's go of it. And so I was just doing the the boyfriend girlfriend meme where he's just looking back. You got to watch out for those bright port blacksmiths. I mean, the good ones are really good, but some of them, they'll they'll tell you that they're using one metal and then they'll use the cheap stuff. You've got to be real careful about that. You look like a guy that knows your stuff.

So I'm sure yours is fine. I had to go through two before I got this one. I trust her. I trust her. So what's what's this? What do we what are we doing? What can I do for you? We're looking for what was it? A female red dragonborn. That's a shaman. The only female red dragonborn I know in town isn't a shaman. So is there another one from here? Do you know the people? Yeah. But what do you what do you exclusively traveling with your kind? I get it. If so, it's fine. I used to I used to I used to team up with a few of you guys, but they were they were pretty slow.

They're always dragging behind that typical doesn't break a smile like just looks like it. I know I'm hilarious. Can we keep them? Like, no. Oh, either he thought that was very funny or needs to work on his delivery or something. But he's just he's very is that moment where you tell a joke and it's just cricket cricket. Yes. Those are laughs. I thought it was really funny. Like I'm bored. So they do be like that. It do be that way. Sorry, you're in charge here. No, no. I have any kind of responsibility. I feel that. OK, then let's move on then. And he just like starts looking away.

So you taking your kid out or what's with him? Oh, damn. No, no, no, no, no. He's just part of the team. Did I mention those 17? Oh, my God. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, no, that makes he's a young as a young person. So he's the star of his own novel all the time. Like he's. Oh, yeah. He reads like he wrote them all. Oh, man. OK. Well, it's like comic books. No shame in that. Nothing wrong with that. Some of my best friends are comic books. Not artists or writers, just the books. That's sad. But anyways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're probably looking down the street bar, probably.

Oh, yeah. All right. Hey, sorry for the hassle. Thanks for the help. And I hope I get to see what your next hammer looks like sometime. That'd be awesome. Oh, yeah. No, you come back through in like six months. We'll we'll do it up. We'll go out. We'll hit stuff. Now we're talking. I look forward to it. That'd be great. You ever. OK. When two dudes like that get together. There's this weird magnetic pole where it's like, that's not your voice. That's not what you sound like. That's not like everything. Like it's like, OK. If I run into another dude from Jersey, there's this weird like, like it's like, oh, you ever go to the ring nose?

Oh, like it's it's very it's like, stop it, like stop it. Everything but pronounced the Italian foods with the accent like it gets borderline that but not quite that. Are we going to New York, Chicago? What are we doing? Because I'll do it. I was talking about food. Why would we go to Chicago? So we're. Wow. And thank you. In your chat, you must call me the name that first bounced into your head. We won't ban you. That's fine. You get 10 seconds. This is it. And then tell me why your pizza's gross. I'll take a 500 word essay and I want that on my desk by Monday.

The bar. If you guys were to walk down the street, there's a place called the the Succulent Pig. It's it's it's it's a lovely little place. So this is one of those. I think of the bar in like Shaun of the Dead, like very, very cozy tavern type of thing, like the Winchester kind of, you know. And right away, you're going to notice that it's just before the rush. So like they're taking down extra chairs and putting stuff up. They're expecting people clearly. And there's someone sitting like as you walk in to your right, like there's someone sitting there that is a red dragonborn female.

Like it's it's how many of those could there possibly be? Maybe two, maybe three. I don't know. Mandy, can you paint me a picture here? I get to put my map. I'll do it on my head. But what I where were you going to put your mask? Oh, like a. Oh, neat. I get my mask. I was like, where are my glasses? I'm wearing it. I'm so good. Oh, you're putting on that on fully. No, I can't because I can't see. Where's where's my glasses? Oh, this is as good as my eyesight gets, huh? That's why I kept putting mine on over. OK, so Clover or do I have to say her full name? Cool, cool.

Vara, not Stuadil Clover. Let's go with that. She's definitely smaller than the typical red dragonborn. So, you know, as others come in, she's definitely dwarfed by them, except Zozo because he's tiny and she's very gangly. Like her limbs and arms are too long for her body because she's very young, but she might not still be growing. So she's just always going to look weird and gangly. And she's she's just kind of swinging them around without care. She has she's wearing kind of worn leather armor that's just really dinged up. And it looks like it's about a size or two too big.

Like somebody handed her some hand-me-downs like, wear this, don't die. And then and she also has a bunch of like random crap that's tucked in like little bits and bubbles. She's got some little weeds hanging out and just in random pockets everywhere. And even though she's covered like head to toe in just like old and new, just scars, scrapes, bruises, she just has a constant grin on her face. She's just very happy. And she was sitting down. But before you came in, she was trying to help. She's like, oh, oh, can I help? Put down the chairs and then she'll drop it and one will break.

And the book. No, no, no, no, no. Go there. Sit there and just. OK, can I have another juice? And just like, hi, just get what can I do? Oh, OK. I sit here. I'm good. I imagine you're not a big spender in the bar, but like you're a constant presence. Like it's it's like you're nice, but like they learned very quickly that when they ask you, it's like, hey, could you get those glasses down? That was the last time they asked you to do that. Yeah, you have you have definitely cost them more than you spent here. Absolutely. There's there's not even a not a question.

Yeah, definitely. But she's nice. Does she have her own mug made of wood at that particular bar? It's probably a sippy cup at this point. Like she's got like a Wii remote tether to the. Saw them and said, can I have one? And then broke it. And then they're like, no idea for stories and shit. Let's have the little skee-pole. Yeah, I don't know much about swords. So you guys walk in, you see her. It was not a long search. This this lady seems to stand out a bit. It cradles all leads in towards just before you walk those leads into a crowd. Is that it? Maybe. Well, we'll see.

Mr. Haywood, not just you with your own. He's waving hello to to Clover. He's like, oh, hi. And then Clover will probably just kind of notice, like she was kind of watching everybody. And then it's like, oh, new people. And then sees sees Omo and say, and she'll just leap up and then do that thing where you leap and try and body slam and also wrap all limbs around. She will do that. And he will absolutely catch you. Hey, cousin, how's it been? It's been so long. I don't even know how long has it been? I just been here. Oh, mama said to stay. So can I go back?

Actually, I just saw your mom. She's doing great. She's she's doing good. And by the way, earlier we talked about how hot is almost and well, this is I believe you get to decide how hot is is Clover's mom. How hot is your mom, Mandy? She is an older dragonborn lady. Older like a cougar? Older like a rounder? Answer the question. Assign a number to the hotness of this NPC. Everyone needs to know if they're good or if they got it right or not. You know what? Do you have to choose the golden girl to compare her to? Oh, OK. Golden girl. She would be. Dorothy. OK. Yeah.

Oh, OK. No. Oh, Dorothy's cool. Also, she's not. Be Arthur was a handsome woman. I'm not saying I like handsome women. OK, it's like a two. All right. Wow. Wow. So she was fired. That's why you're talking about. I know my mama. I mean, she's a nice woman. Yeah, she's she's got a great personality. Salts of the earth. I like handsome women. I think she was hot. You think your mom's hot? Wow. Oh, yeah. You get a point. Sicko. I would imagine, by the way, the eyes in the bar probably shift because you guys are not almost specifically is not a small person. So that jump into the arms, it's on the wooden floorboards of this place like boom.

Yeah. Yeah. So like I think it's like, oh, God, what's breaking? Like, I think it's it's it's they're probably keeping an eye on it. It's like, oh, no, there's more of them. Like they're bigger. So, yeah, cousin, we're here. Let me put you down real quick. OK, but I got to put you can I put you down? No. OK, I'll hold on to you for a while then. All right. Do you know is there what are we looking for? A shaman, did you say? Yes. Yeah. Is there another red, red dragonborn in town that's a shaman? Shaman. Yeah. No. Oh, is there any other red dragonborn? Jason, is there?

Oh, it's like, hmm. Well, there is a guy that I thought had scales the other week, but I think it was just red fur that was really matted and gross. So does that count? Cribs going to look over towards Zozo and kind of like hand gesture of like. This is it. Does it you kind of see his nostrils flare, kind of like doing that upset exhale? And he shakes his head. Pathetic. Wait, what? That's kind of to himself and to Crib, you know, I won't bother antagonizing the two of you. Where are we? Too much energy. I'm sorry, are we supposed to take my cousin with? Apparently.

Oh, God. We're going on a trip. Clover, was it? Yeah, I'm Clover. Hi. Hi. And just in in almost arms like, oh, your mom's going to be so mad at me. You've been summoned. The four of us are going on a mission. I get to go on a mission. What are you talking about? Oh, my mom would be so proud. What are we doing? Get do get. Oh, it's just like going through her pockets and pulls up this little weed that has a little, little tiny flower that's kind of scrunched. I knew it was going to be a good day. I need to kind of get some closer to to Clover and kind of in a hushed voice, just so that people around wouldn't hear.

But he's like, we're going on a mission to liberate the great dragon god, Aruthimar. I hope you've got what it takes. I don't know what an Aruthimar is. OK, good start. I'm getting a drink. My name is Zozo. Crav is going to get a drink. I'll be outside. You have a cute name, Zozo. What? I've got my name means omen of darkness. That's cute. That's not it's not cute. Remember, you can't actually whisper to her without Omo hearing it because she's like right here on Omo. You're in on this. Now, you know. Hey. OK, Crav, Zozo, can I get you to do me a favor? Can I get a fortitude check?

Just your class fortitude, please? And I want to I want to see if you can beat an eight. That's a B. Eight and eight. Let's go. Oh, gosh, I can. You can definitely. Oh, my God. So both of you. So, OK. As you guys are having this conversation, you're going to feel hands. At your like waist level. And they're trying to shove you aside like you can feel there's force there and then elbows like jagged, like just a boom. And that part is probably going to make you go, ow, what the fuck? And there's going to be this squad. I call them the boys. If if you like, if you see these guys out in the town, there's a lady in there, too.

But like very dude, bro energy. So four dwarves. Are going to walk into this bar chest, chest puffed out and just like move like very rude, very like just that's their indoor voice. Cribble look behind them like not with his gaze down, with his gaze at his eye level and like look back and go, huh? And look back at like where he was ordering to drink from. Well, that's not going to go over well, so. So this is very back to the future, but the three behind the main dwarf is going to be that they're going to be like, oh, you let them do that. Do you that type of thing?

So this main dwarf, big, big, big beard of red hair, puffy like it's very humid. Florida weather just got to this dwarfs beard. But the top that the toughest hair is like pulled in tight with this big, thick braid in the back. And he's he's kind of wearing this this loose fitting steel helmet. And he's going to he's going to kind of look back to the boys and be like, oh, well, I've clearly been challenged. And he's going to he's going to take his two his two fingers and just prod the back of Crives, like just that flank your flank. What's the matter? Your rank so thin you got to take in the black ones now.

It's dwarfs. So he's going to turn around and then look down. Oh, it was you, the people that don't have any sort of common decency at all. I bring whoever I want. Is this all good again? Just like earlier, as those always between the two of them trying to look tough. Nobody's paying attention to exactly just like. Yeah, just constantly fidgeting, just like. You know why I don't have to have decency? Because our word counts for something. Now, why don't you go back to being ignored? Oh, there's job and he like points over to Zozo. I'm like the shadows. I think it'd be a second of like, is your friend OK, though?

Seriously, like he's like, is he like special needs? Like, is he OK? Like, I don't want to pick on someone who's like, you know, Cribs going to turn back around to the bar and if his drinks ready, he'll grab it and leave. Like this thing doesn't concern him pretty much. He's just trying to get his drink and go. But if it's not ready, he'll sit there and wait. But with his attention at the bar. Yeah, I don't think they're going to escalate things, but it's definitely going to be like loud talking about you and snickering. Like very just dicks, you know, just dicks.

You know, they're not going to get into a fight over it, but they're definitely taunting. Yeah, I know their type well. So I don't go to bars. I am quite why didn't you bite their faces off? It was right there. Oh, I know that one, because have you ever gotten dwarf hair stuck in your mouth before? Oh, OK. Yes. OK. Yeah. Don't please never talk about it again. No, no. Yeah. No, that's not why. Oh, we don't want to cause a scene. If we cause a scene, we get arrested, we get tied up here, then we can't go find a Ruthmore. Oh, that's right. That's right. I knew that.

Mm hmm. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, cousin. So, OK. Ruth, right. Big dragon, right. Like you know, like no, I'm like a dragon dragon, like with wings and everything flies through the sky like dragon dragon. Oh, yeah. You remember how you were really little, but you remember how we had that whole compact with Strahd. You're pretty little back then, but, you know. No. Oh, OK. Oh, OK. Clover, go sit at the table, please. Give me a juice. Oh, yeah. I found some juice. Oh, wait, no, that sparkle juice. Yeah, we don't know. No, no, we're not not using that yet. Yeah. She looks very sad.

She's like, oh, it's sparkle juice. Sounds exactly like what I want. You got to save it for a special occasion. Well, like a holiday or a birthday, probably when we've liberated the Ruth tomorrow, we will crack one open and celebrate. That's so good. Can you go sit at the table, please? Oh, take me to the table. OK, let's sit over that, guys. Oh, is Clover still being held by all? Yes, she's tiny and he's huge. She could hold her up forever. Just carry me. Cribs going to look back at the bar like one juice as well, please. Give me a second. On a scale of one to ten, how much are they going to hassle you for the juice?

Not the bartender. Bartender doesn't care. Oh, yeah, I know. They don't care. They're they're very much like I think you're going to the most you'll get is like, of course, it's a juice like that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, it's it's he'll ignore it. He's trying not to start something as much as possible. He's going to ignore it. He'll get his his drink as well as the juice and bring it over to the table and then pretty much chug the entire drink, put it down. And as everyone's sitting around the table. OK, OK, OK, OK. We're going to die, but that beside the point, I mean, you maybe.

That at this point, that'd be great. So Bao told us that we were being sent on a mission. Some of this I'm not able to fully share until we're out a little bit further. But with everything that's going on, we have to go find where a Ruth Mar is. We have to go break whatever sort of spell or whatever sort of hold is on a Ruth Mar. We got to try to negotiate a new contract. And then there's something in that cave that we have to retrieve. And then come back. How point of order. How do you break a spell? I'm good at breaking things. You are you're really, really good at that.

Magic or like. Well, one time, I had this thing that she said was magic and don't touch it. And I didn't touch it, but it's still broke. I like the thing it hold. And I don't get that count. Question. This is a meta question is based on you, Mindy. Is this like your. No, I just want it because that I brought back so many flashbacks. I got it. Touch that button, but it's like it's like you're the only one in your room and your desk, your keyboard. But it's always you know, I mean, like I just didn't know if this was like a close to your heart character. Christy says a little bit, but I don't think so.

Yeah, you're right. No. Yeah. I mean, 10 percent. I agree with Christy. So just needed to know that. OK, go. I'm not quite sure. We need to figure that out. To be honest, I don't know. OK. This doesn't involve reading, does it? I don't like that. Well, if nobody wants that, I can handle the powerful magics. It comes naturally to me. Oh, like what? He kind of leans in over the table. I can conjure shadow flame on command. That sounds pretty cool. It is shadow and light. How is the shadow not snuffed out? It's a good question. Makes you think, do you want to see so much?

OK. Like a whole lot. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. OK, don't. Not here. No, no, no, no, no, no, not here. Let's let's wait till we get out of town. Let's see if there's a library or or some sort of shop, magic shop or something that we can ask. As you guys are sitting here and as you guys are sitting here and you're chit chatting and it's kind of like you guys are leaning into the table kind of talk because it's like a secret mission. But like you're you know, I mean, the bar is not full yet. And as you guys are talking like that, that that evening rush is is slowly trickling in people coming in laughing, you know, having a good time outside.

You're going to hear several small explosions. And I think that's a fine time for us to stop. Oh, this evening. Oh, not the halfway point for the evening. I'm I'm afraid not. Words that cut. How dare you, Jason? I know. I know. Next time is next Wednesday. Yeah, but I know we got to we're going to catch up. It's my story and I want it now. But don't go anywhere because we'll be right back asking these guys some questions from our Discord server. A couple of people were nice enough to to send me some secret questions that I'm going to be asking you guys. So don't go anywhere.

We'll be right back. You guys want to answer some questions? Yeah, OK. Jesus. OK, so we got one from Reven. Thank you, Reven. So he asked a question and I want to put a bit of a twist on it because of this thing that came up earlier. I want to go down the line here and he wants to know your favorite comfort food. But after you say your favorite comfort food and why everyone else gets to rate that comfort food on a scale of one to 10. I see what you're doing. I'm not doing anything. I see what you're doing. I'm not doing anything. It's engagement. It's called engagement.

Yeah, that's all it is. It's just for the algorithm. There's definitely not a there's there's not a New York, Chicago thing about to happen. No, no. But first of all, Jersey Pizza is better than New York pizza, but whatever. New York just has better press. But, you know, that's fine. You can really taste the landfill in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. Chicago's super clean. Mandy, let's start with Mandy has no horse in this race. Nope. I'm like, I like a pizza. Comfort food, huh? OK. I like you guys are gonna be mean, but spam rice and eggs is my comfort food.

I mean, I, I can see it. I mean, I kind of grew up on it. Yeah. No, it wouldn't be like a favorite. But yeah, I could. Yeah. Every every time like every couple weekends, Mom would make it. It's just it's Hawaiian kind of thing. It's delicious. You need to have spam with rice because it's salty. So you get the rice and then eggs. What do you do with the spam, though? You just you slice it and then you fry it and fry it either with shoyu or you just fry it. You don't want to just take it out of the can because it's cold, but you could. It's edible. Just right out of the can.

Just eat that jelly meat. Just like. So do you just mix it with the other stuff or do you actually eat the spam? So you like, you know, slice it, you cook it and you just buy it a spam with some rice, then with some egg. OK, everybody on account of three, hold up how many fingers? Scale of one to ten. You'd give that meal one, two, three. OK, OK. It does sound like comfort rating. Like I can see how it's like an eight for you. It feels quick. Like it's a it's a fast, cheap meal. Like it's like a man. I don't feel like a lot of effort. Crack open that can of spam.

It keeps forever. No idea what spam tastes like. That's actually the truth. Even from the pre days when I was a vegan. No idea. I know the song. There's a song. About spam? Yeah. It's a whole Monty Python. Yeah. Monty Python. Sorry. Sorry. I thought you meant like a jingle. It's like I don't think I've ever seen a commercial. I mean, I'd love to write one if I had any talent. Xavier, how about you? This is literally a cliche because I'm from Quebec, but poutine. You know, I've never had it. I don't feel like I can properly judge it. Like I've heard nothing but good things.

And it's so like versatile. You can make it anyways. There's no wrong way to do it. Like, I mean, there's ways to make it so far removed that it's like its own thing. But I mean, as long as you have fries, gravy and some sort of curd like. There are some amazing vegan ones here in Montreal. There's like people are just experimenting. And as long as like those three criteria are met, it can be amazing. Nice. It's like what you want, though, is probably to have. There's two ways. There's the like Belgian style, like crunchy fries, like large crunchy fries soft in the middle.

Or the smaller, like brown and soft fry. That's kind of like a little a little solid mound of soft brown fries. Like a crunchy one is fun. Yeah. The other one is I would say the other one is like the more the bigger comfort of the two. Because it's also like the big like munchies type. I think you don't want that one. The messier you get sometimes, the more the more comfort. I just realized. Could you explain to everybody out there like what what is poutine? Poutine is as the legend goes, there's two towns who are fighting for the title of like two restaurants from two different towns are fighting for the title of inventor of poutine.

Nobody knows. And yeah, big thing. It's like a Chicago, New York thing. And basically, it's fries, brown gravy on it. I don't even know what it is. It's kind of like it's got this nutmeg-y like it tastes like it's brown. It's brown taste. It tastes like brown, guys. And then just cheese curds on top of it that will melt eventually. And you kind of get this because it starts not right. When it's presented to you, you if you eat it fast, you get your crunch, you get to your like the rubbery feeling. And the longer you take, then it becomes more like stretchy and softer.

And the gravy is kind of like integrated and everything. So you eat at your own pace kind of thing. But it will the experience changes as you go. I will say, though, because I've had it before. If you haven't had it and you have a chance to try it, try it. That's it's on my bucket list of foods. It's like, I got to try this, right? Like I it's really not complicated. I know. So I can't write this. I've never had it. I've heard nothing but good things. So I have had the benefit of having this. But the last time I had it was I've never actually been to Canada.

So I probably any time that I've had it, it wasn't the good, authentic stuff. And so, you know, it's like like the last place that I've had it twice. The first time I don't even remember. And the second time was in Mexico. So they it's probably less authentic in Mexico. It was a surprise. There's a lot of people who just like go abroad and just set up shops, too. So it's kind of like, OK, well, spread the poutine. It was it was it was reasonable food. Yeah. Ah, I did not hate it. On a scale of one on a scale of one to ten guys count of three. Hold up fingers one, two, three.

Oh, wow. All right. All right. All right. Man, I can't read it. I I'm very hungry, though. And you're describing it sounded great. So I think there's a good poutine place in Sacramento. But look around for recipes. Eggs. I have handy. I've I've look. I grew up in a family that couldn't afford ham. I get it. Like it's you know, you get that can and it's like, well, we got this. And then, you know, you hold it up, you open it up and it's not it's just I don't. I don't think I have the good feelings attached to it. So like I'm coming at it from a cold Vulcan logic.

This this meat has jelly on it thing. You know, OK, you got to admit it is not the most appealing can to open. It is not. My cats go crazy. That's not high praise. Fantastic. Ryan, your turn. Which one? Oh, sorry. The good one. Well, go ahead. Go ahead. Sure. Just fucking. I'll take that title then. Yeah, go. So mine is the baked mac and cheese. Oh, it's like the crumbles on top where it's still really gooey and cheesy and not just like the Velveeta cheese block thrown in, but where you take the shredded cheeses and you sprinkle that like that. If I see that at any sort of thing, I will get a full plate of that and not touch anything else.

Yeah. Just that you don't really need to describe it more like we were. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's universal. Like it transcends borders. I guess then everybody's scale one to ten. Let's rate it one judging your answers, by the way. Oh, geez. One, two, three. Give it a fine eight. That sounds fantastic. Yes. We're not judging this on health, right? Because like I don't feel. This is like, yeah, like it's just some food and health. Don't go with. You're right. You're right. I honestly was expecting something healthier from Xavier and I was like, oh, man, I'm going to feel guilty for my heart.

Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. Comfort. I almost had ramen, but it was like, hmm. I've never had proper. I've only had the little forty nine cent pouches of ramen. I've never had proper. True yourself. Ramen is a go to of I don't know anything else to cook for dinner or lunch. It is. Throw on ramen. Go get out of the restaurant. Have it served in the. There's a ramen place that threatens to open any day. But it's been a year and a half and I don't think they're coming. I mean, anybody. We're coming. Yeah. You got so full. They keep putting up a bigger and bigger we're coming.

But it never opens. It's like it's like, oh, motherfucker. There's so much ramen. But nothing happens. And it's quiet every time I get a haircut. And it's like, no, not today. If anyone's ever eaten at a ramen one oh one, I don't know if that's a change. Probably is a change. Is it good? No, I mean, I'm in one of the chat say, hmm, yeah. Oh, I'll be watching. Language. Mr. Hello. Hi. Comfort food. Comfort. All right. So I'm actually been having a hard time thinking it through because it changes. You know, it's like sometimes something just is like the perfect thing.

And I thought about doing the easy thing and arguing about pizza with you again. But I'm not going that route either. If it makes you feel better. Cool. So that's why I'm going with Pete. No, a good hot Italian beef sandwich. You put some hajar nair on top. You dip it in the au jus. Perfect. So good. Nice. So I know that that's not going to appeal to everybody for good, healthy reasons. And I think you're right in general and respect you. But it's too delicious to not love forever. This isn't about health. No, this isn't about. No, I respect other people's decisions.

But God, it's so good. I've never had that, though. It's so good. I that is a perfect I work. I work a blue collar job and I need a quick lunch. Lunch. It is so good. Yeah. No, I used to get shit like that. There was a great little Italian restaurant near the frozen warehouse I worked at. And holy shit, they they would just it's like, hey, I got you. They'd had that shit ready in like five minutes because they have it's so good. Someday when you're burning a lot of calories, you show, you know what? Give me the combo. Put the sausage in there to just go to just too much.

It's so good, though. French dip. It's it's not like like that is oniony. It's more lubricant than anything. It kind of is. Because it's like a big French roll style bun. It said there's a lot of bread in there, but there's a lot of meat there, too. And if you have it just right, the paper that's holding it is decaying because of how much as you would soak up. It's that's most Italian food. So like it's like if you ever get an Italian sub and like they put oil on that to lube up some of that meat. So it doesn't get stuck right here in the esophagus. So that's about it.

It's safety. That's honestly OSHA requirements. It's like you'll die from it, but not today. But exactly the hot the hot Jardinier hasn't sold oil on it, too. So really, you're kind of they're just helping that nice and smooth right down your throat. Nope. Yep. You honestly could just open your mouth like a duck and just massage this bit and just slide the whole thing in. That's what I do. That's the yeah. That's the like hot dog eating contest. Right. Yeah. Kawaiashi. Yeah. I got a 10 minute break. Let's get back. OK. I will say the hot Italian sausage has never on certain pizzas and stuff.

It's fine. I've I think I've always had old man belly and it just gives me such heartburn. It just gives me such heartburn. So personally, I'm going to have to knock a couple of points off that. But it is not because of taste. And it's definitely not personal. They do. Instead of getting the hot Jardinier with it, you can get sweet peppers instead. So I'm not a pepper guy. Can you just ground up some Tums on it and just like cocaine, just like drizzle it? OK. So last time I ordered it to be delivered, I ordered it to be delivered. Not only did they forget to dip it, instead of giving me the hot Jardinier, they put mustard on it.

I called the police on it. I called the police on him. It was the only thing to do. I'm pretty sure the police just shut them down immediately. That's a war crime. I OK. I went to get a cheesesteak one time and they I can close the screen share. I went to get a cheesesteak one time and they ran out of proper cheeses. So they're like, yeah, we just put like Monterey Jack and mozzarella on there. Is that OK? It's like, fuck, no, that's not OK. I was mad. Like I wasn't like I just why would you do that? Like, why would you bring this to me? This is what you bring.

So I don't know. But you got to be more shocked than anything. It's like, what? It's like, where's standards and practices? Scale went to ten guys. One, two, three. Hard to relate. But I try the plant based version. Spicy foods also. I mean, I like spicy foods that I just don't call them comforting for me. Sure. For me. The sandwich itself isn't the spicy part. It's the Jardinier that you put on top. That's the spicy part. So but but you know, sandwich, it's come to Chicago. I'll treat you. Yeah, I got to go. I got to go. I got to go and like maybe a little C2E2, something like that.

We got to go. I got to get up there to Chicago. Yeah, you do. OK, I'll go. And this I'm not going predictable. I'm going to go white guy taco night. And so again, this is not about health. Please don't judge me. But this is just to comfort. It's like, yeah, it's been a tough week. I'm going to make something terrible. So you get your ground beef. You season it up. A little garlic, a little garlic powder, a little onion powder, a little, you know, you get this going. And we're talking like 80, 20 ground beef, like nothing. Like we're not we're not trying to we're not running marathons after this.

And then what you do is you get your Doritos, Locos, dusted, hard taco shells. And then you have your refried beans smeared on a standard flour tortilla and then wrap that around and then fill that with ground beef, sour cream. You know, you got your Monterey Jack, your cheddar blend, something like that, and then you die. You got your crunch to squish. It's warm in the middle. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's slightly better than Taco Bell because it's homemade. It's not wet. You know, everything I ever got with Taco Bell has been wet. I don't know what they do.

It's they put it in this they put it in a see through plastic pouch and it just steams like I've never gotten anything crunchy from Taco Bell. Their chips aren't crunchy. I don't understand what they're doing. But that's that's it. Feel free to judge me on a scale of one to ten. One, two, three. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Wow. All right. We've bonded today. All right. Let's do one more question. Let's do let's do anything we don't get to today. I'm just going to throw it in the pile and get to because Cobalt sent us some good ones. Brian, Wonder Ducky three. So a little bit of a misunderstanding here, because he thought you guys were the first ones in.

So take that with a grain of salt while I read this. Hello, Pacbound. Given that you guys are the first group back in a new system for a new arc, how are you guys feeling? Yeah, you're the first. We're just going to throw the episode out that I have and we're just going to keep going. Yeah, it's true. I'll start first. We don't need editing. There was you got twenty four hours. Any apprehension about being the first to deliver a slice of cortex to us? Well, let's rephrase it. It's your first session. That's true. I mean, when we try to sit down the first time, we're going to be the first.

You were. Yes. Yeah. So we're going to and then so technical difficulty, another schedule, technical difficulty, another schedule, another technical difficulty. The COVID ran wild like Randy Savage through our house. Yeah. Oh, then there was the great nervous breakdown of last week when we were supposed to go live. And I was very briefly committed, but I got better now and then today. So fourth time's the charm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess the thing is, is that we've tried we've sat down several times attempting to record this. And one of those times we were going to be the first ones.

It was like December 18th. This is now a little over a month beyond that. But I remember sitting down that first time very, very nervous. I mean, even sitting down today, I was very nervous because it's I mean, not only is it you know, you're sitting down with a new group, you know, even though I know everyone here, it's different dynamics. And you're playing a different character. So you have to kind of go into it with a different mentality. But then you're throwing a whole new system kind of on top of all of that. And I know that, like, if I go to do a role and I mess that role up, there's not really going to be any judgment.

It's just, hey, let's change that to me. I'm like, oh, no, don't drop the ball. Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. Don't like that. Just repeating in my head that first night. And they were like, OK, well, we can't quite do it. So let's let's schedule something else. I was like, oh, OK. All right. I could breathe. And then just a cycle repeated every time we sit down. I guess it's less intense every time. Yeah. Like, it's like eventually it's like, you know what? You just see who cares? Like it's like your fifth, sixth go around. It's like whatever. We have time to like do our homework and study the primers and everything.

Like compared to our first excuse me, the first practice session we did where we were kind of like figuring out figuring out what the roles were as we're doing it. Like today, we didn't do as many roles we did in the practice fight, but we're like, oh, I'll me this and this. We're like, all right, you died. There you go. That's it. Yeah. No calculating. How is it to not have to calculate like spell safety use or fucking like I love it. I don't trust it. I'm really enjoying the system like it's it's a lot more free flowing. And especially for the character creation piece, I could go in with the mentality of this is what I want to create and I could create that exact thing.

I don't have to sit there and have a thought and then cater that thought to something else. And so I've that part is very refreshing. And beyond that, it's just getting used to the new dye system, essentially. And I think as time goes, I mean, we'll get more and more familiar with that and we'll be faster and faster. Honestly, we'll be getting to combat soon, I'm sure. But one of the coolest things is playing with some of the Patreon groups. I've had time to test it with them because they don't worry about episodes. So I've had time to test it with them where, you know, they've done two or three combats in a three hour session and had plenty of time for roleplay.

It's just it's you just get used to it. So I'm looking forward to it. Mr. Haywood. Hello. Any nerves about your first session? Is there anything you did good? I mean, it was serviceable like you did. I mean, you brought me on here. I believe your words to me were we need somebody to class the joint up a little bit and just really show everybody how to roleplay. That was what you told me. And it is. I believe you kept saying these chumps need to step up their game. And Ryan, it's on you. Put them on your shoulders. And I said, fine, fine. I believe that about me and Mandy.

But come on. I know. I gave you a big fat check for all that money. Yeah. No, wait a minute. That's a lot. No, just cash that check and we'll be. You don't know, but there's a void written on there. There's there's two things I've got going for me. One, I've played a lot of games with you, Jason. Mandy, several games with you. Those are two big things. And I've interacted with the rest of you enough. By the time we finally got this recorded, it wasn't like uncomfortable. It's like, all right, we're going to have fun. What it'll really turn the rest of the way around is when all of a sudden people start like sending little messages.

I hate the way you role play and you should die. That'll be the moment that it'll start to kind of change. That's like a rite of passage. OK. I want a message. Do I just show my feet on camera now or what? How does that work? Well, you have to be asked. Oh, I have someone approach you about. Don't be gauche. No, you know, they got to ask for feet. Pics. OK, so like you got to wait for it. Yes. OK. Yes. OK. Well, I mean, it's about here's the thing. It's about leverage. You know, if there's enough request for feeding picks, we'll open up a little thing on the page.

Like a fine. We'll put a footer on the Web site and check stuff out there. OK. Well, it's not going to get better than that, guys. So thank you so much. If you enjoy our stuff, please swing on by the Patreon. You can support. There's a clicky click somewhere around here and you can you can for as little as a dollar. Help us out. Help us put on more shows like that. And you get a bunch of extra content. What's not to love? But I am taking a job away from someone who has been predestined to do this. Mr. Xavier. Well, hold on. I have a question, Jason. Clicky click the technical term.

Yes. OK. That's what the voters refer to them as a clicky thing. They will. Yeah. Don't worry. It'll be labeled as such. And then you click. Yeah. Clicky click sense. Or if you're on a phone or tablet, a tapi tap. OK. Well, that that's all that's all my questions. Thank you. OK. Have nails and it's still clicky click. Oh, my. Well, how did you like it? The episode's over. Go home. But before you go, remember that you can catch us live every Saturday at seven p.m. Eastern and four p.m. Pacific time. Again, if you like what you heard, if you if you if you want more of that, just let us know it.

Hit us up on Discord. Join us is free and make sure to leave us a rating five star rating. You have to leave five star on iTunes or whatever platform you use for your podcasts. I'll be here nonstop until my next session so you can catch me on my live feed. Until then, sitting here and please have a good week and stay safe.