Pouches

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[clattering] [clattering] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+.

This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] Did... With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Only on Peacock. Howdy everybody, welcome to another brand new episode of Dungeons & Randomness. We got a bunch of stuff to get through today, but I would appreciate it if you didn't hit that skip button yet because I got a couple of really cool announcements.

First though, I wanted to talk to you about Downtime Manager. So, when you're playing a campaign, there's two big issues. One, obviously you're gonna want to do something with all that gold that you have, kind of burning a hole in your pocket. You're gonna want to train skills, you're gonna want to craft something. And sometimes you don't want to take up that time at a gaming table. You don't want to eat up a session, especially if you only get to play once a week or once a month. So, the answer is, I suggest you download Downtime Manager right now. It's on iOS, it's on Android, and it allows you to set up sessions where the entire party can do things in town and not have to be at the gaming table.

It's all right there on the app, and everybody has access to this information. For real, go check it out right now and tell me what you think of it, because I'm gonna be using it in this next week and I'm gonna be experimenting with a few things. I'd love to see what you can do with it if given a little bit of time. So go check out Downtime Manager right now. Second, I wanted to give a big shout out to MusicD20, who's allowed us to use some of their music, and we've been using it in the show. It's a ton to get through, to be honest. There are so many tracks, and it's really helped kind of spice up some scenes.

So thank you, MusicD20. We back them over on Patreon. I suggest you go check them out and do the same. Speaking of Patreon, obviously, patreon.com/dandr is how we keep the lights on around here. We really appreciate it if you go check that out. Listen to some behind-the-scenes stuff. Listen to Living in Tharia. Listen to New Bloods we're about to launch, and other New Bloods I believe this month. And last and certainly not least, Obsidian Portal. We're gonna be giving away a membership, actually, so if you're interested in that, send us an email at dandrpodcast@gmail.com and let me know what you'd use it for.

If you haven't checked out the site in a while, please do, because Obsidian Portal has a ton of stuff to help you keep track of your campaign and kind of share it with the rest of the world. July 17th, we will be at Great Escape Games in Sacramento, California. That'll be 1 p.m. PST, 4 p.m. EST. If you want to swing on by, meet the cast. A bunch of members of the cast are gonna be in town at the same time. We're gonna be signing books, we're gonna be doing a little meet-and-greet, and it's the first thing we've been able to do since COVID. So, July 17th, 1 p.m.

PST, 4 p.m. EST. Come check it out. And finally, August 28th, we are launching the second Kickstarter for our book series. It is The Adventurer's Guide to Tharia, Volume 2, T'Lor. There's gonna be tons of great stuff in the tiers, and a bunch of stuff in the stretch goals. We want to get that up higher than we did last time, and be able to do some really cool stuff. That is enough shilling for me. Stick around. We'll be right back with a brand new episode of Overseers. Let's do that thing! We'll be going over the table and here's ourselves. I'm Chase. I'm the Dungeon Master.

Going around the table starting with Valerie. Hello everybody, my name is Valerie, and I play Linda Wright, the human bard. And Jameson. Hi, my name is Jameson, and I play Cave Loring, the human warlock. And Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier, and I play Dr. Chapman, the Lizardfolk Rogue. And Jasper. Hello, I'm Jasper, I play Flos Valal, Warforged Barbarian. I have my notes here. I gave up at a certain point during our last session. I just stopped writing. But I remember! You have a bit of a situation back at base camp, back at the mine, but right now you're still in town.

You're still... it sounded to me like you guys were gonna maybe head back soon. Like it feels like you had maybe something to wrap up in town and then... Am I right? Am I guessing right? Yeah, I think we had a couple orders of business to finish up and then we wanted to get out of here as quick as we could. So I think when we leave the building, basically, Cave just like gets outside, turns around, looks at the group and says, "Okay, I want to go find the Ruby guy, because I think we need somebody to make sure that the Rubies that we're pulling are of the right value before we give them up to individuals.

So let me go find him. Who wants to come with me? Who has other stuff to do? We gotta go. Like real soon." Before I answer, are we being followed and escorted by the Clamato clan goons? No. The Clamato family is a trusting bunch. You're fine. People are gonna come with us back to... what's it called, right? Those guys? Are we just gonna pick them up when we leave, being like, "Hey, we're headed out now?" They're keeping an eye on you enough to know whether you're leaving town. Okay. But they're not gonna be... they're not... they're not loomers. They're not gonna, you know...

They're not tailing us. Yeah, no. That's silly. It's gauche. Chapman's gonna like... Oh, sorry. I was just gonna make a pun. You're fine. Sorry. You're just... we're just leaving the building and Chapman's already trailing behind like slow... slower than everybody else. So he's like, "I'm just... I'm just gonna go back to the four roof... four walls in the roof and I'm just gonna slow you down. Just come and grab me when you're ready to leave." You get the cart ready? I'll get the cart ready. There you go. You got a job. Cave will turn to Floss and Linda and be like, "Did you guys have something you needed to do?

Who wants to come with me? What's... you know, let's divide and conquer here." I'd like to come with you Cave and Floss, I know you mentioned going to the library, learning about a bunch of different stuff. So you can do that while Cave and I go talk to... Slut... Slutmouth. I just wanted something similar. Sure. For a second I thought you said Slutmouth and I was like, "Wow!" Next town over. Floss will look very, very excited about that and he's going to show off that he actually has made a list. So he's gonna say, "Yes!" and he's gonna point at his crumpled up piece of paper in his hand.

What's the list say? Oh, it's a list of things that he wants to go find out at the library. So he'll do, "Yes! Oh, the library! Yes, of course!" and he's gonna sort of point at his crumpled up list. Oh, no, no, no. I know that. Does anything stick out to the group, would you say? Oh, I don't even think they can see it. It's all crumpled up in his hand. It's just something sort of scratched out. Okay. So it's honest. He's just basically saying, "Yes, I'm excited. Yes, of course. Perfect." And in fact, I think that's been his plan the whole time is, "Let's get this mob stuff out of the way.

I've got to go to the library. You guys can take whatever you... take care of whatever you need to." Great job, Floss. I love seeing you take initiative and make a list for yourself. It's very organized. I am very impressed. Floss will look completely like he's... well, like the laboratory receiver that he is. His tail, his emotional tail is gonna wag. Let's go with... Just before we all split up, Chapman would make a point to put both his hands in the begging position to Linda. Kind of goes, "Can I get it back, please?" Referring to the bracelet. Oh, was it given to me?

I'm assuming you took it. Oh, yeah, no, of course. I thought you already had it back, actually. So, yes, she gives that to you. No problem. He gingerly takes it and would hop away if he could. He's very excited. So we have three interesting things to tackle. I want to do Floss first, and then we're just gonna roll through these. So, Floss Library. It's the only library on this island. That being said, there's a pretty decent collection of books here. It's probably not as comprehensive as you'd like, but we'll see what we can do. What are you looking for specifically when you go in?

Oh, so Floss is going to go straight up to the door. Can you describe what this is like? Is this a single-level public neighborhood library? Is this something that's got multiple floors on it? Anything like that? It's a two-story building. It's fairly modest in that it almost looks like a really big general store, something like that. But it's kind of the most decorated building in town, just because it probably gets the most use, strangely enough. It's like a general store, something like that. There's a weird, rich history with Atheist, and it's very Witcher-esque in that it's like, "I don't know what that is or does.

I should go look it up" type of thing. So if you're looking for info on beasts or curses or, let's say, the trees coming to life at night and flaying the skin off of people, that type of thing. Great. This is perfect. So Floss is going to go up. Maybe there's a few steps that go up to the big doors or something. This is early morning. I think the sun at this point is probably just coming up. It's going to be this moment where Floss feels comfortable. Library is his domain, as messed up and Swiss cheesy as his mind is. This is his element in a strange way.

He's going to start to knock on the door just about, and then he's going to stop. He's going to turn around and put his hands on his hips. And sort of just look off into the distance at the horizon of the sun coming up, and he's going to feel like he's arrived. He's going to take a big, deep... He's going to turn around and just... Then he's going to open the door, and he's going to walk inside. He's excited. Yeah, no, you're going to get a solid look of, "What the fuck is wrong with... It's a library. Knocking to see if they're open. Fine. I don't know what that was." It's pure excitement, and then he realized he could just open it, so he went in.

I'm assuming that there's probably not many patrons at this point. No, no, no. And that is not the point. So there is the stereotypical librarian. Older woman, glasses way down her nose. She is the bookkeeper. She is in charge of guarding all this stuff. There is not enough civilization, let's say, on Atheist to care about things like libraries. The funding for that is way down and more on security and general goods, getting things into the island, that type of thing. So she's going to give you a look as you walk in. There's no one else in the library, so you're not going to get a shush.

But it's very much like... It's like 6.30 in the morning. Can you... Yeah, probably... This is prep time. Like, quiet prep time for a while, and he's just going to walk right up to the desk. "Good afternoon. Are you the steward of this place?" Now you're going to get a shush. Now you're going to get like a... And she'll... Because you're a Warforged, there's probably like... It's like, okay, well, maybe there's a translation barrier or something. Maybe, you know... "Yes, I run things here. Can I help you?" "Ah, yes. Well, hello, steward. I may need a bit of assistance finding some information about the history..." He's going to try to get quiet, but it's going to be the kind of thing, just like a kid, because I've got these two little six-year-olds.

They get quiet, but then it just comes right back up after a few seconds. I have a brie. I know. "Okay. I'm looking for some information about the history of Atheist, yes? It seems like I've come to the right place. Topics I'm interested in include..." And he's going to sort of point as though he's suggesting she write this down. She may or may not. No, she'll... Yeah, she'll... It's like, okay, she's got her ink and quill. "It's Miss Barnes." Miss Barnes. Steward Barnes. Fantastic name. "Topics I'm interested in include, but may not be limited to..." And he's prompting her to start writing.

"Druids, druidic curses, belligerent trees or vegetation, someone named Haman Hale, a place called Twin Oaks Mining Company. This..." And he'll hold up his hammer and go... And he'll say, "The extraction and overall value of rubies, lost and/or hidden, dwarven colonies and/or reasons behind them being lost and/or hidden, the construction of massive arcane doors with deadly lock mechanisms, the deconstruction of massive arcane doors with deadly lock mechanisms..." Rings that involve ice. And at that point, he's going to push over the little rubbing that he made of the whatever symbols that might be on it.

He's going to keep talking to magic rings that involve ice, magic rings that are cursed, the removal of cursed magic rings, the mob, weaknesses of the mob, how to dismantle a mob, how to become a mob. And finally, "Does the name Flos Valal come up anywhere in your research? And do you have any intel, how should I say it, illicit transference of souls from one body into the construct of a war forged?" Oh, and this. And he's going to slide another note over. This is a crumpled piece of paper. And on this note, it has a message on it that he did not write.

And I'll tell you what it says. It says, "It's absolutely imperative that you find both carbon and dire if this plan is ever to succeed. You have more time than it might seem, but you'll need help. Good luck." That's all it says on this and who knows. And then he's going to say, after she's sort of written all this down, "I'm afraid we don't have much time, so let me know what this might take to have in hand." And then he'll just stare at her. "Look, Mr..." "Valal?" Archmage Valal? "If you're an Archmage, then you understand the value of research and how long it takes.

The list you've handed me could take our entire staff weeks." "I'll prioritize. Would that help?" "That would help immensely." "Can you pick three things out of your list that I can go look up for you?" He's going to look a bit disappointed. In just a moment, he's going to turn around and do some math on his fingers. For probably longer than she's expecting. He's going to turn back around after a while and say, "Magic rings with ice. The name Flos Valal..." "Is that VA?" "Yes, of course, the apostrophe. Very well done." "It's in a lot of the names here, so I just..." "Oh, great.

Fantastic. Yep." "Anything you might know about lost dwarven colonies?" "Okay. If you can give me a couple of hours to get some things together, I'd be happy to let you read all day here if you like, or check some books out if you promise to take good care of them." "Anything you have would be helpful. Just to add to the list, anything about the note of carbon and dia, just let me know if that rings any bells. I'll just be over here." He's going to take two steps to the side and he's going to kind of shut down. "Okay, that is unsettling. I am going to go get books now.

Just kind of like, just go about her job." "Let's catch up. Let's catch up with the Doc Chapman here. So you got your bracelet back. You're going to get your vehicle ready and is there anything you want to do while you're kind of setting up?" "Yes. So I make sure I set up the card first. If anything happens, at least that'll be done and Linda will be proud of me." "Jason, I read the Adventurer's Guide to Theria, but I kind of want to hear it from you." "Thank you!" "So Lizardfolk have this bracelet that they can do a ritual. It takes 10 minutes, at least in the book, to re-put their costume back on.

So they do a 10 minute ritual to become Dr. Chapman again." "There's also another thing that implies it can randomize the features of the disguise and that takes a whole day, I believe?" "It's basically, yeah, it's most of a day just to basically, like, oh, my cover's blown. I need a new identity. It's like you're checking yourself into Witness Relocation." "Yeah. So what would this Lizardfolk have to do to go about?" "This Witness Protection Program." "So you're still in the armor, right?" "Yes." "The cool thing is, this can all take place while you're in the armor and no one can see in there, so sweet.

So if you were to just climb on the cart and start this ritual, you could sit there for hours and..." "So I don't need to spill blood and write runes in the ground or anything? It's more of a meditative thing?" "Yeah, honestly, this entire ritual was created to help you blend in and Lizardfolk have a hard enough time doing that, so the whole spilling blood and all that would not help." "That's true. Well then, he'll just be shutting down just like Floss would, sitting in the cart and probably working on that and waiting for the rest of the group as best as he can." "And I'd like to roll for those random features during this call if the time comes." "Oh, the time will come.

So I do have, dare I say, I have several tables. And yeah, we're gonna roll for that when everybody gets back to the cart, so you should be done. We'll just simulate hours going by." "Cool beans." "Let's catch up with Cave and Linda. So you're looking for a guy named Slitthroat?" "Sure are." "A guy like that kind of stands out here because this is not a real rough and tumble. These are kind of salt of the earth people. They're not very ostentatious. They don't show off very much. Very common folk. So a guy named Slitthroat kind of sticks out." "So if you were to ask around, he'd be like, 'Ugh, that guy.' Which is exactly the right response, honestly.

So they point you down a specific alleyway in between a couple of buildings. And I need both of you to please give me a perception check." "I'm very good at that." "I'm not." "Well, doesn't really matter." "Yeah, nevermind. That's a 9 and a 12. But you're not gonna see it, but I'm gonna tell you. In the shadows of this alleyway, he's gonna see you coming and quickly duck down behind some crates so that he can make a dramatic entrance when you walk into the alley proper." "So when you guys get about halfway down the alley, he's going to step out. This dude is trying very hard.

He's dressed head to toe in leather, but not like the standard, you know, durable leather that you see. This is like a shiny black. He's wearing a full duster made of this. He's wearing head to toe leather with these bandolier-like pouches all over him. You can see the ends of knives tucked in everywhere, right? And across the other side of his chest is just quickload crossbow bolts that he can just jam into a special crossbow that he has and fire off six rounds over and over and over again. This dude has spent a lot of time, energy, and money cultivating his je ne sais quoi, if you will." "So I feel like when we're walking down the aisle, Cave and Linda are chatting about like, 'Okay, well, we gotta get this done and don't forget this and I gotta write a memo about this, blah, blah, blah, blah.' And then when this guy steps out, Cave drops, like just stops and goes, 'Oh, that's so cool.'" "Linda's gonna lean over to Cave and out of the side of her mouth, she's gonna say, 'This smells like a boss fight.'" "Like, triple take it heard, like, just be like, 'That was out of nowhere.'" "Was she looking at the camera?" "So it's gonna take a minute.

I assume is he just kind of like posing menacingly in our direction or..." "Is he gonna pop and go, 'Yah!'" "No, no, no, he's gonna stand up and when he does, he flourishes his right hand to kick out the duster over the crossbow bolt harness he has. So he's kind of standing there with his hand on that and just, 'What do you want?'" "Mr. Throat, I presume." "So this dude is human. However, he has clearly painted his face and hands a bit. Not... It's almost Drowface. It's almost. Like, he's trying to be extra menacing, so he has like this helmet on, and instead of just darkening the area around his eyes, he just kept going and it's everywhere now." "So it's kind of...

It's more bluish, dark purple. So it's still probably too close to racist, but like not the intention. He's just an idiot. And just, yeah." "He's cosplaying, yeah." "It's to blend in with the shadows." "Mmm." "So listen, we don't have a lot of time, but we were told that you might know a thing or two about rubies and the procurement of and getting rid of and valuation of therewith." "Pfft." "He makes a face like, 'Mmm.'" "I did four semesters at Geology College." "Huh? Okay, cool. That was, um... Yeah, alright, great. So, um, do I still have that friggin' grapefruit-sized ruby? 'Cause I'll just like palm it and be like, 'Hey, so what can you tell me about this?'" "He's, so almost like a dog, like tilting his head.

It's like, like, he's gonna just like flourish the duster again so that it kicks out almost like a cape and he's going to walk towards you. He's no longer threatening to shoot you." "But everything... Okay, have you ever seen Grandma's Boy? Does anyone know that movie that I'm talking about? Shit, okay, it's fine. But there's a character in there who's basically cosplaying the Matrix at all times and is just insufferable because it's like, 'Come on, just be a person. Like, just stop.'" "So he's kind of like an edgelord?" "Oh, not kind of. Like, absolutely an edgelord." "Okay, gotcha." "Okay, imagine..." "I hate him." "Imagine if someone was the lead singer in a pop punk band in 2007, but was just that all the time.

It's just Black Parade every day, all day, all the time. When he's sitting down eating a sandwich, when he's watching Real Housewives, all the time. So..." "His favorite movie is The Crow." "Oh, God, yeah." "It's a good movie." "This is like an adult, right?" "Yes, an adult." "It sounds like he's 15." "I mean, there are..." "He's funnier if he was, too." "Look, there are sad adults. There's plenty of them." "He's gonna walk up, 'Can I hold it?'" "I look behind him. Is there another exit to this alleyway, or is it like a fence or something?" "Well, there's a bunch of crates stacked up, but you can jump over those if you wanted to go through him." "I wouldn't recommend it." "No, I'm just looking at it like, is he gonna take this thing and just, like, peace out?" "Anybody, especially in this world, anybody who spent that much time studying a subject wants to show off.

They want to... they want... Otherwise, why'd he take out all those student loans?" "Like, it's just, you know, he's gonna take this, and he's got, like, a jeweler's eye, basically." "It's very... it's a very expensive tool." "And he's going to kind of, like, walk past you a little bit from where you came and kind of, like, hold it up to the sun." "And he's gonna, like, flip this over and, like..." "Where did you find this?" "Well, I'm not gonna tell you that quite yet, but I'm gonna tell you this. There's a lot more of them where this one came from, and we need somebody who's gonna help us get rid of them in exchange for lots and lots of money." "And this person who would help us do that would also, of course, be getting lots and lots of money." "But first, I would need that person's agreement to terms before we took them back to where these things are quite literally just falling out of the walls." "He's gonna hand you the ruby back.

As a little sign of trust." "Kid makes an impressed face, like, 'Hmm, I didn't have to kill you to get it back. That's good.'" "Do you have any idea what that is?" "Well, I didn't take four semesters of geology, but I think it's a ruby." "Oh, it's much more than a ruby." "If he had glasses, he'd be doing the... Oh my God." "Like the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the Jurassic Park." "The Jurassic Park!" "The Jurassic Park!" "The Maris!" "What I did last episode, but faster. I mean, slower." "Yeah." "That, my friend, is a ghost ruby." "If you hold it up to the sun and look through this..." "There's a center that no other ruby in the world has." "Do you know what that is?" "Nougat." "A ghost." "He's going to look at Linda...

Bingo." "There's only one place in the world that I know of that has these particular types of rubies." "Honestly, they're invaluable. I thought they were a myth until just now." "Before I tell you my place, what's your place?" "You're standing in it, friend." "No, I mean where the rubies are." "Oh." "Where's the place where you think the rubies are?" "Sorry, we got... I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be cool." "That's fine. That's... it's... we just met." "I didn't have a location of the actual cave, but I know an atrocity was committed there." "Dwarf on dwarf, brother against brother." "The rumor goes that there was nearly a genocide committed." "And the souls of these dead dwarves were supposedly put into the walls of the cave itself and it infested jewels, minerals, you name it." "Huh.

He's kind of look over the ruby in his hand and be like, 'Can I sell this now?'" "There goes our plan if we can't sell these, but..." "Do you ask if..." "Are these to be used as normal rubies? I mean, if they're one of a kind, did it then just become showpieces?" "Or are they haunted?" "Also that..." "But he's like, 'Well, they're not one of a kind. You said you have them falling out of the walls.'" "Well, yeah, but is each one priceless, like you said?" "I mean, I wouldn't buy them, but..." "Because they're haunted." "Plenty of people. Haunted is..." "Do you believe in the afterlife?" "He's gonna gritty it up about 20 percent." "Linda's gonna sort of look up and say, 'Well, seeing as I have died, um, no.'" "No." "I mean, she did die like two days ago, but glossing over that, um..." "I have, on the other hand, distinct, uh, evidence that there is an afterlife, so no belief necessary." "Been in contact.

Not cool." "Well, I used to tour the continent visiting places. I used to give tours to people who were looking for a little excitement." "I'd yell at ghosts and chase them out. Just jump into the bushes, scatter them out for the plebes." "Linda's like judging this man so hard, and he can see all over her face." "I want him to, I want her to know that he knows that she doesn't like him." "I mean, it's not a out-of-the-ordinary reaction. I'm sure he's got it before." "Like, he was like this in school. Like, like, there was, like..." "I've never been to college, but I've heard enough stories of weirdos who show up in geese or fuckin', you know..." "Yeah, it's, it's just, yeah." "I would be honored if you would allow me to appraise your cave." "Quick question.

If I busted this open, would a ghost, like, come out of it, or..." "You're asking him?" "Yeah." "No, that's, that's not how that works. It's, it's not an egg." "Okay, I don't, I, listen, I don't know. You said it had a ghost in it, so I'm just trying to get it out of there so I can sell this ruby, you know?" "Just, look, it's a selling point." "Anybody who'd be willing to put it, it's, the reason it's invaluable is because once you're out of those rubies, that's it. There's no more. No more in the world." "Okay. Hey, can I..." "And he, like, gestures for his, um, for his little, his jeweler's lens and be like, 'Can I, can I see?

I haven't seen this yet.'" "Yeah, be careful." "I'll be careful." "He pulls up to the sun and looks through it." "It's, so, I'm guessing that, that Cave has, at least, I, I don't know. How, how closely have you studied jewels or gems before?" "Well, I mean, I imagine that since we, since I've been at the mine, we haven't had any." "That's, yeah, I don't, I don't know if there was a time in your life before the mine." "No." "So, holding this up, it's, it's fairly translucent, and in the center there's this kind of like a, like a sparkle to it, like, um, like a really cool resin dice, like something like that, like there's, you know, and you're guessing that's the bit that's like, oh, that's, that's, that's new, that's, you know." "That's the ghost, cool. So he'll just kind of make a face like, all right, that's, that's something, and then we'll hand the lens back and be like, so, we can, we can walk and talk on our way back.

We're leaving, like, very soon though, so if you need to, like, get anything, but I'll tell you what we're, what we're looking at here, so, and he'll go into the backstory of like, so, we have this mine, we found these rubies, we also found probably the atrocity that you spoke of, we'll deal with that another time, but before we do that, we actually have two other problems. We have money that is owed to a certain organization here in town, they would like a small amount of these rubies to pay off that money, and that's the main thing that I'm looking for your help with, is how much of these rubies do we have to give them, no more, no less, before they leave us alone. Secondly, our mine was just attacked by a rival mine, and we need to go there first to rescue our people and some of the rubies that they stole from us.

Possibly, and he'll kind of look at him over as he's armed to the teeth, possibly with extreme violence. I don't know if you're comfortable with that kind of thing, but that's what I'm going to do, is lots of violence. So if you want to be in on that too, maybe a little bonus in whatever pay we work out. Firstly, I imagine you're talking about the Clamados. Like, too, the conspiracy, like, look over his shoulder. Yeah. How much do you owe them? Out of character, I don't remember how much. I think it's 11,000. 11,000, okay. Yeah, 11,000. You could easily just give them that ruby, and honestly they should give you change.

Okay, so let's go and find a smaller ruby. But there's another problem. I only travel at night. Okay, listen, I'm gonna need you to like stop now, because it's... I love it. I love it. I get what you're doing. I get it. Don't. Can you just... Don't for like a little bit. Kay, just keep making a face at Linda like you're being so rude. She has sunglasses on. He can't tell. I mean, the words coming out of your mouth are an indication. Remember when Linda was supposed to be nice? Yeah. When she was supposed to be like customer service. Yeah, I'm not exactly sure what you mean.

He's kind of looking at you like it's to be more specific. Uh, uh, the... Where do I start? You know what? Never mind. She's going to turn around. She's... She's going to... She's wearing white. And she already has her sunglasses on. So she's going to turn back around. She's going to look exactly the same. She's going to say, um... Now listen here. Bud. We have a limited amount of time in this town. And there's only so much we can do. I only travel during the day. And we're giving you these rubies. So you gotta be the one that changes for us. Wait, if it helps, we can put you like under a blanket or something.

Trying to like cut the tension. He's... Yeah, no, it's... All of a sudden it's just weirdly like... It's weird. It's got a weird vibe to the conversation now. He's gonna... He's gonna look at Cave. I don't like to use these types of words. But your friend's being a bit of a bee. Okay, well my friend is actually my boss and if you take this job, she's your boss too. So she gets to be how she wants to be. He's gonna flip up the collar on his duster. And the collar comes up to like fucking forehead levels. I suppose I can make do. He's gonna produce a big like undertaker type hat and put it on...

Like it is... Fucking bash the sampede. And he's gonna tilt it forward. I'm gonna go handle your Clamato problem. What does that mean? What are you gonna do? Yeah, we're like... I think we're friends with them now. What are you... Do you know the Clamatos? Get back here. Like turn around. [Laughter] Yes. We've been introduced before. Okay, so listen. I don't know what you have planned. But first of all, you're taking this gig. You run it by the two of us first. Secondly, Clamato's sending some knee breakers to come help us with our other problems. So if you're gonna do or say something that prevents that from happening, I'm gonna politely decline.

And I will unpolitely decline. He's sending people with you. Well, I imagine just as much to make sure that we do our thing. But he knows about the situation at the mine. He knows we need to regain control in a hurry. And so he's sparing a couple folks to come help us do that. Just so I understand. He's sending enforcers back with you to your mine. Yeah, I feel like that's what I said. Yeah. Right. With all of your rubies there. Oh, are you saying that he's gonna have his guys steal the rubies? Oh, after he kills you, yes. I thought we were getting along and she's gonna look at Cave.

I thought it went pretty well. I didn't get that sense at all. They seem nice. Listen. Cards on the table. I've dated someone in the Clamato family. You can't trust them. If they don't break your legs, they will break your heart. Or take your calves. That doesn't seem like... see, I got talking to this one guy. Where's Timothor? Timothor! I love him! I'm sorry. Having that name come up casually is so weird. Where's my good buddy Timothor? Yeah, where's my good buddy Timothor? I thought we were getting along great. If he was gonna turn around and stab me in my sleep, I'm gonna be kinda sad about that.

He's a paid cop. He's not one of the goons. Oh, that's true. He's... Yeah, he's on the take. He's not a shot caller. We agreed to have him come with us, though, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. Cool. Well... Here's why I'm not real worried about that. 'Cause we're going to that other mine first to get back what's ours. And they're gonna help us with that. Because if they don't do that, then they don't get the rest of what they want. And once that's dealt with, maybe that'll be a good time to have a little heart to heart. But that extra muscle between here and there probably would be valuable.

And I'm a one-problem-at-a-time type guy. So, basically, I need people who are made of blood to put in front of me to absorb knife pokies. You know? I assume you know what you're doing. He makes a face like, "Uh..." The bottom line is, I'd be happy to help you with your problems. Honestly, I never thought I'd... I never thought I'd be a part of something so... unique. Excellent word choice. Linda, do you have any other objections, questions, comments, concerns? Yeah, I'm just a little... Confused about what your role is. You're just going to appraise the rubies.

Like, do you have any channels that we could go through in terms of linking us up with people to sell them to? Or do you just want to look at them for a little bit? I don't really know what's going on there. Thank you. Right, but we also have ties with the Klamato family. Like, we're tight. We're good. No, but the bindings they're going to put your arms and legs in will be tight. You have something they want. Let me guess, you literally just met them. No? No. We didn't. Give me a deception check. I have. Okay. Fuck. Oh! A three! You literally just met them. I don't think so.

You smell like their restaurant. Did you have the garlic bread sticks? Scrambled eggs. My point is, you have something one of a kind. I'd like to see you profit from that. As long as I'm a part of it. Again, I am honored. I can help you sell them. More importantly, I can tell you what they're worth. Yeah, I mean, hey Linda, we are, and he'll kind of like make a, like a wink face and be like, "We're a little short staffed as it is." I think maybe, probably a good idea to have an expert with four semesters of geology training take a look at our big red ghost rocks.

You know, Cave, maybe you're right. You know, we just met these people. We just met this man. But judging by his look, and his vibe, I think he's trustworthy. Yeah, and you know what, Mr. Throat, if you do have a connection, you know, a relationship with these Clamato guys, maybe on the trip you can maybe put a little bug in their ear to not kill us when we get back to the mine. And maybe this becomes a relationship that everybody benefits from. Yeah, like a three-way. Yeah, no point to Linda, like, "See? I've always wanted to be part of a three-way." I can't think that.

That's illegal. I'll see what I can do. For now. And he's going to tilt his head forward. "I'll follow your lead." Yeah, alright. And he'll just walk past him. Bye-bye. And I guess we're going back to the cart, because we've got no other business to take care of. Let's check back into the library really quickly. You're going to be handed a small pile of books. And I guess if you're still powered down, she'll like gently knock on your chest. Yeah, just like a "I don't know how to..." Yeah, he'll be very responsive. He's just not moving between... Right, yeah, no, it's just like, "What do I do?

Is this rude? I don't know what's rude." But she'll hand you about seven books here. And there are more people in the library at this point, so she's going to lead the conversation by kind of like whisper talking, and hope you pick up on that. Okay, I've placed bookmarks in several places. There are passages, chapters that I think might be relevant to you. But I didn't have a lot to go on. More key phrases and words, so I hope this is of some use. I also have the rest of your list, and I'll work on that in case you come back through town. He'll be holding the stack of books and sort of pushing them together, sort of looking at all the spines at once, just like marveling at the work.

He responds, "This is far more information than I had not long ago, so thank you very much. This should take care of everything, for now." There's just a question of if it's okay to borrow these books. You see, we're kind of on a tight schedule. Could I bring them back and then perhaps find out more information from the list? I usually don't like books leaving, but if you promise to bring them back in exactly the same condition that I loan them to you in, do you promise? I promise to try. Give me one moment. She's going to come back with this almost like a slightly translucent sheet of paper.

You have to sign them out. Is there one big place for his signature? Not quite. She's going to press this up against your chest and rub. Ooh. And then she's going to... it's like a stick-on tattoo. Ooh. And she's going to kind of peel it back. And there's going to be this little marking on... it's about two inches by two inches, something like that. But there is kind of like a protective bubble around a book. Mmm. All right. You have three weeks to read them as much as you want. If I don't get these books back in three weeks, that will tear your body limb from limb.

He's going to look down and sort of tap at it with his finger to see if it hurts or feels like anything. Oh no, not at all. And it doesn't touch. I'm sure it's just more like a temporary tattoo or something. Yeah. And then he'll look right back up in her eyes with as much of a grin as he can give her and say, "That should be just fine. Thank you." And he will just pile them under his arm and wave and walk out and head back to the cart. So... I... Oh, go ahead. So just before we get to the cart, does Cave and Linda want to discuss a bit about their interaction before we talk to everybody else?

Uh, yeah, we can. I mean, if Slitthroat is walking far enough behind us that we can have a candid conversation, then I think that's fine. Oh, is he... I don't think... is he following us? He is running from alleyway to alleyway as you guys walk through town. I think we're okay. Yeah, you're fine. Okay, well, Linda wants to say a few things to Cave before we start discussing it with everybody. Okay. So as we're walking back, she's going to say, "I don't... do you trust this guy? Like, I feel like we had such a positive experience with the mob." And I don't like this man.

So here's the way I'm looking at it. Not to say that I'm right, because I'm right roughly 20% of the time, but here's my take on it. The mob are professional criminals. Which means that, among other things, lying is not outside their skill set, I guess. They're likely to be doing that at any time as criminals. Where is this guy? And he'll kind of gesture to him like doing his own little... Like, "da da da." This Mission Impossible thing, and he'll be like, "So this guy is probably the most honest person I've ever met. There's nobody who could act like this and not be 100% surface level, hard on his sleeve.

There's no way. This isn't, like, I mean, I don't get the sense that this is an act, do you?" I think he doesn't think it's an act. That's my point. He is too dumb to be lying to us. And maybe not dumb dumb, but you know what I mean. Just kind of like... Yeah, those four years of geology school. Or four semesters, sorry. Not four years. Not even four years. But like, so a guy like that believes everything he says. Because he's gotta. Because if he doesn't, then he understands how ridiculous it all is and it all falls apart and he gets depressed. I'm not speaking from experience or anything, shut up.

But that's why I trust him. Because there's no way a guy like that would lie to us unless he wanted us to know that he was lying to us because it was for effect or something stupid like that, right? I... Maybe the other, maybe the Clamato guys are being honest too. And if that's the case, that's great. Because everybody's being honest with us. And that's refreshing. But if anybody's lying to us, I'm gonna say it's not him. And points to him as he like dive rolls over a barrel or something. But that's just me. I mean, listen, if we want to keep an eye on him and if there's something that doesn't strike you right once we get to the mine, I will 100% throw him in the hole.

You just say the word. But I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt if that's cool with you. No, yeah, I don't... I guess it's not that I don't think he's dangerous or anything. I... It's just kind of... I thought we had a moment with the, you know, Clamatos. And if they were lying to us, I'd be... I'm not gonna lie, I'd be pretty upset about it because I thought we had like a moment and, you know, the voices thing. Fun. A fun thing we did there. Well, I think you actually really insulted him, which might have probably hurt our case. But here's the thing.

And he's gonna do the conspiratorial like look over both shoulders again, which is ridiculous in his huge armor, right? But he'll then lean over to Linda and be like, I have no plans of letting the Clamato family continue to run things. Just... Like... Like at all? Our first problem is Harmon Hill. Our next problem is Joey Clamato. So let this be the way it is for now. If they end up being what Slitthroat says they are, then we know what we have to do. We solve it the same way we're about to solve our first problem, right? Okay. You've... You've... Your playtime is higher than mine.

So... I trust you. Cave is gonna stare at her for a full minute. With the full like... Like actively trying to work out what that means. But eventually like she's moved on so he'll move on too and just be like okay. And by then perhaps we're at the cart or approaching the cart. Oh yeah. You see Chapman laying in the back and say, get up. What are you doing? Honestly about that time, Floss will be getting back to like I feel like the timelines would pretty much overlap. Good. We have a... We have a mine to rescue. So we better get on the road. We need... We need those knee breakers.

Where are they at? And he'll be kind of glancing around. Oh and by the way, this is Slitthroat. He'll point to whatever he's doing. Slitthroat at this point, you're far enough on the outskirts of town that Shade is becoming an issue. And at this point he would have run up next to the cart and ducked down. I'm going to go get my horse. Your what? My horse. Oh your horse. Okay. Get my... Yes. Horse. Okay. Go get your... Go get your horse. Slitthroat will be here. And he's going to look both ways and then... I don't want to say Naruto run, but like there's a strange just kind of like...

Like he's like... Like there's momentum to his like, oh, like he's ducking out of frame almost like that's how he moves. He's like, oh, he's moving away. Yeah. So I look to Chapman and Floss and be like, that's our guy. He's already given us more information on the rubies than we had previously. So I'm willing to put up with that for a while. I hope you guys are too. Well, he kind of looks like us to be honest. Was he not here before? Anyway, he'll just put the books down. He's moving on. He thought he was part of the party already. So he's going to just put the books down at the back of the cart and start making a place for him to have a little nook on the ride home.

Cool. So it sounds like we're just prepping the wagon and waiting for the knee breakers and then we're going to get going. Do the knee breakers have their own stuff that they're bringing or are they going to hang out on the cart with us? They're bringing their own transportation. They have a cart and they're going to follow you from a good distance, mostly just to keep an eye on you, make sure you're going where you say you're going. But they're not traveling with you. After a few moments, this pitch black steed is going to come cantering up to the party and it has this bright white mane kind of swooped over one of its eyes.

And its tack and harness is covered in spikes. Like it is on the outside. Nothing's being spiked into the horse. It's just... and he's going to purposefully make it rear up as he gets next to you. This is Nightmare. Of course it is. Yeah, that makes sense. Say hello, Nightmare. And Nightmare's going to like stamp twice. Nightmare appreciates your armor. He's going to talk to you. Where's my... he reaches in his armor for his flask. Well, I think... what do you say? Why don't we... how about we go get our mind back? If you don't mind those men behind you, I'll be following them.

Knock yourself out. Honestly, I love that for you. You sure you don't want me closer? I back off! That armor's speaking. Yeah, it sure is. Did you know that armor can speak? We got all kinds of secrets. Is it haunted by any chance? In a way. But like more like emotionally, I think. Yeah. I'm conflicted, yes. Anyway, I'll be back here. If you need me. Yeah, you know what? When we make camp, check in on us and we'll talk, but otherwise feel free to tell them as mysteriously as you like. That's great. Do you know how to make crow sounds? If you make them very loud, I'll be able to hear you.

Okay. I'll practice. Do it five times in a row and I'll know it's you. Okay. And then just do like the okay sign and no one will even speak. Just be like, hmm. He's going to rear up again and then... Goodbye, Mr. Slit. Can we put him in the hole? Just throwing it out there. There's a 50/50 chance that's where this ends. We'll see. I love him so much. I hate him. Please don't ever let anything happen to him. Please. I'm just... If all my NPCs die, fine, but just keep him alive. Just that one. I'll protect him. Thank you. Do you want to roll some tables, Xavier? Why, of course I would do.

Okay. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to go down a list and I'm going to ask that you roll various dice sizes for each one of these tables. And we'll go from there. All right. First, let's do body type. Are you barrel chested? Give me a D10. Yes. Nein. Okay. Thick. Thick and jacked. You're built like a refrigerator. Okay. Your stats don't change. I need to stress this. Oh, I know where I'm going. But you look like you could fuck something up. You look like you could pick up the cart and just like, "Oh, I'll just hold it up while you change that axle." Good.

What about your head shape? Yeah, give me a D6. So, you got a small head. It's not proportionate to the rest of your body. You know what I mean? It's got a little bit of a... I don't want to say pinhead. It's like a... kind of a... a little bit of a cone-ish shape to the top of it. I wouldn't shave my head. Right. Let's go with skin color. Give me a D20, please. 16. Okay. So, this is... so, kind of a... almost a deep... Not green, but it looks like you're kind of sick in the right light. Like, you just kind of... like... In... in darker environments, you look like a bronze god.

It looks like you have oiled yourself up every day, and then roasted yourself in the sun. Your skin, ironically enough, is a little leathery. A little scaly, almost. Are we rolling for species? That's next. Okay. I need another D20. Well, unless it's like... doesn't apply. If it's Minotaur, I don't know if... Oh! No, no, no. So, we're... we're using the chart right out of the book. Yeah. So, um... so, let's see... character creation... Uh... 18... oh. You can rule some stuff out. If it's losing focus. No, no, no. I guess. I think this is amazing. Uh-oh. S.I.E. You're... you're warforged.

Would that work? I mean... technically, like... It's a disguise. Like, you're just a big, jacked-looking warforged. Alright. But you're still fleshy on the inside, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it's a disguise. It's a complete illusion. Our... our illusion. Yeah, totally. Our complete... Yeah, no, no, no. Uh... that's interesting. And don't forget, you could do this again every week if you wanted to. Yeah, if you wanted to. Just like hit the randomizer. How old do you look? Do you look like a... like one straight off the assembly line? Or do you look, you know, closer to decrepit?

Give me a D6, please. Yes. Oh, you're factory new. You still got that new warforged scent? Like, you're... like, yeah. Let's go for height. Give me a D10, please. Totally average. That's a five. I love that. Yeah, you're floating around that 5'11". Five, you know, somewhere in there. This one's your eyes, which changes things a bit because you're a warforged. But, uh, give me a D6, please. So you have these yellow gemstones. Oh, my God. It is... It is bobbing. And finally... I need a D10 and I'll tell you why in a moment. Okay. There is this one long purple braided cord of hair that has been almost, like, inserted into your head.

And it's about four feet long. Nice. Looking good. It is an interesting look. It sounds like... Oh, God, please. Do you have some more tables or was that the final? That was pretty much it right now. Can I ask for one last thing? The voice. Like, gender presenting. So... Okay. So we talked about this earlier because you said you wanted to present as male, just like you're looking for, like, pitch a voice. Like, do you look more androgynous? Do you like that type of thing? Yeah, yeah. Kind of like roll across that limited spread. Because I wasn't going to have you roll for gender because I don't want to get cancelled.

Like, I just, you know... No, no, no. I know. But I mean, like, just still presenting. He's... To be honest, the amount of time Chapman... Well, Chapman's not even his real name. Like, hi. Right, exactly. The amount of time he switched, he'd probably identify as, like, both male, as his, like, lizard form, and whatever his new form is. Like... Because, I mean, it doesn't... It's a disguise, so it doesn't matter. You know what I mean? So give me a D10, please. Oh, okay. Because, I mean, the voice is probably part of the disguise, too. Mm-hmm. So... Do you... Okay. I'm trying to think of a good example of this.

Okay. Worm tongue. Kind of a whispery Iago figure, like, in someone's ear. Like, you're probably... You probably get a little too close to people when you speak to them. Like, that type of thing. Like, yeah. That type of thing. Oh, that's too far from what it used to be. That, yeah. Like, without the hiss, maybe. Or more hiss. I don't know. That's up to you. Alright. We got him. So... I have a question. Mm. Why did Dr. Chapman decide to do this? Because, like, no one else knew that he was a laser folk. Like, we got the bracelet back. Did you just want to, like, try something new?

Well, the reasoning is that there's two goons who saw him as a tiefling who transformed into a lizard. And so, if pressed, he would have to prove that he's not a lizard. But if he's someone completely different, then they'll be more confused. At least that's the lizard brain reasoning. Like, they won't... They'll question themselves and not the person. Hmm. Okay. It's his reasoning. Will you still be Dr. Chapman, or are you changing your name also? We'll have to find out. Okay. What do we tell the people back at the mine? You, doctor. I mean... Honestly, the way you go through people, like, you could either say he's a new hire, or just wait for that group to cycle out, and they won't know any different anyway.

That's true. That's true. Honestly, if we came back and said, "Hey, we got a new doctor," I think most of the camp would be like, "Oh, thank God." I think that... I feel like there's a little bit of a... For whatever transformation you've just gone through, it's probably picking up from things that you've seen or... In other words, it's maybe subconscious, but there's just something... And maybe it's being around philosophy a little bit. It's just like, that kind of popped out as part of... Something like that. You're more on the money than you think. Oh my God, he Kaiser-sosayed us.

It's from a movie called The Usual Suspects. Well, it's just... See, that was back when we could watch Kevin Spacey stuff and enjoy it. It's... I can't do that anymore. I know. He's on YouTube doing things that are... Wait, really? Just... No. Don't even. I really... I really... I just... No. Fuck. So many good movies. Anyway, sorry. So, for the time being, he's still in the armor. Let's just leave it at that for now. Well, it sounds like you guys are gonna hit the road. And while you are being trailed, they're gonna stay behind you. So you're kind of traveling alone, but not really.

And we kind of get a... Oh, sorry. We kind of got... We got kind of off early, in a way. Like, it wasn't like way in the late in the afternoon. This is... This is maybe midday? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, let me open up a map. I just need a flat D20 from one of you guys. Can I do it? No, I do remember from the last arc that there was an opportunity to skip days. Is that a possibility? So, here's... There's a call travel die. Yeah. And you kind of earn those like inspiration. Okay. And it's by doing something as a group. Like doing... Like, it's kind of an Avengers moment type thing.

And it's like, oh, yeah, you get to skip travel days and stuff. Okay. I just didn't know if we had any yet. Not yet. Okay. D20. D20. 13. I'll take it. 13. All right. You're going to be traveling for most of the day. And just as the sun is getting ready to set, you're going to see something that looks like a flare shoot up in front of the cart. A good like 20, 30 feet up, something like that. Just kind of like pop. It's almost like fireworks. And then you're going to see fire on either side of the car. And then you're going to see fire on either side of the road.

Just like everyone give me a perception check, please. Wow. Floss got a one. He's reading. Oh, that's fair. That's fair. So Linda's going to look, look to the right of the cart and you're going to see this, this figure kind of it's kind of tough to see because one, there's a bunch of there's a light show in front of you, basically. But you're going to see this, this, this, this road looking figure kind of frail, like waving, waving their arms. And that if you were a Batman, that's probably the source of what's going on. Oh, waving their arms as in they're doing this stuff, not like waving their arms for help.

No, no, no, no. They're they're causing this. It's magic. Right. Well, they're just doing it on the sides, right? Yeah. OK, I assume that Cave is driving and I'll be up in front with Cave. And so I think Linda would point it out to him that, hey, I think that's, you know, doing the fire stuff. But I think. She'll just be like, I don't know, it doesn't really seem like our problem. Like, I think we're good. I feel like it's helping solve our problem because I hate these fucking trees. OK, we'll give like a big wave and a thumbs up, be like, yeah, kill those trees.

We'll honk the horn. You're so like Linda's going to hear this this frailer, this frailer kind of voice, like Halt! Like he's trying to get you to stop it as you're. Oh, he was trying to get our attention? I mean, there's literal flames erupting from nothing on the right. Like, yeah, but he made the flames. Yes. So he kind of just like said hi. Seems like a lot of pomp and circumstance. Yes. Have you met the people from this continent? OK, she'll look over at Cave and say, I don't know, man, what do you think? I don't have any change. Just roll it with windows.

(laughter) Here's the thing, you can ride on by if you want. I mean, in Cave's head, it goes like this. Either this is another person who's going to try to kill us for literally no reason. Or there's a chance that we could get this person to help come set Harmon's camp on fire. But they seem like they need something. And I feel like our docket's full. (laughter) I'm conflicted. Could this fire like harm us? This fire be dangerous for us? I mean, it's fire, but it's not near like the horses or anything like that. It's it's out away from it's more just like, look at me, like it's it's very, you know what I mean?

I'll tell you what, he's if it looks like you're still going to drive by. He's going to shout two things. Did you just come from the city? Do you have any drugs? OK, we're going to keep going. No, just no, thank you. We don't want any. Bye. Not interested. Thank you. It doesn't have to be the hard stuff. Like he's just he's still like casting magic. This guy's so high. Talk to our buddies back there. They might have something. I can see colors that haven't been invented. Like as you are driving off into the night. I know we're going to do the the avert our gaze.

I don't have any change. Please leave my window. Please, please let the light turn green. So as you travel, you just get to see. In his lizard voice, Chapman says that this guy can't handle drugs. Clearly not. All these drugs burning down this forest. So you hate to see a brilliant mind like that. Like you just. Yeah, yeah, no, whatever, whatever you've got, Javin, we're going to need it. He's just doing tricks on the side of the road. It's the third equivalent of washing our windshield. Yeah, exactly. You guys are let's see, you're only one day out now. That's a lot.

It's in this place. Yeah, it's a lot. So I need you know, Jasper. Give me one more flat D 20. And you'll be home for the rest of your day. Flat D 20 and you'll be home free. Sorry, guys, to ain't ain't bad. Yes, we've already killed Martha. So that guy's going to run all night and catch up with you. No, no, no. No, just this guy's crazy high like he's. Oh, boy. OK, so that's a two. That's not amazing. So here's what we're going to do. I need to know if you guys are going to face a big thing or lots of little things. So, Jasper, if you'd give me a D 10, please. Sure.

Sorry, everybody. You know, just how it goes the way the world. Six six. Got it. Oh, what would be this? Druggy fake magician. That was the six of them. Yes. He knows mirror image and he mainly only took mirror image to cut up drugs on top of. But it's it's nice. It's amazing. Perfect joke. All right, here's what we're going to do. Oh, boy. I think you know what? Let's dust off a classic. That's what we're going to do, guys. Shit. I just remembered I was going to buy Linda a weapon in town. Damn it. She had more than a knife. Do you want to retcon a thing? Can I roll to see if I would have thought of it in character?

Yeah, you know what? I think that's fair. Tell you what, I'll make an intelligence save. What's my DC? Say 11, because that you encountered that enough on the road just getting there. That's like, oh, boy, you should have like, OK, oh, Jesus. So I buy her a rapier. That's what I buy her and I say, please use this, don't use that, and he'll point to her stupid knife. Rapier is like a javelin, but you don't throw it. No, like a thin, think of a three musketeer sword. Yeah, because it's going to go great with your suit. Yeah. You're proficient with it. Linda knows just like a regular.

Oh, and she's going to use it like a pointer all the time. Mm hmm. Oh, like a fencing sword. There you go. Just pull holes. Yep. Gotcha. Gotcha. That's very fun. Yeah. Using it like twisting the tip and the handle as he's talking about quarterly revenues. As you can see right here. Yeah, that's right through the paper. Yep. Just so amazing. Sorry about that. Cuts a Zorro L into everything. That's my lunch. Don't touch it. I'm stuck between two things and I'm not do neither. Let's go. Let us go free. Can we just walk by do the same thing? No, no, no. Thank you. If it's one of Martha's sisters.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. We move on to the next gag. Oh, that's right, a map. Yeah. Sorry. Time to bring out the wireless mouse. I feel like everything is such a chore, so you're going to be settling down for the night. Crickets are doing their thing. They're chirping and it's it's it's getting chilly. Right. And. There is a very strange noise coming from the tree line, kind of a. Great. Great. Oh, like it's a weird almost like a modem sound. I can't believe there's cicadas in this world, too. I want everybody to do me a favor. Give me a perception check. And if no one gets a 15 or higher, this thing's going to get to jump on you.

OK, we're good. Oh, good. Linda, Linda to the rescue. Because it ain't the rest of us. Oh, yeah. There is this strange looking creature. Descending. It looks like maybe there's a cave or something back there. It's it's it's what there's a bunch of shrubbery and you're going to see these white pale white tentacles part the shrubbery and this floating ball is going to come forward. I need you to give me a nature check, please. Everyone. This would be just Linda, because I don't think anyone is going to see it. Tony. Wow. So. There are beholders in the world, right?

These are ancient creatures that like some people say that they're like the first archmages that just let power go to their head. There's always like a like a little like a folktale about it. But this is a special flavor of beholder called a death kiss. They're particularly nasty. And they will suck your blood. They are brutally efficient at killing. I want you. To make a dexterity save for me, please. Just me. Just you. You're the only one who sees it. Oh, is it doing like mind stuff? Well, that was almost a seven. Wow. Just just want to say that floss now cannot be surprised.

It's true, right? Yeah. This isn't for a surprise round so much as. How quickly how quickly Linda can just. Dribble out this information to the like, just yell it out with a 17, that's going to be quick enough to like, hey, guys, that gets it. Like it's like she's just like, yell something to warn the party. Uh, but essentially the just to get ready, we're fighting type of thing like it's it's. Yeah. So I'm going to get you guys a map. Here we go. So she doesn't do the thing that I do, which is just go. Ah, yeah. Well, you know, honestly, that would send a message to that there's something to yell about.

Like, I think that would put everybody on edge, right? Like. Like, I'm the navigator and instead of being like, turn left right here, I just yell. Yeah, that yeah, that's yeah. Everybody. Could you please roll initiative? Yeah. God, Val, you're on fire tonight. I know. Holy shit. You usually get really bad initiative, too. Oh, shit. Crit from the death kiss. Guys. I think that's probably where we're going to stop for the night. Of course, it is almost midnight on the East Coast. I would love to see this through, but I don't want to. I don't want to be cruel. So the next time we sit down, you guys are going to fight a beholder and it gets to go first.

Amazing. It's it's. Yeah. Well, how bad could it be? Right. How bad could fighting a beholder be? I mean, it's not a thing. That's where beauty is, you know, is it? Inside of it. Let's find out. Yep. That's it. You just got to get to it. Maybe it's like a pinata. Yeah, I just got to get to the beauty inside. Or the candy, maybe. Let's find everybody. Roll for beauty. That's all charisma and mine is 20. Thank you. Is that true? I don't. Yeah. Nice. My goodness. Just I don't forget next time. I don't know if I've resolved if Chapman came out of the armor or not. I think he's still in the armor at this point.

No, you said you. Yeah, he was still in it. Last time I mentioned he was in the armor. Yeah, he'd be sleeping in it, I guess. It's comfortable. It is super comfortable. Yeah, OK, that's that's like a security. Yeah. I mean, the last time the last time you got out of the armor, we enforced the 10 minute rule. So, yeah. Yeah. All right. Maybe some of this went out. They just stay in there. Honestly, you might be the survivor of the group. Hold up, guys. I'm coming. We're just fighting the armor. If you're sleeping, you might not even know this happens. It's just insulated in there.

I mean, Linda got to get you combat, so I think it's only fair that. Yeah, I'll just be in the back healing people. Well, we'll see what this hammer of sins does. Hopefully, maybe. Oh, yeah, I'm sure we will. Hey, Jason. Yeah. Can I use a spell that you gave me? In general? Yeah. What is it? I'll plead the fifth on that until I have an answer if I can use a spell that you gave me. I'm just kidding. So when we were doing spells, you gave me sending. Oh, I thought you asked for it. Not sending is on your banned spells list. Well, then no. You gave me a I got dispel magic, stinking cloud and great invisibility.

And then just as like a fun bonus, you gave me sending. Oh, don't don't use that. Yeah, no, you don't get the benefit from my incompetence. Yeah. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors. Please don't go anywhere. Guys, it looks like we're heading into boss fight territory. I'm really kind of interested to see a very focused and, I guess, revenge driven version of the Overseers. So who knows what the hell is going to happen with that? But in the meantime, we have a bunch of stuff to prep for again. July 17th at Great Escape Games, Sacramento, California.

If you're in the area, we'll be signing books there at 1 p.m. PST, 4 p.m. EST. And we'll just be hanging out and meeting members, about getting members of the guests, meeting you guys that show up. And a bunch of members of the cast are going to be there because they're visiting in town anyway. And again, August 28th, the Kickstarter for the second edition of the Adventurer's Guide to Theria Volume 2. This time we're going to Talor. And there's a ton of stuff that we'll probably be announcing in mid to late July. We'll be able to show off some stuff and we're working on the preview right now.

If you want to send us an email, send it to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. That's dandrpodcast@gmail.com. We really thrive on your support over on Patreon. You giving us reviews, sharing the show, tweets, you know, all that stuff. The more listeners we get, the more that we can do. And yeah, your support is always extremely appreciated. So thank you guys so much. We'll see you next week with another brand new episode. And until then, good luck with your games.