Spirit Journey

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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I'm Jason! I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table. Let's start with Mandy. Hi guys, this is Mandy, and I play Li Argent, the Human Fighter, and my dad might be watching. Hi Dad! Hi Mandy's Dad! Hi Dad! Hi Mandy's Dad. And Alex. Hi, I'm Alex. I play Tobin, the Tiefling Monk. And last and certainly not least, Karen. Hi, I'm Karen, and I play Delphine, the Elven Cleric. Now, we are short a Michael today, but that is not going to stop us from getting done what needs to be done. So, that being said, you guys are going to go to sleep. You've got a lot of heavy stuff dropped on you, so it's pretty much like, look, we'll tackle it with fresh eyes in the morning.

You're going to wake up. Tuck is gone. Gone. No note. No nothing. Now, the odds of him being kidnapped are pretty rare. Could be hallucination? Spirit journey? I don't know, but he is not here presently. Do I still have all my drugs? Give me a flat D20. Dammit. 1 through 10, you do not. 11 through 20, you do. Oh, thank God. That was going to be a 6. I saw that. He did not think to take your drugs. Thank God. Thank God. Yeah, that's mine. I mean, when you're a drug addict, ownership of items gets dicey. It's more of a, it's a gray line. It really is kind of wavy. So you got no tuck.

I imagine the captain's got to do something about this. I do. Oh, gosh. I think the first thing, like, if it is brought up to her, the first thing she's going to do is go to Tobin and be like, what's up? Like, where'd your bro go? Where's your boy? Tobin's in, I assume, like the crew quarters, right? In his hammock. Tobin looks at the boss and he's laying in the hammock and he's like just relaxing with his hands behind his back. You know, from time to time, I think he does this kind of stuff. I wouldn't worry too much. I mean, it's not like, you know, we have any pressing deadlines, right?

It has just like this kind of shitty smile. And she's going to like raise an eyebrow and be like, were you not there for what Lee told me? Like that there are some Gissori trying to like shake us down? Like, we got to deal with that. Oh, yeah. I kind of forgot. Well, you know, get out of the hammock and it is very clear that he's like in his boxers, like his undergarments. He hasn't gotten dressed yet. Um, I'm going to go look for him, but it wouldn't be that hard to find him. You know, he's large and he's probably making a mess out there. Uh. I don't want to put words in Michael's mouth, but there's one thing I want to do.

On a scale of one to ten, how high is he right now? Do I have a volunteer for this role? I feel like it should be Alex. Hey, okay. Michael, I when you watch the VOD, I pray that you forgive me for whatever sins about to be committed. Amen. Oh, yeah. One. So maybe I feel like Michael would have wanted to tend to be honest. Honestly, yes, he is. He is self-destructive with if I can quote him. Everything is chaos. So maybe maybe this is a spirit journey. Maybe it's a religious quest. I don't know. Yeah. He's something that took him. I think Delphine's going to be like, okay, just take a couple hours.

Go look for him. We've got to do with this other stuff. But I can't have both of you guys missing at the same time. So like maybe come back in like an hour or two if you can't find him. He'll stretch. Oh, OK. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do what I can. But, you know, things are going to stop when I when I got hired. My job was primarily to be a bodyguard. This is kind of going into the territory of locating missing people. That's a completely different kind of clause. But he put his hands up. You're my boss and you've been a really good boss so far. And I get perks for you, you know, hanging out with fancy men.

So I'll tell you what, I'll do this one for free because Tuck's also my buddy. But, you know, maybe in the future, if you want to find stuff and we have Tuck with me, you can pass a different fee for that. And Delphine's going to like do that nod that I'm kind of doing right now. Like, mm hmm. And then she's kind of she's kind of got like this overcoat on. So she's going to pull something out of her overcoat and say, you know what? I don't really care for the attitude, actually. Do me any favors because, well, as you said, you're getting paid. But how about this?

In a couple hours, you come back with Tuck without Tuck. I don't care. And this is yours. And she's going to be holding up the box for the icy bitch, which he doesn't know what's in it yet. I don't know. It'll be intriguing. So I'm sorry, I'm not just going to say for the people at home. Why don't you tell them what that is, Karen? They are brass knuckles that I just I just have brass knuckles written next to them. I think that the big thing is like you can like punch people through walls. They are essentially blinged out like they're very and yes, but like but they're it's enchanted and enchanted diamonds and stuff like that.

So it's it is a very gaudy piece of weaponry, but it's I guess useful in certain situations. You know, like, you know, threatening subordinate, you know, that type of thing. I didn't put them on. They are innocently sitting in the box. It's a what's in the box temptation. Sure. You know, maybe some motivation. Yeah, Tobin's not that smart. So you're talking about eight intelligence. So when you show the box, his like cocky demeanor turns to like almost entranced. Ah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. He keeps looking back at the box trying to like shake it up.

OK, let me get dressed and go out in the town, the city and I'll go look for him. Awesome. And she'll just put it back in her jacket like, I don't know, go back to her cabin or something like her room cuddle with her cat. I like the way you dealt with it was to find somebody to deal with this or like that's that's kind of how that boiled down, which is a form of captaining that is that is a style of management. Fear. Fear is very good. I don't want him to give me any favors. OK, he's getting paid to do his job. He'll continue to get paid to do his job. I want to see the people that work under you in real life.

Like I like if that isn't the most ship shape store that you run, like I I'd be surprised. Or maybe this is power fantasy. Maybe this is what you wish you could do. I don't know. But you worry me, Karen. I mean, there are reasons that I get complaints filed on me. Oh, OK. Only one that holds people accountable. That's what I'm saying. Let's go. I mean, they don't watch the stream. Let's name names. Let's get it. Oh, my God. She doesn't watch this. That's as she finishes the red. So it's empty. So we're going to catch up. We're going to catch up with Tobin and just a bit here.

We need to we need to see how Lee is. What's what's Lee seemed a bit concerned about this whole gets her eye trying to cancel your deal type of thing. You guys were tired to get that contract. And they're just going to put the kibosh on it. They didn't even offer you a second contract. They were basically like, yeah, you can give us those weapons if you want, but you're definitely going to not sell them to our our rivals. So this is nothing but a loss for you if you go through with it. What are you thinking? Lee specifically? Yeah. Lee is thinking, you know, we came all this way.

We we've done all this legwork and we're about to get paid. Hopefully, it was staring at Karen. Still haven't seen any gold, Karen. But and so she's she's alarmed and also the fact that Tobin told her that they have mind powers and she doesn't quite know what to make of that. But she's also heard stories of, you know, during the war, people with mind powers. It's like, will it be like that? Things being exploded by their minds and she's worried. But also wants to keep making money, so she's hoping the boss will know what to do because she's kind of like, do we have to go kill all these people?

I don't know if we can kill all these people. How would you let's let's let's let's let's think of a way to word this. So you had a backup plan if weapons weren't working out. Do you have like a PowerPoint presentation you were going to show? Show Duffy maybe or like it's like, oh, I've done research. These are our target demographics. Drug use is way up. We should sell drugs. Like it's like, how is how is the pitch like your Shark Tank pitch? Blackroot three times the value was this time last year. Invest in Coke coin. There are clinics that give you black root now.

You can literally it's legal. It's it's legal now. You used to have to tell him you had back pain. Now, just go like walk in and it's fine. You know, there's black, Eastern black root, Western black, got Western black grass, pineapple flavor. I mean, in all the all the cool continents, that's it's legal in all the cool ones. Do you think there's there's the theory and equivalent of the guy who just shouted, legalize it for 20 years and now he has nothing to talk about. Mark one, he came to take this guy. He's become a huge proponent for legalizing blackgrass.

Yeah, maybe she just tax it. It's like they did. It's like, oh, like this is nothing. That was this icebreaker. Oh, God. OK. Yeah, so so we like she she wanted a separate business deal and, you know, weapons are going to the white folk and they said you can't have it. You can't do business in the same, you know, with weapons elsewhere. And she wants to hold to that because it's good business and they won't kill us. Awesome. So we needed a new a new business deal. And she was thinking, well, most of the common items, you know, the the what you would get from them wouldn't be as lucrative as if you were to do drugs.

I mean, and we have resources for it. We have a good seller and. It's kind of a renewable market because they get addicted to it. They want more. You get other people addicted. They want more and more and more. It's kind of the perfect thing to sell. And the laws here are, you know, low or not as stringent. So we could ship it back to a bright port, but there's always a good chance it'd get confiscated. I've been listening to the episodes. They're kind of dealing with something right now, but it's no one's on the no one's working on the docks at the moment.

But it's I have to say analytical Mandy is terrifying. Yeah, it's absolutely terrifying. I love you, Mandy. You're a bit of a cold bitch. Like it's just really scary. It's it's it's. Yeah. And it just like to her, it makes sense. She's dealt with drug dealers and you know, she's like and she has one that's really very amiable right now. It's like and the prices are pretty good. And she knows drug new drug addicts and like they always want more. Perfect. Supply and demand. We can supply and they'll always demand. So is this your pitch? You're pitching this? Yes.

OK, so you get done. So OK, Delphine gets done telling Tobin, get out there, find your buddy, that type of thing. And we'll catch up with Tobin in just a minute. And then Lee comes in and gives you the madman speech like the Don Draper. Like, here's a slideshow and it's this beautiful soliloquy about how we should sell cocaine to the locals and make a lot of money. And there's just a tinge of Walter White toward the end. Like there's like, I'm the one who knocks like just a little bit, just a tiny bit in there. But like, like there's an enforcer buried deep within Lee.

How would Delphine take this in? I'm conflicted because Karen is like, fuck, yeah, let's fucking do it. Right. Can I mean, I don't want to I don't request anything of Mandy, but like can Mandy like roll her pitch just to see how well she did for me? OK, I can do that. I want to see how what's your what's your persuasion? The Kodak speech. Yes, that's what I was thinking of. Yeah. Well, he's like, life moves fast. Yeah. Oh, my God. My heart. I missed that show except for season six. My persuasion isn't good, but my deception is good. Can I just lie? Let's do it because it's legal.

Let's go with persuasion. And obviously we're not rolling against specific stats. This is more like how how well is it like basically, did you nail this speech or were you like, um, and you had like cue cards and shit like like how put together was your PowerPoint presentation? Yeah. And I feel like that would mean a lot. That's so it's so so it's so so like, OK, that's like somebody on Facebook, like making a wild accusation. I know on social media, but like that's like someone making a wild accusation and like they back up their points with a couple of facts and then there's shit in there and it's like and then the microwaves are controlled by Bill Gates and there's chips in my teeth.

Like it's like what? Like but it's you know, then there's like backed up data and research in there, too, for other points. And it's like, wow, you're all over the place. There's a bit. There's a few things you're hearing that are like, oh, no. But then a couple is like, oh, OK, like the charts, the profit, the profit sharing charts. They're all correct. Step three profit. Yeah. Didn't you say that there was a drug that the Gisor I like to use? Yeah. Do we know that it's like what? No, they. Well, they they will use that, but not often. They're not big on hand to hand combat.

They will. Big on brain juice like their brain brain is sorry. Yeah. Big for those of you out there don't know, it raises your intelligence temporarily. Think Bane, but not. Because I feel like if Lee could be like secure, like I like Delphine would be down for it. If we were like specifically as like a way to like mitigate the weapons thing, it's like, OK, you don't want to selling weapons to the lion folk, but like we have some brain juice. Like maybe we could like slight at hand, you know. Yeah, that's fair, because it would be like saying, OK, we're providing weapons that are not top tier to the lion folk, you know, but we can give you something that will level the playing field on your end.

You know, you don't use weapons. I mean, you use weapons, but you're not the lion folk who need the heptier armor. You need something to boost what you have, which yes, brain juice or Nash in case guys get clobbered and you need quick healing. There's nothing risky about this at all. I think it's going to be great. Everything's just you're going to you're going to nail it. Cool. So let's catch up with Tobin. Let's catch up. I want to give you time to digest that. Think about it, you know. He has no idea that there's this like Scarface-esque playing going on.

Where do you think Tobin would go? Like, where do you think like you're looking for Tuck, you got your ear to the ground. This is kind of a streetwise thing. Like what do you? Well, first, I don't want to go by myself. I'm going to bring somebody with me. I'm going to bring I was looking at my notes because I can't remember those guys that the NPCs we built in the beginning. Yeah. I mean, it's not like they mean anything to you guys. They don't know. They're absolutely expendable. Every single one of them. Jonas, Jonas is OCD. Yes. What do we what is what is Jonas?

I forget his role on our ship. Jonas. I haven't heard anything from Jonas. Yeah. We talked to him one time, I think. So, OK, can I get you to please roll me a D 20? I want to see something. You got it, chief. You got it. That's one baby. Let's go. Oh, good. So you are going to be leaving the ship and you're just gonna so happen to see this this crouched figure. Right. And you're you can say, hey, you come with me. And they're going to stand up and start kind of following Tobin, but like kind of like shiftily looking around. So we're we're leaving the ship. We're going.

Yeah. Yeah. You're part of the crew, right? Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I look I look at him. I assume we're off the ship, like walking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stop. I'll turn around. I'll look at him. I'll give him once over the ocular pat down, if you will. I'll on Mac from it's always sunny, Philadelphia. Put a hand on my waist. I kind of rub my my face. Wait a minute. What's your name? It's Jonas. Like, it's like, how do you not know that? Like it's it. But. I guess we haven't had a chance to speak. Yeah. Why are you acting like that? And I kind of just like do the velociraptor walk around him.

So while you're talking to him, he's got this he's going to get this belt that's around his chest. And he's doing this with his thumb and he's doing like north, south, east, west, north, south, east, west, north, like over and over again. And he's doing it faster as you were kind of eyeing him. He's going to get flustered as you like your your second rotation somewhere. I you know, I just keep a low profile. I try to keep to myself. I have not done a single thing on the ship yet. And I would like to not do anything on the ship. I stop. I stop on my third rotation, like halfway through it on his left side.

And I say, you OK, cool. I admire someone who works hard to not work hard. I'll give you that. But and he looks it back at the boat. Don't say that out loud around the bus or on Lee. Right. I they do not see me. I am usually hiding behind crates or if I see you coming, I have hidden behind the cat once. Tobin like thinks, oh, shit, that's a good one. And then he shakes off. Well, OK, hold on, Jonas. You're telling me since we left Brightport, you haven't done any work at all. That is correct. Holy shit. Wow. Now we're definitely hanging out. That's. Like I put a hand on his shoulder.

Oh, man, that's impressive. I think so. He's going to start to like slow down with that. Oh, I thought I was busted. I thought I thought the jig was up here. You you're cool with this. Well, I think the jig is up for sure. Like, don't get me wrong. You're just not going to do work for the captain or we now you're working with me, pal. I got to say it's not crazy work. Like I'm not going to make you build anything or repair stuff, because honestly, I'm going to be 100 percent transparent here. But I don't even remember when you got hired, when you got on the boat or what your original role was.

So and don't tell me because you're just going to ruin it because your new rule, your new role now, my friend. And I'm going to like kind of put my head behind his head, like scratch his hair right here and be like, you know, role is to help me get stuff. Huh? OK, well, I need to warn you. I have no marketable skills. I lied through my teeth to get this job and I pride myself on being absolutely forgettable. Jonas, you're you keep selling your skills to me and they just get better and better. Like Tobin is visibly excited now. Before we do anything, I need to go find me to go find Tuck.

All right. And you said you basically you could just walk into the crowded place and nobody really notices you, right? That's kind of your deal. I would put it like no one cares. But yeah, perfect. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go to the pubs, taverns. We're going to look for Tuck there first. Give you about, you know, a couple of 20, 35 minutes, whatever. Do what you can. We'll meet back, let's say, and he'll point to like at the end of the dock or there's some sort of plaza nearby. We'll meet there in 30 minutes. And while you're out. Maybe you keep an ear to the ground on any movements of the Gisserai.

Have you seen a Gisserai kind of, you know, look what they're wearing. You seem like you're observant enough to pay attention to people's movements and how to get away from people. So keep doing that and keep an eye out for what they're wearing. But also look for Tuck, obviously. You think you can do that? Yeah, I only got one question. Which one of you is Tuck? Tuck. Oh, Tuck. OK, you know how there's normally four people kind of in the captain's inner circle, myself. Yeah, it would be kind of foolish to go out with anything less than at least four people.

Yeah. And then, Tuck. I agree. Full hearted. The minotaur, the big bull guy. That's Tuck. Got it. Yep. Instead of staying away from him, look for him if you see him. Or I'm sorry, look, look for him in these places. OK. OK. I'll tell you what. And hold on, let me make sure I can bankroll my idea before I... Because I know we've lost a couple. We lost some... Oh, I'm rich. Fuck yeah. OK. Dogecoin. I'm going to pull out... I'm going to pull out ten gold. And I'm going to say, if you make it back to the plaza in thirty five minutes with some information, this is yours. And any time that I need to do something off the ship without the others, you find me and we go together.

There's more gold every time you help me. Got it? OK. Is it OK if I still collect a paycheck from the captain? Oh, absolutely. Are you kidding me? OK. OK. Your work ethic and industrial... What is it? Industrial spirit? Man. It's rare to have those two together and to be sneaky as fuck. That's incredible. Well, I guess I have work to do. I'll... Am I allowed to drink? Yeah. Oh. But it's just like walking as someone walks away. One thing. If you don't come back, Jonas. Did you see us fight on the side of the ship? You guys had a fight? OK. If you don't come back, Jonas. And I'm going to like move.

I'm going to do like a drunken boxing type move where I end up next to him and like his arms like it in almost a standing arm bar kind of deal almost. Just my hands. If you don't show up, Jonas. I take a little. I take a collection. A little extra. And you lose something. I let his arm go. Yeah, it's kind of a kind of a hard swallow. Yeah. OK. I wasn't going to ditch like this is a pretty sweet gig so far. So like, why would I? I mean, it's it's pretty cool. Just making sure. Just making sure, Jonas. So he's going to take off kind of kind of not run, but kind of like a little power walk a little bit.

Just kind of getting on his way. Tobin Tobin watches him walk away. What a fucking legend. I love that. And I had to like whatever bars are opposite direction he's going to. So obviously I got my book, which I keep all the notes for every session in next to Jonas. I wrote nothing. And then I just kind of ran with it like it's like, well, yeah, like like it's not a stowaway. Like technically is on payroll. He's Milton from fucking office space is what he is. Like he's just he's just collecting a check. But he's self-aware. That's the thing. Yeah. Oh, man. I love Jonas.

I'm sorry, Adelbert. Jonas is my new best friend. Can you stop like turning my crew? Like I've given them life skills. I mean, here's the thing. He was he's not really doing anything he wasn't already doing. Like it's just it's just more out in the open. So can I get you to do me a favor, Alex? You're about to go out and search. And I would like you to give me a flat D 20. I'm going to see how well this goes. I can. Spoiler alert. It's not going to go well. What? It's a flat D 20. Oh, my God. See? Spoiler alert. That's what you get for for doubting yourself. You you got the touch.

You found Tuck and now you have to pretend to be. Yeah. I'll be Michael. Let's go. Michael's the only one's going to be insulted. Like I'm just going to do a poor Michael like I. So here's here's what's going to happen. You know what? Actually, hold on. I don't want to leave Mandy and Karen out. We're going to come back to you in just one second. Cool. Delphine, Lee. Drugs. Was there a hard yes or no on that? Are we getting breakfast now? What are you doing with your day, basically? You know, you have a deadline with these gifts, right? You know, and you have like you have a couple of days, so it's not terrible.

But you do have a decision to make. And they did threaten you. Did threaten us. I think that Delphine is a nay for pretty much all of the drug stuff, except for potentially selling like brain juice to the Gisserai. OK, so she's going to be like, all right, Lee, like let's let's work together and come up with a pitch for them. That way, in case things start to turn, we could be like, but also look at this shiny thing. OK. Do we also want to notify the lion folk in case things go sideways? They are outside the city. Actually, sorry. In her character, she goes, actually, I've been thinking about that.

I think that because. OK, so out of character, right? I don't think. Here's my concern. I don't want to get my boyfriend caught up in all this Gisserai lion folk trauma. Wow. Wow. We're putting it seriously. Yeah, we're putting labels on it. Yeah. That was some weekend. We're just we're just seeing where things go. OK. But I, I don't know. I feel like it wouldn't have come up like where their business was on that whole who we support, who we don't support scale. Right. Like, I don't think that would have come up at all. Right. Like maybe when they were doing our business deal at the very beginning.

So I don't remember telling him. No, we just said we had we had clients, as always. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they were pretty. Yeah. They were pretty adamant about making it exclusive. Yeah. But like that was mainly it's like, hey, don't supply our enemy because then we're just doing nothing here. Yeah. OK. So what Delphine wants to do is like come up with like maybe like a. It's hard because like I don't want to go outside of the city town area because like maybe we might get betrayed, but I don't want to do things inside of it because I don't want because clearly people are watching us.

Right. Like so I kind of want to like set up an off like maybe go back to that island where we first landed to do like the handoff. So it's like not so nobody knows. Like we're just take off in our ship and nobody knows where we're going. But the lion folk will meet us there and then we'll get offload the weapons there. You know what I mean? And then we got there with the chickens. There's lion folk there. They got weapons now. That's true. I'm not here. Don't listen to me. So you want to do the the clandestine let's meet in the desert and like exchange goods.

I want like the goods to go to our ship. Right. And then and nobody knows where we're going with those weapons. So who says they're going to the lion folk? You know. So we need to get in touch with the lion folk to set something up like that. Is where I'm going. OK. A lot. Sorry. And then when we go to the Ghisari, we say, OK, we're no longer going to be working with the lion folk. I don't know if I want to like put definitive terms on that. I don't want to outright be like, oh, yeah, we're done with the lion folk. Fuck them. You know, I just want to like, you know, we can just kind of steer the conversation away from the lion folk.

Right. And like set up our own thing with the Ghisari and then they won't even think about the lion folk. Karen, are you sure you're not a mobster in real life? This is why I do great in prison, guys. Shiny thing. No, no, no, no. Go here. Shiny thing. Oh, because she also has a baby. Perfect. Prison or babies. Transferable skills. No, no, no. Look at her. There are assholes in both situations. I really don't like my kid this week, guys. Three is hard. I'm so glad I don't have kids. I mean, your kids. Great, whatever. But I mean, like, I'm just for me, for my life and my needs.

OK. Alex, you rolled a 20. I wasted I feel it's kind of wasted now, though. Why? Because bad things are going to happen. People are talking about doing drop offs. That's their shit. This is about Tobin. Yeah. So you're going to notice that there's a couple of guys following you and you take a couple of turns. You're doing the testing it out thing. And these two are. They look like Githsera. I'm military. Like they look like it's like, oh, man. So these two are just following you and following you. So in his head, his first idea is when he takes like one of those turns and he's like, I'm just going to take a turn and mess him up.

And then when I get a good look at like the gear that I can identify as just our military, he has that like a panic feeling, you know, like you're a kid and you break something and your whole body sinks into the abyss. That is your stomach. He gets that. He's like, oh, and I'll continue trying to lose them. And obviously I'm not going to lose them. Someone's going to call out to you. And it's not these two at first. You hear like you're in a situation where you're kind of being like, you know, you see somebody you don't talk to or you you hear a voice call.

It's like, oh, fuck. Like you figure it's them. Hey, partner. And you're realizing it's coming from your right, not behind you. Oh, yeah, I'll turn like quickly. And you're going to see you're going to see a group of four people packing a cart full of stuff. You got a second? Tobin turns that panic into like a sly smile. Yeah, of course. Always looking to help everyday folk. He kind of struts over there, ignoring that the gifts are following him. And when you kind of walk over to them, the gifts are, you could tell they're keeping an eye on you, but they're going to just walk like they weren't following you.

They're just going to keep going. Tobin. Size. Yeah. So what's up? What's the deal here? After they're well out of sight, they round the corner. This dude is going to kind of like pat you on the shoulder. You look like you needed some help there, partner. I turn around to look that the guys are gone. I look back. Yes. Yes. That's a very perceptive note you got there. Thanks. So why are they following you? If you don't mind me asking. You know what? It could be any number of things. There could be racial motivation behind it. It could be that they don't like the fact that, you know, I was by myself and, you know, they're trying to help me offload some coin.

Who knows? You know, it's a crazy world. People are insane. You know what I'm saying? All kinds of bad things are happening, right? So, okay. Not as straight an answer as I would have liked, but that's fine. I wanted to help you out because you look, you look able-bodied. I'm not checking you out or anything, but you're wiry. You got a nice muscle tone to you. He smiles. No worries. Either way, I'm flattered. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did a lot of training on my body. That's kind of my whole deal. I'm more of a, I handle problems usually with my fists or feet more than anything else.

Would you say that you're good in stressful situations? He'll stop for a second. I would say I'm 80% successful in stressful situations. Yeah. You know, maybe there's been one or two times where, and he'll quickly remember, like flash back to him and Tuck fighting in the pits. There's been times when I've had others to help me out, but mostly I've done things on my own. All right. He's going to kind of wrap a wrap an arm around your shoulder and kind of bring you over with the crew. All right. Well, I got a unique business opportunity for you. We're fixing to pull off a heist.

Tuck. Not. Opens his eyes really wide. Wow. Cool. Looks at the group of guys. What do they look like? The others in this crew? I would say, you know what, actually on a scale of one to 10, how able-bodied they look. Give me a one to 10. Give me. Oh God. Hey. Ooh. Okay. So these are some grizzled cutthroat looking fuckers. Like they are, like they've, this is not their first crime, let's say. Like they've done other stuff, but like they kind of give you a look like they're eyeballing you. Like they're sizing you up. That's kind of what I was going for. And as I look at them and I see they're all tough dudes, I get that like, you know, I need to go home and talk.

I need to go talk to my mom. Look, like, look, I'm all about crime. I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. I'm all about independent enterprise. Don't get me wrong. I'm kind of, I was kind of in the middle of something else before those guys started tailing me and then you helped me out, by the way. Thank you again. And it's very time sensitive. So I, and I try to like back up. I have to get going. I, you know, I got somebody who needs my help. Good luck with everything you're doing. I really like this setup. I like, you know, that there's these tough looking dudes here and there's...

I started backpedaling if I can. He's okay. He's, he's going to kind of hold up a couple of hands like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Okay. Look, I know we just met. I'm not trying to force anything on you. I just thought you might be interested in making a whole lot of money. But if you don't, you don't want any part. I understand you feel free to walk away, but I couldn't help but notice those gifts are I have been following you for a little bit. And I got a way you can take them over pretty damn good. Tobin's look of panic shrinks and becomes more of a focused.

He thinks back to all the stuff with his family and the training. He'll put his hands down and he'll think about Tuck for a second and shake his head. Any other day, I would have jumped at this opportunity. But like I said, I'm trying to help someone. I'm looking for someone and he'll stop. Are you planning on doing more of these against the same group of people by chance? If this one goes off successful. He's going to kind of look around because you're not you're not partaking. So that trust is kind of eroded a little bit. But but he knows he knows you're not friends with them because they're following you.

It's not like they were guards or anything like that. So it's like, well, the thing we got going on is tonight. And it's kind of a one time gig. See, there's this caravan coming in from the south. And what they have is a high ranking commander and a lockbox full of battle plans. They plan on raiding this line folk encampment. We plan on taking that from them and we can either sell it back to them or keep it, give it to the line folks, sell it to them. Do you know how much they pay to get that back? Oddly enough, I probably have a really good idea. But like you see this, he's torn and like half he's like sideways, right?

Like half of them are still facing the group and the other half is like he's getting ready to leave. And he goes, look, he kind of hits his hand a little. Like I said, any other day, I'd be right there in the front with you. Probably cracking some skulls, to be honest. But this person I'm looking for, they could be in trouble. There's a slight chance they could be in serious trouble. But there's a larger chance they're just in kind of, you know, ha ha funny, funny trouble. You know, like they might have pooped their pants or something. And I owe it to them.

I got to look out for them, but I'll walk up to the guy and I'll extend a hand. The name is Tobin. He's going to hold a hand back up, like give you one of those like big like boisterous shakes. Name's Ray. If I'm hoping that everything goes well with your attempt tonight and if you plan on hurting the gifts or I anymore, look for that big ship in the dock. It's called I think our ship's called the Brutus, I believe, right? Yep. The Brutus. Ask for me. Well, if you find yourself bored this evening, try and catch us before we leave. Definitely. Definitely. And I'll give them the "you son of a bitch!" Oh, yeah.

And then release and I'll bow all nod to the other guys. Gentlemen. These guys would do well in prison. All of them. Like very well. Yeah, I'll leave. And as I'm leaving, I just go, "Oh, that would have been great." And then Tobin, as he's turning the corner, he'll go, "I wish I could have got something from that and I would like to pull a rare card." I got your hook up. Give me a number. Between one and five. I hear a child. I hear Wesley. Wesley is three years old. I'd like to say the number three. Oh, oh, OK. Right in the middle. All right. Pow pow. OK, I've decided if Tobin dies or anything bad happens to him, I'm making a bard again.

You just can't stay away. Because I played a bard in a one-shot last week and I was like, "Oh my god, College of Swords is so fucking cool." Are you ready? Yeah. I hope it's the Cairne one. So after you're done talking, you're going to feel something strike your backpack. Whoa. Like it's kind of a "thump," like you're going to feel it. I... what the fuck? Turn it around. There's a fairly large dagger lodged in your backpack, and it cut through a decent portion of your shit before it stopped. It is this gorgeous white dagger. Like even the blade is polished to the point where it looks like it's this brilliant silver that's always catching the light.

And this dagger's name is Ivory. And there are quite a few things it can do for you, specifically in combat. Do you like blinding people? Oh, I've never tried it, but it sounds like something I'd enjoy. Well, it's kind of... yes. It's a form of... Well, here's the thing. You know the drill. Yeah, I need a bad guy. I need a... You need a bad man. One through four. Let's go with one. Let's stay on theme here. Ones are always amazingly bad. There's a couple in here that just aren't that bad. Like, obviously, they can't all be terrible, because then where's the fun?

Where's the suspense? It's true. It needs to be more debilitating, I feel like. Yeah. I'm still going with "No consequences!" Everything's an opportunity. I'm dead. What in the... Fuck. I did not anticipate this. Time to make a bar, boys! College of Swords! Let's go! A second dagger is going to strike your backpack. Just hoping, "What the fuck? Come on!" And every time you look, it's like no one's throwing anything. My bag is just like stuff spilling out. Pencils like, "No, my pencils!" This dagger is equal to ivory in every single way, except it is a deep black.

Take a guess at what this is called. You somehow just got both halves of a legendary dagger set, Ebony and Ivory. Yo, it's my time! That's fucking insane. Oh, where's Oreo? Oreo's not here. Damn it. Holy shit, man. Awesome. Do I know anything about Ebony? I'll tell you. Because we have a live chat, and I don't want to blue ball our chat. So, these two daggers together, it is a real yin-yang thing. So, in combat, these two work insanely well together. You can blanket an area in darkness, and be almost undetected in certain areas and stuff like that. There's a drawback to it, and I can't tell you that until you use it.

But, it's pretty fucking cool. Like, just in combat, it's pretty cool. I mean, I've always wanted to be a ninja, and now I literally am a ninja. So, I'm looking at both of them, and I look at my bag, and I'm like, "Fuck, my bag!" And I keep looking at the shiny new toys, like, "Ah, oh." And I'll do that thing where it's like, I have it on the top of my hand, flip it up, flip it around, testing it, mix them, spin them around. I look at my bag, put the daggers on. I would assume I have some sort of hilt on my belt. And just pick up my bag like... All your loose items?

Yeah, just like, "Fuck." One, I would imagine you're the type of dude who probably has used daggers before. Yes, it is technically a monk weapon, so I am the official. Also, there's probably a small part of you that's like, "Is anyone gonna throw any fucking knives at me right now?" Like, is that it? Like, because I don't have any more backpack, like, I can't stop that. Next to you, right in the back. I hear, as I'm exiting this alleyway area, this narrow street, and I go back to a main street, a wagon and a horse, like, their horseshoes hit the stone.

I'm like, "Ah!" Yeah, I'll head back to the town square, finish my rounds. You know what, I'll even say, Jason, that I'll spend whatever the goal is to buy a new backpack, just for continuity's sake. I'll just be like, "I need a backpack!" Yeah, you're fine. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not gonna cost you much. I mean, you made out on this one. Yes, there's a terrible detrimental thing that comes with Ebony, but like, whatever! Don't worry about that, you know? We don't worry about consequences. When you get a dental clean, and they're like, "Mr. Herrera, we suggest you need two root canals." "No, no, no!

I don't wanna hear that!" "Nah, man, I'm gonna live forever, it's fine!" "I'm gonna go buy three Slurpees and Twinkies! Leave me alone! Don't tell me how to fix my teeth!" What, are you some kind of tooth doctor? Last I checked, didn't say "MD" on the front. You're gonna get back to town square here. And Jonas is gonna come walking up to you, and he's got a beer in his hand, with a straw. And he's just gonna... he's finishing it off, as he's getting up to you, so it's like... Just real loud, kind of... The more you say it, I love Jonas. So, how you doing, new boss?

No, don't stop, don't do that. Tobin is fine. What? Yeah, no, look. I had a chance to think about some stuff. Okay. I think I prefer your captaining style. I think... like, I think... I think you got it figured out. I don't know, have you ever thought of running for captain? Tobin's like, "This is a great day!" I got this cool dagger that has no consequences. Two of them! I got a new backpack that has one of those straw things I can drink water from, it's amazing. Oh, man. Just gonna fill it with, you know, Red Bull, it's gonna be great. I didn't find anything about Tuck, whatever.

And this guy thinks I'm... Anyway, so he'll, like, smile. You know, I appreciate it, first and foremost, Jonas. Everything right now, if I were a teacher and I was giving you a report card, you'd get A+s all over the place right now. I'm telling you right now, top student, for sure. But, being in charge of so many people, that's... that's not my deal. I'm not looking to do that. You know, I came on this... I came on this expedition, took this job, because it's stuff I'm used to, you know. Bodyguardin', crackin' skulls, going to whorehouses, I'm sorry, brothels, bars, and, you know, fighting in pits with Tuck.

So, it's not in my interest to undermine our current captain. She's great, you know. She's got some areas of opportunities of improvement, but who doesn't? She's a lot smarter than me, for one. But in this stuff, and he kind of points to the area around him in the streets, or in the dealings of the streets, I think I got her beat there, but that's why I'm a part of the upper management, if you will. So, again, appreciate the thought, but probably not looking to get that job anytime soon. Hey, um, not to interrupt, speaking of Tuck, there was one person who saw him.

It was late at night, kind of a blurry thought in his head, but... I heard him screaming, and running out of town. Gave me a direction. Oh, he was nude. Ah. Well, sorry, Jason, let me write this down in my little journal here. That's fine. I gotta sketch. Sketch him Tuck real quick. So, Tobin is, like, rubbing his chin. Okay. It's great that somebody saw him, but it's terrible that they saw him in that way, because I've also seen a nude Tuck. And it's terrifying. It just makes you feel so small. No, the guy said he was naked, but it wasn't like he was unarmed, you know what I'm saying?

I hear that, I hear that. Maybe it has to do with how freaked out he was before the drugs. He didn't say he was painful screaming, he just said he was screaming. Yeah. Like yelling at the moon type of screaming. I figured. There's not much in this world that can hurt Tuck. Okay, well, again, great job. I fling him the 10, but I'll give him 12 instead. Oh. I'll say, you got the extra because you came, you walked up to here with this beer in hand with no fear, and I like that a lot. Because I believe there are some laws in this city at least about open containers, but you know what?

And I give them the "Fuck 'em", you know? He's gonna, it's like, "Alright buddy, I'll talk to you later. I gotta sneak back on board this ship." Yep. And I will kinda just stand there thinking like, "Ah, Tuck." Just staring off at the exit where he was, like the way that he described where he was leaving. Just trying vision of naked Tuck screaming and running, and I shake myself back into reality. I gotta get back to this ship. And I maneuver my way back to the boat. Minus 12 gold. Plus a backpack. Plus a backpack. Well, I mean, I'm not gonna really change much.

Oh yeah, how much did that cost? Like 10 bucks. Okay, so 22 gold gone. There you go. Got it. Welcome back! I'm so sorry. No, you're okay. You got a kid. What's going on? Uh, no, I really just had to pee. Oh! Well, that's purely selfish. Yes. You mean no one's wearing the pens like me? I mean, I probably should. I'm dedicated to crap, is all I'm saying. Mom bladder is a thing, that's all I'm saying. So, you guys are back together. All three of you on the ship. What are we doing? You guys gotta be proactive here. Yeah, captain. Oh, it's up to me. Are we going to go talk to them?

I mean, I feel it. First of all, the box that I showed Dopin is just like, I imagine we're like kind of in the captain's quarters, like we're sitting around. We're just sitting on the desk. Like all nonchalant. It's a power move. Just sitting there. Am I back too? Yeah, let's, yeah. So, I guess she just, Delphine would ask Dopin like, what's up? Like, what'd you find out? Well, two things, captain. First, can I have the box? She'll look at him and then look at the box and say, yeah, I said you could have it when you got back. Go ahead. Damn it. And he like under his breath trying to whisper that so many free things today.

You'll see his new backpack as he puts it in. Oh, my backpack got ripped. That's part of the story. And he'll lean against one of the walls nearby, pull out an apple, start eating. So, Tuck's fine, I think. Somebody said they saw him running out of town. There's a direction. And I think it was, I don't know, Alex doesn't remember which direction the guy was running, but I'm assuming Jonas told me. Yes, he was running west. Okay. Somebody said they saw him running west out of town in the middle of the night. And here's the kicker. Takes another bite. Crunch. He was naked.

Screaming. Not like pain screaming, but like, you know, like Tuck in the middle of battle screaming probably, I'm guessing. So, he's probably raged up per usge. But yeah, he's out there somewhere going west. And that sounds like he's fine to you? I mean, he's alive. There's, you know, that's already a plus. And he didn't, there weren't any murders at least that we know of last night, right? He didn't kill anybody, I don't think. Yay! Great. But it looks like if we're gonna go get Tuck, we should probably head a little west to go get him. Okay. I forgot. How much, how much longer is that time frame that we had to deal with the...

They gave you three days. So, you got two now. I should probably deal with it sooner than later, right? I don't wanna go in without Tuck though, because like, what if something goes wrong? Yeah, I'm only one man. I'm sorry. I can't. Tuck is like three dudes. Right. I mean, maybe we could hire some other people, but maybe we should... Go look for Tuck. Tobin, did you say hire people out loud, or is this... I think she's kind of thinking, yeah, she's like thinking up there, she's like, we could hire some more people. Like, I'm sure there are people looking for some extra coin around.

Tobin raises his hand. Funny thing, I met a few guys today. I don't want to get too much into details, you know, it's a client, well, I guess almost client employer privilege there, but... I'm sure if we get them the right offer, they'd be willing to help us out. They look really surly. They fit right in. I mean, I'm not opposed, I'm not opposed to that because, I mean, we've already lost one member of the crew. We're gonna have to replace that soon at some point. Tobin chuckles. I mean, part of the crew, that's a term I'd use really loosely with this individual.

He looks at Lee for her, like, reaction. Yeah, and she's just scoffed at that, just like, he wasn't doing much of anything anyway. Tobin points. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm just saying. These guys? Ten Jerrys, easily. Well, no, let me pull that back, because one Jerry is like negative ten people. They're their own guys. They're their own guys. Fuck you guys. You're just kicking the hornet's nest that is our chat. I'm glad I'm not looking. Yeah, so, I mean, can we have already maybe sent, like, maybe like Adelbert to go send a message to like the lion folk? Or we can say we're gonna do that?

Okay. Sorry. Yeah, no. I mean, you're the captain. Yeah, that's true. I can do what I want. When are we moving the goods, is the question. Is that coming up soon? I didn't write any dates down. I was just concerned about the monies. Wow. That date comes after the potential meeting with the GISRA. Okay, we got a couple days for that too. Good. Perfect. Love it. Alright, we should investigate. We need to find Tuck. Like, so we should probably go a little west to see what's good there. And then maybe we'll just take the day to sort out this whole Tuck thing. And then tomorrow we'll deal with Gisrai and we'll go from there.

That sounds good. Well. I'll interrupt it for a second. One note, captain. We should probably hire these guys before tonight because they're planning to do something. I forgot completely that we had a meeting with the Gisrai. These guys are trying to rob the Gisrai. And I'm pretty sure they're gonna get wrecked. So maybe we could throw them off that scent. You know what I'm saying? Um. She's just like, wait. You want us to hire people that are potentially gonna ruin a business deal? Yes, because if we hire them, then they won't ruin the deal because we'll tell them we'll give you a continuous paycheck by working with us.

You see what I'm saying? It's kind of like, teach a man to fish as opposed to fish for the man. I think that's how the expression goes. I don't really know. I don't do a lot of fishing. I mean, at the very least they could help us find Tuk, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, they look like they'd make pretty good human shields if things got too heated. How much would we pay these individuals? I mean, hey. My name's Paul and that's between y'all. I don't really deal with other negotiations. Just my own. And he'll go back to leaning against the wall. Well, we should start with a short-term deal.

Probably less than what you guys get paid. That's probably nuts. How much can we get paid, Karen? It's really tough to say that check's in the mail when you're on the same ship. Yeah. Tuk has realized, have we not paid yet? Do you want to hash that out right now? Because we can deal some numbers. We haven't even made a successful. We haven't received payment for anything yet. We've received one payment. One payment? Okay. That's good. We're going to get a down payment before we left. Right? Because this is what I'm talking about. You get 25% before we leave and then if you survive. 25% of what?

What does the contract say about getting petrified? Do people lose their bonus for getting petrified and other people? No. I know. And I feel like there might be a bonus for every deal we make. Ah, okay. That way you're not waiting until the end to get paid like you might get paid in between. So there is a heart in there, okay. I'm a generous businesswoman, okay. She's trying to give us the money that Jason gave us because we've decided to take a deal. How generous are you, Karen? Tell me. Here's what I think. Because this is Theoryathon. I think we should open up these books.

I think we should know how much you guys are getting paid a week and then how much crew members are getting paid a week. And we go from there. Good. I'm in with that. Yeah, it's fine. What's a general basic crew member average rate in Theoryathon? Honestly, if it's just fishing or something like that, you're not going to pay people much. It depends on where you're going. This is slightly more dangerous, so they're probably making like, I don't know, $15, $20 a week because they also get free room and board. Free is, you know, so probably $15 or $20 a week, something like that, plus all their meals and shelters included, all that good stuff.

Okay. So on the higher end of that, we'll say $20 gold a week for a general crewmate. Now I've got 11 of the named ones. Well, there's only four of them now. That's true. Yeah. So people with extra responsibility, they'd be specialists. So if you've got like, say, a bosun, something like that, someone who's skilled at repairs and stuff like that, you know, they got a degree. So you're probably paying them $40 to $50 a week. So I feel like, and I don't know, I mean, I don't want to make all the decisions, right? But I feel like with how useful Adelbert has been to us, that maybe he's like a quartermaster.

Yeah, I could see him doing that. Yeah. So in this reality, Jonas is getting $40 to $50 gold a week. For doing nothing? Really? My hero, dude, Alex, personal hero Jonas. He is a chameleon. He is faceless. If I die, just give me Jonas. I'll make him into a character. I hate him so much. There's nothing to say that there won't be comeuppance. Mm hmm. As soon as to find out what's going on. This is this is the penance for Jerry, though. I feel like this is the this is karma. How dare. Jerry made his own burnt hole. Okay. Okay, if you're gonna toss friends out for burning something, don't don't ever talk to Bree again, because there's a cooking segment coming up.

I love the last one, by the way. Yeah, I like her humor in there. Perfect. She's like, I have respect for this knife. There's a mutual respect. And I was like, oh, that's because she's like, let's talk about knife safety. I'm like, yeah, let's talk about knife safety. Yeah. Ripped her finger apart with that. Dude, it took a while for that thing to stop bleeding. It was a good 30 minutes. Yes, it was a brand new knife straight out of the block. It was like, okay, let's wash these dry. Like, I've never seen anyone handle a knife like that before. I love you, Bree.

But okay, I swear to you, I was super concerned. The first words out of my mouth were, what the fuck? Like, that isn't what I wanted to say. I wanted to be comforting. But it was like, how? Like, we literally started the task. It's like, okay, let's get started. Like, instantly. And I just, I was so worried because that was a brand new knife. Anyway, there's a there's an argument about Jerry in the chat. There'll always be arguments about Jerry from now until the time. I think it ties NPC value and food together. And I think that it really did it. So you're you're Oh, oh, yeah, let's not let's not glaze over the the actual like the named members of the party.

How much how much are they getting a week? Um, well, I feel like so they have to be like above. Like a specialist, right? I would hope almost I was gonna say like, because technically, like tuck into a better like bodyguards, kind of like a specialist. But they also get like bonuses. Is that fair? Well, I'm also like kind of a guy because I've been here before he and a guide yet. Don't stop trying to up your value. Giving you the facts boss. It's a negotiation. I'm not getting negotiated negotiating for others, but I'm pretty accurate negotiating for myself.

As he pulls out another apple that obviously stolen from the kitchen. Is it stolen when your food and food is included? Pulls out pulls out a pair. So here's what I was thinking right for like, tuck and Tobin and Lee, maybe like 80 a week, but then you get like 2% of any deals we make. 2% Whoa, I've had this job before. If we're talking, I have expenses to pay for, sir. I mean, you know, honestly, you can make up numbers that resemble something solid enough because we've already signed work here, you know, like even if we did record, there's not much we can do.

I'm trying to be fair here. 2% of the what each deal 6000. Yes. Right. Yeah. Which we got paid right. I don't get paid until we deliver right. We got the first one you got. Oh yeah, yeah. So yeah, so 2% of that is 120 gold. Yeah, that sounds fine. I'm down with that. Okay. Okay, for each deal. I'm so the it's 2% What's the base pay again? 80 80 80. Jason's like looking at the means like this is a huge profit margin right here. This is this is how you get a Bezos. This is this is exactly how this is how you forge with this like the earth guy coming out of the pit.

This is exactly how one is made. I expect to see receipts. That's why she and I will save it to her I will I will share it to the group. And Alex are happy because they got doge we get so maybe this is all gravy. Alex said he's gonna buy everybody in chat some dogecoin. It's like they stick around to the end. If you sub that, maybe I'll buy a dogecoin. All right, we're taking off. We're hiring some goons. Before we go anywhere, I mainly want to like open some envelopes. Whoa. Oh. What kind of envelopes? It's a scary thought right? Like go big or go home right?

So many of them. I do like that you knew us and you knew that we would all go for legendary. So you've made more of those ones than any of the other ones. Of course. I got eight legendary left. Okay, before you do it, Karen, just remember, there's gonna be a lot of Ricky Bobby Evil coming out of the other. Just remember that. Don't you put that on me. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey. I'm feeling the number seven. In the chat, Michael J, damn Jason, all your friends are determined to see you lose that beard. I wasn't even thinking about that guy.

I'm sure it's more about self gain than hurting me. Like it's like that's a byproduct. All right, here we go. So while you guys are talking, I assume you're doing this in the captain's quarters. I'm going to guess. All right. So you're chilling. You got your dire cat and... Don't do anything to Gilbert. Oh my God. Sorry. The Boon, calm down. Gilbert becomes one of the cats from the Broadway musical Cats. Oh no. But the movie, it's the movie. Not the musical, the actual movie. Oh no, it's James Corden. So what do we got here? It is Boon number 19. Gilbert. Is going to sit up at one point.

Just kind of like jerk his head up. And he's got a big fucking furry head because it's basically a small tiger. And there's this big fucking helmet on his head. It's just kind of sliding around and he's like... You know how cats try to like walk out of something if it's a problem? Like that's what he's doing is like fuck that type of thing. And it's going to fall off and hit the floor. Sorry. I'm so short. Okay. You're going to be like what the fuck? Where did that come from? And then he creeps out and picks it up. It is... You have never seen this before. It is in your quarters and your cat's wearing it.

You've never seen this before. Ever, ever. Should like hold it up to the rest of the group. Does this belong to any of you guys? Told him, shakes his head. I mean I don't... I'm aware of things like that. Where the fuck did that come from? Yeah, it's not Tuck's because Tuck has, you know, the horns. Like me, but bigger. Bigger. Alright. I'm going to like set it down on the desk like alright. I don't know what the fuck to do with this. You're not going to try it on? And mess up my hair? That's fair. That's fair. What a wonderful Chekhov's gun that is loaded. And you know what you just did?

Oh my god. You just Ironman'd them. It's Rhodey looking at the suit of armor and going, "Next time." And that's what you just did. And I love it. Oh my god. But we have to know the bad one. I'm manifesting something not terrible. A Kraken emerges. One through eight. One through eight. Three. Three. Summer broke cat in the hat. Oh, the Mike Myers. Yes, let's do that. Honestly, I wouldn't hate it. God. You've had a kid for too long. Holy shit. I'm going to need some dice rolls from you. Oh god. Give me a 1d6. Okay. Okay. So this thing is about to take place on a lore. Give me a 1d20.

Sorry. Just a raw d20. Sorry every group that's on Alara. Yeah, right? Holy shit. Okay. Let me bring up my map. I'm about to describe some shit to you guys. And I need visual aid. Don't kill Lee's wife, please, Jason. Oh my god. I promise nothing, personally. But like, Sephiroth appears on Alara. Kills everybody. Guys, no consequences. No consequence. So here's what's going to happen. Oh, this is great. Let me check the date. Oh god. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, great, great, great, great, great. Ride with me on this. Here we go. So as you guys are on the ship, you're going to feel it shake.

Just a little. Like just a, just like, like a, like a jostle. You guys are tied off at the dock. There's no bad weather. That's really weird. It's like an earthquake, but you're not on Earth. You're just in water. Like there's nothing you shouldn't really, it's, yeah. So. Someone is going to come knocking on the door. And if you let them in, they're going to tell you, there is a huge column of light and you should probably come see this. Quick, quick, quick. Quick like a bunny. Yeah, I think Sylvan kind of finishes another apple and runs out the door. Yeah, right?

Joffian's like there too. Oh man. So this is definitely coming from the mainland. Like you, like it does not take a genius, but it doesn't look like it's in one of the shore cities. It looks like it's much more inland. And you guys wouldn't know this, but I'm going to tell everybody here. You see this center area? Let me draw a little, little pointer like right there. Where is that? That's near Esterhole. I don't know. What's the town down there with the, with them boys? It's a little north of Esterhole. It's a little north of, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the home of the new gods.

Jesus Christ. What did you do, Ray? They did go through with this. They, they, there are no more demon lords. That is gone. Oh no. We are done. Now I need to explain some things of that because I've seen a lot of speculation. And these are new entities. It isn't like taking peanut butter and jelly and squash them together. These are brand new, brand new amalgamations, basically. And it's gonna, it's gonna be an adjustment period. And the good news? The good news is that they have a definitive home. They are smack dab right in the middle of Alara. High up in the mountains, you could climb to them.

I, this, I would not advise it. These are not, they're ambivalent at best. These are not, hey, could you do us a favor? Let me borrow a cup of sugar? That's over. That didn't work. This is new. This is going to be a bit different. There's an adjustment period for all of us. I... Some consequences. Some consequences. I, oh boy, let me take a vote in the chat. How much, do you hate that? Yes or no? Instant feedback's fun. So, okay. These are new gods, these are new entities, new beings, essentially. And the old ones are gone? Gone, yes, that's how I put it, gone. They don't exist anymore.

No more demon lords, no more old gods, this is new. This is, this is, things weren't working. We should not have to rely on mortals to do our jobs for us. We put too many restrictions on ourselves. This does not work. We can't do our jobs and be fighting a war with demons constantly forever. Oh, I forgot about the line. If that line is going to be held or not. It's, it's done. That's, well, we're going to get into it, but yeah. I love Balath's comment, "Jason, we just made a book." Yes we did. That's why we make a Rata. Book two everybody, here we go. I'm waiting for the chat to just empty out and that's it, that's me.

That's, I've done too much. That's it. Holy shit. So we don't know this though, we just see this light and we just are filled with wonder like, wow, what the hell is that? But we know it's in the middle of Alara. Oh, there's only one group playing on Alara right now. So, Oui is going to stare at that for a while and she will just, you know, she'll like process that, "We felt a shake here across the ocean." You know, what could it be like there? And she would just turn to the captain. We need to go back home now. I have, I have family back home. What if they're dead?

I, we need to go back home. Fuck the Ghisariah and the lion folk. We can, we can come back. Tobin just looking at the captain like, that's pretty fair. Delphine is gonna put her hand on Lee's shoulder and she'll be like, "I also have family back there, so we will go, we'll go home." But we need to find Tuck first. We can't just abandon him here. And you could see that she's tense, like she wants to just be like, "Nope, take off right now." But she'll, she'll nod. Yeah, let's go, let's go get him and then, and then let's go. We can, can you leave the deal with your boyfriend, with the lion folk, or we could just cut ties.

Both sides will be fine without us. Tobin's gonna interject. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I'm all for going home, or home. And I think there's probably something we could do in the middle of this. What's the word? In the interim, I think. I know religion's not a really big thing here, but maybe we can find someone who's got enough juice to send a message to somebody. I don't know if that's something they can do. And maybe we can check on both of your families. I personally don't have any stakes anywhere. But maybe we could try that first before we jump the gun here.

Is that a doable thing, Jason? Specifically, what are you asking? Is the spell, does the spell message exist in Theria? Yeah. I mean, you might want to check your list. There's a range, but yeah. Yeah, Tuck is just, or Tuck, wow. Tobin is just working under the assumption that like, if you find someone who's got big, big bad mojo, we could use it maybe, or something similar. I know there are other spells that exist too, I'm sure. I don't think Tobin's probably seen them used, but he knows that there's word of people who can spy on other people, or messages that can be sent, things like that.

So, I guess to wrap it up in character, he'll be more like... Yeah, I mean, from what I remember, temples and churches, they got those, you know, people like the captain, but they're more specialized. Religion is their base, their kind of, their job, right? And their divine beings give them gifts, things that make them a little bit stronger than others. At least from the guys that I've met along the way. I'm sure maybe one of them, maybe, hopefully someone here on this continent can, you know, give us answers that we need before we make crazy decisions.

Well, not crazy, but big decisions to go back, because that was a hell of a trip to get here. I feel like I've heard of a spell that you might be able to see somebody. If there's anybody here who can do that, we can just maybe look to see if your wife is okay. You wouldn't be able to talk with her, but... I need to know. And... fine. As you said, it would take weeks to get back. Whatever works. May I? Can I get... give me an intelligence save. All of you. Intelligence save? Save. Are we under mental assault? No! Okay. And it's a good thing. Negative one incoming baby.

Oh my god! Good job! I have the knowledge of the universe entering my brain. This is kind of to simulate, you know, when you're in a terrible situation, something, just panic running through you, right? Up is down, black is white, what the hell is going on? In situations like that, like, okay, you gotta drive someone to the hospital. Let's say they cut themselves with a knife. So like, "Oh shit, where are my keys? What are keys?" Like that. Like you're trying to stable yourself, stay yourself. It's just like, oh. There's another means of transportation off of this continent that would not take weeks.

The gates are now fully operational. It's not crazy pleasant, but it's not deadly. Where is the gate, John Tor? Braille remembers. You're gonna have to take a hike. You're gonna have to take a bit of a hike outside of town. Oh. Mmm. Just food for thought. Do we know about the gates? Is that what the intelligence was for? That was the safe. Yeah. It's like, "Oh shit." Like, wait. It's one of those, like, air travel exists. Like you just forgot. It's like planes. It's one of those things. So probably, Lee and I have heard stories of people who are like, "Oh man, have you heard about this thing?" And we're just like, "Oh, that's crazy people talk or drunk people talk." But now, I would assume since Lee's reaching for straws at this point, it's like, why the fuck not?

Yeah. And she'd be like thinking and just like, "Okay, let's go get talk. Let's see if we can find a magic user to do a scrying." And then I've heard of something and just kind of look at Tobin that might be able to get us back faster. We could leave the boat here with the crew and hopefully be back before, you know, it would be shorter than us leaving for months at a time and we could maybe keep the business going. Tobin puts his head down like he's thinking. I guess, yeah, I mean, I think I know what you're talking about. I don't personally know where it is.

But hey, whatever you need, I'm here to help. I'm contractually obligated to accompany my boss. So, plus, Lee, you're not too bad. I've seen in these last few days. I like your style. I just don't want to be on the other side of that. So I'm going to side with you on this one and say, yeah, let's go do whatever it is you think we should do. And she's all right now. She's all very gur because she's very worried, but she'll just smile and give him a bro nod. A bro nod back, yes. Maybe Roland knows where it is. I feel like Tobin just deflates. Listen, we don't know how long he's been here for.

You might know something. Gotta go collect the axe too, you know. Just kill two birds. Oh yeah, that axe. Oh yeah, I forgot what the axe is. That's what we want to do. We want to toss that guy another powerful weapon. That's what we want to do. Well, first we gotta find the guy, get him some clothes. Very true. First things first, we need to find Tuck, though. We'll do that first. Okay, yeah. That being said, I think it's a good time for us to stop for the night. Wow. Not the night, Jason, it's the moon. Well, no, you guys stop for the afternoon. I don't fucking know anymore.

What is time? Who cares? I want an envelope. Mayonnaise really wants an envelope. Okay, do you want to draw one to end the session? Yes. She's like, "What the fuck is going on?" And just like, "And the answer, that heaven answers." I want to leave some big ones for the other groups. Also, I'm being chicken shit right now, so I'm gonna take it uncommon. Uncommon? I'm glad you're doing that, because I want to see what those are too. Yeah. I thought about common, but I was like, "I went a little bit higher." Smidge. Uncommon. Now, most of these are gonna say things like, "For today or for the..." So, because this is the end of your session, this is gonna carry over to your next one.

Your next full session. Does that sound good? Yeah. Because I'd hate for you to get a buff you can't use. Plus, it makes sense to me, because next session will likely be us getting Tuck and then trying to find the thing for her anyways, for Lee. And honestly, we've gone as far as we can without Michael, and I don't want to ditch him. So, I figured we could take the rest of our time here and answer questions in the chat, because I bet there's at least one or two. And I think there was a poll. I don't know the results of that poll. I might be loathed in the chat right now, so we'll see.

Turns out nine was the magic number to wrap up this show. Nine years. Okay. I need a number between one and five, Mandy. One and five? I'm gonna pick three. It's been right in the middle. It's been the hot one so far. It's been pretty good. I don't think that's steered anybody wrong. Thank you, Wesley, for being three years old. Three was my bad one. Oh, well, yeah. Well... It also looks like butts, so... It looks like butts? As it used to stand, groupie. Yeah. So, let's... This is a good one. Let's get that out of the way. I would hope so. It's a boon! Yes, yes, yes.

But, like, more than that, it's a good... it's a good boon. The gold and the beautiful. Any gold earned today is doubled. Karen, give me my money. My paycheck. I need it now. You know what? Let's... can I get a 1d4, Karen, to see when payday is? Because it's got to be coming up, right? Yeah. Let's do it. Oh, it's in three days. Oh, checks in the mail. It's coming. Maybe we can speed up the process of the weapons deal or whatever. Get paid tomorrow. I love poor decision making because of timelines. Yes, let's do that. It's real life. Isn't it something you knew of?

Oh, boy. Ah, man, I can't wait to answer questions. I need you... Ooh, baby... to pick an uncommon for me, please. What numbers? I got six here. I would like five. I think the fact that they're in envelopes and he doesn't know what they are makes it even more scary. Yeah. Yeah, that's the fun, right? It intensifies it. The fact that Jason's like, I don't know, it's something I wrote a while back? I might have been in a good mood. I might have been in a bad mood. Looks like your letter to Hogwarts. Yeah, it's fun. Wax sailing's fun, guys. No... What? OK, this is a fun one.

OK... As... as Bane's go... It's kind of a fun one. Like, it's not a bad one, right? So, OK, let me flash it up for the audience. So, a very large dog is going to run onto the ship. And it's going to almost tackle Lee. This is... a very happy, kind of dumb looking dog. Let's call her Luna. Just... just... let's put a name on it. This dog... is... wonderfully kind to you. Completely... misbehaving. Untrainable. And will never leave your side. Oh... Wow. We are going to have some issues. A dog and a cat. She just is like, what is this... She was like, on the verge of panic and suddenly a dog is coming with her.

What the fuck? Yeah, there's a dog in Fallout 2 that follows you at one point and if it gets on you... Yeah, it's bad luck. Your luck goes like... You get a negative point of luck or something for the rest of the game. I have a dog. It's before Dogmeat. Was it called Dogmeat in Fallout 2 also? Oh, I don't know. I thought it was always Dogmeat, like that was the joke. It might have been. In Fallout 2, it wasn't good. In Fallout 2, he was terrible. In Fallout 4, obviously, he's a good companion. He's the best boy. The best boy. He's good. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors.

Please don't go anywhere. We have two more Theriathon episodes to get through and as I'm recording this, in a couple of hours, I'm going to sit down with Firebrand and continue their story and get that recorded. So we're going to have a bunch of stuff in the can. We're going to be throwing it at you guys. I'm really excited about this next step. A long time ago, I would give a pep talk to the cast and tell them, okay, we're taking off the kid gloves now. I'm not comfortable enough and I think we're due for that again, guys. Kind of get back to our roots a little bit because I want to kick these stories into overdrive and everybody at Theriathon kind of went to the next step.

Now, I mean, I really want to make sure all of these stories have closure. I'm not exactly sure when that's going to be, but we're going to take the more natural approach this time. Thank you guys so much. Make sure to check out Patreon at patreon.com/dandr. We're going to be trying some new stuff on there pretty soon. We may be working on a new show. We'll give you guys a bit more info on that as soon as we can. But right now, like I said at the top of the episode, we are going to be going back to the format of Living in Theria where we just tackle one topic.

We're going to be talking about the new gods in May. You guys can ask us any questions you want and we'll try to answer them all. On top of that, we just posted the newest episode of New Bloods, which was fantastic. It is a glorious train wreck if you haven't had a chance to listen. That is enough rambling out of me. We'll see you guys next week with another Theriathon episode. And until then, please fill out that survey to help us shape the new book and please take care of yourselves. As always, good luck with your games.