Something to Live For

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[clink] [clink] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um... [clears throat] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason Hunt, the Don't You Basket, going around the table and starting with Bre! Hi, I'm Breanna and I play Santos, the gifts that I sigh on. And Izzy. Hi, I'm Izzy and I play Oona, the half-elf paladin. [snorts] So pumped on this, apparently. And Jasper.

This is Jasper and I play Maric-eth Red, human cleric. And Mac! Hi, I'm Mac. I play Oona, the wild and shaman. Wow. Okay. [laughter] I have died. If I can do it, you can do it, Jasper. Come on. Did you hear? Did you hear her soul crack? Did you hear, like... I did. I did. I can't really yell because I've got... I know, but I've got two kids that are sleeping very close by and I can't yell. That was actually my biggest reason. Okay. Okay. I'll do it again if you want. No, that's okay. No. Yeah, go into the room and scream it. Just scream at them. I want their first memory to be you screaming. [laughter] It was. [laughter] The first time I held them I just looked down at their angelic face and went, "Aaaargh!" [laughter] Guys!

Mmm. Last time on the show, you bid a fond farewell to Ordon. Because at Oona's dinner with Duskwalker, a lot of things came to light. But one of them was that Stone Sunder was looking for some aid in dealing with the orc problem that they've had for decades and stuff. But I guess they're looking for something to kind of turn the tide. Something to kind of break their stalemate. Ordon didn't exactly like that, so he decided to head back to his people and kind of check in and see what the hell would cause them to do something like that. And we might be hearing about that at some point, but for now, you guys are still in the city of Uminero and you're getting some research done.

Duskwalker gave Oona a few things. He wanted to give her more. Didn't exactly work out, but did-- Ah, you mean his penis. I did. So, did give Oona an artifact, a time dilation orb, which could be immensely helpful at some point. Also gave her access to some kind of forbidden books that Emerson didn't have access to beforehand, so that might be huge for you guys. Where would you guys-- So, okay, we're picking up on the 15th of Thorin. This is after Ordon leaves, and I guess you guys are getting ready to start your day proper in the city. What would you guys like to do?

How would you like to kick things off? On to Starbucks. Okay. Start writing your novel. You gotta do it in public. Umm, his screenplay, is he? Come on. I don't know. I mean, we've already had our little continental breakfast. After breakfast, Kaluna would want to pull Merrick aside somewhere. Oh, sure. Yeah, so, umm, I know. Back in one of their rooms, I assume? Sure, like getting ready and getting packed up for the day and all the armor on properly and all that kind of stuff. What's up? We're not a child, Merrick. I knew this was coming, and you're right. I'm sorry.

Go ahead. This is not where I was expecting it to go. You're right, but you need to say everything you need to say because you need to make sure I can hear it. And I want you to know I'm listening. Kaluna's gonna just... A very similar reaction, like, "Oh, okay. This is already resolved, but I..." Just that kind of look like, "Okay, umm." But then they'll sort of straighten up and kind of puff themselves up a little bit like, "Yeah, yeah." We're not good with your words, but we know things, Merrick. Back home, we helped people. We're smart. We just don't have the words.

Merrick's gonna be just listening. He's not gonna try to speak or anything. He's gonna make sure that Kaluna says everything that they want to say. They clearly want to say more, but they're frustrated. Like they said, they don't have the words, so they're just sort of staring at him like, "Duh, duh, duh." So Merrick is going to reach out his hand. I imagine that for some reason he was sitting down, like he sat on the edge of the bed or something like that while Kaluna's standing there. He's gonna hold out his hand and try to take Kaluna's hand. You know, like offer to take Kaluna's hand.

They will not object. And so he's being very heartfelt and very sincere. He's gonna say, "I... You're not a child. You know more about a lot of things than most people I've ever met." "But you're right. The words sometimes aren't easy to come. And that means the words sometimes aren't easy to give back to you. But I need to do better. And I need to make sure that you know that you are deserving of the same respect, no matter what words are hard or what words are easy. So, I'm sorry. I had a lot to drink last night and I kind of beat around the bush. Didn't really give you the respect you deserved.

And I'm sorry." Kaluna's just gonna nod and they're gonna pat him on the head and then they're gonna go meet up with everyone else. So, I'm assuming everyone's kind of getting their stuff together. They get breakfast. They're waking up for the day. What would be the first order of business? Because you've fulfilled your obligation in terms of having the little dinner date. And you got to kind of take a look around the city. Is today pretty much just business? Is it just like, "Okay, let's get this research done. Let's just go." Or is it more, are there other things you wanted to do in the city?

What else is there to do in the city? Is there anything that we would be aware of? Of course it's the big educational center and the library and all of that. But is there anything else that it's known for that's a little bit more, "While you're here." Well, as you saw the last time we sat down yesterday in game, there are things in the city that you just wouldn't have access to otherwise. But it's more, one, it's more expensive, pampery type stuff. Like there are shops where you can buy really nice clothing and stuff. Because there are no real metal workers in Uminyuro.

There's no smiths. They don't have any need for that kind of stuff. What they do have are people who work with clothing a lot. Like a lot of cloth work gets done in Uminyuro. Hmm. That's interesting. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff like that. And their shopping district would look a little different. It's a little different. It's like the difference between shopping in like, let's say you're in Jersey or New York or something like that. Then going to Portland, Oregon or something. It's like, "Huh, I've never seen a shop that sold this stuff before." There's no real need to worry about survival in the city.

So if you start walking around and thinking about what shops would look like that way. Like a lot of like, "Oh wow, we just sell wine. That's all. This shop just sells wine. That's all we do." Or like really fine casket-aged booze, things like that. It's more about living in Uminyuro. It's more about just like, "Oh, I'm going to relax." Or getting something here that you couldn't get otherwise. Like they especially carve staves and wands and things like that. Magic implements something to channel magic through. Books. Woo, bookshops are huge here. Of course they have libraries where you can check things out within the city and not leave with them.

But they also have bookstores and things where if you're looking for something very specific or you're looking for Archean Knowledge religious. Or just books on flora and fauna, basteries, things like that. They have that here too. Wow. I love this place. It's a nice city. Merrick would have a couple of things that he might want to go check out. Has Una downloaded everything to us in terms of what Dustwalker said and did? Yeah, that would have been a conversation that would immediately happen. So everything I know, you guys know. I haven't specifically said, "Let's look into the map and everything that they gave us yet." But that can all be compiled into giant research things.

Just making sure so that this would make sense for Merrick to say. So, alright, look. If Dustwalker has some lost and forbidden textbooks that could help and he wants to get those. I'm sure he's channeling those through Emerson, right? Through the library. And that might be a little bit of time for them to do a little bit of research, for Emerson to look through those things. So I feel like going there first thing is not going to be that fruitful, right? We need to give some time a little bit. And honestly, that would give me some time to pick up a few things that I wouldn't mind picking up and sort of exploring for just a few minutes.

Does anybody else have any objections to that? No objections? Wait, quick aside. So I talked to Dustwalker about a sick bay/like. Did he send... He would have sent you... An itinerary? Yeah, he would have sent you to a person called Haith. Yeah. And that is... Have you told Bree about this yet? I mean, like, no, but I would like talk to her beforehand. I'd just be like, hey, you want to go with me somewhere? Bt dubs, you're getting an appointment. Like taking a dog to the vet? You're like, you know, the park? Walkies? We go for walkies? Come on out to the car. Don't say vet.

Yeah, but it'll just merit first. Say, yeah, no no objections to that. I'm sure it'll take them a while to kind of pour through all the materials that we've accumulated. Got a couple of things that I want to take care of myself, actually. Cool. So maybe a couple hours. I don't know what time of morning it is, but maybe we could just meet up at like lunchtime, noon or something like that. And let's put it this way. I'm happy to go down and talk to Emerson and see where things are. We don't all have to go down as a group, but I'm going to give him a couple hours, maybe about lunchtime.

I'll go down to see what's up. Sure. Sounds good? You need a library at lunch? Perfect. Sounds like you're splitting up a little bit, maybe? Yeah. Or is it just, yeah. I think this is the safest place to split the party possible. Yeah, this is like going to the mall. It's like, it's just like, I'm going to go down that side, you go down that side, well, I'll meet you back at the food court. Right. And if you lose Dantos, probably in the arcade. Yeah, oh, definitely. Or stealing something out of an enterprise. More like Hot Topic. I was going to, I was, I was, I was going to spend service.

Yeah, Hot Topic. Which, by the way, I spent $70 there on Black Friday. Don't you fucking hate? Did you get all the Suicide Squad t-shirts or like just two of them? Did you buy the set? I hate you. I got a Gravity Falls t-shirt and it's adorable. I know. And a Pokemon one. Because of course I did. Anyway. Be honest, were they still selling the Suicide Squad t-shirts though? Yeah, they were fucking everywhere. Goddamn it. Okay. Well, who throws 90% Suicide Squad? Yeah, if you guys just kind of scatter the wind and let Dantos go, she will just go and just eat Dantos.

Oh no, like, yeah, Oona will like, yeah, take care of her. Like be like, hey, no. Kaluna would go with Dantos if she wanted to split off. Okay, there you go. Is that a good idea? She needs a babysitter. Listen, Kaluna's trying to prove that they're an adult. That's true. Well, no, I think that's actually a good point. Okay, I think Merrick would actually be like, yeah. I feel like it's a little bit like leaving the giant dog to watch the baby, but okay. Yeah. It's like leaving a horse to watch over your dog. Yeah. Alright, so it sounds like Merrick's gonna go wander around for a little bit.

Kaluna and Dantos are gonna go elsewhere or something? They're going to set everything on fire, clearly. They're just gonna go where the most shiny stuff is, like honestly. Oh, it's like going shopping with your favorite aunt. Like in the mall. Yeah, exactly. Like, you don't have to focus on us. It's cool. Like, I don't want to distract from shit. Like, I know we got stuff to do. So they'll just go wander around and be cool. Cool. So where should we begin? Well, as far as Kaluna and Dantos goes, I would imagine it's probably a similar situation to when you guys first entered the city and Dantos is like, there's literally a guy like tossing fire in the air.

And it's like, look at me. Like, I'd imagine it's a little bit of that. Like, they have people that just show off. They have people who are trying to get people into classrooms, but also they have people just like, I learned a thing. Who wants to see? And there'll be, you know, crowds of people. And as long as none of them try to touch her, we will have a perfectly lovely night out. Well, here's the thing. Think street performers, that type of thing. But instead of playing music, it's more about like, look at this thing I can do. Check that shit out. Like, it's more that.

And I imagine honestly, because it's Kaluna and Kaluna has kind of been Dantos's like partner in crime more than once now, Dantos has no problem sticking with Kaluna and like even grabbing their hand and pulling them towards the next cool thing that she saw. Kaluna will look like a conservative mother in a hot topic. Just like, oh no. I mean, you're having fun, but this is awful. Do you have to wear so many dark colors, sweetie? You own too many black shirts. You can't buy anymore. But I want my trip pants, mom! I heard that argument once. Mom, when I go to the rave, I need trip pants.

You are not going to a rave. That was real. Anyway. What are trip pants? They're the really baggy pants that you can hook glow sticks onto. And you often see them with a furry tail hanging out. Oh Christ. Usually bright pink or blue. Moving on. I don't want to picture this anymore. Okay, wait, I have a question. Are they called trip pants because they're so baggy you trip over the ends of them or because you know you are tripping in them? Honestly, I always felt like it was because that you trip in them. Here, I'll bring some images into the chat. Why do you need special pants to go trip?

It's not like wearing cargo shorts. Because it's cool, Jason. So they can hide your fucking Molly Boner. Is that a thing? Those are trip pants. Probably. I don't fucking know. Oh god, those things. Yeah, those are trip pants. Don't Google Molly Boner, by the way. Anyway. Ew. Just ew. Jason, I have a story for you about those pants later. Not about me. Anyway, so yeah, that's essentially what Kaluna and Thanos are doing. And as long as no one touches Thanos, we're just gonna have a lovely time looking at fire and shit. Yeah, that's not... Okay, if you guys were in Brightport or something like that, you guys would probably get harassed.

I don't see that happening in Uminero. The biggest thing that would happen is someone's like, "Wow, where are you from?" Because you two as a pair, there's a Gith's Arai, and there's a Wildan. Now, I'd say more than half of the Dennisons of Uminero, even as scholars they are, is like, "I've never seen an actual Wildan." And they're like, "Nee-to." Like that type of thing, and they might ask you a couple of questions. Kaluna would hide behind Thanos every time. Like, you can punch them if they get too close. You have our permission. Should we roll to see if anyone gets too close?

Because she would. You know what? Oh no. Oh no! What have we done? Do me a favor, roll a flat d20 on a 16 or higher. We might have a problem. You know what, Mac, it was your idea. I think you should make the roll. I don't have access to my dice. Okay, never mind. Fuck it. Yeah, let's go! Oh, yes, now I do. Hold on. Okay, you do it. Oh, fine. You guys are fine. You're fine. There's an air of "Don't fuck with me" around Thanos. Yeah. People just don't fuck with me. Maybe people are just doing their own thing. They're not thinking about it. But yeah. So... No, it's definitely the aura that she gives off.

Okay. How's about we pick up with Una and Bree? I would imagine Julie would probably go out on her own and do her own thing. Because she's not used to this whole group living. Traveling with Una was one thing because it's like, yeah, it's kind of a cantankerous relationship and they get each other or whatever, but it's a lot of silence. I think a lot of the talk in the party is just kind of grating to her eventually. Because she's very much no-nonsense, like, let's cut to the chase. There's a lot of kick gloves being used. And to her it's just like, oh my god, people fuck for money.

They fuck for money. Just tell her. Tell them. How would Una broach this? I'm curious. So she'd come right out with it and just say, "So if you hadn't noticed, your health has been deteriorating." I've... I know. So she's trying to make it kind of jokey. Well, so I asked Duskwalker about some good healer or magical doctor or whatnot in the city who might be able to help. Give me a name if you want to go check that out. Okay, let's say we go do this. What do they want to do? I dunno. He didn't tell you? You just... I mean, I didn't go into detail about your condition.

I feel like that's kind of private, yeah? Okay, no, thank you. Okay, fine. Let's... It couldn't hurt, right? I mean, it might hurt a little bit, but hopefully it'll get better, yeah? I didn't mean physically. I meant the overall situation, yeah. Okay, yeah, let's go. And then, worst case scenario, we can leave and get some ice cream. They have ice cream in Theria, right? Not... not, no. Oh my god, what kind of hell world do we live in? Well, there's not a lot of freezers in Theria. You have fucking mages! Well, yeah, but not like... okay. People used to make ice cream with just ice.

Yeah, I'm just saying, there's not like shops that sell ice cream. There's not like a calden halyck in every fucking... like it's just... Fine, we can go get some fucking caramels or something. They have candies and stuff. Fuck that! And pies! I want ice cream! Well, season two is the quest to invent chocolate and ice cream now, okay? And coffee. And coffee. They don't have coffee? No. We've had this discussion. They have tea. You're a foreigner. Anywho, so going to the address that Duskwalker gave you, there is an elderly elf. A female elf named Haith. Like a Haith bar?

That's a Haith bar. I know. Okay. She would greet both of you when you come in. Hello, is there anything I can do for you? We'll just kind of like nudge Bree forward a little bit. Yeah, she would kind of reluctantly like she was kind of depending on you to do... Like it's like, "Hey, this is your idea." And then just kind of like nudge forward just kind of an annoyed look back. Just... Okay, fine. I was told that you might be able to help out with a couple of ailments I've had recently. And yeah, just very, very not into this at all. Like very... So Haith would guide her back because there's kind of a front of house scenario.

So this is like, "Okay, well, let's get some privacy and close the door." Do they have magazines? Yeah, there's like a waiting room type of thing. All right. If they have one of those little things, you go to like the dentist when you're a kid or the doctor's office when you're a kid and they have like those little... The little beads with the... Toys with the beads that you find. Yeah. The little things. Yeah. I was gonna start playing with that. Okay. That's good. That'll help with her hand-eye coordination. Object permanence. Spatial reasoning. Let's... Okay.

While this is going on, let's catch up with Merrick. Well, well, well. Just had a few things that he would want to take care of. Okay, let's do it. It's very simple and very Merrick. Here's my list. He wants to find... Because he's in a place where there's gonna be some stuff that he's not gonna find elsewhere, right? This is kind of like the big city in a way. Kind of, yeah. So he's gonna stock up on like spices and like all sorts of things to be able to cook with and whatever the equivalent of like truffles or truffle oil. You know, like something that's real expensive and...

But you could only have a little bit of it or that kind of thing. Just stuff that would really give him some oomph as he's cooking and putting stuff together. Oh, yeah. We could totally do that. Yeah, and I think he's probably... He'd probably want to grab some wine. Like something special. Just something... Something... Because there's nothing else to commemorate being there other than just like getting something nice and expensive. He's been pampered. Get some nice wine. How nice are we talking? Because, okay... Not 800 and something gold pieces. Okay. Because there is a...

Okay. Let me tell you. There's varying degrees of nice. Like if you're looking to get sloshed off your ass... No, no, no. Okay. So... No, in fact, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for him to go get some wine and drink it. He wants to take some wine with him. Like it's something special. Like a special bottle. Yeah, he could keep it in his pack somewhere. Okay. There is some lovely wine that comes from Esterholt. That would be like fairly expensive, but not like crazy expensive. Because they do sell this very, very, very limited edition wine that was bottled by the Aladrin.

A long time ago. That's the thing. I think he'd be looking for something... Because he could get that in Esterholt if he went to Esterholt, right? Well, not the Aladrin one, but the Esterholt one. No, no, no. If this played out and somebody was like, "Well, what about something like this?" He'd be like, "I can get that." But if there's something from another continent or if there's something from... Ooh. Something with a story behind it, like the Aladrin. Ooh. Okay, here's the Aladrin one. Do me a favor. Roll a flat D20. See what kind of options... Oh, that's a good roll.

Okay. So... This wouldn't be wine, but they'd have some harder stuff. They'd have some casket-age stuff from Talor. That's obviously something... They also have something very special. Give it. Okay. They have something bottled from Kodai. Now, there used to be a full... An actual civilization there in Kodai and it was a continent that was built up. That was centuries ago. We're talking a long time ago. Gone. Dead. Now all that's there is this desert wasteland type of thing. But this... You can tell this bottle is ancient. This is old. Ooh. Would it even be any good at this point?

Well, a lot of this stuff is magically preserved or there's something about it that's special. So we could guarantee that this is good stuff. Oh. That it's not gone bad or anything. This is the kind of thing you'd crack open if you saved the world. Jesus. Okay. Yes. I want that. Okay. Now... Obviously something like this comes with a price tag. I put down 20 gold pieces and... This is the kind of thing that's in a case by itself. Behind the counter. No touching. That type of thing. Gotta know though. Okay. I would give you a chance to maybe sweet talk a bit. Maybe...

Maybe... Maybe... Because there is a lovely lady behind the counter. Oh, I like lovely ladies. I know. And I've just been freshly pampered. Yeah. You look good. You got your lemmy stash rocking. You're doing it. Okay. Yeah. I want... That's true. It's been a while since he's been tickled. So... How smooth... We've never really approached this. Like how smooth is Maric? He's not particularly smooth. Here's the thing. He's a really super sweet and nice guy. But don't forget. It's been a long time since he... I mean really it's just been the party and the people they've encountered that he's really been getting back into his social graces.

So I mean he's not doing too bad. But I don't know. I think he's a little bit... A little awkward. But not like fucked up awkward. Right. No. Just like someone who hasn't dated in a long time. So they show up to a singles bar and they're just like... Yeah. A little... Yeah. But more like the person who hasn't dated because they're a lot older now. And not somebody that's not dated because they're still young and they just never haven't... You know what I mean? It's just like I haven't been on the dating scene in a while. But I'm a nice person. Maybe you should give me a chance.

He's... Not that I'm there. I'm not. I'm married. Everything's good. She's French but I don't date around. Right. Yes. I don't know. I think he's okay. I think he could try. Let's put it this way. He would be able to try his smoothness. Yeah. Let's try it. So let's set this up. So there's a lovely lady behind the counter. Merrick's like, "What's this?" And then she gives the story. He's gonna sort of lean forward a little bit and put his elbows on the counter and say, "I'm guessing there's no way to sample anything like that. I'm guessing, right?" I'm genuinely sorry, sir.

That's the only bottle we have. Anything like that. Totally understand. You see, I'm kind of on a little bit of a quest and I'm looking for something special to commemorate it. What's the cost on something like this? Well, that particular bottle is 3500 gold. That's great. That sounds great. That's in my price. That's in my range. But I was hoping that there might be a half bottle available. He's clearly not happy. He's choking. Right. Yes. Can I have a half bottle? Tears. Slight tears in his eyes. Do me a favor. Roll a diplomacy check. I want to see. Okay. This is okay.

I'll give you an option. You can either roll a diplomacy check and the diplomacy check would be more to to kind of pass this off. It's like, yeah, I have money, but you know, that type of thing. Or you can roll a raw charisma check and see if you can outright charm this lady. My diplomacy is really good, though. I mean, I'd like to charm her, but I feel like I've got to do my diplomacy here. Basically, he's just trying to see what he can not get anything free out of this. He's not trying to like swindled her. No, just bring that down a bit. Just basically just give it like a little bit of a hardship.

Like, I really wish I could, but I've got my buddies and I'm going to do a diplomacy here. Twenty four. That's not bad. That's not bad. Well, we don't have any half bottles of this particular vintage. It's honestly such a rare find. I'm not sure if we'll ever sell it. It's been in the shop since I've been here. But what's your business in the city? If you don't mind me asking, I don't want to pry. No, no, it's not a problem. He's going to try to turn on the suave a little bit. He's going to say, yeah, no, it's no big deal. We've got some friends of mine. We're finding out a little information, whatever we can.

I've been talking to Emerson. He's the head researcher here. You may know him. Got another friend here who's talking to the Archmage, Dust Walker. Had dinner last night with him. He's like kind of just trying to throw his, his, his, I'm a little special. My boyfriend, the senator. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, you know, we all had a lot of dinner last night and and it learned a lot of great stuff. Basically, we're trying to save the world. If I can just be honest with you. OK. He's going to grin. There's going to be a sparkle on his teeth. Well, we'll see. I want you to roll a raw charisma check now.

Yeah, I want to see. Oh, shit. She is going to she's going to sort of lean in a little bit to kind of join you on the counter. Really? That's that's fascinating. Yeah. Well, you know. How long are you in the city? Probably just a couple of days. I think we're we're going to be taking off here pretty soon. Maybe today, maybe later. But I'd love to see you again. He's going for the long game here, by the way. I'd love to see you again. And this was really interesting. Thank you so much for telling me about this. I'm going to talk to some of my friends and just see if they'd be willing to help me out with this just to make sure that they're into it.

But I think I'm going to be back. I definitely am going to get this bottle and see if you have anything else I might be interested in. And he's going to wink. She is going to she's going to sort of brush your hair back behind her ear. And again, just very like just just just fake. You'll see her kind of blush just a bit because you're coming in. You're coming in like like a big shot and you are pulling that off like that air of like, oh, yeah, this. Yeah, that's right. If you're leaving soon, maybe we could maybe we could work something out. You you are going to be visiting the city again, right?

Oh, absolutely. This is going to be one of my new haunts. Trust me, you're going to see a lot of me. Well, are you visiting any other large cities in the future? Other large cities. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we travel around a lot. Like I said, I've got my my friends and we do a lot of stuff and saving the world is not small business. So we're going to be traveling a great deal. I expect to be back pretty soon. Do me a favor. Do me a favor. Roll a diplomacy check. Mm hmm. How about this? And she's got a she's going to kind of put put her hand on on Merrick's forearm.

What if I were to give you that bottle for half price and in exchange, you tell everyone where you got it. And then maybe bring some of your friends back here next time and drum up some more business. That is an amazing offer. And I would be very happy to to make sure everyone knows where the very best wine and liquor can be found, especially artifacts like this and yourself. Oh, she's OK. Do me a favor. Roll a charisma check again. Yeah, I called her an artifact. Twenty three. I'm super consistent here. You are. That's OK. Yeah. She is definitely going to blush at that.

Just the just she didn't take the you were an artifact out of that. It was more like, oh, you're you're a precious gem. You're you're you're rare. That type of that's that's that's how that's. And that was the point. And that's if you were to roll low, that would have went over like a wet fart. But if you pulled it out, it's good. Merrick farts wetly, by the way. Yeah, she is going to she's she's going to sort of give a giggle and and. If you like, I can I can gift wrap it for you. I don't I don't really know if there's someone special you would be giving it to.

Oh, no, this is definitely for me and anyone else I'd like to share it with. So I tell you what, if you wouldn't mind maybe just wrapping it up, if you have any sort of something to keep it safe. I'd like to keep this in my pack until we save the world. Might be something nice to to sip on and I'd like to keep it safe because I'd like to be able to bring some of it back and share with you. Ah, OK. I hate to make you roll again, but Jesus. It'll be a twenty three. Don't worry about it. I do me a favor. Roll one more charisma check. Motherfucker. Seriously, it's been twenty five, twenty four, twenty three, twenty eight.

What did you do? I don't know. That's a level of suave. It's like, don't worry, it'll be a twenty three. And then it is just like that's that's a level of suave. Yeah, to full on blush now, just oh, I like that type of thing. Like you're you're like this world where, OK, I don't want to throw the term around. You got a little daddy vibe coming off of you like this. She's a she's she's a little younger. And it's like, oh, this world weary man. Like, just you have a look about you that's kind of kind of kind of salt and peppery, kind of like younger professor vibe.

Totally. Me or Merrick? Oh, both of you. You're a very attractive man. You know that, though, like. Oh, I mean, he America's going to as this is happening and with this role, he's going to absolutely kiss her hand as as he's not he's not continuing this. He's basically it's basically his is goodbye. Like he's he's wrapping things up here, but he's definitely going to kiss her hand. And the point is, he's asking her to sort of wrap, go ahead and wrap it up. And he's going to tell her, I'm going to to to take care of a few of the things I need to pick up and make sure I can talk to the researchers.

And then what time do you close today? Will you still be here? I'm here all day, but we we close right around dusk. Sounds perfect. I would love to come back after you wrap this up and pick it up at the end of the day. Would that be all right? But of course. Yeah, I'll get it ready for you. And he's going to back up and he's going to say, by the way, I'm Merrick and he's going to bow. Give me one more charisma check. Just just one more. You got this in the bag, but I want to see the dismount. I want to see if you nail it. OK, 14. That was OK. It's not terrible.

Definitely not where I was. Not it's OK. When he backs up and he bows, he hits his head on the counter. Oh, he backs up. He backs up and knocks over like some table with some wine on it, with somebody in their lap or some show. If you get down to single digits, it's like, oh, that's that this is more like like your voice cracks partway through or something like that. It's like, oh, man, you had points there. It's not like you called her mommy or something like that by mistake. It's not something that bad. The pleasure to meet you, mommy. Yes, she's she's still very much wooed.

Great. Did did she have a name? Did she mentioned her name yet at all? It's Tia. She would have mentioned it probably when you first walked in and stuff. Yeah. OK, great. Tia. Merrick is going to turn. He's going to back up slowly, sort of sort of waving at her and winking and then walk out the door. OK. Is there a name for this place, by the way, or is it just the wine shop? So there is a place in there's a place in Uminier. There's a bar, right? It's called the Moonlit Willow. This is sort of a sort of an offshoot of that. There's like a like it's like, oh, if you like some of our stuff, maybe you'd like to get it's almost like a gift shop type of thing for a fancy restaurant.

Like, yeah. So this is just the shop that's just right off the side of the moonlit willow. Perfect. Love it. That's all I need to do for for now. There's actually one other thing that I wanted to pick up. OK. While I'm out. And that is so Merrick has for the longest time now that he's sort of been pampered and everything's been sort of shined up and all that. Part of his outfit that he's had this whole time is a white cloth tabard that he wears over his armor. Oh, that ain't white no more. Well, no, I definitely. But it's it was it was originally white and it had like the monitor seal on it and everything like that.

And he wants new clothes like he's not he's going to keep his armor. Everything's totally cool, but he just wants to like update everything a little bit so we can deal with the details of it later. But basically he's going to go and see if he can get some cloth sort of made into something like that that would fit him over his armor. And instead of it being a white thing, he wants to do something that's like a really brilliant blue. Oh, OK. With with some some red trim on it. It doesn't have to be particularly expensive, just just nicely made. OK. Yeah, totally.

That is that is easily doable here. Great. That's it. That's all that that's all Merrick's going to do for now. OK. How's about we catch up with Una and Bree? Sure. OK. After a time, quite a long time, actually, Bree is going to kind of emerge from this this this this long hallway. And she's going to be in a bit of a hurry. Just like let's let's just go. Come on. Yeah, we'll just like go out. She's not going to stick around. She's going to be a little silent, like just just kind of just. So found out a few things. You're pregnant. I knew it. Oh, she's going to just watch.

Oh, that's. It will like sober up a little bit and just like. So, well, she asked a lot of questions, obviously, because it's not exactly common. Sure. Yeah. The bottom line is I should be dead, like now dead, just not alive. But you're not. So that's a good thing. Well, she wasn't sure if. The lycanthropy was holding everything else back because it's supposed to come with some sort of regeneration property. I can ask Merrick about that. I think he would know more than more than I would. Or if it's whatever the witch did. Not exactly sure, but it's pretty much more than any one person should.

Be able to live through, you know, so she didn't actually heal anything. She just bummed you out. She was afraid to. It was. She said there was something that she might be able to do for the and she's going to sort of point to her arm where the. The spider veiny blackness is. But she was afraid if she did something with that, then. Everything else might fall apart. I don't think there's a real easy answer for this one is all. So you're basically held together with spit and glue at this point. Pretty much. All right. Fun. You want to go shopping? Very much so.

All right, let's go. Yeah. So it will just like grab her hand and just like just chug along onto the like clothing district if there is one of those. So time is going to pass. And eventually it's going to be lunchtime. It's research time, basically. Time to get the Scooby gang together. I'm straight. OK, so with everybody meeting back up, would you guys be kind of talking about the adventures you've had during the day or anything like that? Or is it just pretty much like, hey, I had a good time. Let's research. I know Merrick would, you know, if everybody's kind of going around saying what they saw and did, Merrick would, you know, just, yeah, I got some spices and stuff and and whatever.

I guess I guess he's wearing new clothes a bit like he's kind of different now. But, you know, he might just sort of point out, like, yeah, I got got some new duds, you know, no big deal. But then he's going to look at Una real quick and he's going to go, I need to I need a favor from you later, but we'll we'll we'll chat. We're just going to give him like finger guns and just say, looking good, Merrick. Thanks. Kaluna looks very frazzled. There was so much fire, so many twinkling lights, too much. Overwhelmed. Yeah. I mean, unless anybody else has anything to say or do, I feel like let's just go down and let's talk to Emerson and see what you know what.

Hold on. Would there have been candy anywhere along the way? Yeah, probably at some point. Kaluna absolutely bought some of that shit. OK. So did Thanatos. Well, I mean, Kaluna would have bought some for both of them. Yay! Is it like magic candy, like in Harry Potter? Oh, my God. Magic in what sense? Like the most thing Harry Potter, they had there was lots of magic jumped up and down or like they had these jelly beans that would make you growl like a tiger and like no, no, no, no. Kaluna would not have bought the magic candies anyway. Fuck that shit. The most the most it would do is like, oh, this this randomly changes flavor at different intervals and stuff like that.

But like always a pleasant flavor, not like the fucking. Are there any that like do weird shit, like turn your eyebrows blue or? No, nothing like that. Lame! Wait, are there any like magic prank things that Thanatos could have bought? Like stupid childish prank stuff? That they would have. Like... There was literally a music cue there. There was! I think that was a doorbell? Oh, there it is again. What is that? Oh, fuck you. Oh my God, let's play Harry Potter. Isn't this music playing everywhere in... ...headwix theme? I hate you. Now I'm sad. Anyway, so about the pranks that Thanatos totally fucking bought.

Do me a favor, roll a flat d10. OK, d10. It's this one. I guess three. That's a d12? That is a d12. Is it? Oh, I need to reroll. That's too bad. I didn't know that was a d12. All of my dice, weirdly enough, are just all black so it's really hard to tell. Eeee, six! That's better. So this would be the kind of thing that... Picture like dumb joke shop shit. But like on the next level it's like, "Ooh, this will change someone's hair color." It's like now it's bright blue for the next 24 hours or something like that. Jason, I know we don't normally do this. Is there any chance you could just send me a description of an item you think Thanatos would like and we just both know that she has it?

I could do that, yeah. Let's do that. I don't like this. I don't like this. I don't want the rest of the group to know. We could do this, yeah. Okay. Just take out whatever it costs for money. Okay, I'll take care of it. Send me a message. Yay! Guys, aren't you excited for a future surprise? She's gonna be great. No. Oh man, I'm gonna write this down on my notes so I don't forget. Yeah, I got just the thing actually. God damn it. Oh no. Okay. Thanatos is the kind of teenager that's gonna have those little popping things where they're just gonna keep snapping them on the ground like all over the place.

Pop, pop, like stop it. Pop, pop, pop. Don't throw it at the cat. You're scaring the dog. Stop it. Jason, correct me if I'm wrong. At one point, didn't I have those around you? And that's exactly what I was doing? Yes. Okay, when? What? How did that happen? I was in Maine at the time. We were recording the Patreon video and stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, you scared your cat. A lot. And Sophie. Yeah, that happened. Oh, I'm even more sad. No, don't be sad. I fear me. Okay, let's do this. I have a terrible joke gift to share with my friends later. You want me to type out something and send it to you?

I will. So, research. So, catching up with Emerson, he would, again, back down the stairs, this is a big, lonely kind of dark room in sections. There's lots of candlelight around the research table and stuff like that. And then, of course, there's little braziers far away from the books and stuff. But they try to keep open flames away from everything. So, in the stacks, the corridors of books and stuff like that, they'll have this faint blue light. It's more of a magical thing. So, Emerson would greet you all, specifically Merrick, when you guys catch up.

Ah, Mr. Merrick. Mmm, Emerson. How are we doing today? Fantastic. Had a little bit of a nice dinner last night. All of us are saloned and spawed and ready to hear what you've found for us. Well, I'm not exactly sure what you did last night, but I, for the first time, have been granted access to books that I never thought I'd be able to look through. I was going to give him a fat wink. Okay, he's going to take that and be like, "Ah, I see." "What the arch-mate did you? Gotcha." This happens every once in a while. He always gets extra happy when he gets some, so...

Shall we get started? He's going to gesture toward the table. Right, crowd around. Yep, crowd around. I imagine everyone will sit down. We have quite a bit to go through. Originally, when I was pouring through research, I didn't come over anything particularly interesting, nothing you would know, wouldn't know about already. In your research, the seal can only be opened during the blood moon, a mensa not of power, a scion, all of that. However, digging through some of these older books, I came across something a bit curious. Now, all of these prophecies are very vaguely worded, and sometimes that's purposeful.

However, in all of the older texts, there's one key element. They never mention scions. Not a one. It's always worded differently, being of immense power, never scion. And there's something that goes hand in hand with that. And he's going to sort of lean in, kind of look around to make sure no one's watching. The ritual only mentions demons. If the demons were to be released, demons, never the gods. You understand the significance of that? Of course, but for my friends here, maybe you could be more specific. I'm just going to kick him out of the table when he says that.

(laughter) I don't think that the seal was ever meant to be opened by a mortal. I think that this was only supposed to be in reference to some sort of divine entity. If a god were to open the portal, so to speak, in later texts, perhaps scions became a viable option. Something wild and power that could be channeled. So it was an option for a mortal to perhaps open this seal. And of course, in every bit of text I can find, that would kill the individual. Bree's going to noticeably just kind of look down. Yeah, Santos is just glaring at the table. Just clearly in thought, like listening, but just her natural glower.

There's a bit more to it than that. Every one of the prophecies that I've found linked to the seal, most very vague, they all word it like once the seal is opened, either one of the rituals are performed, but that's just it. There's nothing that can be done. And he's going to take out one of these older books. But that's not exactly true. There is a small window of time. Once one of these rituals is performed, it takes time to set, to finalize. The spell is very powerful, but also very temperamental. And in that time, the reverse incantation could be performed.

Uh, okay. Now from everything that I'm seeing, it would take a second jolt of energy, again, immense power. Let's say that this seal was opened by a scion, and they performed some ritual to either free the gods or demons, what have you. And that was something that another set of individuals was against. There is a small window of time where that could be reversed. Again, the blood moon would still have to be at its peak in the sky. We're talking minutes, perhaps. It's all very vague, but that is the one bit in this entire prophecy that leads me to believe that it isn't exactly as final as the rest of these texts would have you believe.

Has the seal ever been opened? Nothing I can find. Has anyone ever reported it being opened before? There have been individuals who have tried, though. So, what you're saying is, if we wanted the seal to remain closed, and someone else were to open it, we could potentially have the chance, just for a moment, to reverse it. That is what I'm saying, Mr. Marek. Again, though, we're speaking about an interval of minutes. This is all very fascinating, you understand. I stayed up all night researching this. Thank you, by the way, for all of your help. No, no, you don't understand.

This is absolutely my pleasure. Is there anything else you can tell me about all of this? Something that could really narrow the scope? Hmm. Marek's going to look around at everybody just to get permission, but he's going to... Honestly, I can't remember everything that Marek said to Emerson the first time. How deep they got. You got deeper than you get with most people. Not all the details, but you kind of unloaded some stuff. And then, of course, he's going to find things in his research. True. Emerson, the bottom line is, I think we're all agreed here. That seal can't be opened.

We can't allow demons to come through under any circumstances. It would be very bad for everyone, including Uminiro. It wouldn't be safe. So that's what we need, is to know exactly what you've just told us. What the chances are of keeping it closed, and the chances of, if it is opened, how to close it again. So this is invaluable, Emerson. Well, we agree upon that. Have you ever found any actual text that describes what might happen if that seal were to be opened? Have we? No. Don't think so. No. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like maybe there was just hints that it would happen, and talking to Darmok, and just sort of piecing it together.

But I don't think there's been anything that we've found that actually said it. And Marek will say that, effectively, to Emerson. Right. Well, I have. Go on. Yeah, he's going to place this book on the table and open it. There are illustrations. Yay! Kelowna can understand. Yay! Yeah. So if you picture the... So there is a drawing of the seal, and sort of glowing like... Basically, a depiction of it being opened, right? So the seal is not necessarily small, but it is, when opened, essentially a portal to Hell. And if you picture Hell like a hierarchy, like the strongest demons at the top, the weakest ones at the bottom, essentially what you will do is uncork Hell itself, and it will be utter chaos, a free-for-all of demons just trying to scratch and scrape and claw, stepping over each other to get to you, essentially.

And they will continue to pour out of that seal until either the seal is closed, or they're just all out. So... Yeah. This basically just confirms exactly why we don't want this open. Normally, Mr. Marek, I would consider this to be utter nonsense. But, based on what you've shown me, and what I'm finding in my research, I'm beginning to think there's some merit to this. If you have a chance to stop this, or you believe that someone would be operating against our... And he's going to sort of gesture to everybody... Best interest. I would suggest that you try as hard as possible to stop them.

Agreed. Ever since, like, when he put the book on the table, and we could all see the illustrations, Thanatos looks, like, sick to her stomach. She looks pale as a sheet. So, Emerson, are there anything in your readings that give more of an indication of how to keep it sealed? Rather than, for example, how to open it? Or, even in this great information about that small window of time, What could we do to ensure that it can't be opened by anyone? Well, that's the beauty, Mr. Maric. This is very powerful magic. To do something like this, it would be the strongest I've ever heard of.

And, the only thing that need to be done is nothing. As long as no one touches the seal, as long as no one's strong enough to open it gets near it, Everything will exist as it has for centuries. However, if someone were foolish enough to attempt to open it, or perhaps corrupted enough, Well, I don't have to tell you that it would completely change life here on Theria for everyone. Maric will do an audible gulp, just for effect. May I ask you an honest question, Mr. Maric? Yes, please. Do you know of anyone whom you think might be powerful enough to open the seal?

Or would have cause to seek out someone powerful enough? Maric's going to look at Una, or glance to Una, And then look back at Emerson and say, "In a way, there actually might be someone on the other side of that seal, Who very, very desperately would like to be on this side of it. And I think he, if he doesn't have the power himself, he has the means to find it." Well, that is quite troubling, isn't it? That's an understatement. I have a question, though. Would destroying the seal in any way, if it were possible, put this to an end for good? Or would destroying the seal open it effectively?

Is there any way to make this permanent? You're not the first to think of this. Essentially, the seal is invulnerable. It's impervious to all magic that has been tested against it, And all threats of physical violence to the seal has left broken weapons. The only thing that seems to have any effect would be the rituals that could be performed about every thirty years during a blood moon. Okay. Alright, it sounds like we know what we're dealing with, even if we don't know what we're dealing with. We need to make sure that no one gets to the seal, no one touches the seal, No one on either side of the seal has a means to open it, and if they do, we need to be prepared to close it again.

That's the long and the short of it, right? Pretty much, yes. Luna would like to kind of sit up, so she's been leaning back this whole time, just kind of taking everything in. So she'll sit up straight and just say, "Would you mind if I looked at these books? Specifically the old ones?" You're more than welcome to, as long as you don't take them out of the library, of course. Yeah, she'll nod. She looks like an unhappy camper. I can imagine. I think Merrick would stand up and put his hand out to Emerson and very graciously express his thankfulness for all of his help.

And yeah, he would shake back, and just again, it's his pleasure, all that stuff. Mm-hmm. Oh boy. Luna, do me a favor, give me an intelligence check. Okay. Abilities... Got it. Where is it? There it is. Intelligence. My lowest stat. Nine. Hmm. So a lot of this is just going to be Greek to Luna, but again, lots of illustrations. There's... so there are a lot of hand-sketched atrocities in this book. Like, the whole... She's really only looking for specific mentions about the gods, so could I roll a religion check for that? Um... Because you said there wasn't any in there, but she's not honestly buying it.

Oh, okay, yeah, go ahead. Okay. She's like, she's like, "Yeah, no, I want to see it for myself," kind of thing. 28. Oh, okay. So there's going to be... there are mentions of the gods only so far as Vecna, for the most part. Um... there's kind of this, um... Alvarin judged these beings as being just... there's no redeemable features or qualities, and they needed to be dealt with, so they were sealed away, and Vecna had a hand in that, and Vecna is pretty much the guardian, the gatekeeper of the seal, and all that junk, right? Other than that, there's no mention of a ritual or anything that has anything to do with, you know, setting gods free, anything.

They have nothing to do with anything beyond that point. There is no mention of them in the book after that. That is very much like, "In the beginning and then done." They just kind of fucked off. Gotcha. So yeah, she'll just, uh, she'll close the book gently, punch the table, and walk out. Oh, God. I think... I think that'd be one of those things where Bree's kind of zoned out, just kind of really bummed. Zoned out, and then just after the punch, like, jumped, like, kind of startled, and then would see how upset Oon is and follow her out. Okay. What about everyone else?

Uh, Phantos might wait until everyone else is kind of either busy or cleared out, and then she'll, um, she'll ask the gentleman, like, what happened to the other people who tried? Well, some got further than others. There were reports of frozen corpses near the seal, a few different races. It's presumed that either they were investigating the seal for themselves or perhaps trying to open it. There was one more report. There was a group, there was a scion with them, and he tried to open the seal. The reports don't go into exactly why, but it didn't go well.

The ritual wasn't performed precisely. And while this individual may have had the power to open it without the incantation being correct, he's, he's going to stop for a moment. I assure you once you hear this. She'll just, like, she's kind of staring at the floor, like, still looking a little pale, but when he asks, she's just going to meet his eyes and then nod. His eyes were liquefied. Her report says blood boiled and the flesh was stripped from his bones. Oh. She's kind of not even gonna flinch at that, though. She's seen worse, but gross. She's very visibly uncomfortable, like she's kind of fiddling with her hands and staring at the ground again, and she'll ask the ritual to close it.

Does that need to be a scion too? He's going to nod. Teach me how to close it. He's, uh, he's going to look at their toes. You think you need that knowledge, I mean, you're awfully young to be venturing to Kian in the first place, let alone this, this seal. She'll look up and just do this solemn nod again, and then if silence lingers, she'll go. I'm a scion, I can do it. He is going to, um, he's going to crack this book open again and towards the back of this. This is interesting because this isn't mentioned when you guys visited the library. This is one of those things where the two rituals to either open the seal and release the demons, or open the seal and release the gods, that was mentioned in detail.

A reversal was never mentioned. And there could be a few different reasons for this. This is an older text, so this is him kind of reworking, it's like, well, okay, it's kind of like math. It's like, okay, well if this equals this, then this should work. So he's handing you something that should work for the gods. This one is just literal from the text for the demons. And he would show you this, but there's only a few reasons why something like this would be missing from more modern text. Right. Probably just made up. That's the thing, this is so, like, none of this is tried and true, none of this is tested.

This is all second, third. All of this is made up. All of this could be completely fictional. You don't know. Um, Santos will study it and like, try to memorize it. Just because there might be a situation where she won't be able to look at whatever note she's going to take or whatever. So this incantation is in a horrendously dead language. Any chance it's deep speech? I know that one for some reason. It is deep speech, actually. What? This is a long dead language. This has not existed for a very long time. The only explanation I could think of is that Apollos taught her deep speech for some reason.

I think I just chose it from the list. I think it's that ultra, I mean, it's kind of an ultra frivolous thing. It's like, I'm going to take Latin next year. Like, it's like, fucking why? Why would you need that? It's kind of like that. Like, societies that are really obsessed with intellectual study and things like that. They was like, this knowledge shouldn't die completely. Yeah, no one speaks it. Yeah, we're never going to use it. But maybe, maybe, you know, it's just preserving it. It's keeping it alive. It'll never die completely as long as some people know it.

Right. So he must have taught her. That's the only explanation I got. But yeah, she knows deep speech, so. Lucky, that's the second time my character's just weirdly known a language we needed. Well, it's the same thing as like, um, Elrath knowing giant. Yeah. Sometimes that happens. But yeah, this is, uh, this is one of those things that has to be performed precisely. And you see the penalty for not. Like, you were told what that is. So, like, pressure. Kaluna would like to slide some candy to Emerson. As a thank you for his hard work. Let the scotch. Yeah. They just appeared in his pocket.

I got that reference. How would, uh, how would Una be taking all this? Uh, just just waiting outside. Glowering. Again, Bree would have left pretty soon after Una and probably would have approached her. After a bit. Maybe kind of give her a little space, but like approached her afterward. You okay? I think she's gonna go to like open her mouth and then just like clamp her jaw shut and just like glare off in the distance. Like, not try to be rude. Like, she clearly tried to respond, but she's like, she's just not. Does not have her composure right now, so she's just not gonna speak.

I know that's a lot to take in, and I know we still don't know exactly what we're gonna do when we get there. If anything needs to be done. Just... But if you want to talk, I'm here, okay? Can I like do like a dungeoneering check or like just see if there's something like around that I could like smash without getting in trouble too much? I would say intelligence. What? The reason being, it's okay, when you're angry like that, one, you're not necessarily thinking about it intellectually. It's like that looks like the list expansion thing, like that type of thing.

I don't know if Una would place that much value on the things down here. Do you know what I mean? Like, Una destroyed her own temple. Yeah, that's true, but that was a different situation. Slightly different, yes. I think you're just picking this because it's my lowest, lowest level ever. I am not. I am not. Very fun. Okay, 15. Okay. I think Una would, even as furious as she is, I think she would have the wherewithal to realize that a lot of stuff down here is probably priceless books or... Something that couldn't necessarily be replaced, however there would be a bookshelf or two that might not be as packed as the other ones.

So just smashing the bookshelf or something might not, I mean that could be replaced, it's just wood. Alright, she'll take in like the surroundings and then just start kicking the wall. Okay. Extra angry because there's nothing that she can just easily smash. Right. And I think Bree would probably go to reach, like just put a hand on her shoulder, but then just pull back for a second, just like, "I'm gonna let her get this out." Unless she starts hurting herself or busting the place up, then just, yeah. Everyone else, taking your leave? Taking leave. Before she goes, Phantos is going to ask if she can take the incantation with her.

He would write this down. Okay. Good, because if he had said yes she would have ripped it out of the book and broke his fucking heart. Oh my god. I think that would be the bare minimum he could do, basically, is jot this down. This is not a super short incantation, this would take a couple of minutes to read. And it's not easily memorizable. Does it describe what she'd have to do in that situation or is it the words themselves that have the power? Well, in any one of these situations the act is the same. One, it takes the blood of a psion. Two, it would take pretty much unrelenting force.

This would just be letting Luz to charge this seal. So she would have to be charged. Yeah, the words would be spoken pretty much at the same time as the blood and then the charge. You don't know if you've done the ritual correctly until the charge and either the seal opens or closes or whatever you're trying to do or you die horrifically. So does she charge for reasons in case we're in combat if this shit happens or something? Does she have to be charged before she does it or does she charge after? Well, okay. Not the act of actually charging. It would be basically you standing on top of the seal and it would be pretty much rolling to see how well you do initially and then it's just endurance checks.

So if she were fighting beforehand that wouldn't factor in so much? Not really, no. Okay, good. That's all I was checking for. Like if we're in the middle of a battle and she just used up some of her power. I didn't want that to interfere with the... No, this isn't a combat thing. Okay. Do you remember when Dagon tried to open the gate? Vaguely, yes. It's something similar to that. It would be almost like a skill check challenge type thing. Gotcha. All right. Cool, cool. All right. All right, cool. Are you guys leaving the city? Oh, hell no. I've got some business.

Yeah, Mary's got things to do. Okay. So where are you watching? She has a name, Mac. Come on, that was good. So it's like, still like early afternoon. I'd say in the midst of you guys going shopping and then it'd be lunchtime, I'd say you probably spent a couple hours downstairs. So yeah, early afternoon-ish. So on the 15th. We should probably take off. We should probably go ahead and get back on the road and get back to Brightport. What about your new girlfriend? What about the... Well, no, just in general, we need to do this and that's the next big thing to do.

We've got to get back to Brightport. We've got to start getting ready and prepared and hook back up with our guide and make sure we're ready to go. Because it's not too much longer before we need to make sure that we're super prepared and there and make sure that that seal can't open. Because those images are burned into my brain. That said, I do have something that I needed to pick up before we take off. Is there anything else anybody wants to do before we go? Anybody else need anything? Any other supplies? Oh, Grantess is in full sulk mode, so... Once people come upstairs-ish, Oon will stop kicking the wall and try and compose herself.

And if Merrick appears, she'll just kind of like... She's kind of snappy, but she's just trying to not be. So say, Merrick, what do you want to talk about? Oh, right. Everybody, I need to borrow Oona for just a minute, okay? And I'll be right back. And I guess everybody's going to say, okay. And then I say, okay, come with me. And he's going to basically get Oona to follow him to the moonlit willow shop. And he's going to kind of secretly get close to wherever they can sort of look in. In other words, he's trying not to be seen by Tia. But he's going to...

Like maybe whenever Tia goes off to go do something else, he's going to point at the bottle and see, like, you see that? That's incredibly special, Oona. That's a very expensive and very wonderful bottle that we're all going to share whenever everything's taken care of and we've saved the world. You with me? Well, like, she's been in a bad mood and just kind of like trudging after Merrick as he drags her off to this place. But she'll kind of like perk up just because this is an interesting distraction. So she'll just kind of like nod, okay, yeah, I get the point.

Okay, cool. This is old, old. And I don't mean like kind of old. I mean like magic old. Like, there's stuff keeping this okay. This is going to be the best stuff you've ever had that we've ever had. And we're going to do it. We're going to sit at the seal. Things are going to be gone. The blood moons out of the picture. And we're going to crack this, this baby open, and we're going to get wasted. Here's the thing. It's really expensive. I don't think we all have the money for it, since we have to kind of you know go save the world and that's kind of expensive.

I need you to sleep with dust walker. Good. My favorite. I was worried that we were going to get past that at some point I'm glad we brought it back. Do you remember, do you remember when everybody in the chat at theoryathon thought that Merrick was going to try and get free to kill herself. This is the reverse of that, this is, this is like, oh, I thought you're all you betrayed us all at the last second. All right. Okay, have fun. Bye. Wait, wait, wait, he's going to notice all of this hesitation and maybe like interior laughter or whatever, and he's going to get in the way like between Una and the view of the bottle, and he's just going to grab by the shoulders because you've got to do this you have to do this.

So various emotions are going to flick across his face like the first one is like shock because like she was not expecting this. Second one is just like anger, because she's already in a bad mood and now this. And the final one will be kind of like amusement. But the amusement will take a while to get there. I should be really clear, Merrick is not like desperately like truly saying, like you have to do this or everything's fucked he's, he's, it's very clear he is just super enamored with this thing, and he's just like, I don't know how else to do this, you're gonna have to sleep with them.

That's the only thing you can think of. It's the only thing we can do. There's only one way to do this and that's for you to go sleep with them. I don't care what you do and how you do it. You don't even have to take long to do it but we've got to get that bottle. Okay, it is how much money does Una have? $14.58. $14.58. Okay. That's almost enough for half off that bottle right? Yeah. How much does Merrick have? $16.64. Yeah. Oh, we can afford that. No, but we have to. Yeah, no, I know we can afford it, but then we don't have any money to like you know take care of getting to the seal like there's nobody to sleep with in Brightport is going to be able to give you a ship and a guide.

That is not necessarily true. Well, not a good one. That is not necessarily true. Uh, we've already got it set up with Tessia like this is all ready to go. This is extra. This is icing on the cake, but you know if we save the world you know that you want that you know you want that. Alright, she's gonna take a deep breath. Let me go in. I'm going to hear about this bottle of wine myself. I'll figure it out. Okay. You are going to have to plead the case to Bre. Just want the bottle. I was hoping to leave her out of this. I've already put her through too much. Yeah, she's gonna know when I come back stinking like elf.

Shit. Like that elf specifically. It was like a fucking wave. Maybe you could just sweet talk him. Maybe just one last visit and maybe just see if he'll, I mean he gave us the salon stuff right? Maybe you could just go check out the bottle. Just go check out the bottle. Alright. We'll go into the willow wobbly or whatever. I forgot the name. I'm sorry. Sure. The willow wobbly. Sure. Let's go with that. I was gonna say the whopping willow. I was like, nope, that's not the right thing. The whopping. What is it? The gray willow? The willow branch? The moon willow. The moon willow?

Okay, fair enough. Alright, yeah, Una will walk inside this establishment. So it's just Una? Yes. So Merrick's like, no, he's totally like looking through cracks near the door to like watch all this happen. Doesn't Merrick have to be there to get half off on the drink? Look, this is just for her, for Una to be able to like get the story on it. Not necessarily to buy it. I mean that's fine if she does, but. Wouldn't it be funny if Una also floats with, flirts with Tia, does a better job and gets it at like a third of the price? That was maybe my plan. Damn it.

Okay, go for it. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see. Okay, so to clarify, since they're walking around the city, there's no need for armor. So Una's definitely wearing a nice ass dress that she bought while shopping. Okay. She's looking good. And she'll turn on the charm walking into this establishment because that's basically just like a habit. It's like going to buy something, be charming as shit. So she'll walk into this establishment and walk up to where the bottle is. I don't know where it is. Is it on a counter or display? Oh, it'd be behind the counter like in the display case, yeah.

She'll walk up to the counter where the bottle is. And Tia would greet Una. Hi ma'am, can I help you with anything? Ma'am, that's not usually a good place to start. So she'll eye the bottle and she'll say, yes, my friend Merrick was here a while ago, and he was telling me about a specifically special bottle that you have. I was wondering if you could tell me about it. Like really charming and like really classy and just like elegant. Really trying to come off as like, oh yeah, I know my shit. Like, how are you young lady? Do me a favor, roll a charisma check for me.

Can't there be diplomacy? Yeah, I think you start with charisma. Oh, it's bullshit. Every time I've used flirting in the past, it's been diplomacy. Are you outright flirting or just trying to be charming? Um, if it's outright flirting, do I use my diplomacy? If you are outright flirting with this woman while trying to get something in return. Oh yeah, she's definitely flirting, but it's subtle. It's not like, it's not like, oh, hello young lady, would you like to taste my wine? I'm not sure what that fucking means. Oh God. It's not like that. 29. That really, that has some implications.

Yeah, let's go back. What time of the month you are offering this taste. What the hell is he? I was just trying to think of sexual. We run a family show here firstly. Do a bluff check? Anywho. Just ignore that. Moving on. 29. Yeah, he was, he was in earlier. He was asking about this bottle that originally came from Kodai. It's been in storage for decades here at the very least. It's a very, very old bottle. Centuries. And she would gesture to it by buying the case. Obviously we keep it sealed, just because it's so rare. There's only, there's only one bottle of it.

This is sounding like this is a pretty fucking special wine. All right. I'll just say, Haniya, I bet that comes with a pretty hefty price tag, yeah? Well. She will, she will give her a look like implying other things come with a hefty price tag. Oh, Bree's gonna kill you. I'm fucking dead as it is. Well, the rarity of course, drives up the price. Is your friend still interested in it? Damn, she is smitten. Maybe she doesn't swing this way, but like, usually my flaky diplomacy checks do pretty well. So can I like, do I have to do an insight check to see if there's like more?

Hit me with an insight check. Hit me. Right. I want to see if like I can tell that she's in to Merrick. 21? You're definitely picking up like that wasn't just like, Oh, is he interested in buying the bottle? Is he coming back? Like it's kind of a little bit of that. All right. Um, that's pretty fucking great. Okay. Um, yeah. So Una's gonna like grin because this is fucking hilarious and she wants to get back at Merrick. Oh God. And she'll say, Oh, you wouldn't, you wouldn't believe how interested he is. Um, in fact, he's actually right outside. He's just, um, he's a really sweet guy.

And, uh, you know, I think, I think there was something in here more than just the wine and she'll give her like the tiniest classiest of winks. Um, and, uh, he's a little shy. Do me a favor, roll a diplomacy check. I want to see how, I want to see how effective. Come on. Critmas. Okay. Well, okay. Still an 18. Do we look at the results? Yeah. Still an 18. Which is good. I thought like, and she's gonna, she's gonna kind of lower voice cause she's like, Oh, he's outside. I thought I was picking up on something earlier. I didn't want to read too far into it. You know?

Yeah. No, Una will like lean down, like, you know, kind of like girl talk now. Um, and, uh, just go, Oh my gosh. No, he's, yeah, we've all been on this quest for months and it's been difficult and bloody and painful and I'm like the things he's endured. She's just trying to like, It's not untrue. No, it's all true. There's no bluff there, but she's really trying to paint the picture of America's like this haggard, emotionally beaten warrior. Oh. And, uh, he just, he hasn't had much time to kind of cherish the soft things. The, you know, the luxuries in life.

Even if I, I don't want to get too personal, but even a win's embrace, he hasn't had that luxury in a long time. Oh God. That chuckle is not in character, but I wish it was. Can I, I, that may be the most, the purest expression of joy I've ever heard you, you utter on this, on this program more outside of it. You were asking for this. I, I kind of thought I saw some pain behind those eyes. I, I, is there, is there anything I can, I can do for him? I mean, just between you and me, I, I thought he was really cute. I got the sense he was leaving though. I didn't think he was going to be going to be around.

Oh, oh, this is too perfect. Um, it was just going to like, let an expression of like actual sadness kind of, you know, just flit over her face, um, for a couple of seconds. I should say it's true. We're, um, we're back on the trail soon, uh, more fighting, more travel, more cold, but I don't know if there's anything you could do, but I would be personally so grateful and touched if someone out there and she'll give her like kind of a look that's like you obviously can make that pain diminish for just for even a moment. Do me a favor, roll a diplomacy check. 34!

How soon are you leaving? You know, if this translates to sex or a super discount on the wine, either way, I'm fine with it. I just want to put that on the record. We're leaving like within the next day, right? Less than that it sounded like. Oh yeah, I think we're... You're basically on your way out the door almost. Yeah, it's like this is the last errand to take care of. Yeah, okay. Um, so she'll say... Errand. God, you're just cold. Another checklist? Another checklist? I had to buy socks and I guess we're going to fuck Tia. I don't know. So yeah, she'll just um, she'll kind of like swallow, you know, like one of those little swallows people do when like they're kind of like sad to be going.

And she'll say, well, to be honest, we're probably leaving late tonight. She is going to... there's going to be a pause. And then she is going to... she's going to take out this ink and quill and she's going to write out a note. And she's going to slide it over to Una and it's kind of the sealed thing. Could you do me a favor and give that to your friend? And then she's going to turn around and she's going to unlock this case. Una! And she is going to very gingerly place the bottle on the counter. Give this to him too. Can you do that for me? Una will actually tear up just a little bit because like she was kind of fucking around, but this is like a super sweet gesture.

And now she feels a little bad. But... How many times has that happened where Una's like fucked around with somebody and flirted and then actually fucked them up? It's like, oh wait. I think every time. [Laughter] Oh my god. So yeah, she'll take the note and the bottle and she'll reach over and she'll just give her, this girl, a very sweet, friendly kiss on the cheek. Like a very just like, actually grateful and actually, you know, try and display some like, some actual gratitude. Yeah, she is going to... It's kind of like a really hopeful look in her eye.

Just very, just kind of excited, kind of nervous. Well, I wish you luck in whatever it is that you're doing. But I really appreciate you delivering that for me. Thank you. And just as she's finishing the sentence, there's going to be this big smile that's kind of creeping up on her face. Una will give her a returning smile, a little classy wink, and then she will leave the store and go find Merrick. I can just walk out. There's nothing she's not going to call. Yeah. No. There's a security tag to undo. Alright, Una will walk back to Merrick holding the bottle of wine and the note.

You bought it? And as she's getting closer, her grin will be getting wider. And she'll press the bottle of wine and the note into Merrick's hands, just kind of like push them against his chest so he has to grab them. And she'll say, "I didn't have to fuck for it. You might. You're welcome, buddy." I feel like Merrick would actually just end up doing one of those speechless moments of like, "I don't... I..." And then I kind of imagine Una would just walk away. I don't know if that's true. But just like, "Here you go. Enjoy. Bye." Yeah, she'll turn to walk away, but then she'll turn around and be like, "Wait, okay, wait.

Okay, no. What does the note say? I want to know." That's more important than the exit. First of all, he's going to put the bottle immediately into whatever. I don't know if he has pack on or whatever, but just make sure it's sort of safe. And then he'll back up to a wall or something like that and open up the note. Okay. It's fairly short, but it essentially reads, "You seem like someone very special, and I hope wherever you're going, you remain safe and return to me as soon as you can. Hopefully we get to know each other. I hope this bottle keeps you warm on the road and reminds you of me." So this worked out because Merrick has the bottle for everybody to share.

He's going to feel like a very special person whenever the world has been saved, and he pops open a bottle of some amazing herbal liqueur and shares it with everybody. And he's got a girlfriend. Not really. Maybe? He might. Did he let him read this note over his shoulder? Yeah, I think he would read it and sort of turn it so they could both read it. Alright, yeah. She'll look a little bit disappointed, but then she'll just grin and say, "Well, I guess neither of us is technically a whore." What did you think the note said? "I'mma fuck you, here's some wine." I kind of hoped it would be like, "Here's some wine, I want to see you whatever the fuck, into some alley where there's some hay or something, I don't fucking know." Wow, that is true.

He probably classed you into that. Meet me in a dingy place. Yeah, can we just fuck in the bathroom of an Arby's? Because that'd be great. I'm gonna have a jamoca shake. Curly fries with cheese. Ew, I don't want to, no. What? No, I'm just talking about Arby's. We have the meats! There it is. Guys. Yeah. I feel like that might be a good time for us to stop for the evening. You guys are getting ready to leave the city, you're, you're, you're, yeah. I feel like, I feel like that's a pretty good time. End it on something sweet. Yeah, we're stocked up. What a wild fucking ride.

Maric's got something to do whenever the world's saved. Hey! Yeah, you guys got to- You know what I mean. Yeah, the name is Tia. Stop. It's the second time we made that joke. I know, but- It doesn't get old. No? Like a time Y. Awesome, Umineiro was great. That was fun, actually. It was neat, neat for people to actually explore it. It'd be nice for you guys to come back someday. It's time we get the model. You know we are. Yeah. Yeah, we got wine now. Thanks for getting that. And I also got a fun toy, which by the way, I know what it does now, and it's gonna be fun.

I'm excited. I forgot. Yeah. I didn't, I put it in my notes. It's the first time I've ever used my notes, guys. Oh yeah, I forget that you can do that. So Jason, the thing I got, is it just a one-use thing or can I sparse it out? It's a one-use thing. Damn it. Yeah. All right, that's fair enough, fair enough. I knew that was gonna be asked too, that's a one, yeah. On the 19th of Thorim, in the city of Esterhold, Chetsia Grimnus Grace is now standing in a room with Darmok. Something that moments before would have been an impossible nightmare is now a bone-chilling reality.

Jodzia is going to take a step back and kind of put her hand on the table in front of her, like steadying herself, but also almost draw herself up higher at the same time, like she's trying to appear braver than she is. I was told you were coming. And she's not going to break eye contact. He's gonna step closer, just sort of closing the gap between them, but in a very slow and steady way, methodical almost, like he's savoring the moment. I have missed you so much. Jodzia is not going to move from her spots. Why didn't you stay dead? Oh my dear. I was trapped for some time.

It actually took me a while to figure out what you were trying to tell me, but finally I understood. You needed me to come back to you. You handed me off to that egotistical demon so that I can draw power from him and make my way back to you, to save you from that beast with his hands all over you, touching and groping. But it's all right, Jodzia. And he's going to step forward just a little bit closer. He's going to reach his hand up, like he's going to touch your face, and his hand is just kind of trembling, shaking. And he's going to pull back and clench a fist at the last moment.

I've almost made my way back to you. Jodzia is going to, almost as a point, not move from her spot while he's getting closer, while he's reaching his hand out, she is going to stay stone. And it doesn't look like from fear, because that's what it used to look like, but this time she's almost looking down at him as much as she can. He is taller than her, but you know that way that people can look at you where you feel like you're beneath them no matter what? That's the look she's going for. Don't you touch him. Oh my dear. You don't have to pretend around me.

I know the last several weeks have been interminable, but we're almost reunited. Only a few small obstacles stand in my way, and a small amount of time. And he's going to reach his hand up again, and he's going to try to touch Jodzia's cheek, and his hand is just going to sort of phase through. It's going to feel just a little cool to the touch almost, but there's nothing corporeal there. There's nothing that can actually touch Jodzia. And he's going to draw his hand back and clench it again. I can't wait till I can hold you again. Again, Jodzia's not going to move a fucking inch, but when his hand passes through her, once he clenches it back, she's going to kind of smile almost.

You're not going to win. You don't get it, do you? My friends are going to stop you. You're pathetic. And she's going to maintain eye contact the entire time, and one of her hands is still balancing on the table, but the other one is clenched tight. And it's going to start going red, like hot to the touch like iron, and it's going to burst into flame. And she knows she can't touch him, but it's almost like it's something she can't control because she's just so angry. Why do you fight this? Why are you pretending like you don't want me to come rescue you?

Do you know how hard I have worked over the past weeks? I am striving to make a better life for both of us. Why do you fight that? Do you not see that you set all of this in motion? You allowed me to get the power I need to make your life better by allowing me to come back into it. Jodzia's going to take a very careful breath. My life was better the second you fell. And then she's going to lash out, like backhand him, even though there's nothing to backhand. I imagine her hand is going to pass straight through his face. The one that's on fire, obviously.

And I'm not pretending. Dharmak is almost going to flinch. Like for a moment, he forgot you can't touch him. And there's going to be a momentary look of hurt in his eyes. Like, why would you try to hurt me? I'm doing everything right. What's wrong with you? And as Jadzia speaks, that look is going to twist into a look of anger and realization. I can almost smell you. I can smell that ogre stink up and down your body. I am coming back. And I will have you again. And there is not a single person or grouping of people that can stop that. You should make peace with that now.

And stop fighting before you hurt yourself. Just for the dramatic irony of it. Jadzia's hand, because she did use Burning Hands, is now very burnt. Because that's actually how that spell works. If she doesn't hit an attack, it does 10 damage to her. Which, considering she's probably at full health and all, that barely matters. But the story reason of that is that hand is singed and in pain. And she's gonna kind of clench it and unclench it. Probably used to that feeling by now, because I'm sure she's missed more than one of these. And she's just kind of... not going to say anything, but clearly she understands that something bad is going to happen.

But after a beat, she's going to shake her head. They're going to stop you. I believe in my friends. We killed you once, and we will do it again. Darmok is going to lean in. And he's going to momentarily focus. His eyes are usually stuttery and jittery. But he's going to look deep in Ajadzia's eyes as she's just ultimate resolve. There's something... different about you. Have you been listening to what they say about me? Have we just been apart for too long? And then almost as if he's seen something for the first time, or his thought has just sprung to him.

His eyes are going to narrow at Ajadzia. And he's going to look her up and down. And then he's going to lean just an inch or so away from her face. You let him defile you. How could you do that? After everything I've been through to get back to you, you... You'd betray me like this? Ajadzia is going to keep a steady eye on him. Though she does realize something is different. Like, something she's never seen before. Which does seem to worry her enough that her eyes kind of widen. She's like, "Oh shit, he's different." And then she's going to, still holding eye contact, "I love him.

I hate you." There is going to be a look on Dharmak's face that Ajadzia has seen before, but there's something a little more focused and guided about it. And that is white hot rage. And again, still keeping that pacing and distance from her. Oh my dear. Since when does that matter? After the blood moon, I will be back. And I will make my way here. And all of his size, and all of the weapons in the world, won't keep me from taking him apart. Piece by piece. And I am going to make you watch as I do so. So you have a few more weeks of loving him. I would make them count.

And he is going to take a few steps back. And from his back, they're going to almost seemingly sprout out of nowhere, are these large bat-like wings. And they're going to wrap around him and cradle as he steps back into the shadow from where he came, and then the light in the room is going to brighten again, just a little bit. Just flickering shadows on the walls again. Is there anything else Jadzia would do? I think she would take a moment to compose herself, and once he's gone she does look properly fucking terrified. But then she's just going to kind of lower herself into the seat, shaking, and cradle her head in her hands.

Hi everyone, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, go check out our website at dandrpodcast.com. It's all pretty and fancy and stuff. Also, go over to our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr Go check us a few bucks. It helps keep food on the table for Bree and Jason, and it keeps the show running. Also be sure to go on iTunes and give us a five-star review, and get fucking pumped for episode 200, y'all. It's coming. It's coming. We're all gonna die. I hope you're ready.