Rotten Luck

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Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table starting with Maxworth. Hey, I'm Maxworth and I play Kaluna Vulgaris on... Fuck. I already fucked up. I'm leaving. On the fuck, ladies and gentlemen. And Eric. Hi, I'm Eric. I play Ordan, King Shield, Dwarven Knight. Also on the fuck, Jasper. This is Jasper, I play Maric, Apple Red, Human, Cleric. And last but certainly not least, Bree. Hi, I'm Brianna and I play Phantos, the Sion Ghisrai on the fuck. You're on HG1 on the fuck. Like it sounds like a radio station.

I knew that there was supposed to be a "the" there, but I already said "on". My brain's not functioning today. This is gonna be good, guys. Last time on the show, you guys had a chat with a lovely tiefling gentleman. Well, Maric did, specifically. And you found out some stuff. The session before that you guys found out when the next Blood Moon was coming, which is less than two months away, actually. You have less time than you thought you did. You also found out that, depending on who gets to this seal first and who does what, bad things could be happening.

So, time is sort of of the essence. Now, you also found out by going through this place that the dwarves were somehow involved with these people. They are the ones who sealed this place off. You found out that there was some kind of wrongdoing going on in here, which kind of takes a backseat to all the crazy amount of information that you found out about the seal and the Blood Moon, and the two rituals, one to bring the demons back, one to bring the gods back, depending on what someone would want to do, and all that. Sadly, Cori had left as well while you guys were in here, because she interpreted a letter from Bree to be that she's in trouble, and her life might be in danger, so she took off to go ensure that she's okay.

I guess the first thing would be to figure out where we left off was, essentially, you guys were getting some rest, and you were going to get ready and head out after that. And Thanatos wanted to go through Merrick's possessions. I'm assuming that she was looking for the scroll. Very much so, yes. Okay, so, you know what we should do? We should do a little skill check challenge, is what we should do. Oh yes, oh yes. Okay. Haven't done one of these in a while. Uh... [Laughter] It's frustrating. Okay, here's the way it's going to work. Three successes before three failures.

You are going to be attempting to sneak over to Merrick's possessions, and you are going to rifle through them, and try not to wake him up, I guess is the big thing. Now, let's set a little scene. You guys, if I remember correctly, you retired for the evening inside the library, just because it didn't seem like there's anything that's going to hurt you in here, and it's a little safer than camping outside, right? I believe so, yes. Okay, so, everyone settle down, everyone's getting some sleep, except for Thanatos. He's being a little shit. [Laughter] Do me a favor, Thanatos, roll your first stealth check, please.

Alright, I got a plus eight, so this could work in my favor. So, I would imagine bedrolls are on the floor, or on the ground here, and... Does anyone snore? I'm curious. I feel like if anyone would snore it would be Orden, and I feel like that's racist that I think that. [Laughter] But I still do. Well, I mean, you would think that their noses would work weird, maybe? Like pugs. Yeah. Aw, they've been bred in such a- it's so poor. [Laughter] One of those dwarven puppy mills where they just kick. I was going to say I'm going to go along with this, but it keeps getting worse.

I'm sorry. You know what? You know what, if we're talking weird noses, then Kaluna would probably snore. It's true, you got a little snout. Yeah, it's a little weird nose. I think it would be kind of wheezy though, like the air. Yeah, the wheezy kind of snore would be like... [Sigh] Yes. They also drool. Oh no. A lot. Sap. And arms are just all out in like four different directions. No, Kaluna's a peddler, not a sprawler. So, if we're all done being racist towards dwarves... [Laughter] And trees. [Laughter] Well, we didn't profile the tree first. It's like, well that dwarf though, right?

I'm sorry, Eric. I know, I get it. [Laughter] You sound genuinely hurt now, I'm sad. I'm the punching bag of the group, it's fine. I can take it. What are you in for? Well, Thanos is going to slowly get up from her bedroll and start to make her way across to where Merrick would be sleeping. And part way there, she's going to accidentally kick someone's bag and it's going to make this jangly noise where... I would imagine people have all kinds of stuff in their bag, but you know, some metallic objects, something... I mean, some people even carry pots and pans.

I don't know if that's something that you guys do? I've never really asked. It's like, well do you guys cook on a fire at night or something like that? Do you make stuff? I imagine. There's no way Merrick does not have an entire cooking set in his bag. But you said sleeping bags, so unless he really likes them... Well, I mean, they're not... I'm sorry, someone's personal effects. Like knapsack. Yeah, their actual backpack. I thought you meant sleeping bag. I was like, I don't think people store those in their sleeping bags. No, not usually. And it's going to make this jangly noise.

And that's going to be the first failure. I really wish you'd just say at the beginning whether it was a pass or fail thing. Well, there's no suspense for this. I understand for purposes for listeners and shit, but for me personally, I would appreciate it. Okay, I'm just going to roll again. Let's go. It's not going to go well. After she... it's that thing of like, you're trying to sneak through the house to sneak out of your parents' house or something like that. And you bump something and it's like, shit. And you pause. You just go dead still, just waiting to see if anybody...

And then nothing. Okay. And then you take another step and it's going to be probably someone's weapon, something like that. Just like, sprawled. And just looking back at the first thing you bumped into, just to... it's like, okay. God, that was fucking dumb. And then, boom. Like, bumping into something else. Like, fuck. And again, against all odds, like maybe someone snoring, like depending on who snores in the group. We already know Kaluna does. I'm not going to profile. I'm not going to profile Orden again. But depending on who snores, you might hear that *snoring noise* And then just for a second, everything's still and quiet.

And then *snoring noise* and back to that. Do me a favor. Roll one more stealth check for me. I'm going to like, step on a dog or something now. *laughter* Who got these twelve yappy type puppies in here? *barking* So, suspense. Um, who knows what I rolled, guys? Fuck me. Thanatos is going to reach Merrick's bag. And lifting up the, uh, I would imagine there's like a tie that keeps it closed. Because there's no Velcro or clips yet invented. But I mean, like, there's like metal clasps or like one of those like twine things you wrap around it. Like a fastener type thing.

And flinging it open, the first thing that's going to happen is some type of cookware is going to fall out. It's stacked so precariously that- Goddammit, my brain put that there. That was me a minute ago. It's stacked so precariously that only Merrick knows how to open the thing and not have shit fall out. He's like, "No, no, no. There's a trick to it." Thanatos did not know this trick. And it is going to fall over onto Merrick. Like, just onto Merrick's foot. Something like that. And I imagine it's, I mean, I would imagine it's something like a cast iron pan.

Something like that. Something smallish, but like something that you can- It's got some heft to it. And it would be enough to wake Merrick up. I think the first thing that I would like to do, and I don't know if I need to do a check on it, what I would like to be able to do is grab whoever is doing this, right? Like in Merrick's spider-sits. Right, like a reflexive like- Just grab her wrist. Okay. Do me a favor, roll an athletics check. Me too. Is that going to be Thanatos' reflex? No. 23. Okay. So Thanatos would be able to like, "Hey, fucking hands off me." That type of thing.

Oh, now you're going to move quick and quiet. Yeah. With literally three failures in a row. With a plus eight, which isn't bad. It isn't. And you were, the first time you rolled, it's like, "Oh, that's really close. This will be okay." And it didn't get better. I kind of want to try one more thing, but I don't know if it's possible or if it's sort of blown it already. Well, like what is it? Well, I'm trying to think of what would happen if he woke up- Grab the pants, smash her in the face. Right, right. Dagger to the heart. No, just what I'm imagining is Merrick trying to wake up and in a split second, there's adrenaline.

He tries to grab whoever's wrist it is. And if he couldn't do that, then he would reach out with his other arm and try to grab an ankle to try to get them to fall. I would say that since you made a grab, I would say that there is time for Thanatos to have a reaction to that. Okay. So what would Thanatos' natural reaction be to Merrick waking up and trying to grab her? Realistically, I think she would just be like muttering "fuck" under her breath a bunch and trying to put the pan back in the bag. And that's what she's doing when he's trying to grab her wrist.

And then when he does that and she pulls away, she's just going to kind of jump away from the bag and back off. Is this like, to paint a picture, is this a thing where she's like trying to play it off like "oh no I just bumped into the bag sorry about that" or is it like "oh you caught me fuck fuck fuck"? It's probably "oh you caught me fuck fuck fuck". Okay. Realistically. I don't think she would think that fast to be able to pretend. Okay, so Merrick is going to jump up, right? So he's just adrenaline. He missed grabbing Thanatos. I'm guessing at this point he gets it, right?

It's Thanatos. Everything should be fine. He's not about to like stab anybody. It's not ghosts. But he's definitely standing up very quickly to be like "what the". He's going to imagine him going through this werewolf reflex of his, right? Like thinking that he's going to fucking wolf out, even though he's not. So he would jump up and breathe in really quickly and he would try to calm himself. You'd see him definitely trying to grab, you know, to make fists, something to sort of calm himself down. So I think he's good at that moment. And then he's going to squeeze his eyes shut and then open them up and say "what the fuck are you doing?" Are we whispering?

Is that? Yeah, he's actually trying, he's trying not to wake everybody else up, even if everybody else is already awake. He doesn't, he hasn't even paid attention. He's just, he's angry. He's got to agitate for sure. Got that. Thanatos is kind of just gonna like, when she sees how angry you are, she's gonna look a little bit surprised because she hasn't seen that from Eric at all. But then once he like speaks and she gathers herself again, she's like, I, and she, her eyes are kind of wandering around the ground for a second. Like she's, she's trying, like she can't look him in the eye, but also she's like, like almost like she's searching for something that she dropped maybe or something like that.

And then she's going to kind of say, I was just looking for some water. I'm out. Insight? Yeah, do me a favor roll a bluff check on that one. Okay. Oh, her bluff is actually, well, let's not. I'm not going to say what her bluff is. 27. Passive insight, sir. 27. Nice. So. So a tie would just be. Okay, so I say, so that passes. Yeah, like just, yeah. Maybe Eric is suspicious of it, but- I was going to say that realistically, I feel like maybe he could roll an insight check. Just because I don't want to say like, she looks like she's lying, but she looks like she's lying.

So here's a question. Maybe we could do it this way for story purposes. So since Thanatos looked around on the ground, would Merrick have picked up on that? So it's not that, you know, it's not about the lie. It's more like, did he pick up on that she's looking around for something? Would that be reasonable? Roll a perception check. 24. Yeah, I'd say that you noticed that she, you're, I would say you'd be studying her pretty closely. Just, yeah. So you would definitely know that she's looking around. Okay, so he's gonna- Looking for water? Listen, he's trying to still calm himself down and he's just perturbed.

And he's gonna just take a breath and he's gonna say, "Look, I'm sorry I'm not trying to be angry, but you don't know what would have happened if you had done this a month ago to me. Do you have any idea? You probably wouldn't be here anymore." So he's trying to calm his ass down. What, so you're looking for water near my bed, right? Is that what it is? Something on the ground? He's gonna look around on the ground too. Like, what could she possibly be looking for? Santos is just gonna rub the back of her neck and she looks, like her brows are kind of together.

Especially when you said, like, if you'd done this a month ago you wouldn't be standing here. She kind of looked frustrated and angry. Seriously? I would have killed you. And then she's just going to say, "I was looking in your pack for water. I thought it would be fine. I didn't know you'd freak out." Has anybody else woken up from any of this at all? You're not yelling and the noise was pretty, like, localized. It wasn't so much a noise so much as it was the actual object falling on Merrick. So I would say not yet. Not unless you guys raise your voice. Oh, that's cool.

I just wanted to see if anybody else was watching us do this. Okay, so Merrick is just, he's gonna seem very perturbed still and just reach down and find his flask of water. And sort of hand it over. Just kind of, kind of gruffly. I mean, I'm just imagining this is how Merrick is whenever he's woken up. All throughout the day he tries to be really nice but he really, really enjoys his sleep. Aww. Not a morning person. No. Or at least not a middle of the night. Yeah, that's it. He's a morning person. As soon as he wakes up and he's ready for it, he's like, "Why isn't everybody else up?

Let's do this." So he's just gonna sigh heavily and just sort of push over the flask and say, "Keep it for tonight, alright? We've gotta get sleep." Okay. She'll take it and she's gonna sit down but she's going to sit down right next to Merrick's pack. Do you have a bedroll? I'm not looking for visitors right now. It's time for sleep, Phantos. Phantos is going to gesture over to Kaluna and Ordon sleeping nearby and be like, "You're looking for privacy?" I'm not looking for visitors. I'm looking to get some sleep. Is there something else you need, Phantos?

We've gotta get our rest. That's the only reason that I'm upset. We've learned a lot of stuff and we're a lot further behind than we thought we were gonna be about a lot of things. So I'm a little stressed, okay? And it's time for some sleep. Is there something else you need? Phantos's eyes are going to move over to the pack very quickly and then away and then she's just going to dejectedly shake her head no and get up and walk back to her bedroll. Is any of this enough for Merrick to do any insight or put something together or is it just sort of like that's kind of the stage?

Give me an intelligence check, actually. Eleven. Sleepy. The only thing I'd say is that you do notice that she keeps going back to the pack, but I don't think it'd be enough for you to put together exactly what. Maybe just looking back at what she got that she hid it. Like she knocked something around. Right, maybe. There could be a couple of different reasons for that, but not enough to put together what you guys have talked about previously and all that. Alright, well, okay, in that case, goodnight, Phantos. Phantos is just going to shrug and she's sitting on her pack, but she's not lying down yet.

I don't know how the backpacks would hold all this stuff. Is there another blanket or something like that that Merrick could throw at her? To be motherly? Go to sleep. Just something like that, whatever it might be. He'll be like, hey. And then when Phantos turns around, he's going to throw it, not belligerently, but throw it like extra blanket. Yeah, like adapters. Right, to smother her. Just die already. Just be like extra blanket. Extra cozy. Whoop your fucking sleep really well. Those are dreams, Jesus. Have a fucking really nice dream. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

So that's it. Just something, you know, that's kind of his apology for being gruff in the middle of the night. But that's it, then I guess he's just going to go to sleep. Right. Is everybody else laying back down to go to sleep or is that? I think so. I'm wondering if she'd try again, but I don't think she'd be stupid enough to do it twice in one night. Like she's not the brightest, but that would be really dumb. Well, let's let's have everybody get some rest. And wake up feeling semi refreshed, I would imagine. I imagine everybody's a little on edge just because of this place and all the stuff that's happened.

It's strange because it's there are no "monsters" here anymore. If you count Darmok, he seemingly left and then there are seemingly apparitions and like bad stuff has happened here in the past. But there's nothing there's nothing that's openly attacked you or has shown any signs of physical violence or anything like that. It's mostly just this this old stodgy place with books. So there is a general feeling of unease, but not, you know, dread or for most people, kaluna, maybe not. But yeah, it's not like camping in the woods and then you hear something stomp up to you or something.

And then it's like, oh, no, this is probably going to try and kill us. So I have a question to ask the group. What's the next stop on this journey? You have leads now. Do you want me to run down a bunch of different options? Do you have you guys piece together something that you'd like to just go do? Is it something the group would want to talk about? Like what? How do you want to handle it? Well, we did have a conversation about sort of next steps at one point. And at least at that point, we were thinking that Brightport might be the best course of action for now, only because we have some resources there.

We could potentially talk to Tessia. If we're going to need a boat, then that's the place to try to find something like that, especially for trying to navigate some difficult waters. We try to do it ourselves. That's not going to be good. But that's it. That's that's all. I mean, I think that's all we we had really gotten to. So I'm definitely up for hearing other suggestions and just sort of re-talking about it as we're sort of packing our shit and taking stock of what we've just been through and all of that. I remember Fantos rolled pretty high on her history check of the area and she was pushing to get a guide because we could die if we don't like if we miss one of the inns or something, we could freeze to death.

Oh, freezing to death is a very real option. That whole journey there is probably going to be pretty unpleasant. And then getting there is going to be fucking... Yeah. So it'd probably be a lot better to have a guide to help us make some crucial decisions that could legitimately kill us. You know, like if group two had a guide that was like, hey, maybe don't go straight into those rocks. That might have helped, you know? I think they know the risks. They're told pretty bluntly, though. You're going to die. If you do this. Seriously, group two, why do you never listen to me when I say you're going to die?

I'm flat out telling you that there is not even a role. You will die if you make this decision. Do you understand me? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Kudos for playing their characters correctly, though. So Brightport would be the right place to look for a guide? I mean, would that be sort of the cream of the crop of, you know, villainy and... This guy's great. He's addicted to like six different kinds of drugs. But beyond that... Well, you will find lots of life experience in Brightport. There's lots of that there. He's really sweet. This is a really long one, but like, I imagine you pointing to like, going to like a stripper bar on a Tuesday and being like, there's a lot of life experience here.

Wow, I bet there's some stories. How do you think that would go that scar? Well, here's the thing. Depending on where you go, everyone give me... hmm... everyone roll a history check for me. Well, you all suck. Kaluna did okay. Kaluna did okay, yeah. Double nines. Oh, you can hear it. Brooklyn Nine-Nine was awesome. Is awesome. Great show. Everyone should watch it. Okay, Kaluna and Merrick. And let's see, Kaluna Merrick. Jesus. Okay, so... Santos is really tired and angry. Things did not work out last night. Well, here's the thing. There's a few different options in terms of... if you're looking for a straight up guide, you got a few options.

There are certain races that kind of have a wanderlust about them, like dwarves. Dwarves kind of have an explore vibe for two reasons. One, they kind of have a chip on their shoulder like, "I'm looking for a real challenge." So they will go to some of the most desolate places on the planet to look for treasure and challenge and stuff like that. Somewhere where the "weaker races" wouldn't go, right? And the second reason is that they're kind of greedy shits sometimes. It's kind of a wide streak in them that they kind of have a manifest destiny thing of like, "Well, if I can see it and take it, it's mine and always belong to me." Wow, let's hire Ordan.

Well, like, okay, you met Ordan wandering through the mountains, right? That's not something a lot of people would just do, because there's stuff in those mountains that will fucking rend you. He's probably whistling and yelling at trees. Yeah, specifically, like, you guys are in the Hezon mountains. There's dragons and drakes and shit. I mean, there's some dangerous stuff there. So yeah, you could find some dwarves, a dwarf, something like that. Brightport, you will find... Okay, if you're looking for specifically someone who's good at sailing, Brightport's a great place to go.

The only problem with Brightport is trust is an issue there. You can pay someone a fair wage and they still might betray you. There are honest, decent folks in Brightport. I don't want to paint the entire city as bad. There's a criminal element there, but there are people who are willing to trade an honest day's work for an honest pay. So the question is... Alright, let's work backwards real quick. So let's talk this out. We need to get basically to the dead center of Keon, right? For the seal. Pretty much. And it's gonna suck. Oh yeah. No matter what we do.

There's a couple of inns, I remember that, on the coasts roughly, or at least on either side of stuff. And we are either going to need to get a guide to help us get there, like a Therian Sherpa, or we just do it on our own. It sounds like the guide would be the better way to try to do it if we can find something that we trust. We also need to get to Keon, which means that we need a ship or we swim, which we die. Probably gonna die with the ship. We also have Tessie in, and she could be a resource in Brightport that could help us get there. And we do have, you know, a dragon.

We could find the guide outside Brightport, bring them to Brightport, and then from there take off, because that's also Port City, which would be the... I believe we said it's the closest port city to Keon? Yeah. That would be your best bet. I was saying it right. Yes. Unless you're on a different continent or something like that, there are continents where it'd be a tiny bit closer, but yeah, Brightport would be your best bet. You're gonna have to weave between a few islands and avoid pirates, and there's some stuff. The other option is to take Amara, but that has its own disadvantages.

Wait, what are the disadvantages? Would she not get tired? No. What are the disadvantages of bringing an ice dragon to the ice area? Oh, none for her! Okay, cool. That's just us. Imagine... Okay. Imagine clinging to a... Oh, I'm already imagining. I don't like this idea. Yeah, okay. Imagine being on top of the plane. Yes. In Alaska. Imagine clinging to the outside of a jet as you're flying 30,000 feet in the air to Antarctica. Sure. A really slow plane, though. Well, not a really slow plane, but a slower plane. Okay, it's way higher in the air. Sorry, go ahead. You're saying it would be memorable.

You'll never forget it. You would never... Yeah. The ordinance is incredible. As long as you like. The very aerial phantoses, however. Well, it's... Okay. The very lights and... You're gonna be higher up, which means it's gonna be colder, and you're gonna be traveling way faster than if you were on a ship. Now, you're... Okay. There are precautions you could probably take to be alright. It would still be fucking uncomfortable, and you'd get there way faster, and it'd be way less dangerous than on the ship. Well, I'm not gonna say way less dangerous. That's not true, but it's way faster.

So, what I'm thinking is that I would... Alright, so... I guess in character, nobody else would even see this necessarily, but I'd imagine that Merrick has the teleportation stone in a sack or something on his belt or whatever. And I think he would sort of just grab for it a little bit and just sort of make sure it's still there. Spaw at it. Yeah, a little bit. Like, just thinking. Like, mulling it over. Spawing his sack on his belt. Oh my god. That's what I'm here for. So, I mean, that's another option. It is an option, yes. The belt sack is an option. I'm not saying it's good.

I'm thinking of... I'm thinking of... I'm wondering if Thanos would agree to that. No, no, I'm sure he would not. He might lose half the body, but... Oh, Caluna would definitely win. No, no, here's what I'm doing. In character, Merrick is mulling over options that aren't terrestrial. Right. That aren't normal. Like portals. He's trying to think of... Yeah, he's trying to think of... Thinking of portals. Well, yeah, that's the other stuff. Like, well, we could always find a way to teleport ourselves there. We could borrow a dragon that might be able to get us there.

We might freeze our asses off and die and fall off of the dragon in the middle of it, but... Right. We could try it. Where are we right now on the map? If you were to look, look for Uminyaro. Uminyaro, got it. Now go west. You see where the road sort of curves inward and there's this bit of forest? In between the two mountains? Yep. Yep. Okay, gotcha. That general area. Right. Well, to reach Brightport, we'd have to go around. These mountains are over them. But then also we'd pass through Aldmoor. Would we find guides there? It's a possibility. Because that's on the way to Brightport.

Well, it can't hurt to ask while we're going, right? Like, no matter where we are. Right. For sure, because you never know who's going to be like, "Yeah, I used to do that all the time. I retired, but I do it for a little bit of money." Right. This is also a... Tessia's the best option, but I also want a guide. Sure. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is a journey you are somewhat familiar with, as the three of you came from Brightport just recently. Yeah, I mean, it'll take us a little while to get back down there, but we, you know, we're comfortable with this, right?

I don't know. I feel like America's really... is not going to give up on thinking... This is being articulated. I think this is just sort of what we're talking about now, maybe not exactly in character words, but I feel like this is being discussed, right? In character. But I think he's not going to give up on the, "What else could we do here?" and maybe we could find something that would give us a little bit of an advantage. Is Aldmoor where that angry war foraged is that helped Kaluna with their worms? I was thinking the same thing. Can we get worm guy?

Worm guy! I can't remember anyone's name ever. I feel like a douche. Drakk. Drakk. Wasn't Drakk walking along the bottom of the ocean when we last saw him? He still is just angrily mumbling to himself. Fucking tree traps of stools. Why did they stab her? I don't... There are a couple of war forged that actually live in Aldmoor currently. But Drakk is one of them. Drakk is one of them, yeah. Let's go get Drakk, guys. Is he our best guy? We should at least ask him. That was mostly a joke, but seriously, if he could, I would pay him all the money. Listen, at this point, any resource we have, we should try to find.

Right. It doesn't matter who it is. I'll ask the innkeeper. Oh, I like him. He called me "little lady." Well, yeah. I'm able to get him. Okay, to me, it feels like we need to find something else, some other way to be able to get there if we possibly can. And if not, then we need to make a pretty quick decision as soon as we can that we've got to just try it sort of the normal way. Right. And both of those options lead towards Brightport. I feel like we should just head that way. Yeah, I think so. I think we could go try to talk to Tessia if she's around. Yeah.

Whoever we can, somebody who has some magic items of some sort. Yeah, that sounds good. Then once we know more, we can make our final decision. We don't really need to go to Umineiro. I don't think we'll find any guides there. No one leaves Umineiro, really. As far as I know. So, how about Ordan and Kaluna throughout all of this? We're sort of brainstorming and talking. Are they... I know that Ordan was on his way to Umineiro, right? Right. Is any of this making him feel like something's, you know, he's being jerked around or anything? If Ordan can avoid going to Umineiro, he will be a very happy camper.

Great. So, when you talk about having contacts in Brightport, Ordan will be backing that plan fully. Kaluna? Kaluna's just watching for ghosts. They don't have anything to contribute, so they're just like, you know. I think Merrick is going to try to connect with Kaluna a little bit. Because I don't think it's happened very much while we're in the library because it's been so tense. So, he's going to be like, "Hey, hey." Their head is just going to snap over. They're just so tense. Yeah. Are you okay? I mean, I did it, but... No. No. All right. Tell you what, do you want to get out of here?

Yes. Okay. Like, they have the stuff on already. Like, they're... So, let's go. But I need to know if you're... If you have any thoughts, if you have any thing to say about it. Do you want to head back to Brightport to see what we can do? We've got to figure out what's going on with the seal and we've got to figure out a way to get there. Do you have any other ideas? I don't want you to feel excluded and I know you're worried about where we are, but you're important to all of this. Colleen is going to sort of take a second to try and think, but, like, they don't have pupils.

So, every time I try to describe stuff, it doesn't mean anything. But their eyes are going to dart around regardless, just sort of like, "Okay, we're giving it thought, we're giving it thought." And then they'll say, "We like Brightport. Let's go." And they're going to sort of like start inching towards the door. Merrick's going to sigh. You know what Brightport has? Worms! Stew. Delicious stew. Colleen is going to get in a fistfight with that dude. "You gave me worms!" Just knock down the door, point directly at the cook. I mean, a pig is more like it. Not so much just what I'm upset about the worms that were going to bore through your body.

But, dude, me? Well, because Kaluna wouldn't have had that problem if they hadn't been eating a pig. Because that's never been in their diet. To be fair, there are worms in plants, usually. Maybe apples, I guess. But you don't eat a gross apple. I guess you can eat a gross pig, but that's because Kaluna's gross. So we're taking off? Yeah. So, I think Merrick's going to sigh. He realizes that Kaluna has been in complete distress for the entire time. Kaluna's just shut down. Yeah, completely shut down. But there was no other choice. So I think he's going to, if nothing else, even if it's not stated out loud, for the next little while, for the journey back to Brightport, he's going to try to be very attentive to Kaluna.

Just try to take care of him. Take care of him. So, let's go. Anything else anybody needs from this place before we take off? I think we should go through all the books one more time. Right, Merrick starts to take his sack. Just one last one. Merrick will start to take his backpack off. Because he's taking his backpack off. Okay. Thanos is going to grab it. Right. And run away. Nope, let's go. Let's just go. Merrick's going to take one last look at this place and look kind of back in the direction of where Dharmak was. And probably shudder a little bit. So, let's go.

Well, okay. Correct me if I'm wrong, you guys had horses, correct? Yes we did, because Thanos almost scared the crap out of us. Yes, you did. Okay. So you've been outside without food for like, what, three months that we were in there? No, it's been, you know, about a day. It's been, yeah, so. The good thing about horses is there's food everywhere. They eat rocks. They're fun. You know, interesting points. I thought we were walking. Yeah, I got confused, because I think on the way there, like once we got to like the valley or wherever it was, it was like, we're walking alongside each other instead of we're riding alongside each other.

That happens sometimes where, yeah. We switch. Sometimes the horses just phase in and out of existence. Yeah. That's a Theria thing. Like people, it's, we don't talk about it just half the way. No, we don't. It's just common. Just absorb the horse into your body. It's fun. Like a welcome to Night Vale situation. Right. Let's roll. Okay. Speaking of putting horses in your butt, you know what? I'm not that shameless. Don't. I'm not that shameless. Ordon wouldn't have a horse. Right. No, he wouldn't. So Ordon's gonna have to ride with somebody, but I believe we sorted that out last time, too.

Like, who would like to do me a favor and roll a flat D20? Not it. I rolled shit earlier, guys. That means you do. I'm perfectly willing to doom us. Do it. Do it, brah. Okay. Here we go, guys. Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. Sorry. Oh, well. Nice job. I was hoping that maybe it would help for doom. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I was like, if we ask for doom, certainly we'll get a good roll. It worked earlier. Oh, you're being silly. You can't affect my dice. Well, ladies and gentlemen at home, that's a four. A good solid four. Nice and even.

A solid four. It starts at one and goes down to 20. You guys are going to start to ride back, and you're going to make it most of the way past the mountains, and then the area's going to start to open back up, and you're going to hear a noise. It's been pretty quiet. You're going to see birds scatter all of a sudden, and this kind of comes out of nowhere. But Merrick is going to be sideswiped by a drake. Why did you punish Merrick? It was Eric's fault. Oh, Merrick can't be surprised. Eric punished Merrick. Actually, Merrick can't be surprised. That's true.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fuck off. His horse can, though. That's true. Rest in peace, whatever the horse's name was. I was about to be like, I still think it should be Ordon, but I remembered I'm pretty sure Ordon's riding with Fantas, so I'm fine with this, actually. So, here's what's going to happen. Merrick's going to take a tumble, and so is Merrick's horse, and two drakes are going to come sliding out of nowhere, just onto the path, just spilling onto the path. Big hefty drakes. So, hold on a second. We are going to... We're going to... Damsel is just having flashbacks to a life she doesn't remember, where someone got trapped under a horse and it fucked everyone over for a while.

Shit, none of you were here for that. Alright, everybody, do me a favor, roll initiative. Oh! Hold on a second. I'm going to roll two d6s for Merrick's damage here. No. So, that's six damage. That's not bad. That's cool. I can handle that. You're a warrior. I just fucking saw you. You are a champ. There you are. I don't like having high initiative. Worded roll twice. Oh, that was a thing that kept happening last time, too. Yeah. No, I think this one's my fault. Oh, okay. That's fine then, because... Well, we'll take the first one because it's higher and it's the first one, so...

Also, I get to... I actually do get to do this twice and take the higher of the two. So, there you go. I get to just suck. Hey, it actually did it on its own. That's really cool. Oh, cool. Okay, let's do this. God, that's a good initiative, Ordon. We get to see what you're made of. Hey, you guys haven't fought in a while. Nope. Well, Ordon, you're up first. All right. Do I have to dismount? I would... Yeah, we don't do that here. With, like... I'm assuming you would have the... We never dismount here. We don't dismount or sheathe your weapon or any of that stuff, because it's just hideous.

Both those are sexual. Oh, my God. [LAUGHTER] Okay. I am going to move two, three, four. I am going to activate my defender aura. Okay. Or a one that lasts until you end it as a minor action or you fall unconscious. While in the aura, any enemy takes a negative two penalty to attack rolls that do not include me. Okay. And then I will attack Drake number one with a melee basic attack. Okay. Okay, why didn't that... He has him selected. That's weird. Good roll. Yeah, it's a good roll. That'll hit. It's just that should tell you that automatically. That's weird. Okay.

Well, there I am targeting the right thing. Yeah, but you were before, too, so I don't know. Yeah, you'll hit it. So go ahead and roll damage. Okay. Fantastic. 15 damage. And that won my turn. All right. Sabremaw Drake. Okay, so to paint a picture, these things are like giant dragons kind of mixed with cats. Like, they're really lithe creatures, kind of very toned and muscular, huge fucking spiny scales all over them. And they kind of, like, slide into the path. Like, they're very graceful in that sense. Lots of teeth. And these teeth are going to try and snap at Orden. 27 is going to miss.

Holy lord. Jesus. Nice. Shit, Orden. I'm happy with that outcome. You are ripped. Sabremaw 2. Let's see here. Okay, this other sabremaw is going to take an opportunity to attack to flank. Okay. So go right ahead. Take a swing at him. Is that a special thing or is that just a melee base? Melee base. Yeah, it's just a melee base. Okay. Oh, that'll definitely hit. Ladies and gentlemen, that's not just a hit. That 19 is a crit. Wait, seriously, you took that feat? I have an expanded crit range. Nice. Nice. I thought you were going to get your first almost a crit, but I guess you're the only character who can say that.

About an 18. That is true, I suppose. Then do me a favor. Hold that shift key down and click that blood button, the first one. Ooh, 18 damage. Shit. Alright. So that, okay. Go to target Orden. And gets a plus two. 27 is going to miss. God damn. Maric. Fucking Orden, you're shit strong. Seriously. I'm super impressed. That's that dwarf step. That's the other stuff that comes in handy with the dwarf. All the racist stuff we've been saying, but very hardy in combat. I mean, you're greedy and you snore loud. It's the worst. Your nose is a funny shape and you're a drunk, but I mean.

Oh, Maric would have been prone. Sorry. Well, then I'm going to put Maric back there. Sorry. I guess I'll just do my turn because Jason didn't tell me. No, I think he did. So, or at least I, you know, fallen off a horse equals prone. I'm guessing he didn't just land, he didn't stick the landing maybe. Okay, well then in that case. So move action, he's going to stand up. He is going to, yeah, he's going to do moment of glory. I know. I know. No, he's not going to do that. That's dumb. Okay. Second thought, let us not go to Camelot. Shh. Shut up everybody. Cast Light of Aravindor and...

That is a 33. That will hit. 12 damage to the drake. Is there something that goes along with that? See, so each enemy in the burst, so each ally in the burst, which would be Ordan. Actually, the burst is burst one within five squares. So, Ordan would be the only one, right? Okay. Each ally in the burst gains a plus two power bonus to AC until the end of your next turn, because I know you really needed it. [laughter] Yeah, he was not looking good there. Hey, I got through the first one fine. I will take the help for the second one. There you go. So that's radiant damage.

Okay, sweet. Anything else, sir? Nope. Thanatos, you're up. Sup, bro. Thanatos is gonna move over here real quick, and then do a force punch. And I moved so that if I do hit, the dragon will not fall on top of Ordan, because that would be kind of shitty. Blast? Yes, blast. That's the one from a distance, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's the one I want right now. Thanks. Okay. In fact, how many is that? How much distance do I get there? Range ten? I'm gonna go back here and do that. It's just one step back, but maybe it'll help. I don't know. And so we're going to attack. That'll hit.

Woo! And then we're going to do damage. Oh, good lord. Sixteen damage to the drake! Come in here. So it's also gonna knock it back three squares. Is it large or is it medium? That's large. Yeah, so three. Yep. Cool, cool. So one... two... three. Okay. Now let's hope its movement is five so it can't reach me. Okay, so I have a weird question here. Okay. Was it shifted? Yeah, you can't hit it. It goes too fast, I think. Well, no, no, no. See, I actually have a specific thing about shifts. Ooh. So I have an at-will opportunity attack, which is different from the basic opportunity attack, called Battle Guardian.

An enemy subject to your defender aura either shifts or makes an attack that targets an ally of yours but not you. Well, I think this counts as a push, not a shift. Yeah. Well, okay, that's why I was asking whether it was a shift. Yeah, no, because he's not moving of his own volition. He's being blasted, so it's a... Okay. That would be some awesome tag team shit if it did work. That would be fucking cool. I'm really upset that it doesn't. I didn't expect it to, but I just wanted clarification. That would be some awesome team power shit. And as the drink is flying by...

Like, as he's flying by, Ordyn's literally just like, "And this too, fucker!" Kaluna. Kaluna. I just wanted to say it. I don't know. It's fun. Let's scoot away a smidge. Just a hair. A skosh, if you will. You didn't clean off my map. Yeah, I had to scoot mine over to see. I'm zoomed in pretty close, but it went just a skosh, and then you disappeared. Yeah. I would like to summon Pig as a minor action so that he's flanking with Ordyn on that Drake plate. Okay. On it. Let's see if Mack remembers how to use the table. And... That's another thing that kind of sucks about being a Sion is I can never really help flank because everything I do pushes people.

So, like, the second I flank, I am pretty much condemning the person who's trying to help to pain. Okay, we're gonna use just Stalker Strike so we can keep flanking. And a boop. 17. Wow, 17 damage. 17? I guess so. Wow. What? I'm glad we're all surprised. Did you do more damage than Thanos? He did. Wow. One more. Just one. Okay. That doesn't... Okay. You rolled really high, though. Yeah. To be fair, like, you rolled my highest. That's the max. Yeah. Okay, so now Pig can provide flanking, and before we move on from my turn, does anyone remember what aspect Kaluna was in? 'Cause I sure don't.

You were frightened. What one do you think you'd be in if you were frightened? I know that doesn't help a lot, but, like, they all mean shit, so, like, does that help? I don't want to pick the frightened one, but I guess I should. If it's not established, then you can do whatever you want, right, Tiesla? I don't remember if it was established. I remember the changing of aspects. Yeah, I just remember that before we left the one place. I want to say protector just because of the whole Darmok thing. Like, I remember there was a chat after... Yeah, that would probably...

Yeah, that would make sense. God damn it. Okay. It's cool. It's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's fine, guys. Move on. Okay. Ordon! The first thing I will do is activate my hammer hand stance. Whenever I strike with a basic melee attack, I can use a free action to push that enemy one square and then shift the same distance to a square adjacent to the enemy. Okay. And then I'm going to target Sabremaw Drake, number one, and I'm going to attack with a melee basic attack. Ooh, that'll miss. And that will miss. And that'll end my turn. Alright. Sabremaw Drake. You know...

Alright, fuck it. You know what? I'm going to continue to target Ordon because he kind of has to. And... Attack. That's going to miss. And... Sabre? Okay. Hmm. What's the movement speed? Oh, fuck. No. And... Let's put you right there. And let's not target Ordon. I pushed you! Yes! Push him again! Dick. Didn't knock it prone because it's a larger target than medium. Yeah, I know. Go to target Thanatos and take a... bite. Or not. That is going to miss, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the least distant this way. See, that never happens. My defenses are weak as shit. That's why we need a Ordon.

Who is the opposite? Okay, so Marek's up. Let's see... finally going to move. One, two, three, four, five... He's making his way over to try to get in the middle of things and also to get a little bit closer to Kaluna. Making my way downtown. Okay, one second. Were you... You were adjacent to the Drake, weren't you? Oh no. Wait, when? Here? Is that adjacent? Yeah. Ah shit. Well, forget it then. You can. It would just take an opportunity attack. I don't want an opportunity attack. Okay. That's a nice thing. No, no it's not. Fine. I'm just going to go ahead and do Seering Light.

I'm going to target this dude. That'll hit. Drake number one. Wow. Okay. Seventeen damage to the Drake and that will bloody the Drake. As a result of being bloodied. This Sabremall Drake number one is going to go into a frenzy and attack everyone around it. Woo! Including Pig. Yeah, I felt like it needed a woo the way you said it. Like it needed a crowd. It's exciting for the Drake. What are Pig's stats? Pig doesn't really have stats. I think he has Kaluna's AC maybe. Okay. Like he might have Kaluna's defenses, but if he takes... Any damage. No, it's um... Gosh, it's sixteen damage and he poofs and Kaluna takes eleven damage.

Oof. Okay, well let's do these first. That'll hit Maric and obviously that will miss. So this is going to hit Maric and only... Okay, let's see if it'll hit Pig too. Would a twenty hit your AC? Probably not, right? No. Uh, no. Okay, cool. So just Maric. That's cool. I'm into it. It's fine, everything's chill. Okay. Thirty-seven damage to Maric. And Maric is going to be grabbed up by this Drake. It's going to be in its jaws now. Maric's going to be in the Drake's jaws. So it essentially has grabbed you. Great. So... As a result, Maric makes tea. It's going to go cold and then you're going to be very upset.

Is that the end of Maric's turn? I mean, at this point, I think he's not going to be able to move exactly. Yeah, I think that's... I don't think he would even think to be able to do anything. Okay. Yeah, I'm done. Thanos. Thanos' turn. I feel like my blast works better against creatures, but then I would have to take a hit. Or I could do... I'm on my second turn. Do I have to charge after encounters or is that just dailies? Dailies. Okay, cool. This will be your second attack. Yes. Aw shit, Kaluna, you're within a blast three. Why did you do that? Why did you exist near me?

How dare you? Why didn't you warn me? I could have moved. I didn't know the dragon was going to come at me. We should have coordinated this. I tried to move as far away from you as possible, to be fair. Fair enough. So I take a disadvantage if I try to do a far away attack, a ranged attack, that's the one. If you do a ranged attack adjacent to that creature that you're attacking, you're taking an opportunity attack. Ew. If I shift back first, and then do a ranged attack. Then it's all kosher. Sweet, that's the thing I'm going to do because I think your reflex probably isn't as good as your AC.

Because you're a fucking dragon. So I'll do that. Actually, just to be extra safe, I'll shift here because I'm really aware of creatures falling on teammates. You know what, yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll shift here and I'll do the thing I was planning to do. It's against Fort, so it might not hit, but it's a cooler attack. And Kaluna just fucking showed me up as far as damage goes and that kind of hurts my feelings. So I'm going to do that. Actually, I can still be here because you're not within three at that point, right? Fuck it, I'll just be here. Just be safe.

Do I get a plus one for thinking speedy? Oh, you know the answer to that. I'm just going to miss now. The speediest. Holy shit! That little hit! I really thought the dragon's fort would be way out of my range, but I rolled okay. So, I'm going to do, this is reject the lonesome, which is just a blast. I don't know how this blast works, I don't know if I punch the ground or if I just like, can I do the Dragon Ball Z thing where I just scream at the sky and that? I, well, the way the attack essentially works is just it's a force blast in every direction coming out from you that shoves enemies back.

It doesn't necessarily, it doesn't hurt as much as some of the other attacks, but it's meant to just like get the fuck away from me. Like it's that. Cool. Reject the loathsome and that'll hit, so do damage. Fifteen damage. And go the fuck back before that activates. Three. That. Shit. Oh, Kolloon, I'm so sorry. Rest, wait, no, it's okay. Hold on. Wait, you're not adjacent, so it's fine, right? I'm looking to see what the reach is on it. Nope, it's one, not two, so yep. Nice. Yeah, you go through that little hissy fit over there, you little asshole. So this, this drake is going to be pushed back, it's going to dig its talons into the ground, stop itself after about fifteen feet, and then just sort of like snap all around, just lose its fucking mind.

Kolloona, your turn. Well, before I move, do you need me? If the drake comes up to you again, where would be the best place for Kolloona to be? I think you're pretty much safe now, because if the creature comes up again, I'm probably going to use Devouring Resentment. Probably. I'm trying to think. Which is a personal attack, so it won't reach you. If you wanted to scoot away a little bit, but keep me in range of all your heal-y shit, that'd be cool. Oh, no, that's not even an option, because pig is the option. Oh, pig is the thingy, okay. So I should get closer to pig, is what you're telling me right now.

Yes. And away from you. Yeah. Um... That'd be fucking nice. God, shit. You're fine where you are, I will move if, like... No, I'm just trying to think if Kolloona would move away at this point. They should, but they probably wouldn't, because they're stupid. Okay, now that we've established that, we're gonna give some heal-y heals. Eric, would you like some heals? I would love it. Good, because you're getting them regardless. Healing Spirit, I always forget which one I'm supposed to use. 3d8. And then an additional six on top of whatever this is. Ooh, low rolls, but ten.

No, wait, no. No, wait, no. No, I lied. No? No. He gets to spend a Healing Surge. That 3d8 does nothing. But he does. So wait... He does get... Oh, it kills Maric. It's like outright dead. Yes. Oh, right. It's murder, basically. I'm sorry. I saw rolly things and I got excited. No, Maric gets to spend a Healing Surge plus six. Okay, so let me take those away. Hold on a second. I'm sorry, I didn't fall through. Yeah. Boy, you guys have not done combat in a while. No. I'm worried about this NPC fight. Yeah, we should... Yeah, we need to... We'll practice. You're gonna get a practice session before we actually do that.

It's been forever. I know. I can't remember the last one. Santos fought against those kobolds, but that was kind of just a... Knolls. Knolls, yeah. Tiny annoying things. Yeah, they're not. Your life was not in danger. So you're spending a Healing Surge. Yes, please. Plus... Six. Plus six. So roll a d6. No, it's just six. It's my Wisdom Mod. Oh, well then. All right. That's good. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Anything else, Kaluna? Yeah, I'm gonna hit this Drake again. And you will. Yeah. What now? Well, damage to the Drake. And now Kaluna's gonna die. Nope, that's... We don't know that yet.

I'm still pretty sure it's more pissed off at me than you. I mean, at least I have something that comes at me, bro. Ordon! All right, quick question. If I can move the Drake, does it break the hold on Merrick? That will end the grab as long as its reach doesn't exceed the spaces moved away. Awesome. Since we've already established that it's one, then if you move it more than one away, then the grab breaks. All right. Then I am going to shift one square to here. I will no longer be in flanking, but it'll be worth it. And then I am going to melee basic. Okay.

Oh, that'll hit. All right. And then I'm going to roll damage. Twelve damage. And then as a result of my Hammerhand stance, I am going to use my free action to push it one square away from me. Okay. Thus breaking the grab. Then I will use the second half and shift to continue to be next to him. All right. Which is a good thing, because that gives him a +5 to attack rolls to any creature that's grabbed by him. All right. So it's almost a free hit. Anything else? No, that will end my turn. Okay. This Drake has fucking had it. Had it with this Dwarf. Had it. So here we go, guys.

And attack. That will hit. Yes, it will. Forty-six damage to Orden, and Orden is now grabbed by this Drake. Shit. That was a lot of 9 and 10s. That was. That was a lot. I'd just like to point out my last, when I rolled the d10s, I got 1, 2, 2, and 3. You just got 9, 7, 4, 9, 10. Yeah, that's a little different. That's called luck. You are not having a good dice night. I am not at all. Sabremaw Drake 2 is going to charge at Thanos. Oh, don't do that. And attack. Don't do that. Thirty-one damage is going to hit Thanos. Okay. Pause. Think. Think I'm going to take. Should I go with the temporary hit points?

The bonus to all my defenses. I'm going to go with the temporary hit points. You die first. Okay. That is an encounter reaction. Thanos is hit by an attack. Thanos will gain temporary hit points of the amount of the damage dealt by this thing that's about to happen to me. Okay, so. So it's going to hurt, but she's just going to be like, "Fuck that," and just. Until the fight's over, then it's. Then it's going to hurt a lot more. Oh, God. Forty-seven. Ugh. Oh my God. The result of being bloody. [Laughter] Thanos is going to spit up blood and go, "Blip." This Drake is going to scoop Thanos up in its big jaws here and just start to needle her.

So Thanos is going to get ten hit points. That will end the Drake's turn. Maric, your turn. Did you give me my temporary? I did. Okay, then. Uh, Jason, did I? Oh, wounds. The green wounds is the damage I've been dealt. Yeah, it's a silly system. It's stupid. Why is it green? It makes no sense. It's green until you're bloody, then it's red, which makes sense. But why is it there's damage meter ticking up when it doesn't? It just should just take away from your base hit points, but yeah. I got it. Thanks. No, no problem. Shit, so can you remind me. So, uh. Uh, Ordon has been grabbed.

Yes. And Thanos. As, yeah. As it grabbed as well, or? Both grabbed, yeah. Both grabbed, okay. Shit. So do you want to save your DPS or your tank? I don't really look at it that way, Jason. I think about it as, uh. I reduce people to numbers. I know. Do I want to save Thanos if I can, or Ordon? You want to go save Thanos? Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to move to. You probably want to go save Ordon. Oh, yeah, because Thanos has a lot of attacks that, uh. Kind of attack the area. Jesus. And she's going to use it no matter what. This is going to be very, very complicated for Maric.

What would Maric do? I imagine that, like, you're standing next to Ordon who just saved your life. It's true, but then. But I think he would see Thanos as somebody that he feels responsible for. I mean, Ordon, yes, but. In one way, but I think Thanos is a person that he would feel a little bit more like he needed to protect. Sure. Well-being. Yeah. In distance? No, I'm just kidding. Do what Maric would do. WMD. What would Maric do? Yeah, Maric would, uh. Let's see here. He'd want a bracelet. Can we get a shirt? Can we put that in the store? Can we write it on his mustache?

Like, it's a shirt with that, like, emblazoned across a Maric mustache. Or it's written in mustache. Yes. Beautiful. Styled. Okay. Yep. So I'm going to be coming to... I'm going to get between the two, right? So he's just going to move a couple of squares. Okay. And then he's going to moment of glory to the Drake that's grabbed Thanos. So barring a really low attack roll, this should go well. Whew! That is a hit. There we go. And prone. Let's see what happens here. So you are pushing it three squares. Yeah, push the target three squares, not get prone. You and each ally in the blast gain 5 to all damage until the end of the next turn.

And the blast is...? It's a close blast 5, so. Okay. Everybody but Coloma. Heh heh heh heh heh. Oh god, what a dick. Thanks for this healing surge. They just healed you. Yeah. Thanks for the healing surge. He's going to flip her off. Flip it down. Me. Friendship. Friendship. Uh, it's magic. Uh, okay. So that's that. And then... Hang on. Hang on. There's going to be great stuff happening here. Okay. Coming soon. If I could just... I have so many cards open here that I actually screwed myself up. Uh, that's it. That's all he's going to do. Okay. Yeah, sorry. You sure? Yeah, I think that's all I'm going to do for now.

You sure? Because we can wait. No, I'm feeling the pressure from myself. No, stop. Did you hear my last turn? It was a fucking mess. We love and support you. Okay, fine. I'm going to pull an action point. Mm-hmm. Do I need to do anything to do the action point? Or do I just say I do it? You just say you're using an action point. Done. Don't forget whatever magic stuff you get for using the action point. What do I get? Oh my god. Prophetic action. You gain an extra action... No, you gain an extra move action when you spend an action point. Uh-uh. But I don't want to move.

You don't have to. Okay, but I could. You just... You gained it. I gained it. Cool. Okay, so I'm going to use revealing light also on this particular drake. Okay. Right. Still targeted. Boom. That'll hit. And... Ooh, 21 damage to the drake. And that's it. That's all he's going to do. Okay. Actually, no, wait. Let me... I'm sorry. Can I take that back? If I have an extra move, I think he's going to try to get closer to Kaluna, honestly. Okay. So let me do that. Oh, now you care. Now you care. Not when you're handing out bonuses. Thanos. Okay. Thanos is going to take a little walk over here.

One, two, three. Thanos is going to use decimate. She's not happy. Oh, god. Wait, here. That... It's gonna... We'll see what happens. Party! 'Cause that's... Everyone's three away, right? Before I roll. Yep. Checking. Yeah, the small crater you're about to put in Theria is just out of range of your friends. Cool. I'm going to take a fourth of this damage, which might hurt a lot. Let's hit. That'll hit. Damn straight. 49 damage. Ow. What's a fourth of 49... What's a fourth of 50 damage? 12 and a half? Oh, that's not bad. Okay. I can... I mean, that's a lot for me right now, but I'll probably take a rest this next turn and enjoy myself.

There goes the drake. The ground is going to crack and split as Thanos plunges her fist into it, and jagged bits of rock are going to jut up violently and stab at this drake. Little bits and pieces are going to open up and kind of crumble beneath its feet. That's going to lose its footing. Just complete panic. But that's only going to last for a couple of seconds as it gets stabbed to death by the ground it was standing on, and the light fades from its eyes, and then its neck just kind of goes slack. Thanos will say, "I don't like being fucking touched," and just spit on it.

Probably not, because... Well, maybe, because her mouth is full of blood. But, you know. Yeah. She's hurt. Kaluna. Okay, Pig is going to... ...saddle him just to scooch over so he's next to Ordon. And we're going to try and use Ironbreaker Claws, and we're going to target things first. That's going to hit. And damage! That's going to... Wait, wait! Oh my god! Kaluna just polished off his last drake! Ooooooh! I wasn't even trying. I was trying to help. Okay, that's a little braggy there, Kaluna. Let's not try. You succeeded in helping. I helped. I was trying to get Ordon to kill it.

Oh. I'm happy. Ordon's going to be clenched. That's the first time Kaluna's killed something. Guys! I think so. I'm so proud! I like to think that Kaluna killed it and then went, "Oops!" That's not what I'm trying to do. Like, really frustrated? Like, "No!" Oh no. You know how whenever the Predator kills shit, it just yodels? I'm shocked you've seen that movie for so long. I am so shocked you've seen the Predator. It was one of my brother's favorite movies. It shocked me. I don't know why. It's not that old shit! No! Okay. It doesn't seem like a Mac movie. It's not.

It's just as old as Robocop, Terminator, stuff like that. And you, Kelsey, Val, I always feel like I'm an ancient old man when I reference stuff like that. I don't remember most of Predator, but I remember enough. You remember Yodeling. That's pretty specific. But yeah, Kaluna's going to just roar. From deep in their chest, it's like, "Yeah!" Except, you know, with less words and more noises. And now Kaluna has the insatiable taste for blood. They always did. They just never succeeded in getting more. Then they lowered their eyes to Merrick. And then do the Xena war cry to Xena?

Something ridiculous. It's kind of a silly war cry. Didn't she move her tongue around in a really suggestive way, considering she's her best friend and all of what was going on there? Yeah. So this Drake, again, is going to drop dead, still clenching Ordon, and just mouth just going to go, "Awwwwww," and just kind of fall over with a big flop. And the adrenaline is going to wear off from combat after a few seconds, and Thanatos is going to lose all those temp hit points. Ow! And that's really going to sting. Can Kaluna try and get a chest bump from Merrick before either of them go to help Thanatos?

I just don't know. Do we need to roll or anything? Wait, wait, ignore her. Ignore this. I think this should be a thing. So, yeah, do we need to roll for this, or can we just do it? Can we roll to see if one of us knocks the other over? Yeah. You know what? Look, here's the thing. Roll a saving throw. And the only reason I'm asking you to do this is because, is it going to be a really cool type of high-five moment? Like a Top Gun high-five? Yeah! Or is it going to be like a really playground white guy high-five where two people miss each other completely? How badass is this chest bump?

And he's just like, "Fuckin' yeah!" Or is it just gonna, yeah. But Kaluna, do me a favor and roll. Oh my god! Merrick saved the day! Yeah, no, that's, no. Sorry. This is in an act of complete synchronicity. You guys, like, fuckin', you know, Kaluna downs this Drake, and Merrick had just helped with the other Drake, and like, okay, you guys just kind of see each other, it's like, fuckin' you, no you! And just chest bump. And it's, fireworks go off, and like, flags drop from the sky, and just screeching planes go overhead, and just, yeah, it's amazing. This is the best moment of my life.

And Thanos is just bleeding out in the background. Exactly. That makes it great. That's our backdrop. Guys, seriously? I'm about to take you to the hospital. Fucked up. So after this amazing chest bump that's, that like, couldn't have felt better or looked better, Merrick's gonna do a thumb pointing over at Thanos to Kaluna. Like, you take, you take Thanos. And then he's gonna rush over to Kaluna. Kind of, like, deflate a little bit, like, that was, that wasn't a long celebration, but like, they still had the chest bump, so they're like, they're satisfied for now.

But they'll look up Thanos. I'm thinking that the facial expressions are like, oh yeah, no, you, no, go, yeah, yeah, like, like, you're gonna go fuckin' heal her. And then, you know, it's like, it's just complete celebration, but like, yeah, we'll just do anything. Just imagine, like, a fucking football game or like some grass, just like, bro, bro, bro. Dumping Gatorade on each other. Exactly. They just get some of the Drake blood and use that, just, whoo! So this is Ordon's first experience with the after party celebration, I guess. It's everyone's first experience, I think.

So, did, Ordon took some damage, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. Seriously, your friends are in pain. Seriously, anyway. Seriously helped. So Barrick, still smiling, right, still like glowing, is going to rush over to Ordon and do a heal check. I can't even talk, I can't breathe. The chest bump was pretty hard. Yeah, we knocked all the air right out, yeah. I guess I will also do a heal check. Ooh! Oh, okay. Wow, you are not giving a shit. Kelowna's got the bloodlust. They don't want to fix people, they want to kill them. I'm just going to massage this wound. Tell me if this feels good.

It's like Kung Pao. Hey. Was that an enter the fist reference? Yes, it was. Oh my god! What? Na na na na na, Neo. You said I did that, I'm enjoying it. I am at a loss for words. Again, one of my brother's favorite movies. We watched it like every week. Okay. My favorite was Alien. What the fuck is happening today? I didn't like Alien 2 though, because that was when the dog died. Mac, I've known you for almost two years, this is the most I've ever related to you. Like, just a minute. Sorry, I'm sorry I made you wait so long. Anyway. I've also enjoyed Spaceballs a lot, do we need to have a conversation?

Jesus Christ, yes! You and I- Did we just become best friends? No. I guess so. Okay. Okay, pop in healing surges for folks so that you're back up to full health, you're ready to run down the road again. All right. Everyone ready to continue? Totally. Woo! Mm-hmm. I'm pumped. Continuing your journey, hours and hours are going to pass. You're going to run around the Hazon Mountains here, pass to Imanero, back down the road from the north here, and you are going to start to approach the town of Aldmoor. You guys said you wanted to stop in Aldmoor, or did you want to sort of ride through on your way to Brightport?

How did you want to handle it? I think we were going to stop and just see if there were any guides or anything like that, but not chill out and rest here. Right. Just kind of pop your head in and okay. Do me a favor, you guys, roll a streetwise check while I'm in the lovely, rustic town of Aldmoor. Damn. Hmm, let's see here. Ordon, we're almost twinsies. I'm a little bit better than you, but don't let that discourage you. I can handle that. Okay, for some reason I just pictured Thanos on Ordon's shoulders and they're both looking around. The two shortest members of the party just kind of jump on each other.

We're almost a real person. I'm picturing like a Kate Sith moment. Aww. Or a Farator. Or Farator. Guys, Kalluna's the tallest now. Today's the best day. So you guys are going to get to the town of Aldmoor and start kind of asking around, kind of get the word on the street. It's like, who might be a good guide? Everyone in Aldmoor is either telling you, you're probably going to find someone a bit more experienced in Brightports, though you might want to be careful with that. The only other person that they're going to mention is a young lady named Zunora Fennis, who, for lack of a better term, what she calls herself is a monster hunter.

And she lives in town here. Is this the lady that we talked to before when we were asking about werewolves? Yep, so I was going to say Merrick and Kalluna have actually, you know, Uuna was doing most of the talking, but Merrick would be like, oh, her. Yeah. That blindingly unhelpful lady. At the time. Yeah. At the time, yeah. She was doing the best she could, really. She has been around, is what people have been saying. Sure she has. She has been to places. Oh. None of my business. She's a monster slut. Wow. So that's badragon.com, if you go to our website you can click on the banner.

You can cut that. What's your name again? Zunora. Zunora, right. Okay, anything else from R Streetwise? Any other leads? Anything interesting? In terms of finding a guide, not so much. There's a person in Winterhaven, an older dwarf who apparently retired a long time ago, but makes trips out this way to Brightport every once in a while, but isn't, it's not a scheduled thing, so they don't really know when he would be back. Do we have a name on this dude? They only know him as the dwarf, because that's, they know him like he stops in the bar and tells stories the entire time he's there, and then continues on his way.

Got it. And they have reason to believe that he's- All of his stories, all of his stories like, "There I was!" Like that kind of like, you know, fucking, like it always starts like some huge dramatic thing, "I'm certain death was-" I hope he is who I think he is. If he is, then we should get him. He's exceedingly vague right now. Yeah, and he makes his way to Brightport, you said, every once in a while? Or to all of us? Every once in a while, yeah. Okay, so to Brightport. Okay, well, do we feel like these are leads that we should stick around in Aldmor for?

Or do you, like, should we go talk to Zunora? Or do you feel like we should make our way to Brightport and keep that in our back pocket? I think we should hunt down the dwarf, to be honest. So, to me, that would mean going to Brightport, doing what we said, which was to talk to Tessia, see what, you know, just basically use a home base and try to figure out what we can figure out, and then do a little digging to see if the dwarf has been around. That's a question, basically. [Laughter] What do you guys think? I think that's a good idea. I do too. Okay.

I mean, Zunora was, you know, nice enough, but not particularly helpful last time we actually talked to her, so. I mean, it doesn't help that we already knew everything there was to know about werewolves. Plus, I mean, we have a dwarf, so we already have dwarf street cred, so, like, this new dwarf probably won't betray us. Oh, 'cause all dwarves know each other. Oh, that's where we cross the line? Really? [Laughter] Snoring and association. Wow. They're all greedy assholes, but if I say they could be friends, they'll find that. [Laughter] Oh, I know him.

I play basketball every Sunday. Oh, and now they're all good at basketball, is that it, Jason? No, those two. Just happens to be the hobby they engage in, racist. Is it actually a hype basketball? I was gonna say. Or is it- All the hoops are lowered. A personal experience, short people can play basketball. Yeah, but dwarves are so dense. They are the ball. [Laughter] They're great at defense. Well, let's get to Brightport and see what we can find, and that seems like a lead enough that, I don't know, there may be some truth to it, right? Whatever his stories might be.

I say we keep going. Show going weird. Alright, rolling through, continuing on. Let's see here. Who would like to do me a favor? I will. Alright, roll a flat T20 for me. It's not a four. It's twice that. You're- You're twice as good as Drake's, guys. Four Drake's. Or just one Drake, actually, if we're working on the actual math. It's not always Drake's. I'm just saying, like, relatively speaking. Right. Okay, so, heading south, from Aldmoor, you're gonna wrap around Bannet's Rest, which is a pretty big forest. It's just densely populated with fucking scumbags. That's not what you guys need to be concerned about.

You are gonna get to an area called the Moors. I would like everyone to do me a favor and roll a perception check. Wow, I really suck tonight. Like, exceedingly. I mean, you killed a Drake. Not bad. Yeah, see? You killed a Drake. It's true. Still over 20. Yeah. Fair. But I have a really good perception, like, thingy. And I've fixed it over 20. It's- it's- I mean, it's just sometimes it's a bad night. Like, it's just a really bad night. Let's see here. Kaluna and Merrick. Well, the party is going to take in this site as they come down this hill. And it's something that most people are used to seeing if they travel in this area.

The first time you see it, it's like, "Holy shit, that's majestic." But as you- as you're- it's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've seen, you know, unicorns." Oh. Unicorns just- just are everywhere in this area. They- they usually do not bother anybody. Some people can actually walk right up and they can- they can- they can just, like, pet them. Like, I mean, they're- they're very, very nice. Elves. Elves can't. That's- that's been- that's been established. Lots of people know that. That's just kind of like, "Hey, if you're walking through that area, maybe give them a wide berth." Like, maybe walk way, way, way around.

Because if they get your scent, they will attack on sight. They just- they're kind of assholes. The unicorns are not the thing that is really, uh, that- that's really going to draw Kaluna and Merrick's eye. Kaluna and Merrick are going to spot in the distance on, you know, just off the road, uh, there's a camp. And it looks like some gnolls have started ransacking this camp. And they are- they are going all in. Like, they are stabbing at tents. They are, uh, they're just kicking over boxes. They- they are heading in. They're just charged in, sort of SWAT team style, just running in.

Now, it is unclear if there is anything in those tents. If there are people there. Uh, but there are definitely gnolls just invading this- this space. And, uh, they are there to take personal possessions and just kill anything that gets in their way. So, I ask you, what would you guys like to do? Do you want to take the risk, uh, and investigate that camp to see if there are any potential survivors there or even anybody under attack? Or do you just want to sort of operate on the assumption that there's probably no one there and let them have the spoils of war?

Does everyone see this or do I miss it? I'm going to say Kaluna and Merrick are the ones that, uh, yeah. You guys have at it. Do we see, like, any blood anywhere at all? You're not seeing any blood yet. Though that may change, uh, if you give it time. Who knows? Hmm. I- I mean, Merrick's instinct is actually to make sure nothing untoward is happening and would want to try to help. But at the same time, you know, getting into another fight right now, there's so much on his mind. But, I don't know, I think Merrick would want to- he would turn to Kaluna and be like, "Point." And I- I guess- I guess I'm not close enough for it to be a whisper, right?

It doesn't matter. He's not going to do, like, hand signals, but just, like, I- I want to get close. I just want to make sure everything's okay. I- I don't want to get in the middle of anything, but I just want to make sure that nobody needs any help. I guess Kaluna's calmed down a little bit by now, but you can see sort of the light in their eye, like, "Ooh, ooh, can we hit a thing? Oh, we want to fight more things." But they're gonna- they're gonna try and rein it in and just sort of nod. Yeah. Like, let's just get close enough that we can't be seen, but we can maybe get a little bit of an idea of what's happening over there.

And then Merrick's gonna turn and- and, you know, download that information. Like, "Hey, there's stuff going over there. We just want to skirt close enough just to make sure everything's cool." Do you want to hang back, or do you want to- I feel like maybe one or two of us should go only, just so we can get a little bit of a surprise if we need to. Thanos will volunteer immediately, like, "Fuck it, I'll go." I'm pretty good at stealthing, despite what happened last night. That's a good point. I want Thanos to just say, "I'm- I'm pretty good at sneaking around," then Jasper- or Merrick just to roll his eyes.

Right, right. Like, "Mm-hmm, yeah." My stealth is positive. Jasper, you're bringing this to the party's attention, though? Yeah. Okay. I'm bringing the camp and the fact that things are happening over there, and, you know, so bringing it to attention and then saying, "I kind of want to check it out. I just want to make sure everything's okay. I don't want to get involved, but what do you think?" Ordon's gonna be ready to jump straight into battle. He doesn't like- I mean, they're just stabbing into the tents, right? Oh, yeah, just imagine a calm, you know, campsite.

They're serene, and these things just come running in. No sense of strategy or anything. Just, like, fucking kill, stab. Like, they're just- yeah. It looks like maybe this is something they've done before, where they're just like, "Hey, if we get to jump on something and kill it, there's no fight back, and we get to take their stuff. Awesome." So the cowardly nature of this would basically get Ordon's blood boiling. Cool. At the same time, I don't want anybody jumping into anything whenever we've just come out of a fight and we've got stuff to do, right?

"Thantos, any chance that you'd want to sneak around and see what you can find out? I don't want to put you in any danger, but you might be the best of all of them." I got it. "Mare, do you really think there's time?" Wait, like- Just let me see how many guys there are, and then we can take care of this. Like I said, I don't want to get involved. I just want to make sure that- we've already talked too much, I mean, everybody's probably dead at this point if there's anybody over there, but I just want to make sure everything's okay. It's just, I can't live with myself if we just ride along, right?

Thanos is gonna dismount and just be like, "Yeah." Alright, just go get as close as you can without being seen, and then come back and let us know what's going on. And we'll be ready to rush in if necessary. Well, you'll know if they find me. "Mare." She means explosions, guys. Cool. Boom. Big boom. I can't do another decimate today, though, so. So, approaching, here's what I'd like to do. Not another skill challenge, please. No, I don't think there's time for a skill challenge necessarily, but what I'd like to do is give me a general stealth check to see how quiet you're going to be approaching these things.

Okay. Sneaky sneaky. Holy shit! Very, very stealthy, actually. Like a fucking ghost right now. Thanos is going to sneak up on these gnolls, and it looks to be that there are seven of them, kind of varying shapes and sizes, and they are ransacking this place. So much so that you would guess that within probably seconds, if there is anything alive, it'll be dead soon. Here's what I'd like you to do. Give me a perception check. Okay. Shit. 19? Not the worst. Thanos still can't quite tell if there's any movement coming from the tent. The tents are obviously moving, but you can't- But it could be gnolls.

Right. It could either be just them beating the shit out of the tent, or something in the tent actually struggling to get away or get out. The noise of these things is so fucking ferocious that you can't make out any people screaming, but yeah, there's a hell of a lot of noise. Shit. How far away from the party did I get? I would say you're a good distance away from them. You'd have to yell for them to be able to hear you clearly. Ordon's just coming in anyway. Fuck. If she knows that people might die in a few seconds, she'd probably throw a force punch at the nearest guy.

If they're even close to being in a group, she'd pick the one in front to maybe knock the rest over. Alright, here's what we're gonna do. Knolling. Zing. That was good. That was a good one. Or a bad one. I don't even know anymore. I can't tell the difference. I get a surprise round, right? Because I was all fucking stealthy and shit? Yeah, we're gonna do a thing here. Hold on a sec. I'm gonna give you a map. Do me a favor and target... you should get a map. Let me see. Yes. Target that beefy one in front for me. Ooh, warrior fang. Cool, cool. Wow, he is exactly ten away.

That's very lucky. Alright, so I'm gonna throw that force blast. Wow. Oh. I am gonna miss by like a lot. I'm gonna say it's because she was reacting so quickly. Guys, hurry. Well, this is interesting. Okay. Oh man. So I'm gonna take seven hits now. Gonna clear all initiatives. So Merrick got Thanos killed. Yeah, great. How did Merrick get- Thanos gets Thanos killed. I would have ridden through the middle had Merrick not stopped me. That's a good point. I'm not really trying to give you a hard time, by the way. No, it's fine. It's fair. It's okay, we keep being consistent at ordinance.

I feel like he's earned it a little bit. I am ten away, though, so smart money is on the fact that a lot of them won't be able to reach me? Yeah. Here's what we're gonna do. Everyone. Okay, not everyone. I'm sorry. Thanos, roll initiative. Initiative, initiative, initiative. And then all these guys are gonna roll initiative. Oh yeah, that's a fucking good roll, thanks. That's a- No, I'm mad that I didn't get that roll earlier. Oh, okay. Like, there's a decent one. Like, I haven't fucked up gnolls before. So this will either be par for the course or their vengeance.

I heard what you fucking did! And then... Okay, this... alright. Guys, if you'd like to just hear that blast and then Thanos yells very loudly, "FUCK!" Oh, dude, at the end of this round, everyone else is gonna jump in. I would imagine they see- they hear the shotgun blast go off, and then the shot go wide and they're like, "Oh shit!" And they just start running towards you. I mean, two of them were already like, "Man, we're gonna kill stuff. It's gonna be great." So, I mean... Merrick just- his face is gonna do the- oh my- like, seriously? He's gonna grab his temples, just...

Yeah, I- If he had glasses, he would've taken them off all fucking mad. This is not a good day for group three. Just disappointed. Just disappointed. Not- not mad. This is not a good day for Merrick in particular, actually. Yeah. Alright. Not only is all this shit happening, but he didn't get as much sleep as he usually does. Yeah, this is all happening because you fucking woke him up. [Laughing] So this Noel is going to sprint and hit all fours. [Sniff] That sounds- it runs really fast. Faster than anticipated. And he's going to take the bow off of his back and target Thanos.

Really hoping they didn't have bows. Kind of what I was defending off. [Laughing] None of this. This is all really bad. I might die before you guys get here. Yep. That is going to hit. I am going to die. 28 damage to Thanos. Okay, wait. Wait. I'm going to take Iron Mind. Okay. When I am hit by an attack, it gives me a plus two to all of my defenses. But actually, I believe that I have something that helps with that. I thought I had something that helps with that, but I'm wrong. So, just plus two. Okay, so that's good. That's good. So that's a plus two to all your defenses.

Well, it could save you. You never know. The defenses aren't very good. I don't have anything to click for that, so that's just something we're going to have to keep in mind. Okay. Just remember the plus two. You know what? I'll give them a negative two to their attacks. Cool. Hmm. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, that's so lucky. He's just one away. He has to use his second to get there, so he can't do anything. Oh, wait. I already had it. I was going to be like, "Um, I thought he only gave me 28 damage. I took 30, but that's because of the two I had." The two.

Yeah, you can. Should have taken that shit. Should have spent a healing surge to get rid of two. Oh, let's see. The other Farfang Knoll is going to do the same thing. Farfang number one is going to target Thanatos. Hmm. Let me see here. What do you got? Nothing. It's his first round and he's attacking a 14-year-old girl. He doesn't think he needs to do anything. Though she did fine. He's been stabbed to death. Heard about you from my friend. Oh, that's going to hit too. This isn't good. This isn't good. Thanatos is not made to get hit. This was a bad idea. When you level up, there's some feet size.

I'm sorry. No, no, no. That's okay. No, no. Thanatos was ready to do this. It's just Thanatos is really fucking dumb. Your turn. Okay. I already used Iron Mine, first of all. I think I'll just use Force Punch because that's pretty much all I got in my arsenal right now. Alright, I'm going to hit the big fucker. Or not. Oh my god. Let's see. Farfang Knoll is going to target Thanatos. I'm going to use Hungry Arrows. So the chance to hit is a little lower, but if it hits, it's going to do damage plus five damage over time save ends. So, we'll see. That is just going to hit.

And it already has the negative two? No, it doesn't! Shit! No. That is going to miss. I'm sorry. My bad. That might help. Knoll Marauder number one is going to expend both of his moves to get there. Knoll Marauder number two is going to do something similar. And Knoll Marauder three is going to wrap around so that he can get here and flank. That will end the round. Everyone else, I would imagine, would get there. You guys. I'm going to put you on the map relative. Guys, roll initiative. Help me. Give me the big number of me, you motherfucker. Oh my god! Are you kidding?

You are so dead. Yes. Yes I am. Can we gesture as we roll in? What's the gesture? Just stickulate. Do something to draw their attention away. Taunt the gnolls. Extreme as you're running in. Exactly. Yell battle cry. Okay. That's actually a good question. Right. Here's what we're going to do. Okay. I'm going to ask you guys a very... Well, hold on. You're going to have to roll for it no matter what. I'm going to ask you guys a very honest question. As you're running in... This would be kind of imposing because it's a 14 year old girl that they're like, "Fucking kill it." But that's only because she tried to destroy them with an energy blast.

I mean, like, any creature would be like, "Hey, fuck you." But now, obviously, she has friends and they look more formidable in combat than she necessarily would. You know what I mean? Big armored dwarf, armored cleric and stuff. So, would you guys do anything running in there besides just running in there looking like you do? Would there be a thing where you're screaming or something like that? Yes. Okay. I mean, everything that's possible to distract them or get their attention or something like that away from Thanos. I don't want to be... I don't want to profile here.

I'm imagining the dwarf is going to be screaming running into combat. Really? We're going to go there again, Jason? Look, would you not be? Well, sure I would be, but that's beside the point. Do me a favor, roll an intimidate check. If it's high enough, then you're going to garner some attention here. Everyone... Just ordinate. Oh! 29. Okay, some of the heat's going to be off of Thanos here. Okay, good news, bad news situation. You got the attention of the Farfangs. Off the bat, they're going to go, "Fuck!" They're going to see other people coming in and it's like, "I want to get them down before they get near me, so I'm just going to pump them full of arrows." So, Farfang number two is going to target Ordon instead of Thanos.

And a fire a bow. Fang bow, that's the attack. Oh, that is a shitty roll. Okay, so maybe they're spooked now. This Warfang is undeterred. Yeah, he's the one I tried to hit, so that's kind of fair. Yeah, let's see, Warfang is going to target Thanos. He has this longsword, right? And he's going to pull this longsword. He pulled it from his scabbard. Wait, he's a gnoll, right? Aren't they tiny? They're bigger than you think. They're probably about the same size as Thanos. They're more like, they're kind of rounder. The word "gnoll" always made me think of a little tiny thing.

So I was like, "At least he'll look silly while he's slaying me, right?" Oh god, no. They're common. The only reason they're so, they're shorter than most humans, the only reason is because they're hunched over. They're part like hyena men. They can burst into a sprint on all fours. So they have like a 5/2 cutoff somewhere in there. Wow. The bigger ones? Yeah. That is so much bigger than I thought they were for some reason. Yeah, no. So he's going to take this and try and plunge it into Thanos' gut. Cool. That is going to hit. You die first. Okay, that is probably- I'm going to get the ten hit points from this one.

That is a really good idea. Okay. 31 damage to Thanos, but Thanos is going to, with just sheer grit determination and adrenaline, 31 temp hit points, so still on her feet, but only because of that. And that will end his turn, and that will bring up Farfang number one. Farfang number one is going to stop targeting Thanos, go to target Ordon. 33 will hit. 24 damage to Ordon. Solid shot. That will bring up Thanos. Fuck you guys. Desperate times, desperate measures, I'm not taking my three turns, I'm using a daily right now, devouring resentment at this fucker who keeps hitting me.

That will hit. That's a hit. So immediately that's going to do this 3d10, let me make sure I get this right, the start of its next turn it's going to do 5d10. So it's going to do this 3d10 first because it's going to kind of hurt, kind of hurt a little bit. 17 damage hurts. I'm going to then shift back one, then I'm going to take my action points. Shit, no I can't because I'm still, even though I shifted back one, I still can't take that. I guess I won't take the action point, but I'm still out of the blast this time. You could shift diagonally down and you would only take one opportunity attack.

True. That one opportunity attack could kill me though. I do have an immediate interrupt that would reduce any damage to zero, so I've got you for that if you need it. Okay, so I will- I'm waiting in the wings for that anyway, so. Cool, alright then I will shift the one down like Ordin suggested and then fucking book it. Alright, so pop in an action point after the shift and you are going to run. Yes. Alright, this knows. Ripping my stomach because I have to hold in my intestines. I imagine. Alright, hold on a sec. So, Thantos, so he is going to try and use his spear.

Where'd Thantos go? I ran. Gotcha. I took that movement. Yes, I know, I saw. Spear attack? Holy shit! Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding me? At least it's going to take my temp hit points first, but it might actually. It might kill me. Wait. Okay, Merrick? Yeah. You said you had a thing. I sure do. Oh, thank god. You're better. Oh man, Thantos has a bottle of fucking pure lick and- That's a crit, everyone, for those. No, I'm going to go straight for radiant armor, which is immediate interrupt. You are an ally within five squares, takes damage. The character in the burst who takes the damage, target damage is reduced to zero.

Holy shit! Thantos is really indebted to this team at this story. At least no one can accuse me of being OP. That was a worry. I am not OP. I am the glassiest of glass cannons. Okay, Farfang number three. Farfang number three is going to target Kaluna. By the way, no one stand near the big guy until this turns over, okay? Farfang number three serves- that'll hit! How dare you. Twenty-three damage to Kaluna. No Marauder number one. That's worth it to find out. No Marauder number one is going to race toward Merrick, target Merrick, use its spear. That's a crit! What is happening?

What the fuck? Do you have any immediate interrupts? We might have to run, guys. I did have an immediate interrupt. I'm sorry. I wasted it on some- You're so a dumb bitch. You started a fight with these assholes. No, I don't have anything, so I gotta deal with it. I have a reaction once it's- oh wait, no I don't. I lied. Thirty-eight damage to Merrick. Ordon, your turn. Hey, Ordon. Hey. Hi. Ordon, you can get within- you just have to stay out of one. That's not the way this works. If you went after three and just stayed that one away from that dude- Or just attack the one that's near Merrick right now.

I mean, you kinda fucked Merrick up. You might wanna help. Alright, um... I know realistically Ordon would go for the big one maybe, but there's one closer. See, here's the thing. And I gotta- I just wanna prevent meta. Ordon wouldn't know. Right. Ordon's never fought with Thanatos. That's true. What does Thanatos- okay. This is already super meta, but like, is there any residual sign that this is going to be a thing that happens? Because basically what Thanatos does is like, kinda punches the guy and it hurts, but she's burying something into him. Yeah, it's- Will that something be glowing?

Yeah, I mean there'd be like, um, there'd be kind of like a red kind of staticky charge to the guy. I don't think there's any necessary- I'm not sure if that would say- Yeah. Don't- I mean, I would probably scream "Explosion incoming!" Like, there's something going on, but yeah. Do we wanna do either a perception or intelligence check? That's a standard action. Well, no no no, but I'm- I'm- okay. To see if he would be- okay, give me an intelligence check. You know what, I'll do this. I feel like that's the only way to solve this. Yeah, you guys are having a day.

Nope. Alright, alright, then I am going to one, two- It almost took me out once. Three- That's max though. Four. At least it'll also hurt his friends now, 'cause they were all gonna run away. It's true. It's a silver lining, as long as it doesn't take Ordon out. And I am going to- Ordon's a hardy dwarf though. For the first turn here, I'm actually not going to attack. I will set up with total defense. Okay. So I'm going to attempt to absorb this round of punishment. Okay. So total defense will give me a standard +4 bonus to all my defenses, and I will gain an additional +3 from my spear.

So I will be gaining +7 to all my defenses. Jesus. Damn. If it's really cool, this is gonna hit you no matter what. Well. It's not your fault, it's my fault. This is the worst, everything's my fault. No, it's not your fault. It hits me because I ran up to it. You're gonna learn really quickly about this explosion thing. You're taking a crash course in Thanatos right now. Thanatos didn't learn from it, maybe you will. Holy lord. Thanatos is fucking stupid. So, Ordan's defense, he basically becomes Colossus. And it's just covered in steel. Jesus Christ, that is really cool.

No Marauder number 2 is going to shift down and attempt to try and surround Ordan. If I roll another crit I'm gonna weep. And target Ordan and try to use his spear. 26 is gonna miss, obviously. Marauder number 3 is going to, oh he gets a 28 wouldn't do it either. Your fucking AC is like 35 right now or some shit. Well I'm actually trying to, well plus 7 from 31 so it'll be 38. Shit. Gonna stop targeting Thanatos, gonna target Ordan and spear and no. And Kaluna. Hold on I have like 700 things that I'm trying to do at once. You know what, heal Merrick first cause I should.

Oh no no no no no no no no no no. Oh shh shh shh. No no, that's not how this works. I have 7000 heals, I'm just trying to pick the right ones. Cause I am ready to just sit this one out like and do my second wind and shit and then jump back in and fuck. Maybe fuck things up, probably not. Oh shit. Hm? Oh. What? Oh. Hold on a second. Okay you know you have to charge. Yes I know. I'm gonna do second wind after that is the plan. Okay. They're distracted now, I don't think they're hitting me anymore. Ordan's pretty fucking distracting and I love him. And I forgot to activate my aura.

He's still new, let him do it. No no. I forgot to activate it, that's on me. Okay where's all my shit that I was doing? Okay so Kaluna's going to scoot back one, gonna shift. Sup. Okay, going to use Sudden Call so that I can call Pig as a free action right where Kaluna was a second ago. Okay, on it. Okay and then I'm gonna do some cool Jimmy jams. Are you ready for this? Oh wait no. Hm, this is what Kaluna would do. I'm not, I spent too long on this. Okay, Xantos can take a healing surge plus six. That would be awesome, I would like that a lot please. And then because Maric is adjacent to Pig, he gets the 3d8 plus six.

Did I get my plus six as well, Jason? I'm on it. I want every hit point. I got the six, six nine heals. Okay what the fuck else was I going to do? Shit dude, where is, okay. I might have fucked up. Nope, close burst five, okay. One bloodied ally, that would be Xantos. Sup. Still, even after that first healing surge. Still pretty much. Yeah I imagine, yeah you were almost dead. Where is, is it on here? Don't think it's, okay it's not on there. But I'm gonna use blessing of the iron tree on Xantos. Oh that's another miner. The target gains resist five to all damage until the end of the encounter.

So just remember that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes. Are you healing Xantos twice as a result of healing spirit? No. Did I target Xantos when I healed Marek? No, but I will say this. There's, okay, check this out. Yes. Healing, you used healing spirit on Xantos, right? Yes. So she got to pop a healing surge and that's plus six. You could also heal Marek if you like with that. Because. Oh I could do that. Yeah, the target spends a healing surge. If the target does so, one ally adjacent to your spirit companion, that would be Marek. Other than the target regains 1d8 hit points, but at level 11 that becomes 3d8 hit points.

Yeah, that's what I just did. On Marek? Yes. Okay, just making sure. I'm sorry, there's a lot of healing going on there. Following the shit, yeah, cause there's. Yeah, it's a lot. Minor, minor, standard, minor, like. Okay, so I moved, I used one miner, and that was a free action, so then I'm gonna use my other miner. Good God. Okay, so the other miner is Blessing of the Iron Tree. And then. You only get one miner for. Oh, you can't trade down? I thought you could replace a move action with a miner. Oh yeah, if that's what you're doing, sure. That's why I'm counting off shit.

But you shifted. Yeah, cause I moved, and then I used a free action for pig, so that doesn't count. And then I used the miner for heal, miner for Iron Tree, and now. That's two miners right there. Yeah, yeah, I'm planning. I'm trying to think if I want to use. Miner for Iron Tree is the thing that he's trying to do right now. Right now, okay. Yes. So you don't want to take a standard unless you use an action point. Yeah, I think I'm gonna, yeah I'm gonna use my fucking action point. Merit gets 6 HP because of mending action. And now I'm gonna, this might not work, but I'm gonna try.

Where is my fucking attempt? Why am I looking here? Okay, we're gonna try and I have, if that's from pig, that's within 5, right? Yes. Everyone's within 5, yes. Okay, good. Including Orden, who? Oh, I was trying to, I was talking about the Warfang. Of, within 5 of pig? Yes. Okay, good. And we're gonna use a thing called Wrath of Winter. Why did it roll twice? I don't know, but they both hit. Good! It does hit the Warfang. Okay, so he's gonna take damage. Okay, that, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. So then pig gets to warp to a space adjacent to him. I'll go ahead and put him there.

Okay. He's gonna be dead soon anyway, but there you go. Sweet, okay. Anything else? No. World's longest turn. That was a good turn though, thank you. Okay. You did a really good job. Merrick! Merrick's gonna have a moment with searing light, I don't know what that meant at all. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, radiant damage. I was gonna try to describe it, then I realized I don't know what I'm talking about. And here we go. When a man and a woman love each other very much. Oh, I missed, that's great. Oh man. Alright, well, I think I'm gonna have to action point. Good, good.

This is my action point card, so I can get rid of it. Great. Pop an action point and target still and do light of Arvandor, which is this beam of light that comes out of the sky and like, whoosh. Gonna be badass whenever it hits. Which it definitely does! Holy fuck! So 14 damage, that's awesome! Good job. Boop! Alright. Alright. Okay. Farfang number two is going to stop targeting Orden and start targeting Merrick. And uses Boa. That is a crit miss. Nice. Thank god you finally got one that wasn't the other way around! It's not your fault. You don't- you're not gonna get a crit.

Remember, it's not me versus you. I know! This game is hard! Alright, especially at moments like this. Okay, I'm gonna roll this 5d10 and uh, hey, one of those Farfangs just moved. Yeah, 'cause I moved it. It's not his turn. It's the Warfang's turn. Oh, god damn it. Yeah. It's time for Warfang to blow up. Sorry, okay. And kill everybody. Okay, it's gonna kill everybody. Okay. So, here's the thing. Jesus, it's 5d10. Is there a modifier on that? I forget. At the start of its next turn it will erupt. That would be on your end if there's anything I'm missing. 5d10 damage dealt to itself.

And any creature within one space of it, guys. Woohoo! So that was really awesome when it was surrounded by three of his friends. Less awesome when it's two of my friends and two of him. Though I'm not really friends with Pig. 37 damage to- Okay, Pig's gone. Kaluna takes 11 damage. Okay, so Kaluna's gonna- okay, let's run this down one by one. Okay, Kaluna takes 11 damage. The Warfang's gonna take 37 damage. Hold on. 64. That's gonna bloody the Warfang. Hold on a second. 37 to Marauder. 1 and- 2 and 3. Oh, you only rolled 5. Right, yes, okay. So why did it take 60 something damage?

It didn't take 60 something damage. It took 37 damage. Okay, I heard you say 60 something and I was like, is there something I'm gonna- Yeah, that's its total. Okay. It's taken 64 damage total. Okay. That's 4, 2, 3 is also gonna take 37 damage. And Ordon's gonna take 37 damage. Now, question there. Wait, yes. Does this count as being hit and damaged by an attack? Technically, yeah. Okay, am I allowed both an immediate reaction and an interrupt? Break down what you wanna do here. Okay, so I have two abilities. One is unbreakable, which is you are hit and damaged by an attack.

And the effect is the damage against you is reduced by 5 plus your con modifier, so I'll take 8 less damage from the attack. Okay. The immediate interrupt is resilience of stone, which allows me to use second wind when damaged. I mean, I guess. Like, I'm trying to break it down in my head, like- This is the first time I've wanted to use a reaction and an interrupt at the same time, so- So the reaction would take place after the fact, and the interrupt would take- I don't think they cross over each other. So yeah, I'm gonna allow it. First, we gotta do this.

That would be 29- wait, you're- You take 8 less damage, you said, right? Correct. Ordon, let's never not be in battle together. How's that sound? Well, let's make it through this one first. Okay. Yeah. So you're also gonna pop your second wind, right? Correct. Alright. Okay, so. Okay. What is your fucking AC right now? It is... 40. Okay. I didn't even think that was possible, that is so fucking awesome. It's 31 base, it's 7 because of total defense, and it's plus 2 because of the second wind right now. Dude, I wanna be Ordon's fangirl, what the fuck? That is so neat.

We are really good at this. That is almost double phantoses. The off- you know, I don't do damage. This is what I do. That's what- yeah. If they ignore me, then, you know. He gets to stat at him and like, yeah. So okay, because there are two of his pals adjacent to him, the Warfangs attack, he gets a plus 2 to attacks. Mhm. Also because he's bloodied, he gets to take three stabs at Ordon. None of that's probably gonna matter unless he lands a crit. So, let's just get this out of the way. The Warfang's gonna untarget Thanatos. Target Ordon, here we go. 29, nope. 33, nope. 35, nope.

And the crowd goes wild. Wow, okay. Farfang's turn, Farfang number 1. Oh man, what the fuck. Now I'm gonna move down here. Target, Marek. And Bow. And Miss. And Thanatos. Let me just roll this like, whatever's gonna happen, happens. And then 7. And then 7, woo. Okay, that's a plus 5 to damage on your next attack if you hit. Would that affect a second wind at all? No. Okay. If I do second wind, does that just cancel that out? Or does it hurt me or something? No, it doesn't attack. No, it's just for the next attack. It's just a buff, it's not going to backfire on me or anything.

No, it's not gonna hurt you. No. Not sure what I'm gonna do yet, but we'll see. Farfang 3 is going to move just a little closer and target Kaluna. Please don't. And Bow. And 24 will hit. Oh my god, he hit you with a 6. Phoebe. You wanna hit me too, but. 22 damage to Kaluna. Kaluna's not here to be hit. No, not in this stance. Kaluna has a really bad punching bag. We should be "Let's not get hit buddies." No Marauder is going to target Marek and try and jab its spear into him. That's gonna miss. Wow, shit. Orden! Okay, first thing I'm gonna do is activate my Defender Aura.

So that's up now. So the other buffs to AC are gone. You mean the +2 from... That, but... Right, the other one's just whether I choose to go back into total defense or not. Right, yeah. 'Cause I could just do that every turn if I wanted to. Well no, because the fact that you're popping an aura, that's an action of some sort. Total defense is you do nothing on your turn but put up your dukes. Technically I don't think you should have been able to do it the first time 'cause you moved. I just forgot. That and Thanos should have been taking 5 damage every turn but we just kind of forgot about those things.

Shit. No, she didn't get hit by the thing that did continue damage. Did she? I don't know, I didn't. Yeah, 'cause it missed. Oh, it missed! Okay, sorry. Yeah, it totally missed me. It was important. Why did I remember that? 'Cause it did hit me, it did. And then I was like, "Wait, did that count my -2?" Yes, that's what it was. Sweet. So I haven't been taking damage. Not because you fucked up. Because I'm not taking damage. Good. Thank you, Mac. There's so much going on. There is. There's a lot of magic. And none of it's good. None of it is good except for the shit Ordon's doing.

Which may or may not have been legitimate. Ah, dude, it's fine. There's - we haven't done combat on G3 for a while and then we did all of the math in combat on G3. Mistakes were made. Okay, so I need to attack something now. Do I have something better to do? I don't know that I do. I don't know. I'm in a weird spot here. I guess I'm just going to use a melee basic attack. Null Warfang number one. We are going to do a melee basic attack. That'll miss. Alright, sweet. That'll end my turn. Yeah, these Marauders are gonna start piling on Ordon. You still got a crazy AC, so...

Let's see here. Ordon and spear. 30 still misses. And we're on number three. Ordon, spear. That's a crit. Well, first things first. Stone Root's Endurance. So, whenever an attacker lands a critical hit against me, roll a d20. On a 10 or higher, it's a regular hit instead of a crit. I rolled a d20 or you? I mean, I guess it's either. But since high is good, I guess it's me. Go ahead. So that's a regular hit. Just barely, too. That's awesome. 26 damage. That's much more doable. That's still a lot of damage. Look at those. It's a lot of damage, yes. Kaluna, your turn.

Ah, shit. Take care of you, honey. No, I'm just... It's conflict between "Mac wants to make sure everyone doesn't die" and "Kaluna is really angry." Okay, so the one thing that I know I'm going to do, that I know absolutely 100% for certain, is enter the Crucible. Please. So that's "I can't be weakened and resist 10 damage until the end of the encounter." Wow. Yeah. Handy. Yeah. Can I put Pig on the other side of the Warfang again, please? So that Ordon has flanking? You sure can. And then I'm gonna... I'll just use the planal...the planal heals. So he gets to spend a healing surge plus 6.

Ordon does? Yes. Ah, I bet that's much appreciated. And I am out of healing spirits. Okay. So no one get hit. Oh, I have heals, but they're not...I'd rather not use them. Pfft! Just for daily. So no one get hit. Please. I think we're gonna go...let's be realistic here. We're going back to Ald'more to take a nap after this. Uh, yeah, we gotta recoup. Yeah, there's no way we're continuing to Brightport in this condition. Bad idea. We can't. I actually lost track of where we were in the world. I thought we were a couple hours out of... Oh, you're more than that. Like, you guys continued on.

You've lost a day traveling so far, and... Which are we closest to? As of right now, you're kinda smack dab in the middle of Ald'more and Brightport. Perfect. So we might get another fight after this. Which has less dangerous stuff along the way? Sort of the cart before the horse. Yeah, let's do this first. Let's not die. Maric, your turn. Okay, I'm going to try to get this guy off of me, and I'm going to do Sacred Flame. I imagine Maric's gonna do some sort of telepathic "bzzzz" out of his brain, and it's gonna be awesome. We're just making shit up. I'm just trying to, you know...

Sounds good. Hey, that'll hit! That's a hit. Yay! The descriptions work. Okay, that is 15 damage to the Marauder. Hang on. No, no, no. Not just that. This guy fucked with me. Okay, so that's got the damage for that. The other thing with Sacred Flame is that one ally I can see chooses either to make a saving throw or to gain temporary hit points equal to... Blah, blah, blah. Charisma modifier and a half my level. So, who wants some temp hit points? I'd say give him to Ordon just because he's the one taking the most damage right now. I say give him to Kaluna. Oh, that's a good point.

Yeah. Kaluna's fucking hurt right now. Yeah, Kaluna's taking a nap on the ground just like, "I'm fine!" Kaluna is three worse than Thanatos, though Kaluna actually has four more hit points than Thanatos, so it kind of evens out. It does, doesn't it? Like, really beautifully. So, Merrick would do this for Kaluna. So it's temporary hit points equal to... Wait, Kaluna only has three more hit points. It literally balances out perfectly. Amazing. I'm going to appreciate that because there's nothing else here to appreciate. Nine plus five, so fourteen. Some beautiful symmetry.

Fourteen? Wait, wow. Really? Well, it's temporary hit points equal to my charisma modifier, which is nine. Oh wait, three. Sorry, I was doing the check. Yeah, three plus half my level. Twelve. So, nine. Boop. You know what? I'll take nine. Dude, they could keep you alive. I like to pretend... Anything else for Merrick? Can we pretend that they do the bro nod? That's how it's transferred. I think it's a minor action. Farfang two. Farfang two is going to target Kaluna. Come at me, bro. I resist ten damage. Twenty-three is going to hit. So you have ten hit points and resist.

You're probably going to be pretty okay. Or not. That is twenty-six damage to Kaluna. That resist ten helped a lot. Oh, so it's only sixteen, technically. Yeah. Wait, damage seven. Because seven is the only thing that got through. Right. Yeah. So that's awesome. Yeah. Warfang number one is going to target Ordon. Continue to target Ordon. He is going to use his longsword. And because he has two enemies adjacent to him, he gets a plus two to the attack. And twenty-six will miss anyway. And... That'll bring up Farfang one, who will continue to target Merrick. Thirty-three will hit.

Twenty damage to Merrick. Thanos, you're up. Hey. No matter where I go, someone's going to see what I'm going to do and hit me. I'm going to move here. And force blast this fucker. So, silencing up to Merrick. Yeah, silencing right up to Merrick. And force blasting this piece of shit. Okay, so the marauder right in front of Merrick. Yes. And if it means anything, I am aiming him at the marauder next to Ordon. I don't think that means anything. But, because I'm not sure if that lines up right. If it were more clear cut, whatever, I don't care. It's probably not even going to hit.

Nothing I fucking throw hits. Yeah. That's going to miss. I am essentially useless. Stop. Yay! Okay. I think that's, I moved, I did a standard. I don't have any miners. Okay. I don't, do I have a potion? I don't think any, it's never gone. I don't think I have a potion, so. Farfang three is going to target Merrick. And use Hungry Arrows. That is going to hit. So, 2d10. So that's 13 and 5 damage ongoing. Cool. Are you sure that Merrick's not a werewolf? Still. Are you 100% certain? Just want to make sure. There's a gnomish cavalry unit inside one of those tents they were stabbing.

Gnome-eroder one. Man. This fight. Okay. Gnome-eroder one is going to target Merrick. And use a spear. That'll hit. 25 damage to Merrick. Merrick's still standing though. Shit, yeah. Guys, at what point do we say we should run? I'm ready to, I just don't want to get hit whenever I run away. I should say how now? Yeah. Cause they do have far people. Ordon. Oh god, that sounds so sad, I'm sorry. I'm also in a unique situation where I can't even really withdraw into a... You have flanking? Well right, I'm... Yeah. If we kill their leader we might be able to scare them away.

If we can put up a good front and look scary. That's, I think, at this point, that's our only option cause they are destroying us. And like everyone said, we can't run away. Usually that's an option, but it's kind of not. Well, melee basic attack on Null Warfang number 1. Okay. And this is in flanking that I don't believe I have. We'll just add 2 to the attack. That'll hit. Alright. I am going to use one of my two power strikes. So the enemy will take an additional one weapon damage from the triggering attack. Ooh, okay. So, I'm going to... Bam. 20 damage plus another, what is that, a d8?

No, that is the damage. Oh, that's just the damage. Oh, okay. Oh, okay, okay. So 20 damage, okay, 20 damage. I mean, I could try to do that again. I try to drop them. I don't hear objections. Yeah, I think, I don't know how else we can do this. I agree with Breen. Yeah. Alright. Their morale gets shaken. Then I'm going to use my action point. Okay. Doo doo doo doo doo. So, if someone wants, they can actually use their second wind as a free action. I think everyone's within range. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Yes, everyone is actually within range. Merrick. Merrick. Merrick, do it.

That's a good one. Take that shit, take it. Alright, that's coming off of my armor, actually. My hero's armor. Don't worry guys, my armor keeps me from taking necrotic damage. And then I am using my melee basic. And that's a miss. But, Merrick does get to pop, okay, so, Merrick. Yep. Hold on a second. Let's get you all second winded. Thank you. There you go, there's a healing surge, and there's a plus 2 to defense. Feels good. That healing surge didn't take. He had 81 damage before and he has 81 damage now. Oh, that healed the Gnoll Marauder, why? Oh, it was targeting the Gnoll Marauder, that was the last thing you targeted.

I am so- Jason. I am so sorry, I'm on it. Those are the kind of mistakes that we can't take right now. Emotionally or in game. I'm sorry, it was honest mistake, done, corrected, I'm gonna take the damage back from the Gnoll Marauder. I think the Gnoll Marauder should take double damage because of that. I agree. I don't think that's fair. Let's put it to a vote. Listeners, you decide what happens next. No, fuck away from us. Wait for a write in campaign. Text 1 to... Here's Jason's phone number. He's text 1. Oh my god. Don't give anyone his phone number. Gnoll Marauder 2.

Oh lord, okay. They're gonna continue their plan of attack and just continue to stab at the Gnoll Marauder. The Gnolls aren't very smart at least, right? Well it's more this armored fucking dwarf who's probably just a tiny bit shorter than them, walks up and is taking a beating from three of them at once, and they can't down them. It's more infuriating. That's a hit. 33 damage, that will bloody Orden. Do you have a reaction to being bloodied, Orden? I do not. Do you deal extra damage when you're bloodied? No I do not. Gnoll Marauder 3 is gonna swing. That's a hit.

Okay. I do have an immediate interrupt for this one. Okay. I will shield block this one. So an attack hits or misses you or an ally adjacent to you and deals damage. The damage dealt to the target is reduced by 2d10 plus my con modifier of 3. Okay, so okay. I'm just gonna roll them individually. Okay. 1, 2, 13, so 16 damage will be negated. Hey! So all of it. That's exactly how much damage you took! Kaluna! The dice are only working for Orden tonight. But they're working really well for him. Yeah they are. I'm happy for you, spitting blood. Guys, are you ready for the thing that I should have done right off the bat but I thought, hey they're Gnolls?

I'm so ready for the thing you would have done right off the bat. Sounds great already. Someone else said hey, they're just Gnolls. Hey, guess what? Raging storm spirit, motherfucker. Oh my god that hits so hard. Fuck you and your goddamn face. YES! That will kill the war fan! You had one day Kaluna! And are you ready? Where is my fucking thing? I need... Fuck that cunt. I need a burst 5, Jason. Okay, coming right up. Oh Kaluna, I'm... So fucking done. I know you're a they, I don't even think you reproduce sexually, but something should happen. Give Kaluna a weird boner-less handjob.

Yes. I'll give you a stick job. A stick hand or something. Twig job. A twig job, yeah. Give you a real quick twiggy behind this. A twiggy. Okay, and that needs to be centered on where that Gnoll was. Done. Okay, and now... Everything dies. Everything's getting weird. I have to destroy Gnolls. Okay, so we're gonna, we're gonna scooch here, we're gonna shifty-shoob, and we're gonna, we're gonna... What was I going to do? I'm so mentally just- You cast unwanted blood- You just saw a raging storm. I know. And then you did a 5 around that dude. Okay, and then I shifted, that was my move, and I was going to do some shit.

Can I ask what that 5 does? Yeah. Yeah, that's whenever something gets hit, or whenever one of the Gnolls gets hit, there's a 1d6 extra thunder damage done to them. Ooh. Yes. Great, now I just have to hit something. Yeah. Okay, and we're gonna- I almost choked on water. We're gonna- Oh, fuck you. Only I can make jokes about how shitty I am. We get two action points at level 12, right? Yep. I'm gonna use another one and give Ordon another 6 health because of the action point he do. And then I'm also gonna use Spirit of Life so he regains HP as if he had spent a Healing Surge, but without actually spending the Healing Surge.

You are awesome, Cluda. Thank you, I know. Okay, on it. Done. Okay. That's- you know what, you know what, I have another minor, right? I'm just gonna go ahead and for safety's sake, I'm gonna use my Amulet of False Life so I get temporary HP equal to my Healing Surge value. I don't know if that's something you have to do. No, it's something I can do to myself! Okay, great. I'm tired. Let this play. Let me rest. Guys, there's not gonna be anybody in these tents, you know that, right? Okay. I know. I'm really upset about it. They would've come out by now. Who's defeatist, guys?

They heard- they hear shit if they exist. If they're alive and they haven't come out, they're going to be dead. I'm going to kill them. And wear their skin as armor. Exactly. It's better than the armor I'm fucking wearing right now for damn sure. Oh, my. That's a thing you might want to invest in when you get to Brightport or wherever you're going. Yeah, you think? Merrick! What the- It's your turn. It's your turn. Okay, I'm gonna do a melee basic attack against this Gnoll Marauder 1, because Jesus Christ. Come on, man. That'll hit! Yay, fuck him up. Tand- oh, that'll bloody the Gnoll, cool.

Okay, done. There you go. And inhale, sir? Honestly, that's it. Nope, that's it. Okay. Huh. Hum. This Farfang is going to target Merrick and use... Bow attack, that's gonna hit. No. 26 damage to Merrick. Merrick is still standing. He's like, "God damn champion!" Farfang number 1 is gonna target Thanatos. Why? I haven't done anything! You exist. You started the conflict, like he remembers your face. You're the only Githzerai in the field. He's gonna use Hungry Arrows. Stop using that shit. That's gonna hit. Fucking dickbags. I absorbed it? Oh, you still have the 10 hit points?

Oh, right, yes. And you also have resist 5? From Spirit of the Iron Tree? Okay. Did that factor in? I don't know. Did I have to click a thing to use that on you? No, it's not on here, so. Jason, can I have 5 hit points back, please? Temporary. Hold on. I suppose. Where is that on your... hold on. Spirit of the Iron Tree isn't on here anywhere, but I have it. I don't know why it's not. I remember... Is it a feat? I don't know. I just know it's a minor, close first 5, one bloody dally, primal. Do you know how many times the word "Spirit" is in your... I'm sorry, no, it's "Blessing of the Iron Tree." Oh, there it is!

It does exist! Okay, yeah, I was looking for it earlier, too, so. Here. There you go. Now it's official on the table. Alright, so I'll give back 5 to that. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm just gonna cancel that out anyway, because you're gonna take 5 until save ends. And then... Yay! Oh, I didn't do a... I didn't get a saving throw. I'm getting 5 damage. Did it automatically do it? Let's see. Turn save. I think it automatically does it. We'll keep an eye on it. If it doesn't do it this time, then we'll know. We'll make reparations. Thanatos, your turn. Okay, guys, let's take stock.

How many people still have healing left? Like healing surges? Like healing powers that could help other people. I have a little bit. They're not great. Okay. I'm wondering if I should just use my second wind to not die and then keep going, or if I should just fucking attack and get this over with as soon as possible. As long as you stay close? Is where I'm at okay? Yeah. Yeah, because I only have Force Blast and Force Punch now, like I have nothing else to help. Well, you have other powers. I have Reject the Lowsome, which I need to be surrounded, which right now I can't be because everyone's distracted.

I have Taking You With Me, which again, it only works if I'm surrounded. And Wings Off the Fly, which is great against one enemy. Yeah. And then that's a melee, so I'd have to approach said enemy. Though I guess I could do it to that fucking Farfang that's fucking me up right now. But what do you guys think? Should I take that second wind now to keep from dying, or should I? I would take the second wind. Okay, I think I'm going to do that. I already used my action points, so this is kind of it. But I gotta, because I'm going to die. So I'll take that. There we go.

There you go. So I'm not bloodied anymore, and then I get some extra defenses. There you go. Awesome. Hey, how's the morale doing? It's not great, I'll be honest. Yeah, not excellent, but you know. I feel super guilty. No, no, no, I mean the Gnolls. Oh, how are the Gnolls doing? Are they scared of us yet? Well, here's the thing. They just lost their leader, and that is a major hit to morale, but they still outnumber you, and they're doing really well, so it's not like they're just going to run away right away. Does anyone have anything that makes a big fucking- If I had decimate, I could definitely scare them, but I used decimate in the last fight.

You have another big thing you could use, but I don't know where you- That would kill me. And there's nowhere I can- that's the other thing, is there's nowhere I can be unless I switch places with Orden, and then everyone moved like 12 steps back. Yeah. And it would probably kill me. Straight out. Oh my god, Gnoll Farfang 3 is going to target Kaluna. Suck my dick. [laughter] That's gonna hit 24 damage. Oh, look at all that good shit. I'm glad I took those 10 hit points. Yeah, Jesus. That's coming in handy right now. How much did that- nothing got through? Yep.

Oh, because of the 10 hit- oh yeah, okay, good, good, good. When does a reaction happen, Jason? Depends on what it says. A bloodied enemy attacks you or your ally adjacent to you? Um, so then. Okay. So is he attacking right now? Do I need to react right now? Gnoll Marauder 1 is getting ready to attack Marek right now. Okay. Effect, you either make a melee basic attack against the triggering enemy or charge it. I don't know- can I charge from there? You'd have to charge it. You'd have to charge it, yeah. Would I just go like that? Is that how- Yep, and then make a melee basic.

Woo hoo! And then if my attack hits, the enemy is dazed until the end of my next turn. Wow, okay. Fuck this asshole. That's Wrath of the Destroyer, in case anyone's curious. Man, I have never used a melee basic attack. Wouldn't it be fucked up if Kaluna downed it? Motherfucker. Oh, that's gonna miss. Oh, it's melee basic, that's why. Is that a +2? I don't know in this edition whether charging- because it's a charge attack, so is that a- That still won't hit. Okay. And it's a +1. Okay. Yeah. You know what, I'm gonna try. So, the gnoll still gets the attack off on Marek.

That is gonna hit. Marek is going to get stabbed with a spear and go down. Shit, shit, shit. Ordin. Alright, I'm going to use an ability called Impaling Strike. So Ordin is going to see Marek go down, and he is going to jump on the back of this Marauder spear first. I can shift up to three squares prior to attacking as part of this attack. Oh, wow. That's really cool. So, I shift there, I target there, I attack with Impaling Strike. That'll hit. That hits. I am going to use my second and last Power Strike of the encounter. Oh. And let me make sure. You are going to run this gnoll through.

Right. That gnoll is dead. Power Strike gets wasted, but that's fine. Not wasted. That saved fucking Marek, so. And then, just to make sure these two realize that I haven't forgotten about them, I'm going to use an Encounter Free action, which gets triggered when I kill somebody. Now the funny thing here is that it's called Exaltant Withdrawal, but I'm going to use it to advance. So, one of my tax drops can be to zero hit points or fewer, you can shift three squares. So I'm going to shift right back. Stand on their leader's corpse right now. Do it, do it, do it.

Pig's already there, bruh. Yeah. Oh, right. I thought that was their leader's corpse, to be honest. I'm not zoomed in very close. And that will end my turn. Ordin, Jesus Christ. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Fucking hell. Wow, okay. These gnolls are starting to get worried now. Now it's like, oh, shit. They're still holding their own, they're still doing well. It's like, okay, we could still lose this if we fuck up. Gnoll Marauder number two is going to target Ordin. 28 is going to miss. Oh shit, they're going to start, you're Batmanning them now. They're going to just start getting more and more fearful.

Gnoll Marauder three is going to target Ordin. That'll hit. Just barely. 21 damage to Ordin. Okay. Kaluna. Is it like a standard action to do a heal check or something? Yep. Let's do that. Do I just roll a heal check? Yep. Let's do it. Woo. There we go. Hey, Maric, you want to pop a healing surge? Yeah, I was thinking about popping a healing surge. Okay, cool. Just, you know, wild idea. Crazy out there. Okay. And then I'm just gonna, for my move. Yay, Maric. I don't know if I want to leave Pig there or if I want to, you know, I'm just going to get him ready for another turn.

And that's it. Maric? Jesus Christ. Thanks everybody. Number one. Number two. What? No, no, no. What? Nothing bad ever happens to group three. Isn't that something someone said once? Yeah, I keep making the call back. Okay, here's a question. Can I, well, this will probably be a standard action. Can I tell if they're getting antsy? Like, can I tell if there's somebody that's in particular? No, I think it's more of a general, it's a general group vibe. Like you're going to, like everyone knows there's a lot on the line here because it's not one sided anymore. Got it.

Completely. Because I'm trying to do something at this point I can't do very much. Everything's kind of spent. Try to not die. You could roll an intimidate check. Well, no, actually what I was going to do is just use dismissal on one of them in the middle. Oh. And have the other one see that happen. It'd be like, holy, wait, what? Oh, that would not help. Yeah. I mean, I don't have much else to do. I think I'm going to go ahead and go for it. I think he's just, I'm going to do it. Who you picking? I'm picking normal order three. He's the one who just hit Ordon.

Mm-hmm. And I'm hoping that everybody's kind of sort of pointed towards the center so they can see this happen. That's the reason for picking that particular dude. Mm-hmm. And that's a hit. And just as a reminder, the target disappears into an extra planar prison until save with a hit. So there you go. Okay. So let's move. You know what we're going to do? I'm going to boop. He's invisible now. Boop. That's how we do that. So wow. Okay. Yeah, that is not going to help their morale. Um, no Farfang two. Shit. Yeah, that is not going to help their morale. I would say they're going to start backing up a bunch.

And as this one's backing up, he is going to target Merrick, just like demon, and just fucking like, oh, wait a second. Roll a saving throw because I don't believe it did. Oh. Just flat d20 and nope. Okay. Oh, I didn't do my saving throw last turn either when I did my second wind. Okay. Roll a saving throw then. Are you sure? Yeah, because I don't believe it did. It was a wild back. Okay. It's supposed to be, but I don't think it did. It doesn't matter. Yeah, okay. Boy, these dice. The dice fucking hit us tonight. Seriously. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay, eh?

Uh, he is going to fire an arrow at Merrick. That is going to miss. Holy shit, something missed Merrick? Yeah. Merrick actually bursts into tears, weeps, gets under his knees. That makes them back up quicker. Like he's fucking crazy. And he looks at, he does, he goes to his knees, he starts to weep and he looks at Noel Farfang too, who just shot at him. And he actually mails the words. Thank you. Oh, good lord. Oh, Jesus Christ, I hate that. Farfang one is going to target Thanatos. Cool. That, ooh, that's, yeah, that's gonna hit. 24 damage. Wait, how is none of this getting through?

Oh, yeah, the 10 hit points. I was like, wait, what? Yeah, it does take away my 10 hit points, but it shows up as zero. I noticed that with Kaluna too. Yeah. It all gets absorbed. I know you have damage or something, but damn. This is my favorite though. I'm glad to see this year. I'm glad I am getting, like, you die first, you described it to me and I was like, I don't think it's ever going to be used that way. Every time I've used it, that's what ends up happening. Because you were like, it's going to save you from death. And I'm like, maybe every time I've used it, it has saved me from death.

Legitimately, like every time. That literally gave you the momentum to walk away just long enough to be able to get back to the site. Yeah. Your turn, Thanos. Speaking of that, this Farfang fucker. I'm going to help him run away a little bit quicker. Force Blast. We'll see. I almost went straight up to him and did the wings off the fly, but then I have to charge twice, and I've been out of this fight for long enough. Oh, I've rolled twice. Hey, I hit both times. Oh, that was the second one was you. Oh, so. Oh, let me undo that before I, of course I hit me. Let's be real.

I like that the higher one hit me too. Yeah, you tricked the table. It's like, hit her. Oh, wait a second. That's exactly what happened. That is going to hit the Farfang. Go ahead and roll damage. Don't forget an additional D6. 19 plus the D6. Four more. So it's going to be 23. Done. And he is going to get blasted back six spaces. One, two, three, four, five, six. Just like land on its back and skid like fucking dig into the dirt and just like, yeah, not expecting that because none of these none of these guys have been hit by anything. This is done in terms of like regular attacks.

It's true. I just started with 9.1. At this point we should be able to just hoe our chests, right? We can run away. I'll just keep pushing them until they're gone. Farfang three gets to roll a saving throw. Oh, wait, no, so do I. Okay. His worked. Mine's not. Holy shit. Nice. Do I get to like spend a healing surge or something? No. Oh, worth a shot. Okay. Farfang three. Correction. Farfang three is going to target Kaluna. I'm at me, scrub lord. I'm fucking ripped. That's going to hit. I'm going to laugh if this downs me. Still standing. Kaluna's going to take one to the shoulder here.

Still standing. Ordan. So, when you said ripped, you meant like a part? Exactly. This is the time for jokes because we're just in the darkness. All right. Unsurprisingly here. I am going to use a melee basic attack on Gnoll Marauder number two. Oh, that's going to miss. That's going to miss. Sweet. All right. That will end my turn. Dude, I'm so sorry. Gnoll Marauder two is going to target Ordan. Spear. That is going to miss. Gnoll Marauder three. God damn it. So, that's the end of his turn though. He blinks back into his face and is like, "Oh, fuck. I've seen things." Kaluna.

I'm trying to see if I can maneuver in such a way I don't think I can. So, I'm just... We're just going to go for this asshole. So, maybe one of them will stop shooting at us for two fucking seconds. And we're just going to use a standard stalker strike. Go away. Oh, that'll hit like a fucker. Okay. That'll hit and damage is 13. Go away. Stop shooting me. Maric. Okay. Wait, you didn't save. Sorry. You did now? Was that for the saving throw? I just did a saving throw. Is that what you were saying? Okay, that's the end of your turn. But at the end of this, I'll take it off now so that we remember.

Okay, great. Great. Shoot, man. We could all get out of here if we wanted to, I think. We could try to run, but we're leaving Ord in the middle. They're already running. So, they're already running. I think we can take out the two other marauders. The far-flungs will run. I think we'll be fine. Maybe. Okay. Don't quote me on that. I'm going to use attack with my hand crossbow on normal marauder three. And I'm going to find the button to hit. Yay. And it's a hit. Jesus, that'll hit. Fuck them up, Maric. Ten damage to the marauder. Plus D6. Oh, yeah. Plus D6. Anything else?

Yep, I'm going to do healing words, a minor action. You or one ally in this big ol' burst of mine that is going to be Kaluna. Thank you. Target can spend a healing surge and regain one D6 additional hit points. Actually, three D6 additional points. Oh, man. That's fantastic. I'm sorry if that sounded like disingenuous. It sounded like you're broken. I am. So, roll three D6. Yay. Thanks. Nice. Listen, you got a six. I'll take it. I'm happy. Maric's going to back the hell up. So he's, even though we can't quite go off the table here, he's trying to get us far. Well, if you want to say that you leave combat, you can leave combat.

I'm not ready to leave combat. What if? Can I come back to combat? Can he dance? Can I just hump the edge of combat? I'll hump the edge of combat for a while. It's one of those things. We treat it as you're leaving. If you wanted to move out into the left corner, you'd be a little bit further away from the two farfangs that are still fighting. I'm pretty sure farfang one is out, because I just pushed him and hurt him a lot. So I think he's probably going to run. So just go up. Okay. Cool. So that two is going to move away. He gets an opportunity attack. Okay. Yeah, I get a special one for some reason.

I don't know why. Spirit swings? Is that the one? It is. That's my opportunity attack. Okay. That'll hit. 18 damage. Wow, Clun is not fucking around today, guys. Clun, if you kill another one, I think we're just going to make you be the DPS and I'll be the healer, okay? Farfang two is- Farfang two is going to target Ordon. Stop. That's going to miss. Just go. Farfang one. Farfang one is going to stand. Thanos is going to do a motion in his direction. Just fucking go. He's going to move back. Yeah. And then he's going to target Thanos. Okay, I deserved that, but the point was to leave. 33.

That'll hit. Yes, it will. 13 damage. Four of that got absorbed. No, four is the only thing that got through. Oh, four is the only thing that got through. Okay. Yep. Man, that- I'm fucking taking you with me. Really. Really helps. Thanos, you're reported. You asked for this, motherfucker. How far away are you right now before I move? 16. Okay, I got to move six, which is my speed. You know what? I'll do that, because you deserve this. Please hit. That'll hit. Back up, bitch. And you'll get blasted. Six spaces. And you'll fucking stay in there. Well, he deserves. That was only three.

I think he's off the map. He's literally at the edge of the map. He needs to go back three more. But there's no more math. Then get rid of him. He's out of combat then. We'll count the three next time he goes to move. Okay. When he moves up closer. Yeah, farfang three. Hmm. You want to go? We all have this fake confidence, but I don't believe for a second. It's not, for me, it's not confidence. It's just I'm sick of their shit. A little bit, yeah, right? It's like that point where it's like, I don't even care if I die at this point. I just, as long as I take you down with me.

He's going to disengage and start to leave. Please. And target Thanatos on the way. Fucker. I'm going to die. Target Thanatos on the way. That'll miss. Wait, something missed me? When something missed Merrick, it was a miracle. When something misses me, it was holy fucking, I don't know, what's it called when they stop a thing from happening? Divine intervention. Melee basic attack against null marauder number three. Alright. Fuck him up. You got this. Then you don't got this. No, no I don't. I'm sorry. You know, I've got one more action point left. Fuck him up. So I spend the second action point and I once again attempt a melee basic attack.

However, however, I can't roll above five, so null marauder number three is immune to my attempts. Alright, that ends my turn. Oh man, null marauder two is going to target Ordin. Spear. Spear. That will hit. 22 damage to Ordin. Oh my god. Null marauder three is going to target Ordin. That's going to miss though. Kaluna. Okay. Listen, I know that I should help Ordin, but these motherfuckers. Fuck them up. That'll hit. Holy shit. 19 damage. So for the people at home, pig is apparently charging after the fleeing farfangs. Oh my god. I could have charged. Opportunities missed.

Anything else? No. Maric. Maric is going to do a ranged basic attack against a null marauder two. Okay. Marauder two and that'll hit. Nine damage. Plus d6. Plus a d6. Oh yeah. Oh shit. That's total. Wow. That's really good. Okay. So it's almost like Maric and Kaluna belong together. Synergy. Especially when they were both dying next to each other. I was like, okay, but at least it's beautiful. It's poetic. Farfang. Oh, also I imagined them continuously like healing each other, like get back up. Okay. Well now you get back up. Well now you get back up. Exactly. So farfang number two is going to take a step back and then target pig.

So that'll keep him from firing an orden. So 19 hits. That'll hit pig. Haha but he's not down. Nope. He's still here to keep fucking up your shit. Farfang number one is going to pick itself up. Dude. And target Thanos. Dude. Why? You fool. And hit. Haha, lie you fools. Oh. Blooding again. Yeah, it's not over. And then it's gonna flee. Of course it is. Piece of shit, Noel. Jason, I'll be honest, I haven't been keeping track of my turns. Is it time for me to charge? Hold on. I haven't been keeping track. I'm so sorry. No, that's okay. It's been a long time. This, I believe, would be your charge.

I think so. So I'm gonna charge. Just to not cheat. If it's too soon, whatever. Ooh, six. Have I ever gotten a good charge? Haha. You got it that one time and I think you punched a wall? I think I did, actually, and I was just, and it wasn't even that like we needed a wall punched, I was just mad because I finally got a good one. It was good. And then we got a scroll. It's true. This fucking Noel, okay. Please, just go. Noel Farfang three is gonna just back off. And then target Ordon. And miss. I like to think he was saying to himself like this is gonna be the one because he has not hit him yet.

No. All right, all right. I feel a hit coming on. Do you feel it with me guys? I do. It is real. And there's silence. I feel it. I feel it so deep. Okay, so here's Noel Marauder number three with a melee basic attack. That's a hit. And we're gonna do damage. That'll kill it. Fantastic. And that'll end my turn. Noel Marauder number two is gonna start to shift this way. As a result of him shifting. Yeah! Yeah, Ordon, fuck him up! Battle Guardian, an enemy subject to your defender aura either shifts or makes an attack that doesn't include you. Make a melee basic attack and I'm guaranteed to do four damage even if I miss.

Oof. That'll hit. That'll kill the Noel. Yes! Kaluna, don't let him get away. Kaluna, your turn. Chase that asshole. By the way, technically Ordon gets to roll a six as well. To the death thing. Yes. To the death thing. Turn it into paste. So just let me be super duper sure. I think I know the answer. There's no creatures within three squares of this Noel, right? Nope. Good. I finally get to use the thing that I've been saving for so long. Spirit Hunt, let me read off this joyous thing to you. You gain a plus two power bonus to the attack roll if no creatures are within three squares of the target.

And it gets better. Okay, I guess whatever. I'll just, we can add it on. That'll hit. That's a hit. 3d10 plus wisdom if no creatures are adjacent to the target. Jesus. I want him to die. That will kill the Noel! Thank you. And that'll be it for my turn. Maric? Uh, Maric's gonna, you know, hang out. Okay. Maric's gonna chill. Thanos? White tears away from science. One, two, three, four, five, six. Four slaps. That'll hit. Six te- that will blast this fucking, that'll blast this Noel. Clean out of distance. No, I want him again. Yeah. Okay. Wait, no I can't, cause he's gonna move.

Oh wait, he can't move any further back. Technically he would be just out of my range if there was more map. I'm a good person, so I'm going to say that. He can run. Uh, that would be- Because I already moved, so. He's going to get up and use both actions to run in the other direction. That hurts me so much. Listen, if you hadn't killed him I was gonna try. And that will take you guys out of combat. Jason, I have a question. If you move, can you use a charge after the move? Well the charge, okay, see, a charge is part of a move, so basically it's a move where you get to hit something at the end of it.

It counts as one thing. I'm so sorry. There's no one in the tent, is there? Exploring this campsite! I have to mute. You're going to find that this campsite was indeed empty the entire time and the gnolls just took no chances in assaulting the surrounding area here. Can we get some gnoll pouts or some gnoll heads or something? You can do whatever you want to these gnoll bodies. Guys, what's your go? What do you think? Let's fade to black! Hold on, one more thing. I quit, by the way. I just get you some violent shit to this point. Hold on. I did roll a d20 to see what would happen to that.

Now let's roll a d20. Okay, okay! Now what? However, there are more gnolls. That's some pretty saluble shit. There are more gnolls, guys! There was one in the tent that's bigger than all the rest. The commotion! They were just waking their friends up. Feels like that last gnoll took five more damage than I thought it did because of my charge. There was one scuba diving in the nearby lake. Paratroopers from the gnolls. The steps here like in Dragon Age 2. You guys are going to find some rare gemstones in gold totaling about 3000 golds worth of value. And on top of that, you're going to find an assortment of potions.

Now, I think that's a pretty good time for us to stop for the evening. Let me make a note to manipulate some gnolls. What kind of potions? Potions, huh? I think it's a good time for us to stop for the evening and then we'll pick up- I'm making two notes for the gnolls. God. You guys okay? No! That was rough. You get two action points! We're cut out for combat, guys. No, we are! We're actually really good in combat. Usually if the dice fucking- Don't hate you. Fuck. I think we're putting a little bit on damage. Hello, everybody. This is Jasper from group three. I hope that you enjoyed that episode because it was pretty amazing.

As your favorite character, I just wanted to be able to tell you that there's a couple of places we'd love for you to check out. First of all, the Patreon. If you want to help us keep the lights on, if you want to help us get to really cool stuff and get some really cool content, then go to patreon.com/dandr and throw a couple bucks in and that's great. The second thing is the website, dandrpodcast.com. That has absolutely everything. That's the hub for everything. You can find all of the links and the cool stuff going on and links to the forums. Also, please go to iTunes and give us a really nice rating because it really, really helps us.

Thanks, everybody. Bye. Bye! .